Help with an ex issue, not a joke or troll

[KulturedKaveman]

It’s been two months since that conversation with the friend. I have tried to revamp my diet and started working out again. Although I had some existential dread last night.

I’m 34 and have a no single moms rule. I’m going to croak alone. I’m considering overseas but it’s not viable unless I can break into the digital nomad world. Plus some posts took the wind out of my sails on another thread.

Would moving, redoing my wardrobe to come off more Zoomer, and lying about my age be an option? Women do it all the time. It could get me fates with child free women and treat age as don’t ask don’t tell.

Or would accepting a single mom but under the following conditions - she has to be young enough and willing to have more, baby daddy goes on child support, and conversion to orthodoxy is non negotiable if single mom. Would that work? Women go Muslim all the time for their men.

-edit- this isn’t a woe is me thing. I’m exploring my options.

 

[Douglas Quaid]

Do not lie about your age. It's not weird to be with a younger women at all, but it would be weird to lie about it. A lot of women in their 20s do not care if you're older anyway.

What really helps if women already know who you are. So going to events and places around the same people, and building a community. I am going through this right now and my confidence increases every day.

I also think it's wise to continue staying away from single moms.

 

[FrancisK]

It’s been two months since that conversation with the friend. I have tried to revamp my diet and started working out again. Although I had some existential dread last night.

I’m 34 and have a no single moms rule. I’m going to croak alone. I’m considering overseas but it’s not viable unless I can break into the digital nomad world. Plus some posts took the wind out of my sails on another thread.

Would moving, redoing my wardrobe to come off more Zoomer, and lying about my age be an option? Women do it all the time. It could get me fates with child free women and treat age as don’t ask don’t tell.

Or would accepting a single mom but under the following conditions - she has to be young enough and willing to have more, baby daddy goes on child support, and conversion to orthodoxy is non negotiable if single mom. Would that work? Women go Muslim all the time for their men.

-edit- this isn’t a woe is me thing. I’m exploring my options.

No, don't change who you are or change your convictions. You won't fine happiness or peace that way. I'm not a fan of the overseas route not because I don't think it works, to an extent, but because I don't think you need to do it.

Have you been going out and meeting people? Joining groups and being social? Are you taking care of yourself and presenting yourself in the best way you can for yourself and people you may meet?

 

[PurpleUrkel]

Do not lie about your age.

... continue staying away from single moms.

... don't change who you are...

Solid advice.

As for traveling overseas to meet a women I think that could work. At least for me it could, as I've done it before and enjoyed it. However, contrary to old RVF advice I would bring her back to the US. For me this might work because my future home will be in the wilderness with no cell phone reception or internet and it would be very difficult for alpha chad's to track her down and prey on her hypergamous nature (and conversely, for her to reach out to such foes).

For me, the only reason to do this would be for breeding purposes (not for companionship). And to keep my lower IQ, beautiful foreign woman with non-fluent English skills on an even tighter leash I wouldn't legally marry her until she popped out a couple of kids and proved her value and loyalty to the process of my life.

 

[Wutang]

Would moving, redoing my wardrobe to come off more Zoomer, and lying about my age be an option? Women do it all the time. It could get me fates with child free women and treat age as don’t ask don’t tell.

...conversion to orthodoxy is non negotiable

You're willing to lie to a potential wife's face while at the same insisting that she converts to Orthodoxy? You haven't thought through how by doing the former you aren't witnessing to her in a way where she'll find Orthodoxy and it's moral standards appealing?

 

[KulturedKaveman]

You're willing to lie to a potential wife's face while at the same insisting that she converts to Orthodoxy? You haven't thought through how by doing the former you aren't witnessing to her in a way where she'll find Orthodoxy and it's moral standards appealing?

This wouldn’t be in regards to the same individual. You’re acting like number 2 and 3 are the same individual. The only reason with option 2 I’d ever even consider lying is I really wouldn’t like to be involved with a single mom. It seems like everyone’s got kids post 30. Option 2 she wouldn’t have to convert to orthodoxy. I’d just be honest if it wasn’t such a big deal in our society but older women will be mean about it.

The reason 3 would have to is to shows she’s truly atoned for what she did. I hate to say this, 90% of the time if you’re a single mom, you’re a screw up. You got too concerned about looks and now he’s gone or you got bored. Abuse and widowhood are a minority. She got bored with the father of her kids, what chance do you stand unless she atoned?

To be fair - I get your point. Dishonesty is a fools game but I feel like I’m trying to navigate a landmine field… thought number 2 has crossed my mind. Anyway, a lot of guys on here said my no single moms policy I should stick with. I probably will do this is a moot point.

 

[KulturedKaveman]

Solid advice.

As for traveling overseas to meet a women I think that could work. At least for me it could, as I've done it before and enjoyed it. However, contrary to old RVF advice I would bring her back to the US. For me this might work because my future home will be in the wilderness with no cell phone reception or internet and it would be very difficult for alpha chad's to track her down and prey on her hypergamous nature (and conversely, for her to reach out to such foes).

