It is serious. But just remember, even Jesus dropped His cross. And God will be there to help us pick it back up again.
Monk Mode Celibacy
- Thread starter TrainedLogosmotion
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It is serious. But just remember, even Jesus dropped His cross. And God will be there to help us pick it back up again.
I think we win both ways moving ahead. There's something coming for us, and if we survive we survive to help other people, men and women alike. If we die, perhaps we get to see our Lord and hopefully, he'll accept us for the nonsense we had to go through, even though I must say He has given me many great things in my life ...
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Orthodox Ethos posted this
I think the point he makes about if you are a slave to passions it basically means you haven't got your house in order as a man is a good one. Very motivating. It flips the secular picture on its head, worldly men will say "a man has to coom" but actually if he abuses himself he is also emasculating himself by renouncing his sovereignty over his flesh.
I think the point he makes about if you are a slave to passions it basically means you haven't got your house in order as a man is a good one. Very motivating. It flips the secular picture on its head, worldly men will say "a man has to coom" but actually if he abuses himself he is also emasculating himself by renouncing his sovereignty over his flesh.
Perhaps this is for a different thread but I think I posted at least a reference to the announcement on the last forum of the Ancient Faith Orthodox singles event. It makes me think of the orthodox and single website, which was a valiant effort but looking back (I remembering emailing the guy that did it and he even got a donor to help his ministry out) the issue is always the same: online. This is years ago, and even back then there were very few people who weren't 35-45 (women) and for some reason there were spam accounts to the tune of at least 30%; even males in the section where you might peruse "women". I can't blame the site director, like I said, but the issue was always a type of trust. Should I pay even $5 to message with old women I don't know? Will the 20 somethings even log in if they are inundated with messages by all the guys, since so few are "good looking". I'm sad to state these realities but it ends up being just as much an American issue as it is Orthodox. It'd almost be better if it had a purely international subscription, since you aren't going to meet unless you're really serious. But then you'd worry about catfish, of course.
In any case, I'm betting the AF singles thing (which I just read was single: single, divorced and/or widowed), which is a few hundred bucks and at Antiochian village, will be more of the same. I'm not trying to dissuade anyone from going by posting this, by the way. Are we essentially an echo chamber here though? I think the density of the culture and the older people is beyond repair. Regardless of this being an echo chamber or not, we do know at least we're not crazy, because in other countries things like age gaps and family formation are totally different and not taboo. There has to be a better way than flying across the country on a lark. My sense is that rich parents should be sending their daughters on such trips to meet good men, but I think we all know that won't happen. It's sorta funny to think about, in that it's likely that we just have to accept how brainless or rather clueless, this generation and the last 2 are.
In any case, I'm betting the AF singles thing (which I just read was single: single, divorced and/or widowed), which is a few hundred bucks and at Antiochian village, will be more of the same. I'm not trying to dissuade anyone from going by posting this, by the way. Are we essentially an echo chamber here though? I think the density of the culture and the older people is beyond repair. Regardless of this being an echo chamber or not, we do know at least we're not crazy, because in other countries things like age gaps and family formation are totally different and not taboo. There has to be a better way than flying across the country on a lark. My sense is that rich parents should be sending their daughters on such trips to meet good men, but I think we all know that won't happen. It's sorta funny to think about, in that it's likely that we just have to accept how brainless or rather clueless, this generation and the last 2 are.
We have to work with how things are, not how they ought to be.
Good points. Father Peter always does a good job explaining even difficult topics with a really high calling. Just as a personal speculation or opinion, I think people of the older ages and those married have generally less awareness of how this kind of thing was all around for the younger generation and is constant in its bombardment. He does mention that this affects married persons (men and women I presume, but more men of course), which of course is sad, but we also live in times when men are paid much less mind overall than ever before. What's more, a lot of men are very active and their 20s weren't filled with remembrances of a wife, any sex at all for a lot of men, and all these combos make them think about sex even more than any older or married man ever did, or will.
Apart from monk mode, I don't see a real solution here, sadly. The reason I say sadly is because I think so few can or will take that cross on. When you come to the knowlege of how little effort women want to put in to be a part of anyone's life, you see how you can easily be looking into an island or desert existence for a long, long time. If this is the way God is going to save us, so be it. And Lord, have mercy.
I just callz'em as I seez'em
I agree, but I have to laugh or I'd be crying. The onslaught now will be from old, single women who will complain more than we ever did, or will, here.
