Yes, I was wondering why you used the term (yourself) "whore". It seems you just met a promiscuous woman in a less than traditional way, and feel bad about it because you know she isn't "wife" material so it's not very serious in your mind.
Whore addiction
- Thread starter Recovering
- Start date
I think he posted somewhere else, and Samseau moved it to create a new thread. Samseau is the one who made the title.
Making 150-200k a year, why can't you find someone young and attractive that is normal? About how old are you? Maybe I missed this.
Here's a tip. Get a volunteer job in a hospital, preferably an ER. They are loaded with young, nurturing women.
Here's a tip. Get a volunteer job in a hospital, preferably an ER. They are loaded with young, nurturing women.
Are there a lot of these around, in your estimation? I'm not trying to lead you, just want to legitimately know.
Does this matter? I also want to know your thoughts.
Replacing one type of fornication with another isn't the solution here. Quitting cold turkey is exactly what we need.
When I was a smoker, I tried to cut down a million times and it never worked. But when I decided to finally quit entirely, I made it after a period of struggle. There were moments where I thought I could never do it and the withdrawal was torture, but it's easy to stay clean now. You can't control these passions, there's no such thing as moderation and quitting entirely is easier than trying to control it. I've heard sex addiction counselors say the same thing. They also say no one ever regrets quitting.
Cornelius presents a good plan to conquer lust, and I haven't done it yet myself but do think it's possible for anyone. The goal is to find a wife, and we're not going to find one without God's help especially in this crooked day and age. I don't see why God will help someone with a secular girlfriend. Intimate relationships with faithless women are not going to be a good influence on your life, remember what happened to King Solomon with all his iniquitous wives. God will help those who keep themselves pure. And each woman you're with is going to hurt your relationship with your future wife, and it's going to make it harder to find her in general. To fall because of weakness is understandable, but when you're planning to sin in advance you're not even giving yourself a chance.
I pray for your release from these desires with the whore and that you find them in a suitable wife. I understand the emptiness at most churches where single unmarried men cannot find anything but barren spinsters and former whores or very unattractive women. It is a desert out there, no matter which side of the pond you're on.
There are three strategies that are good for this:
-The first is to "flee" lust. Yes, flee from it. Lust destroys all, and it nearly destroyed me several times in earlier years. "If you follow lust, you will have fled from being righteous." Lust launches attacks against your heart, you must understand you are in a war with it. If it overcomes your heart, it will overcome the rest of your life easily. It is imperative to change your lifestyle significantly to get out of this negative cycle.
-The second strategy is to not trust your self-control, but run from it when presented with lust. I would purposefully drive across town to be away from girls I had issues controlling myself with to not be near them, it would seem that distance is a powerful variable in the effect of lust. Remove yourself from the situation. We cannot be wiser than the God that demands us to flee from this.
-The third strategy is to create a holy atmosphere. Don't watch things that will feed lust. This atmosphere will not allow lust to thrive in our hearts. We must be careful with what we allow our eyes and ears to be subject to, because these are the two gates that lead to our hearts. I would even say we must control directly what interacts with our senses. Failing in keeping our heart always leads to failure in disciplining our body.
Source: this video
"How to Overcome Lust and Temptation"
It will not be easy, but your soul is not desiring to live this way, you came here, anonymous or not, and told us. Free your heart from these storm clouds, no matter how long it takes, start making changes to put yourself in cleaner circumstances. These warfare strategies are not all, but they are certainly going to be in your mind as you go forward, and continuing to renege on them will hurt more than the other pains will and for some, only when these spiritual pains are too great can they no longer continue living in sin.
I think the essence of the problems is that @Recovering adores lust more than God.
This is the essence of all sin. Loving something more than God.
Matthew 6:24
"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money."
That's the essence.
First you need to see you are wrong, then you need to repent physically at a priest and ask for god's forgiveness, do your penance, and then go forward.
For me the physical repentence is essential, it breaks my ego,
And what I read is that you are revolting to God's will, not accepting his rules.
You revolt against God here.
You sound like you're possessed by demons, if you like a whore more than a girl loving Christ.
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Thanks for your honesty. That comes first.
My advice would be to learn to love God more than your sins. And learn to see that if you sin you are really denying God's love. And all that will come from it is disaster.
A good practical way might be to spend time in a good Benedictine monastery for a week and be among brothers that love God. And pray that that seed might grow in your heart.
The answer to sin, is love for God.
This is the essence of all sin. Loving something more than God.
Matthew 6:24
"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money."
That's the essence.
First you need to see you are wrong, then you need to repent physically at a priest and ask for god's forgiveness, do your penance, and then go forward.
For me the physical repentence is essential, it breaks my ego,
Bit practical, your profile says you did confession, but you're a protestant right? So you didn't get penance and absolution right? How's that?
And what I read is that you are revolting to God's will, not accepting his rules.
You revolt against God here.
You sound like you're possessed by demons, if you like a whore more than a girl loving Christ.
