Sometimes you just have to move on right?

[ginsu]

@FrancisK you have my respect for sharing this in such detail, and for addressing and considering a varied array of feedback with courage and humility. I look forward to reading about the next chapter as you move forward, step by step. I wish you all the best.

Hey guys its francisK here another update its been 12 months now since the last relationship im with a religious girl from a third world country now everything is going well she never argues and things are peacefull !. Something like this.

 

[FrancisK]

I returned to this thread to read through it again for some much needed strength as I'm having a very hard time fighting weakness and it has helped tremendously.

I want tell all of you again that I'm humbled by your words and support, I owe all of you a debt of thanks that I hope to repay by being a good and better Brother in Christ to all of you. This has been the most difficult thing I have ever faced and all of you have given me strength.

Thank you sincerely brothers, each one of you.

 

[SkiPro]

Not surprising that your marriage succeeded. As we all know for marriage to succeed you need to marry a young, virgin, non-western woman, otherwise its doomed to failure from the start.

Marriages succeed until they don't.

 

[Shaquilleoatmeal]

Last night we got into it and in the course of that I told her she always accuses me of cheating. She flipped out when I told her that saying she had NEVER accused me of cheating. Mind you two weeks prior we had fought because I had to work late and she accused me of being with someone else! I called her out on this and apparently to her this wasn't accusing me of cheating, my head wanted to explode. But it all makes sense to me now, anything she says or does that is bad or cruel in her mind it wasn't actually that. In her mind it was positive and fine, everything is always positive and fine and that's just how it always has to be in her head so she'll never see any of my reasoning as to how she was treating me and was wrong for doing that to me. I don't think it makes her a bad person but I'll just never get anywhere with her, everything will always be a battle because anything she says or does will always be positive in her mind even when it's not, it's actually cruel and condescending. No reasoning or logic I will ever provide to show her that she is wrong will matter, her words and actions are always positive in her mind even when they are very obviously not. Not positive as in she's always right and I'm always wrong, positive as in her own words were just never bad....they were positive things and okay as she had taught herself to always be positive.

I don't think it makes her a bad person

I think this does make her a bad person. She is lying to herself and she ends up treating you like garbage because of it. She has a bad case of the rationalization hamster.

I think you could learn a lesson from this though; this woman was a bit cuckoo upstairs and you dodged a bullet. If you’re honest with yourself unlike she was you would realize this and be able to move on to the next woman.

 

[FrancisK]

I think this does make her a bad person. She is lying to herself and she ends up treating you like garbage because of it. She has a bad case of the rationalization hamster.

I think you could learn a lesson from this though; this woman was a bit cuckoo upstairs and you dodged a bullet. If you’re honest with yourself unlike she was you would realize this and be able to move on to the next woman.

Thank you brother as much as I don't want it to be true I have to agree with you, there were other things that happened after all of this that showed me a lot as well. Being able to make something okay in your head which is definitely not okay to someone you supposedly love is a really hurtful trait.