Yeah the more women I meet, the more I'm seeing how important it is that they're a virgin. They have a very different (in a good way) personality. More trustworthy and pleasant to talk to.
I don't mean to put this on men, I guess my post was weighted in that direction because I am speaking from the perspective of a man, and trying to work out what we as men can do in the situation we find ourselves. But I am not trying to put forth a 'really feminism is men's fault' argument. The way I look at it is that I am a man, there are a limited range of things I can do, and most of these fall into the category of repenting for my part in things, and trying to not have a 'slot machine' notion about it, but to do it genuinely, and to try to get to a place in my faith where I can accept whatever happens to me, and hopefully heal the damage that I see I have done to myself. I am not saying 'it's men's fault for using dating apps', but rather 'within the realm of things that I have responsibility for, I did use these apps, and one thing I can do is repent for this, and try to correct the skewed vision of women that I ended up with as a result.' Many many women have a lot of things to take responsibility for, but I don't have any influence in this besides prayer. All I can do is look in the mirror.I think you may be younger than I am but the number of years you "spent on the apps" isn't small so maybe you aren't much younger. The "genuine repentance" thing is a difficult one to discern, I agree with you, and I think that's more related (private opinion here) in general to the inclination to sex being strong for procreative reasons. There are a few things going on here that perhaps I'm indifferent to and its a failing of mine, but I think about it slightly differently. I was focused on many other things and went a long time before I even ventured into any acting out phase, so by that point my view is that there is no justification for any behavior, but historically speaking the activity, if we're being honest, was already with women who had nothing to "lose" at that point. That's why I think it's sort of ridiculous to keep putting this on men, and a majority of men to boot, since it is really the setup and the leaders that allowed the culture, not someone born in the last 50 years even. I didn't really end any more real connection I had with a small number of women, circumstances of their choosing or background/cultural/religious differences did. Forgive me, but the rest were already on the end of the spectrum of prostitutes, which is what even dating app girls are, if we think about what women are and should be in a historical perspective. Men can only sleep with women, for example, if women allow it, so the real issue is the woman that is generally dumb enough in the west to listen to the debased society and not family or smart men, and act like a guy 2 points or more higher than her is going to stick around. Uh, no. You don't go girl.
We all know this, but it has to be stated again: you only get that behavior when you give women jobs and promote careers. That way, they look at to "have fun" in cities while working and you don't incentive going out to find a man and make a family. This really isn't difficult to understand, but the modern egalitarian nonsense, and probably some fathers not liking the idea of their daughters marrying a guy who then leads her, made it more and more problematic.
There may be some people on the internet that act or think like this, but I don't, especially because I complain about the camp that also says "Pray to God and he'll give you a wife". Or the better (impossible to counter) "he'll give you a wife if it is for your salvation." I guess you'll tell me that at the end of my life, right?
The men turning up to church, by the way, are taking great steps and strides, and a lot have inherited issues and definitely a society that hasn't done anything to help their plight. They have a lot of things to work on. I don't know if you know my posts historically, but I'm not talking about these men when I complain/talk about the wife thing in the USA. If anyone has been paying attention at all, by the way, all you will see (and this is getting "worse" from a numbers point of view or disparity) is young men, barely any young women that aren't but maybe 14 or 15. That's the issue, of course, so it sounds like yes it is an issue of young women, Lawrence.
As above, that's why I'm not into this thinking and also find it almost insulting to say that you should pray for a wife in the sense that if you do it'll happen magically. You should pray and be faithful, for its own sake, of course. But the simpletons in life, and this is even with many Orthodox, act like they have some understanding about what is going on, when in reality I see that it's cycles and largely the world is indifferent historically about any given thing that a human, or group, thinks that is important. I'm OK with that. I just hate people talking about "doing the work" and when you do and even accomplish things, there is little around so they then start distracting to other topics, rather than talk about the one at hand (everyone is competing over a crazy small portion of women, who are worse than ever in pretty much every way, yes because they've been told to do that - I get it).
If you doubt any of this, just look at the run of guys from the 1950-1970s that got married at early 20s, even with age gaps and had kids with normal women. I have no issue with them, I'm just pointing out that very few of these guys were any better in any way, or more faithful, or whatever you want to say, than many men I know currently for 20 years. Them's the facts. We need to cut the BS every once in a while, and that's why I'm here.
But that's exactly what I do. I do it here, and I do it in real life. I tell people, eschew the apps. Plan, make some cash so you feel like you can pull this off, and leave. Go overseas. I tell that to people who still desire a relationship with a woman and haven't given up on that. That's advice and it's telling men to take action. That should be applauded, in my view.
My posts are clear as day on this. I know a lot of people don't like Cappy/Clarey for complaining a lot, but when I've heard him he has come to the same conclusions I have: Go overseas, because things won't change enough anytime soon for anything to matter for you, if you are a man from 20s to 40s right now. Sad to admit, but true.
This whole post is spot on, and what I've been saying for some time. The bolded is the really sad reality, and it's an inversion yet again; it's women with age that should be looked on with suspicion. It's as though, by the way, the women who think we might be a bad influence have zero clue that a normal put together man wouldn't put up with the quality of woman that is generally out there. Weird times.
This. It all comes back to male leadership. If even 18 year old college freshmen knew in the back of her mind that if she ever wants that dream wedding she's always dreamed of, she can't get run through for the next four years in college, she'd change her behavior real quick. On the flip side, men think they can have unlimited amounts of no-strings attached sex, then "settle down" with the right one.
Maybe you can work out a valid aproach for both type of men and i think most of it has been discussed already. I respect not wanting to move abroad because you do not want to abandon your family or your community. The only thing i do not like about moving abroad is being far away from my family and it is a major negative. But the way i see it is that if things ever get so bad that they also start to want to leave i will have a place ready for them to escape to.
Not really. In reality, most don't even have this option.
What about them?
Yes.
Indeed. This may not be easy for some to deal with, still others might cope with it different ways, or they might just try not to think about it, but there it is, still staring at you - or all of us, whatever.
Possible. If one is tall, in good shape, and has major resources, professionalism or upside, isn't 2 points down a hard sell? The issue that people keep denying or conveniently "forgetting" is that youth/fertility/beauty is #1 for men, and attractiveness is accommodative or additive with ALL male characteristics. They are not even in the same ballpark.
At this point any man from the west needs to be top 1% to get a traditional wife (defined as young, attractive, virgin, submissive to the man, traditional, etc). Guys in third world countries can get away with merely being in the top 20% in their own countries and find a traditional woman. But a western guy must be top 1% and move to another country. Because all things being equal a traditional woman would rather marry a local guy who is a 7 than a foreign guy who is objectively an 8 because of the culture differences, etc so as a foreign guy you are discounted and have to be very high value (top 1%) to land a traditional wife in a third world country.
You totally ignored my whole point. "white" is not even a race. And for example a lot of Spanish people might have a mix of Iberian genetics, north African genetics and Arab genetics due to the countries history. A lot of Brazilian people for example might have a mixture of European, Asian, African and middle eastern genetics. People are generally speaking not the result of their own kin. Most countries are already race mixed to a large degree. Unless you are talking about highly homogeneous countries which are the minority.
Latinas can very much be white.
Enough with the black pilling. We know it's bad in the West but saying you have to be top 1% is ridiculous. At my parish and elsewhere there are multiple guys I've met with good wives and they are not top 1%. Top 10% maybe, but that's an order of magnitude greater.
