Sometimes you just have to move on right?

Caduceus said:
Your wife/girlfriend should never be your "best friend"
That sort of mindset always leads to problems in intimate relationships with women.
Setups with your wife/girlfriend always should be framed in a way where you are ultimately in charge even if you are taking into account to what she says.

Click to expand...

At a related caveat to this, and not to derail, but just a quick aside. This calls to mind also other roles that should not be categorized as "friends". For example, my mother or my sisters are NOT my friends. They are my mother and sisters (Not saying it's mutually exclusive, but rather that the mother/sister role is the primary/fundamental role in the relationship. It can be both. For me it certainly, absolutely is not.)

This is an important distinction. Pretending otherwise is just being dishonest and is going to lead to turmoil. I tried to explain this to one of my sisters. I said if we weren't siblings, you're the kind of person I'd never associate with and certainly wouldn't be friends with.

Of course she cried and tattled on me to others that I'm a meany. "So negative!" lol. No, it's just called being genuine and facing reality. Once we accept these facts it's easier to compromise and accommodate for disjointed behaviors/personality traits/activities.
 
Rax Moscow said:
It is no coincidence that every developed society throughout the world valued chastity until marriage. It is immeasurably better for both partners, but particularly the woman. I really do feel empathy for them, because so many of them are ruined, and there is really no salvaging their situation. If you understand that women do not truly have agency, then you also understand that this wasn't their fault, either. Sad state of affairs.

But yeah look at any old black and white film and see how the men behave. The idea of struggling or suffering or being in a "difficult" marriage was unimaginable. (Of course then, it was expected that the woman was either a virgin, or a widow, and in the latter case, she really needed a man even more and probably went above and beyond with her behavior and attitude.





Girls who view men this way still exist, outside the west. Maybe a few Amish ones too I guess.
Click to expand...

I had to listen to first clip a few times. I thought he said "cocaine first" lol. It's "coat came first". Idiot...

The butt smack at the end of that stupid dialogue was hilarious lol
 
TrainedLogosmotion said:
This is an important distinction. Pretending otherwise is just being dishonest and is going to lead to turmoil. I tried to explain this to one of my sisters. I said if we weren't siblings, you're the kind of person I'd never associate with and certainly wouldn't be friends with.
Click to expand...
Lol, I totally relate to the sentiment but I'd never outright say it to the person's face like that. That must've created a world of drama that lasted a couple days at least.

I completely agree. When there is shared blood, I think one should be willing to tolerate and forgive the overwhelming majority of things. It's frankly the right thing to do, and even from a purely materialist standpoint, it benefits you greatly in the long-run. But people you share no blood with, they can go be obnoxious someplace else.
 
Last edited:
Unending Powerhouse Match said:
Lol, I totally relate to the sentiment but I'd never outright say it to the person's face like that. That must've created a world of drama that lasted a couple days at least.

I completely agree. When there is shared blood, I think one should be willing to tolerate and forgive the overwhelming majority of things. It's frankly the right thing to do, and even from a purely materialist standpoint, it benefits you greatly in the long-run. But people you share no blood with, they can go be obnoxious someplace else.
Click to expand...
Yeah I shouldn't have done it like that but I'm kind of autistic and brutally honest and blunt. It shocks people sometimes.
 
I'm all for the mutual resolution of issues first between two adults, but if the situation is as dire as you described it, and you are scolded constantly on the whim of her mood, then she is openly disrespecting you as a man.

The question is, why are you letting her treat you this way?
 
TrainedLogosmotion said:
Yeah I shouldn't have done it like that but I'm kind of autistic and brutally honest and blunt. It shocks people sometimes.
Click to expand...

Damn dude, you should not have said that to your sister. You just wounded her in relation to you for the rest of her life. Maybe it'll wake her up too but that was harsh. This could come back on you decades down the line.

It could also work as tough love and make her consider changes. It's a toss-up, rolling the dice on that one.

Just brutal lol. :)
 
fortyfive said:
I'm all for the mutual resolution of issues first between two adults, but if the situation is as dire as you described it, and you are scolded constantly on the whim of her mood, then she is openly disrespecting you as a man.

The question is, why are you letting her treat you this way?
Click to expand...

I'm not perfect brother and I give as good as I get if not worse I'm not here saying that I'm innocent in it. The issue is that they stem from things which should have been nothing more than a dismissible understanding or perhaps simply choosing words more wisely.

But your point is valid I won't dismiss it.
 
Honestly if I was in a serious relationship with a woman and she groundlessly accused me of infidelity, the first time I would tell her it's not acceptable behavior and if it happened again I would walk out. You have to have firm boundaries with this kind of thing. Best of luck brother.
 
FrancisK said:
I'm not perfect brother and I give as good as I get if not worse I'm not here saying that I'm innocent in it. The issue is that they stem from things which should have been nothing more than a dismissible understanding or perhaps simply choosing words more wisely.

But your point is valid I won't dismiss it.
Click to expand...

Before resorting to costly solutions like silent war, building a frame, and trying to revert a probably improper power balance in your relationship, (all men are tired of playing these silly mind games, although they are necessary sometimes), I would try one thing that has helped me a couple of times.

Arrange a quiet place for a conversation where you both won't be distracted. Take time for it, don't have this talk in a busy restaurant or during a car drive, and don't do it when any of you are upset after a fight. It matters.

Then tell her calmly and openly that you are simply unhappy in this state of your relationship. Tell her your reasons, like being accused of serious wrongdoing or what the core of your unhappiness is. Don't use many words; don't dilute your message. Just plainly state the facts.

