The NoPorn / NoFap Thread - For Those Who're Serious

I see a lot of hamstering on overdrive on this thread. Yes, the world sucks right now. Society, the job market, dating relations between men and women. All of these are an absolute disaster right now thanks to malignant external forces in the physical and spiritual realms looking to shape a new, perverse way of living opposite of God's purpose. But these external forces can only shift what's willing to be pushed. As men, you have God's spirit and characteristics inside you and through Him can fight back.

All these negative changes have only happened because on one side you had spineless, self-serving, people-pleasing men and on the opposite side you had men who just sat by idly and didn't resist for whatever reason. But inaction is a mistake since it is now percieved as compliance and a sign of weakness.

There are already enough things around in the present day to make you weak.

All sorts of residue chemicals in tap water with a myriad of possible effects.

Extremely elevated constant stress with barely any relief.

A government that has become increasingly incompetent over the decades to now reaching a point where they actually harm the hardworking tax payer in favor of criminals and non citizens.

A society that gets more hedonistic and secular with each passing year with suitable available women becoming less and less.

Different forms of media designed to shun masculinity and a well adjusted male mindset while encouraging feminine, childish, weak behavior.

The list goes on and on. But the bottom line is that to even begin trying to change any of the above things men have to become united in a common goal again and they need to become strong physically but most important, mentally.

The biggest hurdle is overcoming the vile addiction fueled by a biological impulse. Understand that no matter what kind of erotic content you are viewing (as "harmless" as it seems) you are essentially castrating and cucking yourself. You are damaging your brain, altering your mental state, and unnecessarily depleting your body of vital nutrients. All for what can be considered a perverse form of inadequate mental escape. A dangerous coping mechanism that will never be beneficial to you in any way.

You indulge in that stuff because you were unhappy or unfulfilled with something at some point in your life and now have become accustomed to using that to unsuccessfully fill the missing void. Fix whatever the underlying personal issue is and your fight to quit porn will be half won. The other half is admitting you made a mistake using porn as a crutch and doing everything you can to avoid digital and articial erotic stimuli and training yourself to not succumb to old habits should such stimuli come your way.

Find some trusted friends. Strengthen each other and don't rationalize bad behaviours. We can fool other humans but God knows what's truly in our hearts. Before God we are all sinners and one day will have to be held accountable of everything we did with the life he was fortunate to have blessed us with.

You make good points, but there needs to be an outlet. Are all men sex addicts or is it just the natural mating imperative? The question is has a man successfully done this for years and can testify to that in good faith? No porn, no sex, complete celibacy and conquering these thoughts.

I expect to see responses like well I have sex with my wife, or I went 90 days, or a year. Porn for me was relatively easy because it seemed fake and you weren’t interacting with women. Real life fornication is another matter totally especially if you are unmarried.
 
You make good points, but there needs to be an outlet. Are all men sex addicts or is it just the natural mating imperative? The question is has a man successfully done this for years and can testify to that in good faith? No porn, no sex, complete celibacy and conquering these thoughts.

I expect to see responses like well I have sex with my wife, or I went 90 days, or a year. Porn for me was relatively easy because it seemed fake and you weren’t interacting with women. Real life fornication is another matter totally especially if you are unmarried.

26 But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Don't conflate our weakness with impossibility. It is literally Satan speaking in our ears when we think chastity, at least until marriage is attained, is an impossible goal.

Our perspective is warped because we live in such a fornication-drenched society. To answer your question, yes probably a majority of modern men are either porn or sex addicts. But that doesn't make it natural, acceptable or justifiable.

There does need to be an outlet for most men who are not blessed with a gift for lifelong chastity, and that's a wife. This is why the Church teaches that there are only two paths, marriage or the monastery. Being a man of reproductive age, living in the world and remaining unmarried is the unnatural state that cannot be sustained, not chastity itself.
 
Real life fornication is another matter totally especially if you are unmarried.

I'd say real life concubines a big step up over whores and e-whores. At least there is a chance of marriage with girlfriends.

@Doraemon What denomination are you?

As for those who continue to stumble; fear not, have faith, stay strong - pick yourself back up and soldier on, brave warrior of Christ.

 
Thank God after my last post here exactly two weeks ago, I managed to stay clean until now. Not fapping for two weeks makes me able to think clearly and without shame.

Brother you need to set goals and have a plan. Have you seen the Monk Mode Celibacy thread? Maybe you could try something like this?

