Whore addiction

Recovering said:
Well I messed up big time. I don’t think I’m made out for this sort of celibacy. I’m going to have to embarrassingly explain this to my priest and the group here. After telling my priest at confession and you guys that I blocked the dancer and the fling (which I did), he asked me how I felt and recommended some prayers. I was good for a while, then after a bit I got bored and unblocked the stripper. You can guess what happened. The temptation of having a woman who is so agreeable is strong. She even bought me a gift for my birthday and asked what I wanted to do, wanted to plan a party. So honestly I don’t know what sort of weird limbo ‘relationship’ I’m in. Yes it’s sinful, but this is not black and white.
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Yes it is black and white. She is scamming you. And will continue doing until she (or her pimp) gets what she wants.

There´s nothing wrong you wanting to have sex. Nothing. This celibacy is stupid. Celibacy is for callings. Not for ordinary people. Wanting sex is as normal as breathing. What you need is a wife. So you can have sex with her whenever you like. That whore is not a wife. A stripper (and her pimp) has a school of life beyond what you can comprehend. And she will do to you what she did to others before. God knows a normal woman is already a pain in the ass sometimes. Imagine a tainted whore.

Take her to your priest. And see what he says. Maybe he can see something different than what I suspect.

Today my wife took by mistake my phone. We have the same cover. Because kids break all the others. And it feels really great. Tomorrow I will ask her to take my laptop also. A complete tech detox. No phone. No laptop. It´s a drain of energy.
 
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Samseau said:
This is not helpful, indeed you are doing the work of Satan without realizing it. Judging those who confess their sins accomplishes nothing and only pushes people back into the arms of the Satan.

A confession is a sacrament and is not to be judged. Christ did not come into the world to judge sinners, but to call them to repentance so that they may be saved.
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Saying what you’ve done on a thread made in order to receive advice about your situation isn’t the same as the sacrament of confession. I think Choppaaa’s advice is masculine and straight to the point.
 
I know it's a little late after 8 thread pages, but my first thought when I read the OP on April 13th was that the poster is a troll, since the thread and his account were created on the same day.

On RVF newbies were not allowed to create threads, which was a good rule.
 
Samseau said:
This is not helpful, indeed you are doing the work of Satan without realizing it. Judging those who confess their sins accomplishes nothing and only pushes people back into the arms of the Satan.

A confession is a sacrament and is not to be judged. Christ did not come into the world to judge sinners, but to call them to repentance so that they may be saved.

If you want to help people overcome their sins then you must learn patience and forgiveness.

Matt 18

21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.
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I did not see that advice as judging. Although I wish people would watch the profanity here. Sometimes, the compassionate thing to do is just to lay out the facts straight up, no sugar coating it.

Our recovering friend can either continue taking the first steps towards ruin, or commit towards true recovery which is towards God. To fall is natural. We all do, will continue to do so, and should not be judged for it. But how are you going to succeed if you don't even commit to try? When you fall, you admit your weakness before God and get back up. What you don't do is lie to yourself and say this is the way things should be.
 
Rodion said:
Saying what you’ve done on a thread made in order to receive advice about your situation isn’t the same as the sacrament of confession. I think Choppaaa’s advice is masculine and straight to the point.
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Let's define Confession: https://www.goarch.org/-/a-dictionary-of-orthodox-terminology-part-1

Confession. (Gr. Exomologisis). The act of confessing or acknowledgment of sins by an individual before God in the presence of a priest, who serves as a spiritual guide and confessor (pneumatikos) authorized to ask for forgiveness and to administer a penance.

So... who knows? Perhaps there is a priest here? ;)

When the above definitions were written there was no such thing as online forums. So, we'll have to make do with confessions over the internet in a modern sense; no one is forcing someone to confess online, this is a forum dedicated in the name of Christ, and this is a forum where we want people to draw closer to God. Thus, confessions should be protected and not mocked or insulted, and indeed treated as a sacrament, if there is indeed a sincere desire for repentance.

Mocking or insulting those who confess simply discourages others from confessing, which pushes people further away from God and his Son. Thus such unloving actions cannot be tolerated here. It's as simple as that.

Bird said:
I know it's a little late after 8 thread pages, but my first thought when I read the OP on April 13th was that the poster is a troll, since the thread and his account were created on the same day.

On RVF newbies were not allowed to create threads, which was a good rule.
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Try reading the thread. You can go back a single page and receive the answer to this question. The newbie in question did not make the thread.
 
Samseau said:
This is not helpful, indeed you are doing the work of Satan without realizing it. Judging those who confess their sins accomplishes nothing and only pushes people back into the arms of the Satan.

A confession is a sacrament and is not to be judged. Christ did not come into the world to judge sinners, but to call them to repentance so that they may be saved.

If you want to help people overcome their sins then you must learn patience and forgiveness.

