I didn't say "don't improve yourself", just follow what makes you fulfilled. I think 20 years ago the advice of "suck it up and provide a better future for your children" was solid advice. My parents were able to do that, as were my grandparents and so on. We just can no longer take for granted that we still live in a vacuum and if we work hard our kids will have a better future. The future is very dim, especially in the USA. Heck, the present is very dim, I shudder to think of the future.
I work in a field I find no joy or pleasure in at all. It leads to deep depression at times, and I am just constantly counting the days until I think I can get out of the field. I can't imagine being of this mindset and trying to create a happy/stable home for children. I couldn't do it. At the same time, I don't see anything else that interests me enough to jump ship. Everything is full of sky high barriers, such as DEI hiring practices, criminally high education prices, unstable work environment/economy, and the constant influx of change making the job more and more challenging.
I guess, all in all, my advice is to find your path. The days of just sucking it up and your kids will live better is over. You can still suck it up, be miserable, and your kids survive but also be miserable. That isn't how I want to live and that isn't how I want my children to live either.
If anyone sees a specific path out of this cyclical nightmare, please feel free to share. If there is a field/investment that escapes these pitfalls, I am all ears. It may not work for me, but at least I will feel comfortable giving advice to young people again. When young people ask me for advice today, I tell them medical, because that is one field that will only grow. I wouldn't want to do it myself, so maybe that is the path forward for many others.
I guess it just goes back to, is it worth it to bust your ass? Depends 100% on the rewards of doing so. I know people who have been rewarded for it and others who have been taken advantage of. I have been taken advantage of, so I am now at a point where I am doing as little as possible and counting the days. It isn't a great way to live, but it beats working on my few vacation days, losing vacation days, and waking up at 4:00 AM to get to the office first, all to get 0 promotions in 20 years.
I have been getting some likes on this post and reading back over it and discovering a few things since the time I posted this, I had some more insight I wanted to share.
At the end of the day, I think our goal is to find purpose in life. I hear the term "find our purpose" and for each of us it is different. Though, I think many men don't find "their purpose", because at the very base of it all, a man's purpose is to defend his family, and we don't really defend our families in a traditional sense. We do so financially, as afforded to us, in a self-destructing society where we are mostly powerless to stop the self-destruction.
If your career gives you purpose. And you will know it when you feel it, it makes you excited to get out of bed, put in extra time to growing in that field, a real passion, then yes, it pays greatly to bust your ass. It is bigger than money at that point, go for it. For most of us, a job is just a slow grind that is a necessary evil. IF busting your ass will give you little in return, outside of money, I suggest you do your minimum requirements and spend your time finding something that excites you more. That might take years, be patient with his process of finding an more meaningful existence. I feel I am now just discovering this better path, I don't even know if it will give me a better financial option, but it feels right and I am going for it, and that feels great. It is outside my current professional field, so eventually I will make a move, if things prove to work well. If not, I don't have too many more years to tough it out in my career.
Working a job/career you loath is tough. Getting out of that situation is a big win, don't give up on it, put your extra energy into getting out v. trying to climb the corporate ladder and end up having to push diversity mandates on your subordinates and feeling sick about it after 5 PM.
I post on this for two reasons...
#1) Getting up and grinding it out for 45 years is admirable, it will give your children and opportunity to have a better life, and it is commendable. But, at the same time, if you don't give up on yourself, you are capable of more than just grinding it out for 45 years. You are capable and deserving of a life that offers more and a job that will give you more than a paycheck in exchange for most your waking hours. I highly suggest looking for this more rewarding path and be VERY patient with the process. As you age, and financial security becomes more realistic, the opportunities to leave behind the grind will increase.
#2) We all have a shared purpose, of serving our Lord and Savior and fighting the satanic evil that is taken ahold of the western world. And every little thing we do is a small battle we win against this satanic elite. And finding a purpose and sharing that with the world is a big battle won against these satanic elites. I'm not a capitalist, but capitalism is the engine my enemies chose to use over us, so let's flip it on them. Find something that makes you really want to push, where money will just appear without you even realizing how or why and use that against the satanic elites. Spreading this motivation and confidence to the next generation is a big win.