I need to discuss it with him, it is a very small parish, so not sure why he does it this way..
Ortho Lounge
- Thread starter TrainedLogosmotion
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It does sound unusual but there might be a legitimate reason why the priest was given a blessing to confess people in such a manner.
You are right to raise it peaceably with him in person. You can just say you find it unusual and ask if there is a reason why it is done this way, and say that you'd prefer one-to-one confession.
If the priest has a very negative reaction to being questioned about it, I'd consider talking to the bishop. But you shouldn't talk to the bishop without going to the priest with your concerns first.
How much detail should one go into when confessing? Sometimes there are specific circumstances or details about a sin which perhaps make it worse, I do not know if those can be omitted or if going into as much detail as possible is good. Like, say I consumed extremely disturbing pornography rather than "normal" pornography, should I describe the type of pornography in my confession as that detail probably makes the sin significantly heavier, or is it enough to just go "I consumed pornography" and leave it at that?
I obviously feel inclined to avoid going into details when confessing because there is a desire to "save face" before the priest, or a fear that the priest will think badly of me. I also feel pressured to keep things brief when confessing, because if I really go into thorough details every time, that'll be an incredibly long confession, and usually there's other people waiting for their turns to confess so that would feel extremely impolite. But then, we are not to omit things during confession, right? I do not know how to go about this.
I obviously feel inclined to avoid going into details when confessing because there is a desire to "save face" before the priest, or a fear that the priest will think badly of me. I also feel pressured to keep things brief when confessing, because if I really go into thorough details every time, that'll be an incredibly long confession, and usually there's other people waiting for their turns to confess so that would feel extremely impolite. But then, we are not to omit things during confession, right? I do not know how to go about this.
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I am not a priest or any kind of authority so don't take my words as the final say on anything.
I would say your conscience should be the guide. You will probably sense if you are making things too vague through shame.
That being said you don't have to go into specific detail. In your example, you wouldn't need to describe the video. I'd say something like "I viewed pornography, the content of which was particularly foul and degrading and as a result I suffered disturbance in my soul"
If you're trying to engineer a confession like a politician where you say things without really saying them, for example if you said "I looked lustfully at a video online" its not a lie but it isn't really confessing it truthfully because you're saying it in a way that doesn't get across what you really did, and makes out you just saw someone pretty on YouTube. So in short, say in no uncertain terms what is troubling your conscience without being explicit in the detail. There is no saving face in front of God.
Thinking about this and my oast struggles with faith, I wonder if it's not so much that I've lacked faith, as the fact that I couldn't accept that I didn't, because it would mean my problems were that transitory and self inflicted.
The idea that my own suffering is trifling and insignificant is a little difficult to swallow, and I don't think I ever consciously reconciled with this fact.
How can I can say that my troubles with suicide were a great trouble or inconvenience when Christ died on the Cross for after days of excruciating torture, when Saints have literally been burned alive for proclaiming his resurrection and not even faltered in the face of death?
It's humbling in a way. If painful. Yet as they say, the Dragon doesn't represent greed, it represents the Ego.
A Guide to Confession (II)
Written by Valeriu Gafencu – while in the Communist Gulag (continued from the previous post) The Ten Commandments The First Commandment: I am the Lord thy God, thou shall not have any gods…
orthodoxword.wordpress.com
Those who have read “The Saint of the Prisons” will perhaps be familiar with this, but I’ve been revisiting it again before I go to confession. I find it very helpful
I've been contemplating how insidious materialism is.
The foundational myth of materialism is that there is an objective state of things that we can somehow access by ritualistically stripping our human experience from reality. That the observer can be subtracted from the observation, and that this can somehow provide the most accurate portrayal of reality. This observation-sans-observer is as unreal as many atheistic materialists claim God to be. Yet many Christians still fall into the trap of thinking like a materialist. That this "objective" description of reality minus the observer is the standard, just that it somehow has God attached to it.