People are not mind readers, and there is a high chance that she doesn't know what's going on in your head.

Then, you will likely hear a tirade of reasons, excuses, explanations, and gaslighting.

Tell her again calmly that you understand her view, but yours is that you are unhappy. Tell her that her actions could be right and justified in her eyes, but they are not right in yours, and it makes you unhappy.

Explain to her that you cannot choose to be happy in this state, just as you cannot choose to like a certain food or music.
If you don't like, let's say, avocado, you cannot force yourself to like it because someone told you it is healthy and right.
Taste is inborn, the same as a condition that makes us happy.

That's all. You are unhappy, and this behavior is a reason.
Propose limiting seeing each other until it's resolved.

She will understand. Give her time, do nothing.
If she cares more about you than about her pride, she will at least try to stop doing these things.

If nothing changes or she acts even offended, then completely stop seeing her.
Don't do dramatic breakups, announcements, or anything stupid. Just walk away and live your normal life.

A happy relationship is a compromise where both parties have a piece of cake. Some people get it, and some don't. You will find out.
 
fortyfive said:
Before resorting to costly solutions like silent war, building a frame, and trying to revert a probably improper power balance in your relationship, (all men are tired of playing these silly mind games, although they are necessary sometimes), I would try one thing that has helped me a couple of times.

Arrange a quiet place for a conversation where you both won't be distracted. Take time for it, don't have this talk in a busy restaurant or during a car drive, and don't do it when any of you are upset after a fight. It matters.

Then tell her calmly and openly that you are simply unhappy in this state of your relationship. Tell her your reasons, like being accused of serious wrongdoing or what the core of your unhappiness is. Don't use many words; don't dilute your message. Just plainly state the facts.

People are not mind readers, and there is a high chance that she doesn't know what's going on in your head.

Then, you will likely hear a tirade of reasons, excuses, explanations, and gaslighting.

Tell her again calmly that you understand her view, but yours is that you are unhappy. Tell her that her actions could be right and justified in her eyes, but they are not right in yours, and it makes you unhappy.

Explain to her that you cannot choose to be happy in this state, just as you cannot choose to like a certain food or music.
If you don't like, let's say, avocado, you cannot force yourself to like it because someone told you it is healthy and right.
Taste is inborn, the same as a condition that makes us happy.

That's all. You are unhappy, and this behavior is a reason.
Propose limiting seeing each other until it's resolved.

She will understand. Give her time, do nothing.
If she cares more about you than about her pride, she will at least try to stop doing these things.

If nothing changes or she acts even offended, then completely stop seeing her.
Don't do dramatic breakups, announcements, or anything stupid. Just walk away and live your normal life.

A happy relationship is a compromise where both parties have a piece of cake. Some people get it, and some don't. You will find out.
Click to expand...

A short quick hard slap on the cheek (open palm only) when she steps too far out of line will work much better than this.
You will get a very shocked look, 1 or 2 hours of silent treatment, and later in the night the best making up "intimacy" you ever got.
 
Caduceus said:
A short quick hard slap on the cheek (open palm only) when she steps too far out of line will work much better than this.
You will get a very shocked look, 1 or 2 hours of silent treatment, and later in the night the best making up "intimacy" you ever got.
Click to expand...
But then you open yourself up to the possibility that she calls the cops and you end up in a cage, no?
 
Caduceus said:
If she's calling the cops for 1 short slap on the cheek you do not want to be with such a girl.
Click to expand...
I'm saying that the fact this is a thing women can do now, makes it so that it's never a good idea to slap them. I agree on principle with the idea of using a slap when it's necessary, but it's just not feasible today. Corporal punishment in general is just a fundamentally good idea imo, but all of it is now super illegal.
 
Unending Powerhouse Match said:
I'm saying that the fact this is a thing women can do now, makes it so that it's never a good idea to slap them. I agree on principle with the idea of using a slap when it's necessary, but it's just not feasible today. Corporal punishment in general is just a fundamentally good idea imo, but all of it is now super illegal.
Click to expand...

Read all the comments made by females posted under this YouTube video

 
Caduceus said:
Read all the comments made by females posted under this YouTube video

Click to expand...

Yes. A lot of women also like 50 shades of grey. Women have this stuff in all of their disgusting fetish material, this is well-known. They have these fantasies. But in real life, if you slap a woman for acting like a stupid retard, you will very likely get a very different response, because you're actually hurting her satanic pride by trying to assert your authority, which can anger her in a very extreme way. On top of this, women are aware that becoming an "abuse survivor" and going around telling people that they "survived your abuse" will bring them a lot of perks and validation. Look, I'm not trying to tell anyone how to live, but it's not a gamble I'd take.
 
Caduceus said:
A short quick hard slap on the cheek (open palm only) when she steps too far out of line will work much better than this.
You will get a very shocked look, 1 or 2 hours of silent treatment, and later in the night the best making up "intimacy" you ever got.
Click to expand...
What fortyfive said is probably the safest route because what OP is asking for is very reasonable and it should not be a huge ask. So if it is met with a large amount of resistance it can bring you to the closure you need if you see the other party does not want to or cant treat you with the same love and good faith you give them. It would be clearly stated and clearly answered positively or negatively.

i posted it more for comedic relief rather than a serious suggestion, i hope no one employs it as a serious strategy in a troubled relationship.

I wish i had gotten the advice to thoroughly talk it over a few more times before ending some of my previous relationships
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top