How to properly date / court as a Christian being formerly in "game"

[Douglas Quaid]

That's great advice. Thanks for sharing. I will have to decide if it's worth the investment, and our future interractions will be interesting. We usually see each other a couple times a week. I will be honest though, and I could just be too much of a hardass, but there are some things that will always raise caution and be in the back of my mind. That gut feeling to back off I was talking about earlier.

On Sunday she was flirting with the married pastor after service. Another friend sitting next to me even said something about it. That was actually what made me decide to stop pursuing.

I certainly have my own problems, and will take your advice to heart. I think it would be more beneficial to apply it to some of the other women I'm meeting, and use this girl as a learning lesson.

 

[Steady Hands]

That's great advice. Thanks for sharing. I will have to decide if it's worth the investment, and our future interractions will be interesting. We usually see each other a couple times a week. I will be honest though, and I could just be too much of a hardass, but there are some things that will always raise caution and be in the back of my mind. That gut feeling to back off I was talking about earlier.

On Sunday she was flirting with the married pastor after service. Another friend sitting next to me even said something about it. That was actually what made me decide to stop pursuing.

I certainly have my own problems, and will take your advice to heart. I think it would be more beneficial to apply it to some of the other women I'm meeting, and use this girl as a learning lesson.

I'm glad to read this.

I think it would be more beneficial to apply it to some of the other women I'm meeting, and use this girl as a learning lesson

That's a great conclusion to take away. I look forward to reading more of your updates.

 

[Australia Sucks]

Douglas we all know on this forum that its more productive to go fishing where the fish are.

If you are serious about marriage you are better off to save some money and then go live in an Orthodox Christian country for a few years to find a worthwhile woman to marry. I would avoid the Balkans due to extreme nationalism so maybe countries like Belarus, Russia, Ukraine (once the war is finished), Romania, Moldova, Georgia, etc might be worthwhile places to investigate.

Any young virginal attractive woman in the west who is open to getting married is going to be swamped by thousands of suitors and their ego and pride will be very inflated. Better to save your time, sanity and energy and take up the quest in a more promising country.

 

[Douglas Quaid]

Douglas we all know on this forum that its more productive to go fishing where the fish are.

If you are serious about marriage you are better off to save some money and then go live in an Orthodox Christian country for a few years to find a worthwhile woman to marry. I would avoid the Balkans due to extreme nationalism so maybe countries like Belarus, Russia, Ukraine (once the war is finished), Romania, Moldova, Georgia, etc might be worthwhile places to investigate.

Any young virginal attractive woman in the west who is open to getting married is going to be swamped by thousands of suitors and their ego and pride will be very inflated. Better to save your time, sanity and energy and take up the quest in a more promising country.

If someone wants to do that, I wouldn't blame them at all. The odds do seem to be better, especially once you're established.

It is smart to be cautious in the West, even at church. One of my friends has tried several times and over multiple years to be with this 27-28 year old woman. Well he finally starts dating her then she breaks up with him about a month into it. I had a feeling this would happen to him too. The funny thing is he's like 6'3, in good shape, has a house and lots of money, basically a church Chad these Christian girls supposedly want. She did the same thing to his friend that's tall, in shape and has lots of money too. There's actually a long list of guys she's done this to. So while she's still a virgin, she's damaged in a different way. And I think the same for the other woman I was talking about above.

But I do see happy guys at church. I think the things we talk about need to be reiterated though. No male attention from "friends", social media, flirting, etc. Showing lots of skin is another big red flag in my opinion. And I really do think once these single Christian women get over 25, it does something to their brain and makes them insufferable. Not always, but most of the time.

 

[Shaquilleoatmeal]

Felt like putting this somewhere:



This is a tough pill to swallow for most men. Natural alphas can fornicate in their teens and 20s and get a wife with a low notch count.

Roosh and Samseau are late bloomers so in order for them to “get their fill,” both of them wasted their prime marriage years (for men late 20s to mid 30s).