Post in thread 'Monk Mode Celibacy' https://christisking.cc/threads/monk-mode-celibacy.595/post-33454
Yes thank you for the advice. Sometimes we need to try creative ways if simple "just do it" mentality does not work. After looking at that thread and considering my real life conditions now, I think the best way for me is monk-mode self improvement (not just celibacy) to really make a difference.

You need to permanently delete these photos and apps now. You cannot cling to them if you hope to overcome this sin.
If there is absolutely no other way, then hard decisions must be taken.

Ask your priest for a penance, prostrations, prayers for purity.
Last Sunday on 12 May I confessed sins to the priest, and God's forgiveness is indeed infinite. After confessing, the guilt and shame for losing control and PMO'ing on Pascha is gone, believe it or not. This definitely helps me in getting up and fight again. Funny thing is the prayers for purity is already included in my church's prayer book, but I almost never prayed it lol.

@Doraemon What denomination are you?
Well my denomination is a very small one since it is neither a Protestant nor a Catholic church. But my church's denomination forms an unbroken line to the Original Church and The Apostles. Its faith, teachings, worships and ethics have not changed for 2000 years, and it never undergone reformation or counter-reformation.

The church that I went to is under the jurisdiction of Moscow Patriarchate, Exarchate of Southeast Asia. I'm going to attach two pictures to help explain. One is Metropolitan Sergius celebrating divine liturgy on St. Thomas Sunday at my church (12 May 2024) and another is my priest celebrating divine liturgy on Commemoration of the Dead (Radonitsa) (14 May 2024).
 

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I think one mistake a lot of people make in the NoFap thing is denying their agency too much. When people fall they will talk about the urge being too strong, as though some external force took hold of their body and against their wishes made them masturbate. Urges are real, but one can still decide how one responds to them, and viewing them as something that overpowers your agency is not doing any favours. When you fall, you feel a sexual urge and then you decide to masturbate in response to that urge. You could decide to do 50 push ups instead.

The sexual urges are there for a purpose. They are neither too weak nor too strong. It is us who is weak in the face of them. It does not help at all if you submit to this idea that you are at the behest of your urges. And we wouldn't accept this excuse in others for acts of degeneracy.

You are masturbating because you have allowed yourself to become weak in the face of your biological urges. Don't be pathetic and blame them for your inability to respond to them with discipline. God created these urges for the continuation of mankind, don't blame him cos you cannot stop playing with your penis. Rather, develop the discipline and stop being a degenerate masturbator.
 
I think one mistake a lot of people make in the NoFap thing is denying their agency too much. When people fall they will talk about the urge being too strong, as though some external force took hold of their body and against their wishes made them masturbate. Urges are real, but one can still decide how one responds to them, and viewing them as something that overpowers your agency is not doing any favours. When you fall, you feel a sexual urge and then you decide to masturbate in response to that urge. You could decide to do 50 push ups instead.

The sexual urges are there for a purpose. They are neither too weak nor too strong. It is us who is weak in the face of them. It does not help at all if you submit to this idea that you are at the behest of your urges. And we wouldn't accepat this excuse in others for acts of degeneracy.

You are masturbating because you have allowed yourself to become weak in the face of your biological urges. Don't be pathetic and blame them for your inability to respond to them with discipline. God created these urges for the continuation of mankind, don't blame him cos you cannot stop playing with your penis. Rather, develop the discipline and stop being a degenerate masturbator.
Pushups or doing something else to distract yourself is certainly helpful, but in my experience it is not enough. The only way to have a chance of overcoming this temptation entirely is to turn to God in prayer and ask Him for help. That's where our agency lies, but not in resisting on our own. As St. Paul says if we try to resist on our own we will inevitably fail, especially for those of us who have become consumed by this particular passion, because the real fight is not just against flesh and blood. The demons will hit us with all kinds of negative emotions and dark thoughts when we say no to them, and that is where many of us fail because we seek to escape the pain. It hurts too much, and instead of turning to God we give in to immediately alleviate the pain. But there is no reward without pain, because "we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God." (Acts 14:22).

I read the Way of the Ascetics by Tito Colliander which gives some very good insights into this. To overcome sinful urges, Colliander says, we must have 1) humility, 2) constant watchfulness/nepsis, 3) the will to resist, and 4) prayer. Never engage the enemy directly. Never start arguing with him or rationalizing things. He's far smarter and more experienced than you and will find just the right buttons to push to make you act out. And you'll end up suddenly in deep shame wondering what just happened.

 
Well my denomination is a very small one since it is neither a Protestant nor a Catholic church. But my church's denomination forms an unbroken line to the Original Church and The Apostles. Its faith, teachings, worships and ethics have not changed for 2000 years, and it never undergone reformation or counter-reformation.