Exactly so you don't want to follow God's will for you.
Exactly, just ignore God. Who cares about his will? Your will is more important right?
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Thanks for your honesty. That comes first.
My advice would be to learn to love God more than your sins. And learn to see that if you sin you are really denying God's love. And all that will come from it is disaster.
A good practical way might be to spend time in a good Benedictine monastery for a week and be among brothers that love God. And pray that that seed might grow in your heart.
The answer to sin, is love for God.
It is degenerate, but it is honestly degenerate. We all have sin that we know is a problem and needs to be removed. But we also have sin that we don't even want to remove. That is the sin we are most uncomfortable dealing with. That is also the sin we need to go to war with the most. It can only be removed by the power of God.
To the OP, if you are weak in faith, immerse yourself in the Word of God. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God. It is God's means of changing our nature, our heart, and our desires.
Everything we do, we do according to our desires. So if we're doing something we shouldn't, our desires need to change. How do we change our desires? We need God to change our very nature by the empowerment and illumination of the Holy Spirit. Earnestly seek Him and ask Him to accomplish this in you.
@Samseau
What was the original title? You may have put a 'spin' on this thread that it wasn't supposed to have..
Recovering
Catholic
I did not I posted in another place…the destruction of women thread and it was moved here, but I wouldn’t say the mods description is off base, I met this girl in an adult entertainment club. You are right, I do feel bad she is not wife or anything material.
Recovering
Catholic
Thank you for the tip on volunteering. I am in my mid to late 30s I don’t want to give a specific age. About the income, there are a few reasons for that. My job is very busy, and I travel for part of it which means I’m out of town, that adds to being tired and not in a routine. I don’t have a lot of time to go out because the job is very busy…also…online is bad.
The truth is certain people believe that if you have a good income that these marriageable women will fall into your lap but it is not the case…first there aren’t that many marriageable women…second you tend to attract the wrong types, like gold digging types or overly professional women who aren’t feminine in the least or mid 20s promiscuous women. The big thing is really access, unless someone is famous the income doesn’t help because they’re aren’t around enough good women and it’s not like I flash it.
Your lifestyle is leading you towards whores. You need to change it. Change jobs. At least. Make less money but live better. Work in something less demanding. And with a big pool of woman you can select from.
Also ask for God what you want. Ask and you shall receive.
Title is right. A stripper is a whore.
The dude said in the OP he met a stripper and paid her for sex in the first two sentences. Dats a whore my friends.
Whores are not merely slutty women. Whores sell their bodies for cash.
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Terrible comment. If people cannot confess, what is the point of a Christian forum?
Mark 16
16 And the scribes of[a] the Pharisees, when they saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, said to his disciples, “Why does he eat[b] with tax collectors and sinners?” 17 And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”
Cornelius V.E.
Orthodox
PSALM 50
Have mercy on me, O God, according to Thy great mercy; and according to the multitude of Thy compassions blot out my transgression. Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I know mine iniquity, and my sin is ever before me. Against Thee only have I sinned and done this evil before Thee, that Thou mightest be justified in Thy words, and prevail when Thou art judged. For behold, I was conceived in iniquities, and in sins did my mother bear me. For behold, Thou hast loved truth; the hidden and secret things of Thy wisdom hast Thou made manifest unto me. Thou shalt sprinkle me with hyssop, and I shall be made clean; Thou shalt wash me, and I shall be made whiter than snow. Thou shalt make me to hear joy and gladness; the bones that be humbled, they shall rejoice. Turn Thy face away from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from Thy presence, and take not Thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation, and with Thy governing Spirit establish me. I shall teach transgressors Thy ways, and the ungodly shall turn back unto Thee. Deliver me from blood-guiltiness. O God, Thou God of my salvation; my tongue shall rejoice in Thy righteousness. O Lord, Thou shalt open my lips, and my mouth shall declare Thy praise. For if Thou hadst desired sacrifice, I had given it; with whole-burnt offerings Thou shalt not be pleased. A sacrifice unto God is a broken spirit; a heart that is broken and humbled God will not despise. Do good, O Lord, in Thy good pleasure unto Sion, and let the walls of Jerusalem be builded. Then shalt Thou be pleased with a sacrifice of righteousness, with oblation and whole-burnt offerings. Then shall they offer bullocks upon Thine altar.
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While possibly true, it's the most real one.
I also take a bit of exception, and I'm not trying to wade into sophistry and excuses, with the idea that acting out after several years (for example) is anything close to being "addicted" to smoking or an alcoholic. There's no similar, proper way to "smoke" or "drink" (though I think they are overratedly bad for you unless you really abuse them) in the sense that sex is a good thing but in the right context. That context largely doesn't exist for developed world men these days. That's the point. People are looking for that context to avoid the barbs of constant distraction and crazy or delusional female behavior.
I think the title should be changed to "promiscuous women addiction". The OP isn't reporting a whore addiction in any post I've read.