Based books on raising children
- Thread starter Tippy
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I just got a new book called Preventing homosexuality in your children, I havent opened it yet but sounds like a pretty good parenting book for our day and age, most of the reviews are by people who havent even read the book and are giving it 1 star just because of the topics discussed, the one helpful review said that when you allow your sons to play with girls toys and dolls and play with girls clothes its not good and on how important it is to bring your boys with you to do manly things like let them help you fix a burst pipe or cut the grass, involve them in stuff like this, in this simple positive book review it made a lot of sense to me and will be reading the book very soon once Iv completed my current book.
Is this one of those anti spanking books?
NVM Googles it.
Looks like woke bullshit.
The sort of thing that people who try and reason with a misbehaving toddler do when the child needs a swift pop on the rear end to get squared away.
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Anyone who has kids knows this praceful parenting doesnt work if thats what the book means and it isnt good for the kids, sometimes kids only understand pain, its the only thing they will listen to and obey. Its also the only valid punishment if they are very rude and disrespectful I find.
Sounds like someone was spanked too much. Coming from someone that personally wasn't hit, I have pretty strong evidence that was the way to go.
Anyway how does this "look woke". The cover looks woke? Clarify your comment.
How about helping out by posting a different book then?
That's psychotic.
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The book definitely isn't woke. It's written by a strong Catholic man.
Why would I insert anything woke here? Do your own research.
Here's his blog.
Franssen’s Substack | Substack
Thoughts and musings on philosophy, self-knowledge, and relationships for those seeking to improve their moral quality. Click to read Franssen’s Substack, a Substack publication with hundreds of subscribers.
franssen.substack.com
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From what I've seen, a lot of this stems from a kid's poor relationship with a father. Hitting could potentially exacerbate that. Or maybe just toughen them up and just make them pissed off at the world? Who really knows. But I'm sorry I'm not banking on physical punishment as the answer.
You need a book to tell you to teach your boy to cut grass with you? Such simpleton writing.
When you have a bunch of kids, you can't reason with them all the time...and they have to know the follow through on punishment is necessary.
Sometimes spanking is necessary and should be used when appropriate.I t's not to physically harm the child. It's to get their attention when they're little and when they get around 5 or 6 you might give them a stern talking to before and after which implants a little embarrassment that deters repeat action.
I'm glad whatever your circumstance were "worked" for you... But have no idea what metric it is to judge if it did or or didn't work. I can use my circumstance that says the opposite.
I can say I was spanked occasionally when necessary by my old man and with a wooden spoon by my mom.
There's obviously a difference in beating your kids and all that and of course I'm not arguing for anything like that.
I can only speak to being a boy, and having a large family of boy children.... Kids need firm boundaries and to have respect and a little bit of fear for the position of the father as the disciplinarian.
I see people try this in public with their church and the children are totally running a muck with the parents and the mom and dad have zero control. The dad won't discipline the child and the mom does all that (poorly). I see this every week and it's a shame because my observation is that kids who are not spanked by their parents generally grow up and get spanked by life as an adult.
As far as books go, I've never read one, I just am cautioning the idea that a soft approach is the right approach.
Got it. But the book is far from woke. I'm going the peaceful route initially so we will see how it goes. My children are young and I can't imagine swiping them at this point. Too innocent and still just learning boundaries.
One of the main points of the book is not inflicting the psychological damage that has been done to us onto the children. And that alone is worth the read because it's a sickness on our society.
Fair. I've seen many with this approach. I just haven't seen it bear fruits. I think eventually you'll realize that just because it's not pleasant to discipline a child with a spanking, doesn't mean it's not the right tool as long as it's not the default.
I've got kids aged 15 to 1... So I've got a bit of experience in this.
Also something all parents should realize is that all your faults and strengths leave a lasting psychological impact on your kids.
In my opinion, taking a firm, fair and patient approach is the best way as a father to engage with your kids. My kids know that when I tell them to stop doing something or behave they need to listen or they'll be punished severely. This is very rare and they are very well behaved.