Matt 18

21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.
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I understand your point. We all fall short.

But my delivery was deliberate. No one is setting firm boundaries here. If someone repeatedly does things that are harmful, after multiple suggestions to ameliorate their issues.... You have to tell them to stop firmly.

OP is not committed to change or he would have deleted the whores number.

My take is that OP wants to have his cake and eat it too. He's allowed himself into a "relationship" with her. Feels bad, and wants to get a pass from us as he continues to do this.

Best of luck OP, maybe you and the woman can turn your life's around. The idea of sleeping with a woman who sells their body for sexual gratification to other men is beyond me.... And clearly OP is conflicted.

I've offered as much solace and suggestions as I am able to.
 
Samseau said:
Let's define Confession: https://www.goarch.org/-/a-dictionary-of-orthodox-terminology-part-1

Confession. (Gr. Exomologisis). The act of confessing or acknowledgment of sins by an individual before God in the presence of a priest, who serves as a spiritual guide and confessor (pneumatikos) authorized to ask for forgiveness and to administer a penance.

So... who knows? Perhaps there is a priest here? ;)

When the above definitions were written there was no such thing as online forums. So, we'll have to make do with confessions over the internet in a modern sense; no one is forcing someone to confess online, this is a forum dedicated in the name of Christ, and this is a forum where we want people to draw closer to God. Thus, confessions should be protected and not mocked or insulted, and indeed treated as a sacrament, if there is indeed a sincere desire for repentance.
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Not sure if joking, or strange theology/ecclesiology tbh
 
Get2choppaaa said:
But my delivery was deliberate. No one is setting firm boundaries here. If someone repeatedly does things that are harmful, after multiple suggestions to ameliorate their issues.... You have to tell them to stop firmly.
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You're talking to an adult, not a child. As if telling someone firmly to stop ever cured an addiction?

Did it stop someone from quitting alcohol? Cigarettes? Weed?

There is a reason addiction is in the title of this thread.

This is also the reason my advice given at the beginning of this thread is vastly different than the advice given by everyone else here. The men here recommending prostrations and such had no idea what they were dealing with. Addictions are an animal all onto their own and, for the vast majority, cannot be defeated with simple will power. "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

Most of the advice given in this thread was very bad, not in the sense that it was incorrect, but in the sense that it would be ineffective. The posts with the most likes are actually some of the worst advice given. I didn't say anything because I knew what would happen would be a good learning experience for everyone here.

If, as Christians, we want to overcome sin in ourselves and others, then we must understand sin. I knew this thread would be a great learning experience for many.
 
Samseau said:
You're talking to an adult, not a child. As if telling someone firmly to stop ever cured an addiction?

Did it stop someone from quitting alcohol? Cigarettes? Weed?

There is a reason addiction is in the title of this thread.

This is also the reason my advice given at the beginning of this thread is vastly different than the advice given by everyone else here. The men here recommending prostrations and such had no idea what they were dealing with. Addictions are an animal all onto their own and, for the vast majority, cannot be defeated with simple will power. "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

Most of the advice given in this thread was very bad, not in the sense that it was incorrect, but in the sense that it would be ineffective. The posts with the most likes are actually some of the worst advice given. I didn't say anything because I knew what would happen would be a good learning experience for everyone here.

If, as Christians, we want to overcome sin in ourselves and others, then we must understand sin. I knew this thread would be a great learning experience for many.
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I'm not sure I completely agree that a firm word has never stopped someone from continuing to do things.

If my wife walked in tomorrow after a day of heavy binge drinking and told me: "you were xyz last night and if you don't stop drinking immediately, me and the kids are done" You'd better believe id quit, and do whatever I needed to (therapy AA or whatever) to ensure I didn't lose my family due to my addiction.

As I said. OP isn't committed to change. That's fine. He's going to suffer until he chooses to change and commits firmly with actions.

Here is the problem with addiction:

You are not defined by being a sex addict or alcohol or heroin junkie unless you accept that as your own self imposed definition...

I'm not unsympathetic. I'm just laying it out as it is.

Either stop and show commitment to stop or keep suffering. But we can't order anything more to the OP until he chooses to change.

A book on this I would recommend is Defeating Sin.

 
Samseau said:
Let's define Confession: https://www.goarch.org/-/a-dictionary-of-orthodox-terminology-part-1

Confession. (Gr. Exomologisis). The act of confessing or acknowledgment of sins by an individual before God in the presence of a priest, who serves as a spiritual guide and confessor (pneumatikos) authorized to ask for forgiveness and to administer a penance.

So... who knows? Perhaps there is a priest here? ;)

When the above definitions were written there was no such thing as online forums. So, we'll have to make do with confessions over the internet in a modern sense; no one is forcing someone to confess online, this is a forum dedicated in the name of Christ, and this is a forum where we want people to draw closer to God. Thus, confessions should be protected and not mocked or insulted, and indeed treated as a sacrament, if there is indeed a sincere desire for repentance.

