Somebody's got a homosexual stalker.
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Whore addiction
- Thread starter Recovering
- Start date
You ignored the main points and body of my post, which is that 90% of modern humans don't have the skill set to deal effectively and long-term with children and marriage.
Sex addiction and drug/alcohol addiction are both apples that fall under the same tree of addiction.
Yes, and so is wanting to stop and eat at McDonald's when driving by and smelling the fake fries that they intentionally waft in the air for a 5 block radius. But that doesn't mean that you stop.
Wrong, the problem is that the OP is a newbie troll who came in hot by starting a junk thread in which "he" ignored all actionable advice and continued to drone on for 5 pages while well-known members argue amongst themselves as to the details of "Muh, whoring bad, marriage good."
So does pedophilia, but priests are banging children anyway.
As a happily married guy with a gaggle of little kids who seem to be doing well, I have to say thanks. Me, wise? Maybe I am in a relative sense. That's a nice thought. Maybe the bar for what constitutes wisdom is low nowadays. I think of myself as average or below average in all the parental and spousal virtues you listed, yet here I am doing it.
I feel like if I can do it, anyone can. It's probably crucial to avoid modern women of the type you described above. My wife and I mostly just do stuff with and for our kids and she's OK with it. My proposed solution is always going to be looking south of the border at Latinas who go to church, but there are probably other routes. I even occasionally see a white woman online describe herself as a "tradwife" whatever that means, so I guess women like that are out there.
The OP doesn´t have a sex addiction problem. Wanting to have sex is again perfectly normal. What he needs is to find a good girl. And he needs to ask God for it.
I eat at mcdonalds with my kids. Every 15 days probably. It´s not something I truly enjoy. But can do it. And if I was hungry I would eat there for sure.
Also thought he might be trolling. But this thread is not just about him. It can be used for others.
Priests are not banging children. This is protestant vomit. Pedophiles are. Priests have a higher obligation of moral conduct than normal people. Catholic schools have a lower rate of abuse than any other type school. I have never heard or experienced the slightest abuse. What you feel is a very heavy atmosphere. There are no excesses.
And catholic teachings are 100% in favor of marriage and children. Saying 90% of population shouldn´t get married is pure nonsense.
I have to disagree with you here. I think OP is genuine in asking for advice. You can see the progression from when he first started asking questions, to receiving advices from fellow members, and finally he started his journey towards stopping visiting his partner. All in a span of just a few days. Even when starting the thread OP knew that there is something wrong in his life decision.
So to summarize OP has already acted towards the path to salvation, and he is not a newbie troll.
On the other hand this thread has done much more than to help the OP, it is also accessible to anyone who have a "whore addiction" or perhaps any other addiction. From the first page to the last page, many forum members have dropped a very high number of red pills and God pills, even I as someone that only lurked in this thread got incredible amount of benefits and knowledge gained.
Recovering
Catholic
Thank you for this post. I don’t know what that posters problem is. Yes I have blocked her number and have begun praying a lot more, in addition to the Orthodox style prostrations. I am doing well. I don’t think the battle will be easy, but I have taken the advice of the people in this thread. This morning I saw an attractive woman walking into work and it triggered lust in me, but it totally passed.
So the positives are, cut off contact / blocked her number, a lot of prayer, confession, which I was doing even before registering here, no desire to visit the clubs, no pmo, no porn.
The physical act of prostrating while praying seems immensely helpful, even lots of physical activity. I have been working out every day, and being physically tired helps because my body simply doesn’t have the energy to dwell on lust.
Yes I need to find a good woman, how I don’t know, but I will keep praying for it.
So the positives are, cut off contact / blocked her number, a lot of prayer, confession, which I was doing even before registering here, no desire to visit the clubs, no pmo, no porn.
The physical act of prostrating while praying seems immensely helpful, even lots of physical activity. I have been working out every day, and being physically tired helps because my body simply doesn’t have the energy to dwell on lust.
Yes I need to find a good woman, how I don’t know, but I will keep praying for it.
This thread is helping me.
Not only that, but there's also not a lot of difference between a "whore" and "typical girl you ask out on a date."
If your "girlfriend" has had a dozen previous sex partners, are you dating a whore or not?
In that sense, "girlfriend" only means a definition of exclusivity over a narrowly defined time period.
How narrowly defined must it be before it is meaningless?
I am glad you see that the root issue is looking upon a woman with lust, or adultery at heart, as Jesus says. The heart is always the primary battlefield.
