Who Should You Marry?
- Thread starter stadtaffe
- Start date
Its seems its your family that pressures you to find a perfect wife?
Some families even limit the people you can be around with. Like you can only hang out with 3/4 families. Thats why one girl from a wealthy family ended up with a gipsy. Just to give them the middle finger. And she even had a kid from the gipsy. Proudly pushing baby cart around.
You know what you should do. Show up with a black. Next family reunion. A black. Not a mixed black. A fresh of the boat nigerian. Black as coal.
A long time friend of mine married an older colleague. She is a doctor. Graduated from Harvard. Her father was absent and he was alcholic. But her family is wealthy. She has two kids with him. They own a sailboat. The age gap is around 20 years.
For you to access youth probably you could give classes in a university or in a work environment. I think in the west it will be more difficult. But it can be done. Church and volunteering. But you need to find the girl you like. Not what family wants.
You dont talk about Netflix with your wife. I mean sometimes. You talk about your life together. Your kids. What happened on the news. The projects going on. Kids occupy 70-80% of your time. Your wife is a partner.
Your friend is Macron?
Anyways, my wife just ranted that all women are only after their own gain and that's why they all cheat and are after married husbands most as they've already succeeded in the "game".
Me:
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You've repeated the same points over and over, and I've answered them over and over.
I've gotten messages that some of these posts are some of the best they've ever read. I don't think communication problem is on my end.
You desire to tell others what to do in a thread, what is good for them, and challenge things that have already been explained. Your point of view on it is irrelevant at this point. If you notice, I was open and calm for many posts prior to your digging once again (on the same stuff), but now enough is enough.
No.
Stop being a clown.
Exactly. The whole "talk to me about everything" and your wife being an equal is modern, egalitarian (feminist) nonsense. And you'll typically pay a price for it, most of the time a big one.
One typically sees honesty with women only after they are married/a matriarch. It's sorta the point of this thread, and the point of history, that they need to pair early (yes their age is really all that matters) and move on to the next phase of life, because basically their opinions don't matter. Their family does.
I know several cases like this. But was wrong. My mistake.
You are doing something wrong. And need to change it. You cannot continue doing the same thing and expect different results. Last advice here. I´m putting this and similar threads on ignore.
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After the age of 30 years old I believe people missed the train. And you are left stranded in the train station with few other people who also missed it. The percentage of success really lowers. To the point where I believe you need to make an active effort in finding a good girl. And have to work much harder than before to reach your goal.
I trust my wife but I verify. With a solid prenup there´s nothing a women can do hurt you financially. We have a joint account and separate accounts. I did a prenup not because I was afraid my wife would divorce me and rip me off. The word divorce doesnt exist with us. She is Opus Dei. But because she might receive huge amounts of assets in the future and I didn´t´wanted to have a smaller estate than her when that time came. Since she is an only child. She bitched about the prenup. But she signed it. Like a good girl.
A man should always be richer than the women. You are the provider. And provide for her safety. In all aspects.
The list which as been repeated ad nauseum of a good girl:
- Low notch count
- Good relationship with father
- Non existent social media or residual.
If you want to specialize to protestant countries. Add foreign girls.
Yes, we all agree with this as a practical matter, regardless of what's gone on or "who is to blame". I've stated why this is the case as well, many times. That's why it's so exhausting to have to see it over and over, that's all I'm saying.
I saw a article, either on X or here recently, which tried to state that men over 35 are stuck in their ways (as if it were a mental usage/not usage process) and that's why it's nearly impossible for them to get married after that age. I think it's just bias, modernity and the fact that (my theory also) you can't fool them to do it like you could easily in the 20s. That's why society really took a hit when they made it really silly to get married by taking women out of their 20s. But it always comes back to blame men, since that's the base level of human thinking and deference. The normies don't get it, and that's why we post here. They won't get it. But they'll learn the hard way in other ways soon, a topic for another thread.
Recently, over the span of several months, I have experienced two very different situations involving my friends’ marriages.
The first occurred in November 2025, late last year. One of my friends, who is 35 years old, married a woman who is 26 years old—nine years younger. On paper, this looks like a good match. However, the woman comes from a fairly modest family background. She attended a community or vocational college specializing in nursing and graduated with an associate degree, which is below a bachelor’s degree. In my country, it is more common for people to attend university and obtain at least a bachelor’s degree, though this can be expensive. From this, it can be inferred that she likely comes from a modest economic background.
That said, my friend appears genuinely happy in his marriage. Social status and education aside, his wife seems like an ideal woman: she has long hair, a pleasant personality, and is not dominant or “girlboss”-type. Almost every day, my friend posts on social media about the meals his wife cooks for him, which suggests a harmonious domestic life.
The second situation happened last month, in January of this year. Another friend of mine, who is 32 years old, married a woman who is 35 years old—three years older than him. She comes from a more affluent family background, as she attended an all-girls private Catholic high school and later graduated from an elite flagship university in this country with a bachelor’s degree in psychology (not merely an associate degree). However, this marriage does not appear to be smooth sailing. His wife has a very strong mind of her own, and even shortly before the wedding, my friend still had doubts about whether he should go through with it. By that point, however, it felt too late for him to back out.
Although I sincerely want this marriage to succeed, I notice how long-held expectations and wishes can influence the outcomes we experience in life. For a long time, this friend had stated that he wanted his future wife to be born in the capital city, work as a medical doctor, come from an old-money family, be physically attractive, be conversationally adept, independent yet not dominant, and have graduated from a Catholic school. It looks like most of his wishes come true.
