You hire a maid but you won’t hire a renderer?
Marriage / Established Relationships
- Thread starter Steady Hands
- Start date
It´s actually quite satisfying. My wall looks better than the ones the russian did. I was going to make more during the weekend. But my throat hurts. There´s no windows and I was sweating the temperature dropped when the sun set and there´s a lot of wind corridors. The russian left and I kept doing it. My wife doesn´t allow me to go there until I get better.
I took more time than the russian because of the stupid YT method. You just have to splash the cement one time. Let it dry a little bit. And after pass the rectancular shit. You see the holes disappearing. I could do this everyday. I told the russian to bring another person tomorrow to make the sauce. Cause it´s rythme breaking. A lot of cement falls on the floor. But I pick it up. Put more water and splash it again. Booommm.
It´s like playing tennis. Iºm a fucking Pete Sampras. I really enjoyed it. And tomorrow if I feel better I will go back. Russian only plays Pig Pong. But he understood and laughed. He also asked me shouldnt I be wearing a suit and tie. I answered I hate suits and ties.
Incredible how you pay so much money for people to do something so simple. It´s 100% just paying time.
You think I´m going to be overpriced 1000% to do a stupid simple cement rendering? Nope. The contractor wanted 3-4 weeks to do something that takes 3-4 days. Loool. No way. Those days are gone. And I will make cement corniches. Yeah. I´m not buying those plaster shit. Already made one.
One of the walls is stone. So the russian goes into circuitbreaker on how to rrender it. I looked at the wall and thought you just have to fill it with little stones. Instead of splashing tons of cement in it. I told him I would do that wall. Hopefully I´m better tomorrow. I will add lime. Lime is important in stone walls because it gives elasticity and breathe. Thinking about it. I could put a timber board. And dump cement with stones into it. Leave it drying. Just how you do concrete. And next day just splash it normally.
You can tel the level of IQ is really low. Cause construction people can only do one way they learned before. Drones.
I lost 3kg this week. And will lose more this month. My target is minimum 10kg and I will achieve it.
Read this book:
How to Be Rich, by Getty
It´s not about getting rich. It´s staying rich.
Now I´m off to the beach.
Last edited:
Brother, I think the #1 thing you gotta try is to date your wife and rebuild some kind of relationship with her. All relationships take maintenance, and you should aim for a date at least once a week with her. Otherwise things will just get more and more miserable at home. It's worth a shot to save your marriage.
Last edited:
I'm almost at this point, honestly. Since it doesn't fit with my Orthodox beliefs, I will likely remain single and celibate for the rest of my life. Such a sickening Talmudic controlled society we live in.
Just to give a little update, this is actually exactly what we've been doing lately, and it has helped a lot. Having weekly date time with my wife has helped me remember why I liked her in the first place and done a lot toward me being more favorably disposed toward her. We've also had more intimate time recently - not a massive amount, but certainly more than before, so that's also helped.
The various issues with family operation are still a total mess with no resolution in sight, but at least I'm less cranky toward my wife. On the other hand, the kids aggravate me more than ever, and my spiritual life has got to be at an all-time low. Not only have I lost even the slightest motivation to try to get my family to care about Orthodoxy at all, I've lost my own motivation, being frustrated the absolute futility of my own spiritual state and nonexistent progress or improvement in my life despite trying to append the rigors of the prayer rule/church services/readings/especially fasting, on top of the headache of family life, work, and various other things.
It's not like my intellectual opinion of Orthodoxy has changed or I don't think it's true anymore, I just feel like it's completely laughable trying to live like that in my circumstances. When you're someone like Roosh who can dedicate himself to going full monk mode or a married couple that run a tight ship with disciplined kids and an orderly household it's possible, but I clearly can't live up to that and can't help that feel like even comparatively mild attempts to live as the solo Orthodox person in my family has just added to the strain and fracturing in my family. When I try to bring up anything like this with the priests at church I get encouragement to just keep struggling but it just feels superficial and ultimately unhelpful.
Well, you are making progress. That is a big deal. You must understand, growth is never easy or stable. Often times in life when we struggle, and it feels futile, is actually when you are developing the most.
Don't worry if you are the perfect Orthodox Christian. What matters is making it to Church on Sundays as often as possible. Doesn't matter if you are late (as long as you don't miss communion!!). Doesn't matter if you can bring your wife, or even your kids. First thing you need to do is bring yourself. Divine liturgy is the only service that will keep your soul grounded in God. All of your prayers will be heard and answered during service.
You might think, "this is pointless, nothing is happening, I have no idea what's going on." But in reality, deep changes are taking root in yourself that you are unaware of.
