How did you do?
The NoPorn / NoFap Thread - For Those Who're Serious
- Thread starter JCSteel
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Honestly, not great
The only goals I passed were the prayer and Bible ones (although the gym one was somewhat out of my control: I injured myself in the gym and wasn't able to continue working out).It's not nice admitting I failed, but I just need to brush it off and keep trying to walk down the right path.
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If I could offer any advice, is that your "workouts" should be a physical activity you enjoy. It shouldn't be a chore or demanded task, it should be something you truly look forward to and enjoy. It certainly doesn't have to be lifting weights. I see weights as a double edged sword, modern weights has allowed men to achieve their true physical potential, but it has caused a lot of mental issues as well, such as insecurity leading to quitting, over-confidence (wow, you can deadlift more than this guy, does that really mean anything in the real world?), and of course then eventually some turn to steroids and destroy themselves.Honestly, not great
It's not nice admitting I failed, but I just need to brush it off and keep trying to walk down the right path.
Find something you enjoy and do it. Whether it is going for a walk, or playing a sport, or yoga, or maybe it is lifting weights. I love lifting weights, but I do it in a way I enjoy. I focus on vertical leap, even though I am almost 50. Why? #1 I enjoy it. #2. I can't think of anything more functionally important than a vertical leap, the tendon strength and muscle explosion needed to jump your best translates to almost every other activity you will ever do. But it is fun, it is so much fun to just go outside and do jumping drills and practice dunk and feel like I am 19 again.
Anyway, make your physical activity something you enjoy and that will be easy to maintain.
You can do it!Honestly, not great
It's not nice admitting I failed, but I just need to brush it off and keep trying to walk down the right path.
Honestly, not great
It's not nice admitting I failed, but I just need to brush it off and keep trying to walk down the right path.
Have you tried fasting?
I've done intermittent fasting before for health reasons, but I've never fasted for spiritual growth. Would you have any tips or resources for getting started?
Good new video from Fr. Moses on the subject:
Batman
Heritage
An update... I did stumble into some XXX stuff and won't pretend it was an accident...but I had a very weak reaction to it, it didn't get me excited, and I stopped before escalating further because I could recognize it as a poison and see through the illusion that it will be "enjoyable". Try to always remember how you awful you feel after you relapse because that is how you're always going to feel. In my case a few relapses back to back will make me miserable for 2-3 weeks, and I had one of the worst ones in years recently and I won't forget it. Anyway, I did not allow this slip up to escalate further, and I haven't even had a "nocturnal emission" as they call it which is a good way to indicate how far you've internalized this goal into your subconscious.
One thing to note, is that masturbation to porn only serves to cement it deeper as a "trigger" in habit formation, basically the cue->routine>reward relapse cycle (urge > view porn & masturbate > perceived benefit). If you can avoid it for long periods it starts to punish this system in your brain via synpatic pruning and over time even if you do see "pornographic" material, you won't have as strong of a reaction. And, if you do see it and then choose to stop, this also is a way of punishing the feedback loop that starts from seeing the stimuli...but obviously if you can avoid escalating the "routine" in step 2 to masturbation, and instead completely stop at stage 1 in the cue/trigger portion, the cue/trigger will faceplant into the ground over time and it will punish the whole system even more.
By all means, this isn't to imply that it's ever a good thing to see pornographic imagery; ultimately avoiding porn (including softcore and revealing outfits from whores in public) is the key. So basically what I mean, even if you were to see it (and by it I mean whatever the stimuli is triggering you), it shouldn't be able grip you like it used to once you've repeatedly punished it. Some men may be tempted to "test" this but obviously it goes without saying that's foolish.
One thing about addiction that most peole don't seem to don't realize is that we build a sensitivity to the addiction stimuli, and a desensitivity to all other unrelated stimuli (like social interaction, goal setting, pair bonding, etc). This means even a heroin addict who shoots up regularly and has built a neurochemical tolerance/acclimation will continue to have an increasingly strong response to shooting up (even if the relative net neurochemical effect is smaller due to receptor downregulation), because the sensitization mechanism continues to build. It's really quite sinister because of how subtle this is and I'm not sure most people are aware of this.
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Watching pr0n funds the genocide in Gaza.
Several months ago I managed to get 98 days streak. Fortunately I did not experience any wet dreams at all or any other failures.
I experienced many benefits like more confidence, better strength and stamina, clearer mind etc. as described in many NoFap materials.
However I found out that every time I'm on a NoFap streak (starting from a week streak and further amplified the more days accumulated), I begin turning into an edgy / emo person like Kylo Ren. I begin experiencing anger and hate towards many things, in fact I have several times almost got in a fight because of my anger.
