Yes I failed. I didn’t want to keep it from the guys on this forum because the posts in this thread are helping me. I could have just lied but I didn’t. If this was easy men wouldn’t be struggling with this vice from the beginning of time. Anyway, I did block her, then decided to unblock her which of course was a mistake. She is a stripper, but besides that she hasn’t done anything unkind to me. No unkind words, no attitude, has no issues hanging out with me outside the club and doesn’t ask for anything. If we go out I’ll buy her dinner or pay for the date. We’ve hung out for entire weekends, she’s fine with it. She doesn’t have a pimp, she lives with her grandparents. She works at the strip club a few days a week.
I thought about taking her to church and seeing if she can be led out of this life, but obviously I am extremely hesitant. If it is a long con (it totally could be) it would be a poor move. I have planted seeds about God and that she needs to get out, but I can be more forceful. I am split between giving her an ultimatum or just ghosting and blocking again. Why I feel bad about just ghosting, besides her dancer lifestyle she hasn’t done anything wrong. But continuing to see her leads me into sin, and obviously she is very high risk.
To be honest, if she rejects the ultimatum to quit and turn to God it would be the easiest solution, I’d just move on. But if she doesn’t and accepts? That will be tricky. Is she genuine or is she accepting because of her current positive feelings. High risk.
I will have to embarrassingly explain this to my priest again. Yes I made a mistake, and the situation is tricky.
It won't be the last time you make this mistake, but you have to push to make the frequency of this sin less, and much less as time goes on. Cold turkey is impossible for most men with the way they've let modern hedonic feelings rewire their brain, you have to ween yourself off of sin. There is no drug out there that can over-intoxicate a man like supple woman's flesh, it is why it is such a high concern for anyone who walks with Christ, be they clergy, laity, or recidivistic sinners, to do whatever it takes to change their life so they don't keep falling back in.
Blocking her number was easy, for a month, but then you lapsed. You have to cut it off with her, change your social contacts, your friends, your surroundings, anything that is keeping you in this negative cycle. I don't know what your priest will recommend, perhaps it is something affecting you in your environment. Blocking numbers isn't enough, because its just as easy to unblock them and relapse. Digital mediums are capable of overriding rational thought with the kind of energy going in and out of them.
Perhaps you need to move to a new town in a new state, change your phone number, all your email addresses, driver's license, license plates, insurance, your job. Nothing earthly is worth keeping if you can't stop this behavior. I won't speak about my personal experiences, only that I had to fundamentally change much of my surrounding stimuli in order to de-program my brain from the emptiness that these heathens have put in place of Christ at the center of western society.
I think you need to seriously re-assess everything you have in your life and do whatever it takes to unplug from your surroundings, and perhaps find a new Church and a community far away so you start off right in the next place you move to, from the beginning all your foundations will be laid from that connection only, not work functions, not network contacts, not friends with money, but with humble beginnings.
You made it nearly one month without lapsing. Lets see you go for two or three from your most recent lapse. Some may disagree with me for suggesting this, but the fallen creatures of the aether are beyond our comprehension, and they have been here since the beginning, and know all the ways to contort an outcome from a man's desires. One thing demons don't like is a committed repentant, but they also don't like seeing a sinner make progress against their inherent weaknesses and vices. If you can make it an entire season without fornicating with any woman, then perhaps you can go for half a year or more, to re-wire your brain and give your flesh and aura time to heal by spending it praying, working, toiling, and laboring in both body and spirit, to rebuild yourself as a cleaner man. No Godly woman will want to be with a man who stains himself with whores and sluts. It is something they can sense, like pheromones.
Considering your situation, I also wouldn't waste your time taking a stripper to Church. They need to go Church regardless, but you have enough problems reconciling your own sins to take on the burden of another who is more lost in her sin than you are. Help yourself first, and then you will be able to help another in need.
Just let her go brother. Heed our warnings. Get out of the devil's house while you still can.
