Game-like tactics for Christian Relationships?

[canuckj]

One thing I have thought a lot about is whether there is a need for men to learn strategies for relationships. I don’t mean playing games or manipulating women but rather having some solid tactics and strategies.

I was never into “game” or the PUA world but they taught some things that were used to help men achieve a (unholy) goal. Is there a parallel for Godly relationships and can we share these tactics to help each other achieve a holy purpose (matrimony)?

I guess the type of things I am referring to would be tactics for being charming, getting a woman to see you as a valuable man who has options and won’t wait around for her, not appearing needy, etc. I know many of us are nice, decent men who fall head over heels in love with a woman but does that signal that we are just safe, boring guys without options? Anyway these just my thoughts.

 

[Uncle Cr33pin]

 

[God's lonely asperger]

One has to question and know the interactions between Machiavellianism and Christianity, to know this type of stuff. Reading the original work, The Prince, after the dust settled, you have questions on what is immoral Machiavellianism, and if there would even be a moral Machiavellianism like "game-like", so to speak. Bizarre book as it was absorbed into almost all positions of power, in a sort of unspoken way.

Glad this thread idea alone is here. "Game" and "Christian" in the same sentence would undoubtedly cause an almost immediate disappearance or lock on the old forum, without much discussion. Case in point, post above me that just loaded.

 

[Rodion]

I think there are probably some things one can apply practically, but on the whole I think striving toward Christ takes care of some of the issues that debilitate men concerning women.

Becoming head over heels and heavily outcome-invested in her means you’re not trusting in God. Striving toward the narrow path and repentance and trying to grow in faith shows you already have something far higher and more important than her affections, which at the very least, will help you combat those feelings of neediness which may still arise.

These are all broad strokes of course. The thing is that many redpill strategies rely on increasing your sin in other areas in order to tackle a deficiency, e.g spinning plates to avoid oneitis.

One-itis was always a big problem for me growing up. I recently met a woman who brought that all bubbling up again, but instead of obsessing about it and strategising about how I can best simulate someone worth knowing, with my feather-boa and purple Stetson, I prayed about it hard. “This woman is stirring my passions and I feel tremendous desire for her, please help me and let your will be done.”

I’m going out on a limb here, but I feel that perhaps the veneration of the Mother of God in Orthodoxy and Catholicism can take the edge of that mad self-sacrificial urge men have that can cause them to pedestalise woman and throw themselves at their feet.

 

[JCSteel]

I would love to get some game, but use that power for good, as way to get to know Godly women. I'm pretty much disillusioned with dating apps at this point, and wouldn't mind being able to approach women in public when I sense their openness to conversation.

I'm ignorant of what game even is besides what little I've read about the art of seduction in Robert Greene's books. In my 20s and early 30s I looked into some PUA material and was disgusted by it. Never heard of Roosh until 2022 so I'm unfamiliar with what he taught in this area.

 

[canuckj]

I think there are probably some things one can apply practically, but on the whole I think striving toward Christ takes care of some of the issues that debilitate men concerning women.

Becoming head over heels and heavily outcome-invested in her means you’re not trusting in God. Striving toward the narrow path and repentance and trying to grow in faith shows you already have something far higher and more important than her affections, which at the very least, will help you combat those feelings of neediness which may still arise.

These are all broad strokes of course. The thing is that many redpill strategies rely on increasing your sin in other areas in order to tackle a deficiency, e.g spinning plates to avoid oneitis.

One-itis was always a big problem for me growing up. I recently met a woman who brought that all bubbling up again, but instead of obsessing about it and strategising about how I can best simulate someone worth knowing, with my feather-boa and purple Stetson, I prayed about it hard. “This woman is stirring my passions and I feel tremendous desire for her, please help me and let your will be done.”

I’m going out on a limb here, but I feel that perhaps the veneration of the Mother of God in Orthodoxy and Catholicism can take the edge of that mad self-sacrificial urge men have that can cause them to pedestalise woman and throw themselves at their feet.