Nah, online dating has always been low value low success chance. Best way to meet women is through the Church, being a Good Neighbor and befriending all. Eventually an older woman will introduce you to her younger single niece, or you will meet a young maiden yourself. That is the best way, has worked for thousands of years.
It's a terrible method to get laid, but an excellent method if you want marriage.
All these things you mentioned are right and true spot on. Being busy is very important but I find that when Im TOO busy with work and family and going to bed very late and waking up very early, them Im too tiered and sleepy to read and pray as I should, the sleep deprevation and exhaustion to me also leads to temptation compared to when Im well rested and in a good frame of mind, even when I fall ill I noticed its during times I go to bed too late and wake up too early, lack of sleep
I have made a lot of progress since my recent struggles. I feel like I have learned a fair bit.
Firstly I think the struggle was directly related to abandoning the fast. The enemy came at me hard during that time in all kinds of ways, including the temptations that are the focus of this thread. Whilst there are certain allowances, such as someone preparing food and they didn't know you are fasting, if you decide to abandon a fast and you have no prior blessing it can lead to big problems.
Since deciding to get out of the rut I was in, I have gone to confession weekly and if I wasn't prepared for Holy Communion I just abstained, but still confessed. I also prepared for these confessions by making an examination of my conscience before bed each day and writing down everything that I felt I needed to confess. This has been a big help and I intend to continue.
The pattern when I have fallen in the past is to feel that I have made myself unclean and I would refrain from confession until the guilt had died down and it felt easier to do it. Developing the intention to confess regularly has been a motivating factor when I have had temptations. I guess it is the same as having an accountability partner but much more spiritually potent.
I think if others reading this have that pattern of falling and then hiding from confession until the shame dies down, I'd suggest trying, if possible, to confess as regularly as you are able. Instead of ashamedly and vaguely confessing it weeks or even months after the fact, if you're going to confess it make sure your priest knows it was in the past week. Don't let shame delay your confession, and you will start putting the enemy to shame instead. Confession is usually linked with Holy Communion but you don't have to partake if you want to confess but cannot prepare for Communion. If your priest is willing, suggest that it will help you in your struggle and give it a try. If you don't have an accountability partner, I think it serves the same function and then some.
Firstly I think the struggle was directly related to abandoning the fast. The enemy came at me hard during that time in all kinds of ways, including the temptations that are the focus of this thread. Whilst there are certain allowances, such as someone preparing food and they didn't know you are fasting, if you decide to abandon a fast and you have no prior blessing it can lead to big problems.
Since deciding to get out of the rut I was in, I have gone to confession weekly and if I wasn't prepared for Holy Communion I just abstained, but still confessed. I also prepared for these confessions by making an examination of my conscience before bed each day and writing down everything that I felt I needed to confess. This has been a big help and I intend to continue.
The pattern when I have fallen in the past is to feel that I have made myself unclean and I would refrain from confession until the guilt had died down and it felt easier to do it. Developing the intention to confess regularly has been a motivating factor when I have had temptations. I guess it is the same as having an accountability partner but much more spiritually potent.
I think if others reading this have that pattern of falling and then hiding from confession until the shame dies down, I'd suggest trying, if possible, to confess as regularly as you are able. Instead of ashamedly and vaguely confessing it weeks or even months after the fact, if you're going to confess it make sure your priest knows it was in the past week. Don't let shame delay your confession, and you will start putting the enemy to shame instead. Confession is usually linked with Holy Communion but you don't have to partake if you want to confess but cannot prepare for Communion. If your priest is willing, suggest that it will help you in your struggle and give it a try. If you don't have an accountability partner, I think it serves the same function and then some.
Yes, but many women are inundated with simps, and many men inundated with old women who don't think they're old. If you value youth at all, the developed world becomes a bridge certainly too far.
This is what I said in the other thread too. It bears repeating because the only way you get young women (catch 22) is if they are a small number of women who view things correctly and don't get distracted = finding and rewarding men who will ascend. I think the issue then a lot of times for people of european descent, it's that these women are mostly spoiled so you only get good behavior from other races women, who of course on average prefer europeans if they can get them. But that's another catch 22 when children and family are the next consideration or natural progression.
I'm surprised I didn't get any comments on this. Am I too negative on this topic or is it that we just all understand this reality?