The church that I went to is under the jurisdiction of Moscow Patriarchate, Exarchate of Southeast Asia. I'm going to attach two pictures to help explain. One is Metropolitan Sergius celebrating divine liturgy on St. Thomas Sunday at my church (12 May 2024) and another is my priest celebrating divine liturgy on Commemoration of the Dead (Radonitsa) (14 May 2024).

Are you not Orthodox? You are under the Moscow Patriarchate? Why call yourself "other Christian"?
 
Pushups or doing something else to distract yourself is certainly helpful, but in my experience it is not enough. The only way to have a chance of overcoming this temptation entirely is to turn to God in prayer and ask Him for help. That's where our agency lies, but not in resisting on our own. As St. Paul says if we try to resist on our own we will inevitably fail, especially for those of us who have become consumed by this particular passion, because the real fight is not just against flesh and blood. The demons will hit us with all kinds of negative emotions and dark thoughts when we say no to them, and that is where many of us fail because we seek to escape the pain. It hurts too much, and instead of turning to God we give in to immediately alleviate the pain. But there is no reward without pain, because "we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God." (Acts 14:22).

I read the Way of the Ascetics by Tito Colliander which gives some very good insights into this. To overcome sinful urges, Colliander says, we must have 1) humility, 2) constant watchfulness/nepsis, 3) the will to resist, and 4) prayer. Never engage the enemy directly. Never start arguing with him or rationalizing things. He's far smarter and more experienced than you and will find just the right buttons to push to make you act out. And you'll end up suddenly in deep shame wondering what just happened.


Of course prayer and spiritual life is essential. I just mentioned push ups to illustrate the fact that we do have a choice. It is also undoubtedly true that the demons want to influence us in the direction of sin, but even they do not deny our agency. We still have to agree to their suggestions, so the same thing applies here. "Demons overpowered me" is a false way to look at it, just as much as "muh urges overpowered me" is. Demons suggested it and you did it. God would never permit a demonic suggestion that is impossible for us to resist because our free will is sacrosanct. The same applies to sexual urges, God created them for a purpose and He created us with the ability to resist them.

You are correct, turning to God is the only solution. And not only at times of battle. As soldiers of Christ we cannot expect to win the battles if we don't train during the peaceful moments.
 
In Corinthians Paul says when we give in to these sexual sins we sin against our own body. Masturbating and watching porn only nurture the lusts and obsessions which enslave and blind men, like they did to Samson. With that in mind, there's more power to resist.

I think the most practical thing a man can do to avoid temptation, in addition to prayer and exercise, is to arrange his day so that he avoids idleness.
 
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Are you not Orthodox? You are under the Moscow Patriarchate? Why call yourself "other Christian"?
Short Answer:
Yes I am an Orthodox Christian, and yes my church is under the Moscow Patriarchate. I have several considerations as to why I tagged myself as "other Christian".

Long Answer:
When I first registered on RVF on January 2022, I chose the tag "other Christian" because I was spiritual but not religious at that time. I accepted Jesus Christ as my lord, teacher, and savior. But I also accepted Lord Shiva, Lord Vishnu, Lord Brahma, and Lord Buddha as equally valid.

After being baptized in a Russian Orthodox Church on January 2023 and registered on CiK on October 2023, I chose the label "other Christian". These are the reasons:
  • I saw on RVF 2.0 members with the "Orthodox" tags are viewed as "elite members" or part of the "cool guys club". Due to this perception many members there tagged themselves as "Orthodox" and its variants such as inquirers and catechumens. Even trolls and literal Indian Race Trolls chose the Orthodox tag. This is the kind of perception I want to avoid, I don't want to be seen as a poser here.
  • I'm from Southeast Asia, if I tagged myself "Orthodox" would people believe me? Again don't want to be seen as a poser.
  • I have repeatedly unable to meet the standards set by Christ and His Church. Would an Orthodox person keep failing a simple task like NoFap? Not only NoFap, I have failed in fasting, maintaining a consistent prayer rule, and much more.
  • By the way I'm also guilty of being a coward in real life. When asked by people I pretend to be a Roman Catholic, because Orthodoxy is treated as an "unusual Christian sects" by most people. I have several times told people in real life that I am an Orthodox, only to be met with ignorant questions and remarks. So after that moment I always pretend to be Roman Catholic to avoid ignorant questions. I regret that I am denying Christ by being a chicken like this.
 


Satanic society

This should be the strongest motive for anyone who wishes to quit masturbating...