I agree with with you are saying. I have no intention to introduce sin into the equation and am trying to trust the Lord for my relationship (as I believe he introduced us). Up to now I haven't used any tactics or played games of any kind. My personality is very open and I am very honest with my girlfriend. Really I am quite an open book and maybe that removes some mystery and excitement.

I agree with growing in one's faith. However, I think there are still gaps. I don't think I become more charming or interesting as I become closer to God. Women are still emotional and have a different psychology than men even if they are Christians. My go to is to always pray and ask God for help.

Maybe my use of the term "game" is the issue. I am not looking to trick a woman to get something immoral. I just want to do my best with the interpersonal dynamics. I also think of some young guys who don't know how to talk to women and can't even get their feet in the door.

 

[canuckj]

I would love to get some game, but use that power for good, as way to get to know Godly women. I'm pretty much disillusioned with dating apps at this point, and wouldn't mind being able to approach women in public when I sense their openness to conversation.

I'm ignorant of what game even is besides what little I've read about the art of seduction in Robert Greene's books. In my 20s and early 30s I looked into some PUA material and was disgusted by it. Never heard of Roosh until 2022 so I'm unfamiliar with what he taught in this area.

I feel for you. I have prayed and God sent a young woman into my life and things seem to be going well. Sometimes though I worry that I am messing up and not putting my best foot forward. That is what prompted the question for this thread.

For what it is worth I never studied "game" although I am familiar with some of the terms.

 

[staddlelateen]

One thing I have thought a lot about is whether there is a need for men to learn strategies for relationships. I don’t mean playing games or manipulating women but rather having some solid tactics and strategies.

I was never into “game” or the PUA world but they taught some things that were used to help men achieve a (unholy) goal. Is there a parallel for Godly relationships and can we share these tactics to help each other achieve a holy purpose (matrimony)?

I guess the type of things I am referring to would be tactics for being charming, getting a woman to see you as a valuable man who has options and won’t wait around for her, not appearing needy, etc. I know many of us are nice, decent men who fall head over heels in love with a woman but does that signal that we are just safe, boring guys without options? Anyway these just my thoughts.

It depends what you mean. If you are referring to typical narcissistic sociopathic strategies that treats women as "marks" from whom you can extract resources that are solely from your own selfish benefit, then clearly no. It will hollow out your humanity, and it will only attract damaged, dumb, low self-esteem women that find that find that type of manipulation attractive.

On the other hand, if you are referring to sophisticated interpersonal skills coupled with a robust self-esteem that aligns with Christian virtues, then clearly yes. These skills should have been learned from your father and mother, but sadly due to the sustained attacks on masculinity, femininity, and the family unit in our society, fewer and fewer young men have developed these skills as they enter adulthood.

On a further note, PUA disappeared because it was exposed as a scam. Many of these "gurus" hired prostitutes or simply travelled to poorer countries where they levered their passport or money to allure women. They created the image of success and then sold useless courses and programs to lonely, depressed, and misguided men.

 

[staddlelateen]

I would love to get some game, but use that power for good, as way to get to know Godly women. I'm pretty much disillusioned with dating apps at this point, and wouldn't mind being able to approach women in public when I sense their openness to conversation.

I'm ignorant of what game even is besides what little I've read about the art of seduction in Robert Greene's books. In my 20s and early 30s I looked into some PUA material and was disgusted by it. Never heard of Roosh until 2022 so I'm unfamiliar with what he taught in this area.

"Game" was repacked sociopathy. It approximated the interpersonal skills of someone with narcissistic personality disorder. You cannot use a dysfunctional personality disorder for good.

If you want to find and attract a good women, you have to be a good man. It's really that simple. Orient yourself towards good by focusing on improving your cardinal virtues and riding yourself of the cardinal vices.

 

[Get2choppaaa]

 

[It_Is_My_Time]

As an older guy, who is around a lot of young attractive women, and had some great advice given to me on the "best game" for a good Christian man...