In order for a man to eat his cake and have it, starting early (in high school or earlier) is a must.

It’s relevant because women are wary of age gaps and a man’s past. Women judge men on their past too.

 

[GrecoRoman]

Felt like putting this somewhere:



This is a tough pill to swallow for most men. Natural alphas can fornicate in their teens and 20s and get a wife with a low notch count.

Roosh and Samseau are late bloomers so in order for them to “get their fill,” both of them wasted their prime marriage years (for men late 20s to mid 30s).

In order for a man to eat his cake and have it, starting early (in high school or earlier) is a must.

It’s relevant because women are wary of age gaps and a man’s past. Women judge men on their past too.

Yes, I can say over 35 unmarried men are somewhat looked on with suspicion, but we shouldn’t expect women to see it from the man’s side. Considering the divorce rape and bad choices, women just chalk it up to ‘something is wrong with him’ or ‘he’s gay’ instead of many men not marrying for what I see as logical societal reasons.

On the positive side I will say it’s a massive green flag if she brings up these issues due to greater understanding or maybe seeing a male sibling or relative experience the situation on the ground.

I knew many guys in high school who kind of ‘banged them out’ and then settled down. It gets harder with age.

The other detriment is that it is possible to keep the fornication going even into middle age because of feminism. It’s not all sunshine and roses. Even the men who had their fill and settled down may cheat later in life.

 

[analyst_green]

Felt like putting this somewhere:



This is a tough pill to swallow for most men. Natural alphas can fornicate in their teens and 20s and get a wife with a low notch count.

Roosh and Samseau are late bloomers so in order for them to “get their fill,” both of them wasted their prime marriage years (for men late 20s to mid 30s).

In order for a man to eat his cake and have it, starting early (in high school or earlier) is a must.

It’s relevant because women are wary of age gaps and a man’s past. Women judge men on their past too.

Many of these "alphas" could find a great wife, but they're not very smart and often make horrible choices. Just look at Tom Brady. To fornicate they had to sell their soul to the devil. And their minds belong to the Jews with all their feminist slop. That's what happens when you're around harlots all the time. Sin doesn't come without a price.

Roosh was around 40 when he became Orthodox. If Roosh had discovered Orthodoxy 5 to 10 years earlier, things could have been very different for him. I think a guy with game like him still has great chances, but the problem is his standards are exceedingly high. He even said he turned down many women for relationships.

 

[Douglas Quaid]

Yeah it's pretty wild to see many of these successful Chads (like Tom Brady as an example) marry a woman that's been sleeping around and posting half naked pictures all over Instagram. These guys could easily have married a nice virgin in her early 20s and had a pleasant, drama free life. I would say most of them make a terrible choice with the woman they marry.

 

[Seng Hock]

This tall, very kind, good-looking guy in the choir was dressed in a beautiful shiny white and gold vestment. About halfway through the service, he started reading something for the service.

Well, that bored-looking goth girl perked right up. She immediately stared at him and didn't look away the whole time he was reading. She was mesmerized by this handsome, Godly guy in a shiny white vestment reading scriptural wisdom.

Looking at this passage, instead of seeing it as good news, I am disappointed that even church women respond to the alpha male archetype. If that man were an average Billy Beta or Brad Neckbeard, I don’t think he would garner the woman’s attention, no matter how godly or filled with the Holy Spirit he is, or how well he can speak in tongues.

Now there seems to be a new subset of alpha dudes. In the past, we had Chad and Tyrone, but now Seraphim Thundercock has joined the game as well.

The next step for him, since it’s established that she is interested in him and possibly open to advancing, is to game her and see how it goes. He already has his passive game on track; now he needs to demonstrate his active game and seal the deal.​

 

[Giordano Bruno]

Looking at this passage, instead of seeing it as good news, I am disappointed that even church women respond to the alpha male archetype. If that man were an average Billy Beta or Brad Neckbeard, I don’t think he would garner the woman’s attention, no matter how godly or filled with the Holy Spirit he is, or how well he can speak in tongues.

