The Approach Question (AQ)

I don't think the fake it until you make it stuff really works. The cliche is "be yourself" but the process of knowing yourself and becoming yourself, becoming comfortable who you are and in your own skin, takes a long time to develop (or at least it did for me). If you're naturally outgoing and have low anxiety, i.e. if you're a Chad or Chad-light it will be easier both to be yourself and to approach (but if that was the case for you you probably wouldn't need to ask for advice here).
 
JR5 said:
I don't think the fake it until you make it stuff really works. The cliche is "be yourself" but the process of knowing yourself and becoming yourself, becoming comfortable who you are and in your own skin, takes a long time to develop (or at least it did for me). If you're naturally outgoing and have low anxiety, i.e. if you're a Chad or Chad-light it will be easier both to be yourself and to approach (but if that was the case for you you probably wouldn't need to ask for advice here).
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The bigger issue is the effort and ROI for people you know are in the matrix, to be honest. But some here probably don't have that high of expectations as others, so that could be the case. That guy hoemath is a sensation now because he shows how much tech has friend people's brains and how women are worse at believing pics/tech/social cues that are mostly, or nearly all, lies.
 
I think in general its best to put yourself in situations where approaching others is not unusual, like being at coffee hour after church. Then the how becomes less of a question, you just go up and say "hello, I've not seen you here before" and introduce yourself. If you want to meet people put yourself in situations where it occurs organically. It's also something you can practise in these situations even if you have no attraction to them. Getting used to talking to people and engaging in social interactions, overcoming initial awkwardness etc is something you can develop.

If you are going to go around interrupting people in situations where its less common to approach, don't be an autist. Have self awareness, and pick up on cues.
 
Blade Runner said:
The bigger issue is the effort and ROI for people you know are in the matrix, to be honest. But some here probably don't have that high of expectations as others, so that could be the case. That guy hoemath is a sensation now because he shows how much tech has friend people's brains and how women are worse at believing pics/tech/social cues that are mostly, or nearly all, lies.
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The hoemath guy gets it. Most men unless they are super attractive are completely invisible to modern broken women. Not even viewed as human by most of them.
 
OldSchoolCatholic said:
The hoemath guy gets it. Most men unless they are super attractive are completely invisible to modern broken women. Not even viewed as human by most of them.
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He does a good job. I think the only thing he doesn't stress enough or get is that women and men are hard to compare on the number scale in the sense that women who are high numbers are only really that 8,9,10 (of course 10 doesn't exist) at ages 16-23. While men drop off over time, their money only goes up if they are desirable at all, and their physical doesn't significantly change, nor does it matter as much to women in general.
 
staddlelateen said:
No, I mean what's your age (it's going to be a number).
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Answers twenny wan (not a number)))) (((((like a boss)))))).

But no I don't like telling internet weirdos my age. You're gonna have to suffice with above eighteen and below twenty one. Most people in person think I'm around twenty three however, on first glance, which is a bit worrying but not really.
 
God's lonely asperger said:
Answers twenny wan (not a number)))) (((((like a boss)))))).

But no I don't like telling internet weirdos my age. You're gonna have to suffice with above eighteen and below twenty one. Most people in person think I'm around twenty three however, on first glance, which is a bit worrying but not really.
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Hey there are no internet weirdos on CiK!
 
God's lonely asperger said:
Answers twenny wan (not a number)))) (((((like a boss)))))).

But no I don't like telling internet weirdos my age. You're gonna have to suffice with above eighteen and below twenty one. Most people in person think I'm around twenty three however, on first glance, which is a bit worrying but not really.
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I only ask because my advice will depend on how old you are. If you have a great relationship with your father, have you asked him for his advice? If so, what did he say?
 
God's lonely asperger said:
Answers twenny wan (not a number)))) (((((like a boss)))))).

But no I don't like telling internet weirdos my age. You're gonna have to suffice with above eighteen and below twenty one. Most people in person think I'm around twenty three however, on first glance, which is a bit worrying but not really.
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Ill give you some Sam Hyde advice.

Forget about girls, you are YOUNG. Put yourself out there more, realize you are going to be awkward because you don't have much experience socializing. Why would you really expect to get good results at something you suck at? No offense meant here at all, but you have time and space to learn social skills.

More importantly you need to build skills that other men value and society needs. Pair that with social skills and you will be set when you are older and actually have the means to start a family.

Remaining chaste and learning to control lust will be key when your future wife gets old and wonky from pregnancy anyways.

Best of luck, don't overthink it, get in the gym.
 
SeaEagle said:
Ill give you some Sam Hyde advice.