The post modernists who make everything about subjectivity miss the mark also, because they lack a centre. Christ is the objective centre of reality, by which we can measure our experience. Reality is centred on Him. So its not the case that the denial of materialism leads to a rudderless subjectivism wherein everyone's version of the truth is in some kind of eternal power struggle, but rather the incarnation of Christ is the point that holds reality together. Reality is neither some inaccessible objective description, nor a centreless nihilistic subjectivism.
Those who allow their Christianity to be subsumed by materialism, and posit that there is this objective description of reality that exists independent of us, just that the equation somehow features Christ, pretty much miss the point of the incarnation. Christians never looked at the world like this until recently. They looked at the world as it is, that is one viewed through human experience, but founded and centred on the God-man Christ, they did not concern themselves with some hypothetical reality that exists independent of that.
The foundational myth of materialism is that there is an objective state of things that we can somehow access by ritualistically stripping our human experience from reality. That the observer can be subtracted from the observation, and that this can somehow provide the most accurate portrayal of reality. This observation-sans-observer is as unreal as many atheistic materialists claim God to be. Yet many Christians still fall into the trap of thinking like a materialist. That this "objective" description of reality minus the observer is the standard, just that it somehow has God attached to it.
The post modernists who make everything about subjectivity miss the mark also, because they lack a centre. Christ is the objective centre of reality, by which we can measure our experience. Reality is centred on Him. So its not the case that the denial of materialism leads to a rudderless subjectivism wherein everyone's version of the truth is in some kind of eternal power struggle, but rather the incarnation of Christ is the point that holds reality together. Reality is neither some inaccessible objective description, nor a centreless nihilistic subjectivism.
Those who allow their Christianity to be subsumed by materialism, and posit that there is this objective description of reality that exists independent of us, just that the equation somehow features Christ, pretty much miss the point of the incarnation. Christians never looked at the world like this until recently. They looked at the world as it is, that is one viewed through human experience, but founded and centred on the God-man Christ, they did not concern themselves with some hypothetical reality that exists independent of that.
In my parish, this typically happens when the priest is pressed for time. For example, if he has a meeting scheduled after the Divine Liturgy or there is a baptism following the service, the confession is usually read from a prayer book rather than conducted individually. Another instance is when our parish priest is away and a substitute priest from another parish takes his place. The substitute, often from a smaller parish, isn't accustomed to the larger congregation at our church, so he resorts to the generic confession.
Normally, however, confessions are conducted one-on-one.
I agree with Lawrence87's take on using your conscience as a guide. It's a delicate balancing act: on one hand, you don't want to be too detailed when confessing sins, and on the other hand, you don't want to be too vague like a politician.
From my own experience, this is true. When I was a new convert, I was deeply ashamed of being a "fapper," so I merely confessed that I looked at pictures and videos of women. However, I still felt guilty in my soul. Over time, I began to confess that I was a pervert who liked looking at questionable pictures and videos and that I was a "fapper." This is more detailed than my previous confessions, but it works for me without being overly detailed.
Christ is born! Glorify Him. Merry Christmas to the Old Calendar folks here
Merry Christmas to all!
This is exactly right. Especially for sins concerning lust, or inappropriate sexual behavior. You never want to put these images into your priests head, as they are men just as we are. Your explanation was excellent.
I have been thinking how we have been conditioned to expect spirituality to be all about experiences. I think the cultural revolution in the 1960s has a lot to do with this, as does consumerism in general. LSD made us think that you need to have some grand cosmic experiences to be considered a spiritual person.
The reason I was thinking about this was because for a long time I have struggled with the notion of loving everyone as a Christian. And I realised that this is because I imagined that achieving this is to be in some completely altered state where you feel overjoyed at the mere sight of others and overflowing with love for them.
