Wait you’re telling me I need to start gaming guys as well now?
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Making friends
- Thread starter canuckj
- Start date
Yup. It's all about solid frame, using negs, establishing congruence, etc. No establishing kino though.
True. I am in my early 30s now, just moved to a different state and I don't really look for friends, I already have a ton that I visit the next state over on a semi regular basis. Seems the older I get the more I enjoy alone time, messing around at home on various hobbies.
Another one I would add, although this doesn't jive with some, but you can make friends by getting into a Dungeons and Dragons group. Some of the guys at my work do that, they get together once a week at a specific time so they can work around schedules, kids etc.
What also starts to get funnier is the number of friends you have that are increasingly in worse physical shape that just can't drink booze at all anymore without feeling awful. I mean, sort of embarrassing levels of hangover as if they are dying. I've noticed this is especially bad with the overweight types, which there are many beyond 40 years of age these days.
Even though I just made fun of these guys in another thread for being full-on betas, I wouldn't mind joining a D&D group if the guys in that group were halfway normal. I honestly do miss the world-building and escapism of that game. I remember very clearly being around 15 and learning with my friends how to play. I bought all the books and a few of the modules and for the next 6 months or so, I got really into it.
And then I entered junior high and discovered girls. And that was the end of that.
So for the past umpteen years, I've had a hankering to continue where I left off. If I could do this and meet new friends in the process, I'd be up for it.
Dungeons and Dragons may be a way to make new friends, but a sure-fire way to lose any you had. (Joking)
What ticks me off is that the churches don't seem to wanna help, even though they know there is a loneliness epidemic right now in the US and elsewhere. There is one single church where I live that offers a consistent men's group. Just one. And they have hundreds of guys who show up every week. It's a certain type of man that goes there though...military, etc and not guys I usually get along with, or I would continue going myself. But it just goes to show you that if they can pull in those kinds of numbers on a weekday night to one church, there is a huge demand for this.
And yet other churches don't seem to care. They all have short-term thinking...how can we increase the people coming to our Sunday services? The thing is, no single people attend service. It's not a place to meet a good Christian woman, and it's boring to go alone. So, they are effectively ignoring a huge part of their congregation. If they all had single groups or men's and women's groups, they'd increase the chance that these people would go together to service on Sunday. But they are either too stupid to realize this or just don't care about single people.
Funny you say this. There are small groups for men springing up here. Mostly of the 'Spiritual' kind, goofy stuff like yoga and breathing exercises, but there is clearly a demand for men to get together and be themselves.
Perhaps I need to start my own or something...
I found my group of friends by going to a cigar shop and talking to some of the guys about the Gospel as we were watching the Presidential debates. Turns out they were like-minded Christians who hosted their own Bible study at the cigar shop.
I've made other friends by doing the same thing in other places. I've gone to the bar to play a game of poker, started talking about the Gospel and made other friends there too.
The Christians are out there. They need encouragement. Be the one to give it to them.
Connection is important but I believe making friends has to be a corollary of an engagement in higher priorities, such as seeking God and pursuing your career/passions. I think C.S. Lewis said something to that affect. The fear of loneliness bringeth a snare. This is something I have to remind myself.
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You have to inject yourself in social situations, into hobby groups where you have similar interests to start dialogue, for example the gym is a good place for this. You have to present yourself well and be social, you have to come off as a strong good person somebody that people want to have in their lives. I just recently turned 40 lately I've made some new friends in situations I didn't expect to, I've found that it's just about being someone that people want to be around and having something to offer in peoples lives. People will gravitate towards you if you present yourself well, have value, if youre a kind person and strong.