Be the most happy, up beat, positive, forgiving, optimistic, and genuinely interested in and caring for other people you can. The good women will draw to men like this. They look for it, they spot it, and they will come into your space. The women that want the "tough guys" or "players" or "bad boys" will be turned off by this. They are fools who see these strengths and "weaknesses".

This will filter out the good and not good women. This will improve your life, even without a woman, because when you become this way, the gates of life open up. And as the good women become available, you meet one you share a good bond with and build on it, and leave sex for the last step. Get to know and care about them as a person, the sex can and must wait.

 

[canuckj]

"Game" was repacked sociopathy. It approximated the interpersonal skills of someone with narcissistic personality disorder. You cannot use a dysfunctional personality disorder for good.

If you want to find and attract a good women, you have to be a good man. It's really that simple. Orient yourself towards good by focusing on improving your cardinal virtues and riding yourself of the cardinal vices.

Okay, I didn't realize this as I had little exposure to game. My ex-wife has many NPD symptoms so I don't want to copy that.

I think the best advice seems to be increase Christ and decrease self.

 

[canuckj]

As an older guy, who is around a lot of young attractive women, and had some great advice given to me on the "best game" for a good Christian man...

Be the most happy, up beat, positive, forgiving, optimistic, and genuinely interested in and caring for other people you can. The good women will draw to men like this. They look for it, they spot it, and they will come into your space. The women that want the "tough guys" or "players" or "bad boys" will be turned off by this. They are fools who see these strengths and "weaknesses".

This will filter out the good and not good women. This will improve your life, even without a woman, because when you become this way, the gates of life open up. And as the good women become available, you meet one you share a good bond with and build on it, and leave sex for the last step. Get to know and care about them as a person, the sex can and must wait.

I think you are correct on this. I definitely only want to attract good quality women. And I agree that sex must wait.

 

[God's lonely asperger]

This will filter out the good and not good women. This will improve your life, even without a woman, because when you become this way, the gates of life open up.

You can't filter coffee with just a coffee filter. This is the essential problem in today's world. Almost any location has this, and the market is objectively inflated and saturated for men looking for women. The lack of "good women" is why there are delusional threads here about trad virgin wives "outside the West" and moving to the same general direction of THAT nation..

And as the good women become available, you meet one you share a good bond with and build on it, and leave sex for the last step. Get to know and care about them as a person, the sex can and must wait.

The root cause of the horrible sin of fornication (or distrust, in the secular sense) is degeneracy and atheism (game). The main issue right now in this is that, like I said, there is a crisis in "inceldom" and lack of quality in the market. You can look at this as a Christian or a secular man, but the conclusion is scientifically the same, and we are both practicing Christians. I'm probably like half your age btw, but at the same time, this means I mostly grew up in this modern dichotomy that goes beyond women's rights. You can kind of see my success as I am posting this.

 

[Lawrence87]

Most priests usually will say something along the lines of: If you want a godly wife, then strive to be a godly man.

I also lost count of the amount of times I heard it said that once they strove towards this and abandoned their "where can I find my wife?" attitude they met their wife.

I never really got into the whole game thing, but my sense is if you are seriously in pursuit of Christ then things that secular people have to play games to portray will fall into place of themselves.

All genuine masculine traits are found in a man of God. Anxiety, fearfulness and so on are conquered in God. You don't have to create a facade or manufacture a scenario where you appear to women as "in demand" if you are well put together a godly woman will presume that if they don't snatch you up someone else will. And if you are faithful to Christ you aren't going to throw your entire lot in with any woman who looks at you.

 

[Sandalwood Peak]

The only red pill guy I can stomach to watch reiterates what we already know. If you want to learn game concepts I would recommend him.

 

[It_Is_My_Time]

You can't filter coffee with just a coffee filter. This is the essential problem in today's world. Almost any location has this, and the market is objectively inflated and saturated for men looking for women. The lack of "good women" is why there are delusional threads here about trad virgin wives "outside the West" and moving to the same general direction of THAT nation..