Mocking or insulting those who confess simply discourages others from confessing, which pushes people further away from God and his Son. Thus such unloving actions cannot be tolerated here. It's as simple as that.
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Samseu, OP already consults a priest. Our advice here is not to take the place of that.


You might need to consult a priest on your own intentions of how we approach an Internet "confession" I'm.very very very skeptical they would see it in the same degree you do.

No priest I have ever encountered would recommend taking a strangers internet advice in lieu of sacramental confession.
 
An addiction is the exteriorization of a weakness. The weakness strikes when you can’t cope with the world. Something happens and you relapse. The reason is deep. And first he should find the reason why he can’t cope with some things which happens in his life. Wanting to have sex is normal. Why can’t you have with a regular girl? That’s the question. It’s not because you don’t have time. It’s because you don’t want to. Time is a lie you’re telling to yourself. Maybe it’s because there’s pressure to which girl you’re supposed to date. F them. F all those cunts. It’s like that mafia movie the kid dates a black chick. Sonny. Great movie. Or it can be any other reason. Parents divorce etc.

My older brother started doing light drugs. Marijuana. My parents took him to a different continent. Not city or country. A continent. Between him and his bad crowd. And it saved him. Even though he is still weak today. 12 hour flight.

When I worked a lot. When too much shit was going on. My trick was to sleep very little. Next day booomm. There could be a earthquake. I wouldn’t feel it. Instead of alcohol or drugs. Just sleep 2hours. All your problems will go away. You are numb.
 
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magoo said:
An addiction is the exteriorization of a weakness. The weakness strikes when you can’t cope with the world. Something happens and you relapse. The reason is deep. And first he should find the reason why he can’t cope with some things which happens in his life. Wanting to have sex is normal. Why can’t you have with a regular girl? That’s the question. It’s not because you don’t have time. It’s because you don’t want to. Time is a lie you’re telling to yourself. Maybe it’s because there’s pressure to which girl you’re supposed to date. Fuck them. Fuck all those cunts. It’s like that mafia movie the kid dates a black chick. Sonny. Great movie. Or it can be any other reason. Parents divorce etc.

My older brother started doing light drugs. Marijuana. My parents took him to a different continent. Not city or country. A continent. Between him and his bad crowd. And it saved him. Even though he is still weak today. 12 hour flight.

When I worked a lot. When too much shit was going on. My trick was to sleep very little. Next day booomm. There could be a earthquake. I wouldn’t feel it. Instead of alcohol or drugs. Just sleep 2hours. All your problems will go away. You are numb.
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Good advice, but use fewer swears. It's unnecessary and degrades the forum. You can make the same point with just one swear (or none) per post. That is your addiction to overcome.
 
Get2choppaaa said:
Samseu, OP already consults a priest. Our advice here is not to take the place of that.
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And how's that working for him? He's coming to an Orthodox forum for real advice.

Get2choppaaa said:
You might need to consult a priest on your own intentions of how we approach an Internet "confession" I'm.very very very skeptical they would see it in the same degree you do.

No priest I have ever encountered would recommend taking a strangers internet advice in lieu of sacramental confession.
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Naturally this cannot take place of a Church confession, however, it can take on similar forms and characteristics, which is why it makes no sense to judge those seeking help.
 
JCSteel said:
@Recovering , Maybe it isn't black and white. I'm not on the same spiritual level as many of the men on this forum are, so please take whatever I say with a grain of salt. God is showing you what's in your heart and where you are at spiritually, by allowing this relationship to continue. I don't know whether it will keep you from God's kingdom or not. I'm not familar with everything you posted in this thread regarding this situation and your addictions. I'd pray and continue to talk to your priest. @Get2choppaaa is right. You gotta do what's necessary or stop asking for help. Your soul is what matters most.

In my struggles against my vices I've learned that if I can stay busy and work until about 2-3 hours before I go to sleep I can spare myself many temptations. I don't have a wife, gf, kids, so unless I'm of a mind to read or work out I need to be working. Idleness is the mother of all vices.
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What proof do you have that men here are spiritually developed? A brief reading of the forum makes it extremely clear it is not so. You have two men swearing at this guy, and other posts are ridiculous. These men are not spiritually developed, they are online fakers who want to tell you what to do.
 
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TheHammer said:
What proof do you have that men here are spiritually developed? A brief reading of the forum makes it extremely clear it is not so. You have two men swearing at this guy, and other posts are ridiculous. These men are not spiritually developed, they are online fakers who want to tell you what to do.
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This is your first post.

Using an occasional F bomb is a tactic to emphasize a point. Doesn't mean someone isn't a practicing and developed Christian. You don't really know.

Yeah extreme vulgarity is a different point... But ...What's your advice?
 
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