There are evil satanic forces that are very upset that you have decided you want to stop masturbating, it concerns them very much. Not only do they stand to lose out financially from you not clicking on the filth that they are peddling, but they also do not want you to become a man that has control over himself, they want you to be impulsive, they want you to be unable to control your emotions and urges, they want you to be feminized. They want you to forget that sex was created by God with a purpose, that it does not exist for selfish gratification. They want you to idolize women, and at the same time degrade them in your mind to merely being visually pleasing objects that exist to gratify you. They want you to turn away from manhood, from fatherhood, from the purpose that God has created you for. You are a soldier of Christ, and this is what you are fighting against. Every day you go without masturbating makes the enemy very worried.

Why care so much that I jerk off? That's very very gay. No I will not be obliging.
 
Another thing that comes to mind is that people seem to hold testosterone as being a measure of manhood. Now I am not saying this hormone has no effect on masculinity. But there does seem to be a weird idolization of it in the manosphere as being the unit of measurement to be concerned with. This can then lead to detractors like those on the above discussion stating things like 'well actually abstinence from masturbation doesn't have any effect on testosterone levels.' I am fully aware that they may well be lying about this, but it still stands to reason that someone who thinks 'more testosterone = more man' might hear this and then think that masturbation doesn't impede their masculinity. We need to abandon a materialist and reductive notion of things.

A man can have high T levels and no impulse or emotional control. There are plenty of examples of this. That doesn't mean we should not strive to maintain a healthy level of the hormone as men, and have a lifestyle conductive to it, but the main reason for abstaining from masturbation is not about some magic hormone, but about behaving in a masculine manner. I.e: being able to resist impulses, have self control, discipline, and live by principles. Testosterone is a hormone that defines us as men, but in and of itself it cannot make you a man in a more spiritual sense of the word.

By the way this is not a criticism of anyone on this particular forum, but rather what appears to be suggested in the program, and from what I have seen in the secular manosphere where raising testosterone is seen as some kind of objective measure of being more of a man. I've seen plenty of jacked up, balding, aggressive dudes who act like children.
 
Another thing that comes to mind is that people seem to hold testosterone as being a measure of manhood. Now I am not saying this hormone has no effect on masculinity. But there does seem to be a weird idolization of it in the manosphere as being the unit of measurement to be concerned with. This can then lead to detractors like those on the above discussion stating things like 'well actually abstinence from masturbation doesn't have any effect on testosterone levels.' I am fully aware that they may well be lying about this, but it still stands to reason that someone who thinks 'more testosterone = more man' might hear this and then think that masturbation doesn't impede their masculinity. We need to abandon a materialist and reductive notion of things.

A man can have high T levels and no impulse or emotional control. There are plenty of examples of this. That doesn't mean we should not strive to maintain a healthy level of the hormone as men, and have a lifestyle conductive to it, but the main reason for abstaining from masturbation is not about some magic hormone, but about behaving in a masculine manner. I.e: being able to resist impulses, have self control, discipline, and live by principles. Testosterone is a hormone that defines us as men, but in and of itself it cannot make you a man in a more spiritual sense of the word.

By the way this is not a criticism of anyone on this particular forum, but rather what appears to be suggested in the program, and from what I have seen in the secular manosphere where raising testosterone is seen as some kind of objective measure of being more of a man. I've seen plenty of jacked up, balding, aggressive dudes who act like children.
Yes, testosterone is a necessary but not sufficient condition for masculinity. It's what you do with the gifts given to you that really counts.

I am not sure whether or not abstaining from masturbation will raise T levels. However, I do recall reading research showing that masturbation deadens the androgen receptors in your brain and nervous system. So even if you have normal T levels, your body will not be able to benefit from it fully if the receptors are shot. Only abstinence can heal them.
 
Yes, testosterone is a necessary but not sufficient condition for masculinity. It's what you do with the gifts given to you that really counts.

I am not sure whether or not abstaining from masturbation will raise T levels. However, I do recall reading research showing that masturbation deadens the androgen receptors in your brain and nervous system. So even if you have normal T levels, your body will not be able to benefit from it fully if the receptors are shot. Only abstinence can heal them.

Men need Testerone in the same way an Army needs Weapons in order to function.

However for an Army to be succesfull it needs to operate said weaponry in the right strategic & tactical manner. Taking all things into consideration.

A man with High Testosterone but low IQ & low spiritual value is like the Israelis in Gaza or the Saudis in Yemen.

A man with High Testosterone & high iq & of a higher spiritual value is like Ceaser at the battle of Alesia or Norman Shwarzkopf in Desert Storm.
 
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