I have only had intermittent victory in this department as a single man. I've fornicated since accepting Christ and watched porn, but I would say this: before I accepted Christ, I never had ANY victory. I was a constant slave to it. So there's progress. Will I be able to ever have total freedom and victory without a wife? Perhaps, but I strongly suspect not.
There absolutely are good, attractive Christian women out there. The problem is just that they are rare and difficult to find. I recently went on a date with one. Unfortunately the feeling does not appear to have been reciprocal, but it nevertheless gave me renewed optimism, so I'm going to just keep trying and looking. We just gotta keep up the fight and let God handle the rest.
Good. But I wasn't referring to you or most of the 675 guys on CiK.
And so please pardon my suspicions which led to direct accusations in an attempt to get to the truth of the matter.
Okay, Paternos. You know what I meant, it may be exaggerated, but it exists.
Understood, I will reevaluate my position as it seems some are benefiting from this thread.
Through the years we've had a lot of problems with newbies coming in hot, members being harassed, and attempted doxxings. Pardon my paranoia. It seems some high value posters here are vouching for you so I will go on my way. God Bless you.
Okay, heard, I apologize for the interruption.
So everybody's contributions have been insincere? It's all BS? It doesn't seem that way to me.
Even if the OP were a troll just posting bait they thought would get a lot of engagement, it seems like there have been a lot of sincere responses. However, I don't think the OP is a troll. I think his reactions seem legit.
I can see questioning the thread after the first post, but not at this point. Also, like ed plrbs unm, I can say this thread has helped me too.
Again, that's what forms most of my responses to threads like this or topics like this. We all do, or most of us that ever bothered to come here, it's #1 issue or a top 3 issue while we also talk about and investigate other interesting things that red pill men do.
The issue is timing, or perhaps God even saying, "No." Those are possibilities. I would say they are probabilities given the extreme lack of wife material. You can't blame God for that, so you have to change your environment. It's not like God can force women into being good wives or wife prospects any more than he can force us to accept a fatty for marriage. Na'mean?
Last post in this thread.
Of course not, nobody stated that. I myself have defended troll threads that turn into gold. What was being questioned was not well-known members authentic responses to a possible troll thread, but the OP newbie coming in hot with a controversial single issue topic thread, instead of posting in an already existing relevant thread. That and the username is a bit suspect. We've seen this pattern before. But time will tell.
And so your take is respected and noted.
Not to toot my own horn here, but people gloss over how important this point I just made is. If I change my environment, for example (go overseas let's say), and find a wife, did God "give her to me"? It shows you that that is a really weird way of looking at things, at the very least. Do you owe everything to God? Yes. I think I've disproved the magical God thing with that point, though. For some reason the religious among us think that marriage is some other type of class of action that is distinct and separate from any other accomplishment in life, ie you have to put the work in. By the way, the way things stand here it's probably more likely that things don't work out in the west when compared to another country (where both can go wrong, I agree).
I keep going back to the fact, what I consider the reality, that marriage is just a form of being, like some of the monks state, just as they state that being celibate is a form. I fully admit that it is possible, even quite likely, that the evil spirits use my ego against me to make me think as though I "deserve" certain things. I've seen a lot of unreasonable people over time, and I think a lot about ego and self reflection. While I probably am unaware of a number of sins that I carry around, one thing I don't think is that I'm being unreasonable in my pursuit for a wife. I just think it's an unfortunate era (in ways), and it presents some good things, and some challenges.
Dude marriage is about having a home. The right wife is the woman who submits to you (but for real. Not because she is faking). Doesn´t challenge every shit you make. And passes the boner test. She also must bring joy.
There was a list on RVF of good women traits. No social media, good relationship with father, etc ,etc.
Some people have a calling. Had a friend who was an incredible goalkeeper. Who was studying to be a priest. BUT one thing is to have a calling. Other is to be a chicken shit who is afraid of putting the work. Try buying a ring and asking a girl to marry you. Or waiting for your kid to be born.
Kids will take away all boredom of your life. They are perfect. With children you don´t need nobody else in your life.
I can´t see my life without my kids. And maybe this year I will decide to have more.
It´s not the same. Having a kid when your 20 or 40. The first 3 years are really demanding. Until they take the diapers away. It´s really demanding. And the older you are worse it will be.
If you can´t find a woman its because your not looking for one. As simple as that. I believe God decides if you are ready and deserve the responsibility of creating a family.
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Thanks for the reply.
The only ones I see who might fit that are old. Historically ancient, and I'm aware of it. I can't unsee it, like others who don't think very much about things who don't see. Maybe that's better, or maybe it's just the bliss of ignorance. Either way, it ain't me.