Why be disappointed?

What man doesn't want to be a Chad?

Instead of envying your neighbours, pray diligently and improve yourself.

We can all be Chads.

It's the only way we can become hard men in a world designed to sabotage and weaken us.

 

[Thomas More]

Looking at this passage, instead of seeing it as good news, I am disappointed that even church women respond to the alpha male archetype. If that man were an average Billy Beta or Brad Neckbeard, I don’t think he would garner the woman’s attention, no matter how godly or filled with the Holy Spirit he is, or how well he can speak in tongues.

Now there seems to be a new subset of alpha dudes. In the past, we had Chad and Tyrone, but now Seraphim Thundercock has joined the game as well.

The next step for him, since it’s established that she is interested in him and possibly open to advancing, is to game her and see how it goes. He already has his passive game on track; now he needs to demonstrate his active game and seal the deal.​

Church women and church men will still prefer better looking mates, with strong masculine or feminine characteristics respectively. They should be focused more on Godliness than secular people would, and on long term mate value, but that won't eliminate basic attractiveness.

 

[Mrs TexasJenn]

Looking at this passage, instead of seeing it as good news, I am disappointed that even church women respond to the alpha male archetype. If that man were an average Billy Beta or Brad Neckbeard, I don’t think he would garner the woman’s attention, no matter how godly or filled with the Holy Spirit he is, or how well he can speak in tongues.

Now there seems to be a new subset of alpha dudes. In the past, we had Chad and Tyrone, but now Seraphim Thundercock has joined the game as well.

The next step for him, since it’s established that she is interested in him and possibly open to advancing, is to game her and see how it goes. He already has his passive game on track; now he needs to demonstrate his active game and seal the deal.​

Well, she's not a church woman - she was the guest of a woman getting baptized. And yeah, I agree with @Thomas More that women generally are more attracted to the best specimens, just as men are. That's just natural.

This guy is nice-looking and tall, but he's the sweetest, humblest guy. I'm 99% sure he was so absorbed in the reading that he didn't even notice this girl staring at him. Someday I might tell him the story. I imagine he would only blush.

Realistically, it's unlikely the girl will come back to the church. I was just happy that a clearly devout member of the church gave her something to think about.

Why be disappointed?

What man doesn't want to be a Chad?

Instead of envying your neighbours, pray diligently and improve yourself.

We can all be Chads.

It's the only way we can become hard men in a world designed to sabotage and weaken us.

Amen to that! One of the coolest things about my husband is that most of the time he has no idea what a Chad he is and can be. There's probably no way I ever would have landed him if weren't so humble, gentle, and kind.

 

[Read_Lives_of_Saints]

Now there seems to be a new subset of alpha dudes. In the past, we had Chad and Tyrone, but now Seraphim Thundercock has joined the game as well.​

Don't doxx me, bro!

 

[Seng Hock]

Why be disappointed?

What man doesn't want to be a Chad?

Instead of envying your neighbours, pray diligently and improve yourself.

Because that means what the red pill says is true, and being a nice guy—or a godly guy, in this case—only works if a woman is first attracted to us through our appearance. If we’re neckbeards, then it means a woman will not care about our achievements, other qualities, or how close we are to God. This is why, in the example above, the man is portrayed as tall, good-looking, well-dressed, and of high social status by reading the scriptures in front of the church. This proves the red pill was right.​

Well, she's not a church woman - she was the guest of a woman getting baptized. And yeah, I agree with @Thomas More that women generally are more attracted to the best specimens, just as men are. That's just natural.

Thanks for the clarification.

Amen to that! One of the coolest things about my husband is that most of the time he has no idea what a Chad he is and can be. There's probably no way I ever would have landed him if weren't so humble, gentle, and kind.