Think of your faith as a tree. When you first plant a tree, tiny shoots come out, and a sapling is born. At first, it's very exciting, because where there was once dirt, there is a small stick growing out of the ground and some baby leaves.
This new seedling begins to grow quickly, and it is very exciting to watch. Each day brings more progress, more growth, more branches, leaves, and size. Within a few years, suddenly, the sapling has turned into a small, young tree:
But now the exciting part is over. This new young tree remains in this state for years, and nothing really happens. Years later, the tree looks exactly the same, with no visible changes. Many trees die at this stage for no reason. This is a most critical stage when the tree needs tons of nutrients, sunlight, and care, or else it will not survive into an adult tree capable of bearing fruit.
The reason why the young tree is such a critical stage is because this is when the hardest part of growth occurs, the greatest struggle, which is establishing deep roots capable of sustaining a large, fruit bearing tree.
Pushing roots through hard soil, rocky ground, with dry conditions is very difficult, and most trees are unable to take root. Thus, they wither and die without constant attention, despite the fact that above ground, nothing seems to change. In reality, this is the most important part of a tree's life cycle, yet none of it is visible. It's all underground, where the most important foundations of a tree are laid. For without strong, deep roots, there is no way for the tree to grow further above ground.
Any experienced arbor nursery knows to feed a young tree with abundant nutrients, water, and to keep away pests during this critical stage. This is to help the tree establish the roots it needs to support a mature, beautiful, and long lasting life above ground. Once the roots are laid, the rest comes easy.
As visual creatures, we are obsessed with the beautiful and what we can see. Yet it is the parts that we cannot see which are by far the most important. The things we see are just the products of the important processes that go unseen.
So too, then, it is the same with a person's faith. When someone is brought into the Church, and baptized, a brand new seed of faith is planted in them, and begins to germinate quickly. The new convert quickly begins to absorb the Church's teachings and wisdom, and sees changes in himself. He sees a new inner peace he never thought possible, he begins to experience God for the first time in his life and it feels like a tremendous burden is lifted in the soul. This new tree of faith quickly reaches out of the soul and grows leaves towards God, soaking in a holy energy they never knew before.
However, after the early years are over, it seems the growth stops; spiritually everything feels and appears the same, nothing new is learnt, the soul waivers in faith and yet no solace is forthcoming. It is at this moment when most new converts give up the faith, and thousands fall away, because their faith fails to take root at this critical stage. They are discouraged, not understanding that true faith is more than an experience, but, a "way, truth, and life,"
A truth that is not understood, but lived as a way; one must put their faith in Christ and continue to follow Him, even when they do not know where they are going or how they will get there. To illustrate this point, consider the example of Saint John the Dwarf:
The years spent trusting in the Lord without knowing the outcome is the time when someone's faith truly takes root in their soul, with deep, powerful shoots, that stretch far under the earth, and yet none of this growth is seen, felt, or understood. It is through years of struggle and adversity, when it seems most impossible to keep one's faith, that one truly begins to understand what faith means, and starts practicing the way of Christ. When you have learned to keep your faith in spite of difficulties, through patience, prayer, and repentance, then, after years of no change, you will finally notice that you are maturing, that your faith goes beyond words and expressions, and suddenly, you will bear fruit to others.
At this point, you will be able to show others the way; others will seek to inquire about your beliefs and practices, your family will follow you, you will invite others to Church with you, and you will discover yourself to be a completely new human being than the one who was first baptized years and decades ago, although the change was completely imperceptible.
So do not worry, continue to go to Divine Liturgy, read scripture when you can (and especially during service), and dabble in the Saints picking up bits of wisdom here and there. Just keep nourishing the faith in your soul, and God will take care of the rest.
Last edited:
7 Years?! Oh boy
Iakobos
Orthodox
I relate a lot. Things that are basic for lifelong Christians, Orthodox or not, such as attending services regularly, daily prayer and being a contributing member of a community, are still very challenging for me coming off over a decade as a selfish hedonistic atheist, despite being years into my conversion. Which makes me feel like a failure often. I also find that my priest, bless him, rarely gives me actionable advice other than pray more and participate in the sacraments more (which is completely correct of course). It's frustrating because I'd love him to fix my problems for me but really the solution is in front of me whenever I can be stirred from day-to-day distractions to focus on the spiritual.
I see a bit of bitterness seeping through when you say it's "laughable" to live the Orthodox life as prescribed; while it's very hard for people like us, I'd encourage you to simply admit to yourself that you are too weak to do better and keep God in your heart and make small steps when you can. It's a trick of the demons to lure us into despondency by fixating on how far we are from where we should be and feeling it's hopeless.
