After attempting to find the Lord and failing I fell into a state of loneliness because of the strict rules on celibacy. I reversed course and went wildly in the other direction and as an older man I began a relationship with a 24 year old woman who is promiscuous and works as a stripper. At first nothing would happen, but I got to know her and we began a sexual relationship. This entire scenario reminds of how much I’ve fallen, I remember I was the one who pushed everything, like evil spirits were guiding me.
We began having sex with protection, then one day out of the blue like a demon was speaking through me I said do you want to have sex without a condom, she says…yes of course we can do that. I warned myself I should be careful but I wasn’t and busted inside her. Now the scenario plays out exactly the same, she comes to my place or we meet somewhere and we have sex. The first time she was nonchalant and said oh don’t worry I’ll just go get plan B tomorrow, now she doesn’t even mention it and accepts my seed no questions asked.
I feel shame for what I am doing, but I can not stop. I confessed and my priest gave me such lame advice like chastity is important, yes father I know but what do you expect with these stupid rules on celibacy? We are told to procreate but the church woman are usually old and ugly or prudish. I would rather have kids and if it takes having them with a hot but promiscuous women so it is, I feel depressed and in the gutter my brothers in Christ but this is where I stand. I will keep having sex as a man should and avoid these strict rules and get nothing instead. The monk and priest life is for the very few and they have failed miserably too
Don´t outsource responsibility subtly to "demons" or any other external forces.
I don´t care if a certain special, minority, group attempts to incentive me to watch porn. I don´t care if big food ´put crack in the donuts´. I don´t care if the wizards on the shiny book say "it´s safe and effective". I don´t care if the government incentivizes one to be a fat, brain-dead, progressive, promiscuous, weak family values, consumer, vegetable, that votes away their rights under the guise of "equality" and lives their entire life destroying their self-interest, and society, for the benefit of the elites.
At the end of the day the only thing that matters is if you chose to be a serf, or not. I am an aristocrat, or a freeman if you prefer, because I hold myself to exacting, and demanding, standards that void me being contorted by the slave masters; I don´t pick cotton, I own the plantation.
While their are dark forces at work, the only thing truly in your way, is yourself. How do you feel being a peasant/serf/slave? How do you feel allowing this tart control you? How do you feel knowing that you´re probably being used for a future child support cheque, and that you´re going to likely spawn an incredibly messed up child as a result? You can stop living such a lifestyle right this very second. You already know the suffering of being a peasant is worse than the ´benefit´, or you wouldn´t have written this post. Eighteen years of child support, and ´raising´ a degenerate daughter or son (you´re too weak to be a parental figure that will overcome the cultural influences if you can´t stop this behavior) is far more painful than the ´joy´ of the sex.
One can die on their feet, or on their knees, and only each individual can decide this. I know what path I chose, and my life has been infinitely better as a result. Why don´t you come and join us? Holding yourself to standards, and overcoming the mass, all encompassing psy op, is the most rewarding life available. When one overcomes the culture conditioning to be a serf, then they can truly live a life that´s aligned with nature/God, and this can´t be done otherwise. Take the metaphorical hand, and join us, on the free mountain. Live a life where you´re in control as much as an individual can be. If you´re not dictating your life as much as one reasonable can, then someone else is, and they likely not doing so out of kindness. The stakes are only your contentment, and entire life.