Yeah, I figured as much. Based on the posts on this forum, this is what I can gather about Doulos:

• I’ve read somewhere that women who are not very feminine tend to pair with average Joes who are not very masculine, while conservative, feminine women tend to pair with masculine men with high testosterone. By this virtue alone, Doulos must be traditionally masculine or high-T.
• Usually, traditional conservative women also abide by traditional gender roles, such as being homemakers. This implies that Doulos has a large income or enough money to support a family on his own.
• He is not vaxxed, which means he has the courage to rebel against authority.
• He discovered Orthodoxy on his own, which shows he stands up for what is true and doesn’t let others’ opinions affect him.
• He managed to get several powerful forum members under his wing and become the primus inter pares, such as Valentine, Steady Hands, Truck Driver, Scorpion, and Thomas. Basically, he is the new Roosh. However, the most extraordinary part is that he managed to get Samseau—the man with boundless merit and arguably the strongest forum member—to serve under him.
• And this all comes naturally to him and looks effortless.

 

[Mrs TexasJenn]

Because that means what the red pill says is true, and being a nice guy—or a godly guy, in this case—only works if a woman is first attracted to us through our appearance. If we’re neckbeards, then it means a woman will not care about our achievements, other qualities, or how close we are to God. This is why, in the example above, the man is portrayed as tall, good-looking, well-dressed, and of high social status by reading the scriptures in front of the church. This proves the red pill was right.​

It works both ways. Most men will favor the same good-looking women far above the average or less good-looking women. Some men and women are born with desirable physical qualities. That's a gift from God. The difference with Godly people is they try to learn that all gifts are from God, to be used in His service. God sees the heart much more than the body. Godly people strive to do this as well - but the fact is we're still human and prone to human weakness, including tending to see the body more than the heart.

I have friends who are very focused on appearance, and others who aren't. I've never been too focused on it - though of course I appreciate how handsome and masculine my husband is. It's the icing on the cake - who he is in his heart and soul is the cake.

All anyone can do is make the best of the gifts we're given. There are plenty of average-looking people in my church who are married and seem happy and fulfilled. And there are other male readers and parish members who aren't as conventionally good-looking who I personally think are attractive and magnetic because of their kind disposition, behavior, habits, devotion to God, and other qualities. If I brought a single friend with me to church, I'd tell her she has many great eligible bachelors she could get to know.

 

[Mrs TexasJenn]

​

• He managed to get several powerful forum members under his wing and become the primus inter pares, such as Valentine, Steady Hands, Truck Driver, Scorpion, and Thomas. Basically, he is the new Roosh. However, the most extraordinary part is that he managed to get Samseau—the man with boundless merit and arguably the strongest forum member—to serve under him.

I know he won't like being praised in this way because he's exceedingly humble (as the church teaches us to be) and would counter with all the ways he falls short and could be better.

The cool thing is he never tried to get anyone under his wing - he was asked by forum members to do it. He helped with the startup of the forum, but quickly saw that the technical infrastructure of the site being favored (offshore, questionable hosting) was bound to fail. He advocated for a stable solution, but was overruled, so he quietly stepped away. Once the site went down as he predicted, a couple members of the technical team messaged me to ask if he would fix it and take over technical management and ownership of the site. He carefully considered the responsibilities and ultimately agreed.

 

[Servant of Christ]

Amen to that!

In all honesty, my wife is far better than I deserve, and if I spend the rest of my life making hers awesome I still won't be able to repay her for all the love and kindness she has given me.

Thanks for the clarification.

I appreciate your kind words brother, but I don't deserve them; and I also feel it is important to clarify, I am only here to serve the people of this forum and to glorify God. I pray he will give me the strength and discernment to do both effectively as well and for as long as possible.