The reality is quite simple though. Loving others is just a basic decision. It usually doesn't feel much like anything, particularly if it's a stranger, sometimes it feels outright difficult. But its just deciding to be nice, to help if you can, to not treat them badly or like they are beneath you, to forgive them and not hold on to resentment against them etc. Once you realise that its not some fantastical state, that you can just decide to treat others more lovingly it doesn't seem to unattainable.
The reason I was thinking about this was because for a long time I have struggled with the notion of loving everyone as a Christian. And I realised that this is because I imagined that achieving this is to be in some completely altered state where you feel overjoyed at the mere sight of others and overflowing with love for them.
The reality is quite simple though. Loving others is just a basic decision. It usually doesn't feel much like anything, particularly if it's a stranger, sometimes it feels outright difficult. But its just deciding to be nice, to help if you can, to not treat them badly or like they are beneath you, to forgive them and not hold on to resentment against them etc. Once you realise that its not some fantastical state, that you can just decide to treat others more lovingly it doesn't seem to unattainable.
Since my baptism, this is the first time I've attended the liturgy of The Holy Theophany of The Lord. January 19th fell on a Thursday in 2023 and on a Friday in 2024. Luckily, this year it landed on a Sunday. I was a moron for not making the time to attend the liturgy for the past two years. Back then, I assumed it was a less important liturgy since it wasn't held on a Sunday. As a result, I never received the holy water from the church until now.
Hang on, what country is that?
The more one prays, the more naturally the love will come.
LSD and things like that offer something that is mindblowing and altering in a very obvious way. The gifts of the spirit in the Orthodox life (and I going by what I've read and experienced) are often very subtle -- being able to repent faster after sin, being able to cut off from sins which once happened frequently and spontaneously, naturally returning to a prayerful state, naturally being able to love others, getting insights into the spiritual life, peace, wanting to help others more, things like that. They are subtle, yet profound. Sometimes, we don't even notice them when they happen, but only upon reflection ("It used to take me hours or days to repent after sin, now it happens in minutes"). Unlike psychedelics, drugs, or other forms of "experiences" that are rooted in the passions, sin, and deception, these gifts are rooted in God's Truth and Grace.
I have experienced the altered state occasionally, usually after Church, sometimes when something really good happens.
I can only thank God for such a blessing.
That photo was taken at a church in Indonesia under the jurisdiction of the Moscow Patriarchate. Nowadays, there is almost no excuse not to be Orthodox, as the Orthodox Church has reached all corners of the world.
I experienced the exact same thing. I once asked my parish priest, "How do I know if the Holy Spirit is working on me? In Charismatic Protestantism, they know if the Holy Spirit is working through signs such as speaking in tongues and healing others". He simply told me, If I remember to pray and go to church, the Holy Spirit is working. If I can differentiate between right and wrong acts, the Holy Spirit is working in me.
Did you know that I was a porn/fap addict who couldn't stop since junior high school, but I managed to stop only last year? This wasn't due to my willpower or any special abilities, but through regularly going to church and having consistent prayers. Living in a state of grace also allows me to have a kind of "Midas touch" effect. Most of the things I do have goodness in them, bringing benefits to others and to me. On the opposite end, when I don't go to church for a long time and distance myself from Christ, everything I do almost always lacks goodness and tends to be destructive.
I experienced an altered state right off the bat the first time I stepped foot in an Orthodox church and attended my first-ever Divine Liturgy. Right after that, I stopped looking at other churches and knew that my search was over.
I have attended Catholic Mass and Catholic Charismatic Renewal several times, but I did not experience anything different. Last year, I even attended Pope Francis's Mass, but I did not feel anything different. This made me realize that Orthodoxy is the truth because when the priest celebrates a Divine Liturgy, I experience something positive that is hard to describe. But when a leader of the Catholic Church celebrates Mass, I do not feel anything.
(P.S. In the future, I have to make a follow-up post regarding attending Pope Francis's Mass as proof that I'm not lying or making things up.)