The root cause of the horrible sin of fornication (or distrust, in the secular sense) is degeneracy and atheism (game). The main issue right now in this is that, like I said, there is a crisis in "inceldom" and lack of quality in the market. You can look at this as a Christian or a secular man, but the conclusion is scientifically the same, and we are both practicing Christians. I'm probably like half your age btw, but at the same time, this means I mostly grew up in this modern dichotomy that goes beyond women's rights. You can kind of see my success as I am posting this.

Yes, when you are a younger man my advice to follow is much tougher. One advantage to getting older is your sex drive calming down and being able to truly see women as just people of the opposite sex and not sexy beings. My side job puts me around a lot of young/attractive women in a very social setting. So, I get a lot of practice with this and also I know how much different I feel around them now in my mid-40's v. when I was say 28.

My advice sounds easy, and it is very simple to follow, but it is far from easy. Young women in the USA today are a complete disaster. And they know this as well, and they try their best to cover it up and hide it and lie to find some man who can get them out of the mess created for them by feminism while at the very same time forced by peer pressure to support the feminist lies. No wonder most of them are addicted to some kind of drug (legal, illegal, alcohol, anti-depressants, sugar, etc.).

But if you can learn to be happy by yourself. Truly happy. Smile on your face, happy true smile in your eyes, and seeking nothing more from the women other than just sharing this common human bond of happiness + all the other important things like being in shape and dressing appropriate then women will slowly come into your life. This is simple, but it is far from easy. It takes a lot of work to learn to become truly happy with yourself. Women are hardwired to pick up on it right away and they have no way of denying it, other than to turn to "bad boys" and those are the women none of us want in our lives.

 

[It_Is_My_Time]

The only red pill guy I can stomach to watch reiterates what we already know. If you want to learn game concepts I would recommend him.

This video is probably the best I have ever seen on teaching men how to understand how women are wired and what they are looking for in a man. This video is gold for any man trying to find a good woman.

 

[canuckj]

Thanks for all the replies. I think I am not missing anything and am on the right path. I will continue to work on my relationship with God and emulate him in every way. I think game was for secular carnal men trying to manipulate broken women for pleasure. That is not what we are trying to accomplish.

 

[Blade Runner]

I also lost count of the amount of times I heard it said that once they strove towards this and abandoned their "where can I find my wife?" attitude they met their wife.

I'm not totally sure I understand this sentence as it is fairly unclear. I think you're saying that when they gave up looking the woman popped up. That might be, but it's a type of bias. You probably didn't hear about the men for whom no woman popped up, because there's no story there to tell. What's more, the trick with the modern day is that there aren't many godly people around, and I think even less godly women, to be quite honest. Of the godly women, most of the women in the west will be average to bad looking, or fat (that's just a reflection of the average or status of the culture/society).

If you want to learn game concepts I would recommend him.

Do you think that men are asking for too much (appearance wise) or women are asking for too much in general?

It takes a lot of work to learn to become truly happy with yourself.

Maybe, maybe not. I still think it hinges on the questions, after a while, "What am I working for?" and "Should I be a monk if I've already done all the other material stuff in life"? You can be happy with yourself but still be rather bored with life after a while. I like a lot of the things I do daily but they don't seem to have the meaning as by the time you are 40 if you have done most things in life, nothing is actually very new - it's just a different escape.

This video is probably the best I have ever seen on teaching men how to understand how women are wired and what they are looking for in a man.

I saw that video a while back, and clicked through it. What do you think his best points are. "Women want more" - uh yea, that's why it's such a problem for men currently. They have other things to distract them from actually being in cooperation with a man, and those things sadly waste the window where men actually might take them seriously. It's the same, repeating pattern. You could say that men's expectations are too high but historically I know this isn't true since there are so few women I actually see that truly add to their man's life (there are some, don't get me wrong). Most of the women who would add to a man's life and act pleasant, etc are pretty much or best described as fat 4s or 5s. That's why they behave well - they aren't in very high demand at all.