Well, you are making progress. That is a big deal. You must understand, growth is never easy or stable. Often times in life when we struggle, and it feels futile, is actually when you are developing the most.
Don't worry if you are the perfect Orthodox Christian. What matters is making it to Church on Sundays as often as possible. Doesn't matter if you are late (as long as you don't miss communion!!). Doesn't matter if you can bring your wife, or even your kids. First thing you need to do is bring yourself. Divine liturgy is the only service that will keep your soul grounded in God. All of your prayers will be heard and answered during service.
You might think, "this is pointless, nothing is happening, I have no idea what's going on." But in reality, deep changes are taking root in yourself that you are unaware of.
Think of your faith as a tree. When you first plant a tree, tiny shoots come out, and a sapling is born. At first, it's very exciting, because where there was once dirt, there is a small stick growing out of the ground and some baby leaves.
This new seedling begins to grow quickly, and it is very exciting to watch. Each day brings more progress, more growth, more branches, leaves, and size. Within a few years, suddenly, the sapling has turned into a small, young tree:
But now the exciting part is over. This new young tree remains in this state for years, and nothing really happens. Years later, the tree looks exactly the same, with no visible changes. Many trees die at this stage for no reason. This is a most critical stage when the tree needs tons of nutrients, sunlight, and care, or else it will not survive into an adult tree capable of bearing fruit.
The reason why the young tree is such a critical stage is because this is when the hardest part of growth occurs, the greatest struggle, which is establishing deep roots capable of sustaining a large, fruit bearing tree.
Pushing roots through hard soil, rocky ground, with dry conditions is very difficult, and most trees are unable to take root. Thus, they wither and die without constant attention, despite the fact that above ground, nothing seems to change. In reality, this is the most important part of a tree's life cycle, yet none of it is visible. It's all underground, where the most important foundations of a tree are laid. For without strong, deep roots, there is no way for the tree to grow further above ground.
Any experienced arbor nursery knows to feed a young tree with abundant nutrients, water, and to keep away pests during this critical stage. This is to help the tree establish the roots it needs to support a mature, beautiful, and long lasting life above ground. Once the roots are laid, the rest comes easy.
As visual creatures, we are obsessed with the beautiful and what we can see. Yet it is the parts that we cannot see which are by far the most important. The things we see are just the products of the important processes that go unseen.
So too, then, it is the same with a person's faith. When someone is brought into the Church, and baptized, a brand new seed of faith is planted in them, and begins to germinate quickly. The new convert quickly begins to absorb the Church's teachings and wisdom, and sees changes in himself. He sees a new inner peace he never thought possible, he begins to experience God for the first time in his life and it feels like a tremendous burden is lifted in the soul. This new tree of faith quickly reaches out of the soul and grows leaves towards God, soaking in a holy energy they never knew before.
However, after the early years are over, it seems the growth stops; spiritually everything feels and appears the same, nothing new is learnt, the soul waivers in faith and yet no solace is forthcoming. It is at this moment when most new converts give up the faith, and thousands fall away, because their faith fails to take root at this critical stage. They are discouraged, not understanding that true faith is more than an experience, but, a "way, truth, and life,"
A truth that is not understood, but lived as a way; one must put their faith in Christ and continue to follow Him, even when they do not know where they are going or how they will get there. To illustrate this point, consider the example of Saint John the Dwarf:
The years spent trusting in the Lord without knowing the outcome is the time when someone's faith truly takes root in their soul, with deep, powerful shoots, that stretch far under the earth, and yet none of this growth is seen, felt, or understood. It is through years of struggle and adversity, when it seems most impossible to keep one's faith, that one truly begins to understand what faith means, and starts practicing the way of Christ. When you have learned to keep your faith in spite of difficulties, through patience, prayer, and repentance, then, after years of no change, you will finally notice that you are maturing, that your faith goes beyond words and expressions, and suddenly, you will bear fruit to others.
At this point, you will be able to show others the way; others will seek to inquire about your beliefs and practices, your family will follow you, you will invite others to Church with you, and you will discover yourself to be a completely new human being than the one who was first baptized years and decades ago, although the change was completely imperceptible.
So do not worry, continue to go to Divine Liturgy, read scripture when you can (and especially during service), and dabble in the Saints picking up bits of wisdom here and there. Just keep nourishing the faith in your soul, and God will take care of the rest.
Thank you for these beautiful words.
Cross-posting here.. This is such an important observation.
Locking his wife in a room until she stopped being a retard, and he had the support of the entire society.
What else was a man allowed to do back in the day to temper female behaviour and what were appropriate misdemeanors which warranted it?