 

[analyst_green]

Because that means what the red pill says is true, and being a nice guy—or a godly guy, in this case—only works if a woman is first attracted to us through our appearance. If we’re neckbeards, then it means a woman will not care about our achievements, other qualities, or how close we are to God. This is why, in the example above, the man is portrayed as tall, good-looking, well-dressed, and of high social status by reading the scriptures in front of the church. This proves the red pill was right.

Don't let that bother you. Of course nearly everyone cares about physical traits. It's the same in any aspect of life. You go to vacation in beautiful places with beaches and mountains. You don't vacation in the cornfields of Iowa. You can say all you want how nice and helpful the people are in Iowa and how it's cheap and safe. You still won't get more than a few tourists to go there.

But it doesn't mean that it's the only thing that matters. We just need to be grateful to God for what we have and not forget the bottom line.

Anyways, if a woman is so holy as to not care about the material at all she would probably be in a monastery rather than getting married.

This guy is nice-looking and tall, but he's the sweetest, humblest guy. I'm 99% sure he was so absorbed in the reading that he didn't even notice this girl staring at him. Someday

The guys that are real "chads" are those that don't think about it. They don't obsess about it and just focus on their own lives. I've met average looking dudes who seem to magnetically attract women. And I knew model looking guys who repelled women once they opened their mouths. The latter reeked of desperation. So it's something more than just appearance. The internal state matters most.

We can all gain some of those positive qualities and maximize our attractiveness. Work out, eat healthy, try to build courage and life experience, speak clearly and confidently.. Of course there are limits drawn by biology, but most guys can do a lot better than they're doing now.

For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. (Matthew 25:29)

 

[GrecoRoman]

Might be the wrong thread, responding mainly to a few posts above.

Men or women initially choosing for looks is simply reality, church going / Godly or not. The type of women you are around matter a lot too. I had the easiest time when I was lifting heavily and was more jacked so to speak. Granted I was also low dose cycling at the time preparing for some competitions (Test, all legit by prescription.) Unfortunately in my case I was surrounded by harlots at work and in my social life so that’s what I was getting. I wasn’t really involved with church at the time. It led me more into sin.

 

[Seng Hock]

I know he won't like being praised in this way because he's exceedingly humble (as the church teaches us to be) and would counter with all the ways he falls short and could be better.

But for Orthodox Christians, isn’t it common for us to praise one another? I mean, just look at the Akathist hymns to the saints — they’re often several pages long, filled with words of praise and honor for a particular saint. When I compliment or honor someone on this forum, I’m inspired by those Akathists to the saints.​

I appreciate your kind words brother, but I don't deserve them; and I also feel it is important to clarify, I am only here to serve the people of this forum and to glorify God. I pray he will give me the strength and discernment to do both effectively as well and for as long as possible.

I’ve seen several of Mrs. TexasJenn’s posts in the past, and she seems to hold you in high regard. She’s mentioned multiple times that you’re strong, that she enjoys cooking and living with you, and that she loves doing activities together with you. And finally, she even explicitly called you a chad — though you probably didn’t realize it. To me, that was the final critical strike, and I decided to stoke the flame even further​

Don't let that bother you. Of course nearly everyone cares about physical traits. It's the same in any aspect of life. You go to vacation in beautiful places with beaches and mountains. You don't vacation in the cornfields of Iowa. You can say all you want how nice and helpful the people are in Iowa and how it's cheap and safe. You still won't get more than a few tourists to go there.

But it doesn't mean that it's the only thing that matters. We just need to be grateful to God for what we have and not forget the bottom line.

Anyways, if a woman is so holy as to not care about the material at all she would probably be in a monastery rather than getting married.

I was triggered by the idea that even women in the Church are mostly attracted to tall and good-looking men. That story sounded like bad news to me, because even if we pray to God to grant us a woman, God isn’t a magician — He doesn’t make illogical things happen. Therefore, if we don’t look or act like the stereotypical “alpha,” it feels like we’ll never find a woman, since women tend to be drawn to that type of man.​