My guess is no one replied because very few have any idea what you are talking about. What Ancient Faith singles event? Link? What is a few hundred bucks at Antiochian Village? Totally lost reading your post, no offense.
I'm not telling you to do anything but if you type ancient faith singles antiochian village in any search query it comes up instantly. That seems as easy or easier to do than replying with more words. No offense here either, but we're all typing lots of words here and replying with time to boot, so I've always found it strange that people ask for links they can find very easily being internet savvy as we all are. Nothing esoteric or hard to find, but I've noticed a spoon feeding thing occasionally on the forum I find bizarre.
Honestly, I had never heard of such a thing in my life, so even had I searched for it I wasn't sure I'd find what you are talking about. Ancient Faith is also the name of a website not affiliated with Antiochian Village, so I wanted to make sure we were talking about the same thing:
That said, yes, this doesn't sound too appealing, and indeed carries the fallacy of matching men and women via strict age groups. 30+ also makes it sound like it could be ages 50 and up there too. I hope everyone who goes finds love, but it looks like it would carry many of the problems inherent to any other form of dating. At least you know if she goes there, she is serious about her faith, so that is something.
Women under 30 wouldn't need such events, of course, so I feel like such singles events are for older women who no longer attract men as easily. Young women will always have suitors, within or without the Church, so therefore if a man wants a younger woman he needs to look elsewhere.
The options for gaining a young wife nowadays are tough, you either Church hop until you find a maiden, or you do the missionary dating thing and try to convert a pagan. Both ways very difficult. Pray to the Lord, do your best, and don't worry about the rest.
If was 45+ and single, I might consider the Singles Retreat, but otherwise I don't think so. If I ran the Antiochian Village, I'd make it so women under 30 get a free ride: plane ticket, room, board, and other expenses covered by the Church/Village.
I always thought about calling in to one of the AF hosted shows and asking them directly about feminism and its foothold in the culture and thus, even in Orthodox churches in America. My default presumption, if they even took the call, would be the same soft stepping deflection or distraction from the reality, though I think someone like Fr. Stephen DY might tackle question, but only because he doesn't appear to have children and he's pretty critical about how the only chance for community left in America is at a parish level.
I'm curious as to what you and others think about the refusal of Orthodox clergy (in America, I'm sure this doesn't happen in other countries but it likely doesn't have to given their culture grounding and tradition) to directly address the issue of women and modernity. Is it that they are men who don't want to be hassled by parishioners? Don't want to deal with their wives questions or complaints about saying something? Deep down they are competitive men like all others, and with age just don't care about other men and family formation? The reason why I ask is because it seems like a pretty big whiff for Orthodox people to not address a major issue in family formation, which is the only thing that'll keep the faith going, quite literally - especially from those who might be considered its higher quality participants or devoted ones - rather than fly by night, convenience or social club types.
In some sense the clergy we have at the moment probably aren't that clued in on what is going on to a full extent. They are usually older, married, probably always been Christian or at least have been for some time. They might not really have encountered to a full extent what it is like "out there". I think that will likely change because there is an influx of converts who are directly experiencing and have been affected by the situation in this regard. In some sense I imagine being Orthodox, and directing a parish might cause you to lose sight of what is going on out there, until it starts directly entering into the parish. The 30 something male convert who went through the mill of the secular lifestyle is probably quite a new thing, at least in the numbers we are starting to see.
Also the kind of woman, who is degrading society, is precisely not the kind of woman whom a parish priest at an Orthodox church is going to hear confessions from. A priest is usually pretty busy, and their sphere of concern might legitimately not touch this issue, at least not until it comes within the parish walls. I think we will start to see it more. It also might be the case that priests who are aware, for one reason or another discern that it is not profitable to speak about it.
I mentioned this a while back when I projected there will be loads of younger men that they can't deny and keep blaming with some dumb analysis, when so few young women are even around.
I think sadly this is more common than people realize. They don't want to address real issues because it will garner real (feminist modernist) blowback.
By the way, I think there are more priests who are older with kids that have to realize on some level even the middle aged Americans or their kids are pretty screwy.
Additionally, there will be some changes in the slow information that's obvious, likely due to greater stresses in life with the financial system, geopolitics/war, and increasing mortality for all of these reasons. The problem is that the writing has been on the wall and it should have been front and center before covscam, but the "good times" were rolling, so no one cared. And boomers/older aren't dying off in huge numbers yet, either.