Marriage / Established Relationships

[Gazza]

I live in western Europe in a non english speaking country. Thank god. I have a cousin who went to study in Scotland she started to call herself “they”. Now she is normal again. I have family in many english countries.

If you are asking if I have a maid because they are cheap? Nope. Due to a massive foreign influx. Prices are crazy up.

Like all services theres a shortage of labor. I think its because of unemployment benefits. I would cut all subisdies to people bellow 30 years old unless they have children or are sick.

Anyway In propotion on average salary Australia probably is cheaper. Its cheaper to have a maid in Australia compared to where I live in. And maybe even in total. Maids dont receive minimum salary. They receive above average salary. People keep thinking manual labor is cheap. Its not. Were not living in dickens tales anymore. At least in Europe. In Middle east, africa China, thai, etc its different.

I have a maid for my mental sanity. I asked my wife at dinner how much we were paying and she looked almost offended. And really surprised. Who gives a shit? Thats not my problem to handle. I dont want to handle. What i know its from my wife complaining.

I left my wedding ring on my bedtable. And the maid didnt steal it. My wife says they only steal shit we wont notice. But more 2-3 months she will start ironing clothes.
Even though she asked if we could send a box of old children clothes to Mozambiq. From this moment on. We know she wants to steal our kids clothes. But this wont happen with new closets.

When my wife fires the maid she spends the saturday pretending she can do all the house chores. Its funny. But her mood changes 100%. To bad.

You can hire a maid for hours. When i finish a house I pay a company per hour. In our house we only have referrals.

Not companies.

The biggest issue is not price. Its safety.

Russian is here. Time to work. Plumbing and electricity finished time to start putting cement on walls. I will try a method i saw in YT. For the cement sauce last guy who was here proportions: One general cement bucket. 3 Buckets of river sand. 1 yellow sand. 1 Bucket of water. Here we go. I add a little bit of impermeabilizant. In some walls. But the trick one old contractor did was add lime. But I dont know the proportions. I dont buy any of those ready shit. Next putting windowns door. Pladur on ceiling finish electricity. Plaster tiles. Paint. And its done. March is up to rent.

You hire a maid but you won’t hire a renderer?

 

[magoo]

You hire a maid but you won’t hire a renderer?

It´s actually quite satisfying. My wall looks better than the ones the russian did. I was going to make more during the weekend. But my throat hurts. There´s no windows and I was sweating the temperature dropped when the sun set and there´s a lot of wind corridors. The russian left and I kept doing it. My wife doesn´t allow me to go there until I get better.

I took more time than the russian because of the stupid YT method. You just have to splash the cement one time. Let it dry a little bit. And after pass the rectancular shit. You see the holes disappearing. I could do this everyday. I told the russian to bring another person tomorrow to make the sauce. Cause it´s rythme breaking. A lot of cement falls on the floor. But I pick it up. Put more water and splash it again. Booommm.

It´s like playing tennis. Iºm a fucking Pete Sampras. I really enjoyed it. And tomorrow if I feel better I will go back. Russian only plays Pig Pong. But he understood and laughed. He also asked me shouldnt I be wearing a suit and tie. I answered I hate suits and ties.

Incredible how you pay so much money for people to do something so simple. It´s 100% just paying time.

You think I´m going to be overpriced 1000% to do a stupid simple cement rendering? Nope. The contractor wanted 3-4 weeks to do something that takes 3-4 days. Loool. No way. Those days are gone. And I will make cement corniches. Yeah. I´m not buying those plaster shit. Already made one.
One of the walls is stone. So the russian goes into circuitbreaker on how to rrender it. I looked at the wall and thought you just have to fill it with little stones. Instead of splashing tons of cement in it. I told him I would do that wall. Hopefully I´m better tomorrow. I will add lime. Lime is important in stone walls because it gives elasticity and breathe. Thinking about it. I could put a timber board. And dump cement with stones into it. Leave it drying. Just how you do concrete. And next day just splash it normally.

You can tel the level of IQ is really low. Cause construction people can only do one way they learned before. Drones.

I lost 3kg this week. And will lose more this month. My target is minimum 10kg and I will achieve it.

Read this book:

Amazon.com

How to Be Rich, by Getty​

It´s not about getting rich. It´s staying rich.

Now I´m off to the beach.

 

[Samseau]

Since I wrote this post, everything has just kept getting worse. It feels like our whole family is right at the breaking point where everything is going to explode.

I’m at the point where I simply can’t stand my family anymore, every day I think about how I regret marrying my wife, she and the two kids irritate the heck out of me most of the time, and general day to day life is unstable chaos filled with conflict. I don’t want to be around them if I can avoid it. None of them listen to or respect me, anyway, and any attempt I make to assert authority or take charge just makes everything worse. It doesn’t help that “leadership” doesn’t come naturally to me, I’m an INTJ personality type who tends to function best when I’m fixated on some task or goal I’m deeply motivated toward. Guys with my personality type and talents tend to make for skilled artists of some sort. But not very good husbands/fathers. So I’ve got that working against me.

I still do all the chores, boy sleeps worse than ever, my wife is still astoundingly incompetent at virtually everything, and I have absolutely nothing in common with them.

I wish we had an Orthodox family and tried to focus on spiritual things and stuff real and tangible, like for instance gardening or growing things, or visiting monasteries or that sort of thing. My wife just wants to take a trip to a theme park and watch garbage TV shows and movies on her phone between endless scrolling through social media. In general, I’m focused on trying to have a stable and productive day to day life and routine, while she’s focused on unrealistic or shallow nonsense and buying useless junk that adds to the ever-escalating clutter of our house.

I have absolutely no desire for more kids since we (especially she) can’t manage the ones we already have. I don’t want to be divorced but I don’t know how my family can possibly continue like this.

Being Orthodox is just one more pain point, when we met and married we were both evangelicals who basically believed the same thing, but then I got into Orthodoxy and she had no interest in following me, mostly because of rather shallow reasons (you can’t dump your kids in a nursery at Orthodoxy Church!) rather than much concrete theological objection. Trying to talk about my faith with her is so fruitless and generally just creates more ground for animosity so I’ve basically just stopped.

My wife and her in laws take the two kids (who haven’t been baptized) to the local mega church while I go to Orthodox Church. This might be just a trial of patience and endurance if I was getting anywhere myself, but four years into being Orthodox, I’m worse than ever. I not only have not had improvement aim regards to sexual sin, anger, gluttony, avarice, and so on, I’m worse at these and everything else by any objective measure.

So in other words the family situation is bad and getting worse, I’m bad and getting worse, and nobody I talk to at church or elsewhere has had any helpful insight or advice beyond superficially nice sounding but ultimately useless platitudes. I’m burnt out, exhausted, and since nothing I try at home or in my faith is working, I just feel like giving up because there’s no point in trying anymore.

Brother, I think the #1 thing you gotta try is to date your wife and rebuild some kind of relationship with her. All relationships take maintenance, and you should aim for a date at least once a week with her. Otherwise things will just get more and more miserable at home. It's worth a shot to save your marriage.