The point, I think, is that as men, we cannot force reality to conform perfectly to our standards and ideals. We cannot expect to find a “perfect” woman who looks like a model, is completely loyal, comes from a wealthy family, and has top-tier education all at once. There will always be trade-offs, as illustrated by these real-life examples.
After reflecting on these situations, it seems to me that the first woman—who comes from a more modest background and has a lower level of formal education—may ultimately make a better wife than the second. However, I am still not entirely sure. There will always be compromises to make, and every choice inevitably comes with its own trade-offs.
The first occurred in November 2025, late last year. One of my friends, who is 35 years old, married a woman who is 26 years old—nine years younger. On paper, this looks like a good match. However, the woman comes from a fairly modest family background. She attended a community or vocational college specializing in nursing and graduated with an associate degree, which is below a bachelor’s degree. In my country, it is more common for people to attend university and obtain at least a bachelor’s degree, though this can be expensive. From this, it can be inferred that she likely comes from a modest economic background.
That said, my friend appears genuinely happy in his marriage. Social status and education aside, his wife seems like an ideal woman: she has long hair, a pleasant personality, and is not dominant or “girlboss”-type. Almost every day, my friend posts on social media about the meals his wife cooks for him, which suggests a harmonious domestic life.
The second situation happened last month, in January of this year. Another friend of mine, who is 32 years old, married a woman who is 35 years old—three years older than him. She comes from a more affluent family background, as she attended an all-girls private Catholic high school and later graduated from an elite flagship university in this country with a bachelor’s degree in psychology (not merely an associate degree). However, this marriage does not appear to be smooth sailing. His wife has a very strong mind of her own, and even shortly before the wedding, my friend still had doubts about whether he should go through with it. By that point, however, it felt too late for him to back out.
Although I sincerely want this marriage to succeed, I notice how long-held expectations and wishes can influence the outcomes we experience in life. For a long time, this friend had stated that he wanted his future wife to be born in the capital city, work as a medical doctor, come from an old-money family, be physically attractive, be conversationally adept, independent yet not dominant, and have graduated from a Catholic school. It looks like most of his wishes come true.
The point, I think, is that as men, we cannot force reality to conform perfectly to our standards and ideals. We cannot expect to find a “perfect” woman who looks like a model, is completely loyal, comes from a wealthy family, and has top-tier education all at once. There will always be trade-offs, as illustrated by these real-life examples.
After reflecting on these situations, it seems to me that the first woman—who comes from a more modest background and has a lower level of formal education—may ultimately make a better wife than the second. However, I am still not entirely sure. There will always be compromises to make, and every choice inevitably comes with its own trade-offs.
Again, one thing that was never in question historically (or two) was youth/purity. It's literally the whole point of marriage. On these hang all the laws and prophets. The other stuff is nonsense fluff, for the most part, regardless of what others say they desire.
Yes, the young(er) one. Proving my point.
Many of those things are actually markers for something deeper.
The search should be modified to looking for a stable/well-disciplined family that is spiritually mature. Wealth can map to a stable/well-disciplined family, but not always. Women with "model looks" also correlates fairly strongly with stable/well-disciplined families. And loyalty? It goes without saying what kind of family can cultivate that.
All that being said, it is true that stable, well-disciplined and spiritually mature families are extremely rare these days.
I know many of us (including me) have this romanticized vision of finding a Christian tradwife, but I wouldn't rule out every secular woman either. They're not all sleeping around or some pyschotic boss babe. The right woman will want to follow your lead and go to church with you anyway, but you'd have to take it slower.
A lot of these Christian "tradwife" women are irritating for some reason. Their expectations are either insane, or they don't actually want to be truly traditional. But the man better be traditional for her. Just feels like a lot of phonies out there.
Some of the most pleasant, non slutty women I'm meeting lately don't even go to church. And some of the worst women are going to church.
Basically let this stuff happen organically with set expectations, dealbreakers, etc. But also get rid of this idea of finding a perfect Christian unicorn. I've met a few women that seemed like a perfect tradwife unicorn on paper, but their personalities are horrible.
A lot of these Christian "tradwife" women are irritating for some reason. Their expectations are either insane, or they don't actually want to be truly traditional. But the man better be traditional for her. Just feels like a lot of phonies out there.
Some of the most pleasant, non slutty women I'm meeting lately don't even go to church. And some of the worst women are going to church.
Basically let this stuff happen organically with set expectations, dealbreakers, etc. But also get rid of this idea of finding a perfect Christian unicorn. I've met a few women that seemed like a perfect tradwife unicorn on paper, but their personalities are horrible.
I think this approach is reasonable for many men. But there are certain critical red flags to watch out for according to Church tradition. The number one virtue I would look for in women is humility. If she has no willingness to change, to repent, and only wants to go her own way then that's a deal breaker from the start.
A potential wife doesn't need to be practicing Orthodox from the start, but she needs to be willing to grow and submit both to the law of God and to her husband.
Is she deceitful or manipulative? Does she seek to quarrel and foment chaos? Then she's also a no-go. King Solomon was very clear about this in Proverbs.
Anything else is a question of degrees. Does she get a little bit angry sometimes? Is she a little vain and likes nice things? These aren't necessarily deal breakers and are things that can be brought under control through prayer and humility, but you have to decide what you're comfortable with.
Unfortunately the vast majority of Western women today don't even have humility, which is the bare minimum.