I probably dont spank my kids as often as I should, Im a very patient and merciful man, sometimes when they are small its very necessary to spank especially if you have multiple kids, for example, when we go for walks its important for the safety of the child that he/she obey you or they can get run over by a car and die if they dont as they still learning how to cross a road. My kids do know that there are consequences to disobedience, disrespect and for bad behaviour because of previous hidings that they recieved and Iv noticed when we go for walks and its a dangerous situation and I yell at them from a distance to stop they do listen and this can save their lives.
For being very distespectful to an elder especially when they get home they will get spanked with a belt, it mustnt be too soft it should be just enough that they cry, if its too soft then the punishment wasnt severe enough, these are rare moments though and the lesson will be remembered and hopefully when they are adults it will impact them and guide them I pray.
My eldest is under ten and he can start a fire using a flint and magnifying glass, he can cut grass, he uses machetes, axes, drill machines, saws, hammere, he plays with electricity (in a safe way), he can make a bow, shoot a gun, all that good stuff etc so no I dont need a book for that but I might be missing something and have blind spots, I am willing to learn and even be corrected so when I saw the title of this book It sounded interesting and want to read it for the benefit of my kids.
I think spanking your kids does bring peace, Im not sure if your book is about not spanking but it kind of sounds like it is about not spanking, thats a phrase Stephan Malenuex uses for not spanking.
Are you married and do you have any kids?
To be fair I dont think kids in our modern society get spanked much, if anything at all
No offense but your philosophy on the benefits of physical punishment to your own children is very weak versus the philosophy of peacefulness. I mean you're striking your own children with a belt. No thanks. That seems off to me.
If you're able to become a productive, moral citizen capable of loving others without being hit (my case) then why would you even dare to test the waters otherwise? It makes absolutely zero sense. I see it as a way to manipulate and control. We are here to guide our children towards correct behavior. You've already taught them it's okay to resort to violence.
I think its better to use a tool instead of your hands to spank a child as it mentions in the bible, spare not the "rod", our hands are to love our children, there are many times that Iv been too far away to go and fetch a belt and used my hands instead out of convenience. So 99.9% of the guiding I do with my kids is talk and being an example, the rest is correction that requires physical pinishment, I will give you an example.
My eldest and youngest had a terrible habit of playing with doors, opening and closing, this is dangerous, besides it disturbing the peace in the house someone is going to get their fingers caught, after much talking and verbal warning they didnt stop this game, it went on and eventually the youngest got his tiny finger slammed in the door really hard from the eldest, the best punishment in that situation in my opinion was physical spanking which I did to the eldest to teach him the severity of what just happened, besides disobeying me he physically harmed his younger brother and caused him much pain, he doesnt play with the doors anymore it solved the problem and he learnt a great lesson, my other kids who are still very young still play with the doors because they have never been spanked for playing with the doors so Iv noticed a difference between verbal and physical punishment in this situation and the physical punishment gave better results.
A physical spanking also has the advantage of being over with very quickly and the lesson is learnt faster compared to grounding a child for days/weeks by taking something they like away, later that day our relationship was mended and we loved each other and we carried on with life as normal.
I too was spanked as a child and to be honest I dont think I was spanked enough I always wished that I had been spanked more when I was older, my parents were loving and never abusive but 1 time I hurt my baby brother really bad and my mom broke a wooden spoon on me thats how hard she hit me and I always accepted that as just and as an adult looking back that was the right thing my mom did and I respect her for it and it showed me as a child the severity of what I did.
Based_Christian_Dude
Catholic
Somewhat related to this thread thread's topic, there's a book series on teaching your children about CIK's deep forum topics that James Corbett covers:
To those who use a belt on their children, I give a cautionary tale: My husband's father used his belt on him and his brothers. And it was very effective... for a time... Once they were big enough to outrun their father, his belt was useless and his children completely ran amuck because it was the belt they feared and not their father. And they all hate him now.
Is there a man here who was strapped by their dad who still has a healthy relationship with him? I'm just curious to know.
Edit: this is an Orthodox family fyi
Is there a man here who was strapped by their dad who still has a healthy relationship with him? I'm just curious to know.
Edit: this is an Orthodox family fyi
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