I won't contest that that's the case for you, so I'll take your word for it. Not everyone is that lucky. I know, because I know what kind of kid I was and I see what kids are like - and I do see a lot that I like, but they are fewer in terms of being easy for parents. I had a constitution that was easy for my parents, literally a dream. I see parents who are either bad parents, have nightmare kids, or both. I'm sad for them.
I hear this all the time, but I am calling BS on it, right or wrong. I think it's far more dependent on what your wife is like, and in America, it's always going to be harder due to egalitarian and "sharing" nonsense.
Partly true, but partly irrelevant in the way that I don't see more than 1-2% attractive women in the society, and few are young. I think your last sentence is a self shine, but it's true I don't know and we're both speculating.
Recovering
Catholic
The advice here is helping me. To the naysayers, I didn’t begin this thread. I posted in another location, the destruction of women thread, and moderator of the forum felt a new post with this title was a better fit for the discussion and he created it. My first original post was in that thread, not a new post. If the discussion is too forthcoming for you, you don’t have to read it, but I can’t just openly discuss this in the world. The only one who knows the depths of it is my priest.
I bought a picture / icon from a shop and hung it in my living room, I think with it staring at me it will be a good reminder to be pure. It’s been smooth sailing so far this week.
I did some thinking on how I got on this bad initial path, and it may be useful to discuss with the forum…I didn’t have a great upbringing and my father was extremely violent. I didn’t see normalcy in my parents marriage as a child and hence relationships were always a struggle. I kept taking the easy way out first with just hookups and flings, then the strippers. With those types of ‘relationships’ you never have to do the work on yourself, girl annoys you? Get another one. Find a better looking one? Go for it. They are all expendable and not viewed as human beings. It’s the same with porn.
But it’s all an illusion. Not just in the obvious ways, but to yourself. You gain nothing from a hookup or paying a stripper to be with you. Then the months and years go by and you haven’t ever tackled the real issues that held you back from being with a loving woman to begin with.
What I learned that’s bad too is that the women in this industry are the same, but blind to it. They all come from broken homes and rarely do they have fathers in their life. The men around them have failed them too. They succumb to the demons promise of fast cash and materialism. But they too fail themselves.
Nothing of real value in life comes easy and God seems to have made things this way on purpose. We must struggle for spiritual purity, or in a marriage or relationship. If God acted like a genie and took away all our ills he’d be doing us no favors. So, I will not take the easy way out with this goal of spiritual purification through God, marriage, a family, and a real loving wife. I will fall, stumble, and get back up. I will not lose hope. As my priest told me the other week, the goal of the demons is to get you to despair, because once you are in a despondent state you give up on everything. You give up on God and yourself. But hope will drive out despair and I’m beginning to feel that again. God bless.
I bought a picture / icon from a shop and hung it in my living room, I think with it staring at me it will be a good reminder to be pure. It’s been smooth sailing so far this week.
I did some thinking on how I got on this bad initial path, and it may be useful to discuss with the forum…I didn’t have a great upbringing and my father was extremely violent. I didn’t see normalcy in my parents marriage as a child and hence relationships were always a struggle. I kept taking the easy way out first with just hookups and flings, then the strippers. With those types of ‘relationships’ you never have to do the work on yourself, girl annoys you? Get another one. Find a better looking one? Go for it. They are all expendable and not viewed as human beings. It’s the same with porn.
But it’s all an illusion. Not just in the obvious ways, but to yourself. You gain nothing from a hookup or paying a stripper to be with you. Then the months and years go by and you haven’t ever tackled the real issues that held you back from being with a loving woman to begin with.
What I learned that’s bad too is that the women in this industry are the same, but blind to it. They all come from broken homes and rarely do they have fathers in their life. The men around them have failed them too. They succumb to the demons promise of fast cash and materialism. But they too fail themselves.
Nothing of real value in life comes easy and God seems to have made things this way on purpose. We must struggle for spiritual purity, or in a marriage or relationship. If God acted like a genie and took away all our ills he’d be doing us no favors. So, I will not take the easy way out with this goal of spiritual purification through God, marriage, a family, and a real loving wife. I will fall, stumble, and get back up. I will not lose hope. As my priest told me the other week, the goal of the demons is to get you to despair, because once you are in a despondent state you give up on everything. You give up on God and yourself. But hope will drive out despair and I’m beginning to feel that again. God bless.
I'm in my 40s and feel no less tired now than in my 20s. I take care of myself.
I have a new child and it's fairly easy (sleep problems are the most difficult mainly for my wife) and so much fun. It's not like you suddenly become unable to move drooling all over yourself.