Now I relapsed every week or two not because I'm addicted to porn, but because I'm always turning into a Kylo Ren the more days gone by. At the peak of my anger physically I experienced pain at the top of my head and even my eyeballs hurts. When I relapsed the anger and hate went away and my mind becomes clear.
NoPorn / NoFap is supposed to heal you physically, mentally and spiritually. But in my case NoFap opened another set of problem which I don't know the solution to that.
I experienced many benefits like more confidence, better strength and stamina, clearer mind etc. as described in many NoFap materials.
However I found out that every time I'm on a NoFap streak (starting from a week streak and further amplified the more days accumulated), I begin turning into an edgy / emo person like Kylo Ren. I begin experiencing anger and hate towards many things, in fact I have several times almost got in a fight because of my anger.
Now I relapsed every week or two not because I'm addicted to porn, but because I'm always turning into a Kylo Ren the more days gone by. At the peak of my anger physically I experienced pain at the top of my head and even my eyeballs hurts. When I relapsed the anger and hate went away and my mind becomes clear.
NoPorn / NoFap is supposed to heal you physically, mentally and spiritually. But in my case NoFap opened another set of problem which I don't know the solution to that.
I would say get advice from a priest.
If one thing is clear in the modern world its that the enemy wants us to waste our seed and emasculate ourselves by masturbating. So its hardly surprising that you would be attacked by another temptation; in this case anger, and that the enemy will also suggest that falling back into this sin as a means to alleviate this other passion.
A good priest should be able to advise about less harmful ways to alleviate this anger. Usually when we have some temptation to sin in order to alleviate some other sinful state: for example eating too much because we feel depressed. Almost always it doesn't really work. You might enjoy it momentarily but when the pleasure swiftly passes you're back at square one. Are you going to jerk off every time you get angry? Or to somehow prevent it from building up? Seems like a pretty weak way to deal with it
Do you lift weights? What are you doing to channel that anger and extra energy? Do you understand why you're doing what you're doing? Personally what helped me (Glory to God, for the past 5 years or so I've only fell in my dreams) is that I saw myself as a weak person, no, not quite a person, a beastly senseless animal, for that's what I behaved like, and since I hated weakness, and am a proud, self-reliant person, it's what appealed to me. Examine what you're doing and gather a convincing reason why you're stopping.
True repentance consists of withdrawing from sin and nurturing hatred for it - St Ephrem the Syrian - (A Spiritual Psalter - pg 200)
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You are right, relapsing is never an excuse and never a solution. Anything is better than jerking off.
I lifted weights and played some sports with friends, but for unexplained reasons relapsing is the only surefire way to kill the anger and hate.
Maybe it is because I regularly take eurycoma longifolia and tribulus terrestris extract, and it has some side effects.
Maybe it is because lately I have been holding a grudge against Christ. I admit that I did not pray and only go to church when I feel it is necessary.
I think this is the only way. I will fast and pray more often as the solutions.
Not just regular fasting, but regular repentance, and regular Communion. These Sacraments are there for a reason. Orthodoxy is not a one-man show, where you try to "fix" yourself at home alone. I'm also curious why you feel it's necessary to take eurycoma longifolia and tribulus terrestris. Is there some valid medical reason? These are both known aphrodisiacs. You can't complain about high libido and how you can't control your urges, if you are deliberately taking aphrodisiacs. If you know they cause you to get angry or lose self-control, then stop taking them.
This is objectively nonsense.
The Holy Apostle Paul says "be angry and sin not"
The Holy Scriptures are never going to give us impossible instructions. The idea that you have to masturbate in order to relieve the anger you feel is absurd. Stop excusing yourself, its not the only way to kill the anger
Pray to the Lord and ask Him to take away your anger. That's the only solution I know which works.
Not being able to control anger is a sign of weakness. You should do some introspection and try to identify why you begin feeling anger. Perhaps you harbor some deep seated beliefs that cause you to feel this way. It is not possible to feel grateful and angry at the same time. Spend more time in the Word and continue to walk the Christian walk. Cultivate a character of gratitude. Remember that we are not entitled to anything and so we should be grateful for everything. Ask God to work that in you.
Why do you hold a grudge against Christ?
While people argue that masturbation is "natural" it is our fallen nature, not the way in which we are created in God's image and likeness. We were created to "be fruitful and multiply" not to masturbate.
Not trying to judge. I can relate to you, often after a few weeks or so I get really strong urges. I've caved in sometimes. However, I know it's wrong, and I am trying to work on it. What feeling do you get after masturbating? If your conscience doesn't agree with it, that is the part of you that is closer to God. The animalistic impulses are more akin to the demons, because they make us behave more like demons.