Forget about girls, you are YOUNG. Put yourself out there more, realize you are going to be awkward because you don't have much experience socializing. Why would you really expect to get good results at something you suck at? No offense meant here at all, but you have time and space to learn social skills.

More importantly you need to build skills that other men value and society needs. Pair that with social skills and you will be set when you are older and actually have the means to start a family.

Remaining chaste and learning to control lust will be key when your future wife gets old and wonky from pregnancy anyways.

Best of luck, don't overthink it, get in the gym.
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Yes, at that age, a young man has untold amounts of energy that will never be replicated the older he gets. HIs brain is still malleable and can learn very quickly. He has the freedom to take risks, as he doesn't need to worry about a wife, children, or elderly parents. If I were 20 years again, I would dedicate all my energy and time to being an entrepreneur. I would be spending all my time networking and starting up a new business every week.
 
God's lonely asperger said:
To take my meds and maybe add a third shower to my daily routine.
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Despite what Jewish Hollywood tells you, sarcasm isn't a good trait. Nothing will alienate you further from women than sarcasm. Move in the other direction, which is honesty and authenticity. Additionally, if you truly have a good relationship with your father, ask him about this topic. If he's a good man, he will be more than happy to have a conversation with you. It's always better to receive advice from people who care about you than strangers.
 
staddlelateen said:
Despite what Jewish Hollywood tells you, sarcasm isn't a good trait. Nothing will alienate you further from women than sarcasm.
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Worse than sarcasm is being so tone deaf you bring up "le Jews, le Jewywood" whenever the truth is said. But enough about this forum.

staddlelateen said:
Additionally, if you truly have a good relationship with your father, ask him about this topic. If he's a good man, he will be more than happy to have a conversation with you. It's always better to receive advice from people who care about you than strangers.
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It's been a topic of reflection. My father always gave downright terrible advice, and it's only getting worse as the brainwashing of just opening a TV gets worse and worse.

Outside of direct family, yeah pretty much no one really cares about me. It's a truly realistic blackpill I took at least 1 or 2 years ago, but it is what it is.
It gets so bad that I am told the psychiatrist actually cares about his patients, yet at the same time, I get psychiatric advice from a new shrink every time keywords or non-normalfag behavior is expressed.
 
SeaEagle said:
Ill give you some Sam Hyde advice.

Forget about girls, you are YOUNG. Put yourself out there more, realize you are going to be awkward because you don't have much experience socializing. Why would you really expect to get good results at something you suck at? No offense meant here at all, but you have time and space to learn social skills.

More importantly you need to build skills that other men value and society needs. Pair that with social skills and you will be set when you are older and actually have the means to start a family.

Remaining chaste and learning to control lust will be key when your future wife gets old and wonky from pregnancy anyways.

Best of luck, don't overthink it, get in the gym.
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Good advice. In ancient Rome men in their early 20s were basically considered mentally ill or unstable and needed another cosigner for important legal/financial decisions. Good news for a young guy is that from your 20s to 40s (or even later but I'm not there yet), you only improve with the exception of physical recovery. There's no do or die rush, but it's important to use that time and energy while you've got it. There's a number of valid directions you could go depending on what your goals are.
 
God's lonely asperger said:
Answers twenny wan (not a number)))) (((((like a boss)))))).

But no I don't like telling internet weirdos my age. You're gonna have to suffice with above eighteen and below twenty one. Most people in person think I'm around twenty three however, on first glance, which is a bit worrying but not really.
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Hey man...cut it out. You're asking us for advice.

People are coming to help you. So if you dont want to answer a specific thing, just say I'm early 20s and stop being a tard about it.

You don't like saying your age but you'll go on about a shrink and bad advice with your dad? Seems to not compute.

If you don't want to be a lost cause due to your own behavior... Refer to earlier advice.

BE LIKE Travis Buckle pre Mohawk... (Just don't pick up any 15 year olds)
 
Get2choppaaa said:
Hey man...cut it out. You're asking us for advice.

People are coming to help you. So if you dont want to answer a specific thing, just say I'm early 20s and stop being a tard about it.

You don't like saying your age but you'll go on about a shrink and bad advice with your dad? Seems to not compute.

If you don't want to be a lost cause due to your own behavior... Refer to earlier advice.

BE LIKE Travis Buckle pre Mohawk... (Just don't pick up any 15 year olds)
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Your post is thoughtful and sensible.

I can relate to him since I behaved similarly when I was his age: sarcastic, defensive, and challenging to interact with. My active engagement in trolling others stemmed from low self-esteem. Consequently, I recognize a part of my younger self in him and feel a desire to assist. However, my current busy schedule leaves me with little time or patience to engage with someone who seems to be provoking me intentionally.
 
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