For me, the only reason to do this would be for breeding purposes (not for companionship). And to keep my lower IQ, beautiful foreign woman with non-fluent English skills on an even tighter leash I wouldn't legally marry her until she popped out a couple of kids and proved her value and loyalty to the process of my life.

There’s a lot of guys out there who are still married though. Not everyone is a complete cheater. I feel like the same applies to foreign women. I feel like not a boomer she might be more loyal to you and let’s be honest, if she was going to cheat she’d do it in her country. Everyone has phones and Instagram now. Don’t move her over until you can discern she’s not after residency or a green card.

There is a plus of America going to shit, there’s less of an incentive for this kind of this stuff. Do you REALLY want get a work permit and residency in a country that’s cold (well parts), expensive, factory produced bland food, insane work culture and pace of life… it just feels like foreign women playing that game the juice might not be worth the squeeze anymore.

 

[KulturedKaveman]

Time has come and gone. Thanks brothers. But America is kind of void of gals who are child free. wtf is going on? Ok on one hand “50% of women will be cat ladies,” but on the other hand - he wanna travel and I own my own home - no rent. No 50/50 bs. Still radio static. What do gals actually want?

 

[scary_robot_music]

There’s a lot of guys out there who are still married though. Not everyone is a complete cheater. I feel like the same applies to foreign women. I feel like not a boomer she might be more loyal to you and let’s be honest, if she was going to cheat she’d do it in her country. Everyone has phones and Instagram now. Don’t move her over until you can discern she’s not after residency or a green card.

There is a plus of America going to shit, there’s less of an incentive for this kind of this stuff. Do you REALLY want get a work permit and residency in a country that’s cold (well parts), expensive, factory produced bland food, insane work culture and pace of life… it just feels like foreign women playing that game the juice might not be worth the squeeze anymore.

"America bad."

Still, I believe we're still getting millions of immigrants a year, between legals and illegals. When I go to CostCo on the weekend it resembles a bazaar in Istanbul. You'll hear some English spoken, but no more than Spanish, Urdu, Russian, Arabic, various Chinese, Indian and African languages, etc. Every time I hear someone go on and on about how bad things are in the USA, I long for a way that word of how awful life is here could somehow finally get out and, you know, get people to STOP COMING HERE.

The traditional foreign doll you find will, most likely, want a green card. That's not necessarily a bad thing. My Latina Catholic tradwife was thrilled to get hers and even more so to get her citizenship in the bad old USA a few years later. Women generally want a man to provide for them and, as allegedly awful as the USA is, getting your wife that green card is part of that. As long as she sticks around and likes other things about you and takes care of your kids, it's probably a good deal.

 

[Australia Sucks]

My Latina Catholic tradwife was thrilled to get hers and even more so to get her citizenship in the bad old USA a few years later.

There are some women who prefer to leave their country but in my experience when you go to other countries the majority of more traditional women prefer for the foreign guy to marry them and live in her country with her so she can stay close to her family and friends. I think the exception to this is maybe when you have a really basket case non functioning country like Cuba or Venezuela etc. I think in general the whole green card hunting thing while it does exist is usually overblown.

Of course all of the above is dependent on your financial/work situation. If you are going to take a big income/lifestyle hit by living in the cheaper country than the woman will often want to move to America (or whatever first world country you are in). But I am saying in terms of first choice in most cases the woman would prefer a foreign man who is independently wealthy or at least has a fully remote job and can live in her country without taking an income/lifestyle hit.

 

[Steady Hands]

Time has come and gone. Thanks brothers. But America is kind of void of gals who are child free. wtf is going on? Ok on one hand “50% of women will be cat ladies,” but on the other hand - he wanna travel and I own my own home - no rent. No 50/50 bs. Still radio static. What do gals actually want?

I'm not sure if I understand the content and intentions of your post. Are you seeking support and/or advice? If it's the latter, would you like to explain the situation(s) in more detail? What does 'radio static' mean in the context of your interactions with women?

The more detail you provide to the readers, the more tailored feedback you can get in return. This means more relevant and actionable advice for you to potentially benefit from.

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Also, as I understand it, you are in a good financial position and are willing to pay for your future girlfriend's rent, travel and other things including most of her living expenses. Two comments follow in relation to this.

First, that's awesome - well done! It's great that you have been able to secure your finances and work diligently to the point of owning your own home in your 30s with cash to spare. That's a superb achievement and reflects many admirable traits about you.

Second, I recommend that you take time to consider the pros and cons of leading with money in seeking and building a relationship.

Maybe you can help the readers understand a bit more about your past experience and future plans here. How did financial arrangements work or not work for you in past relationships? Are you offering this to women directly now? Why is 50/50 co-sharing of financial contributions "BS" in your mind? What do you think are the benefits and risks of offering to cover a woman's living and entertainment costs in short-term vs the long-term?

See below for some earlier comments and a video on the topic of using resources and money in relationships.

There is a common idea that simply having more money, more status, or even changing locations will solve one's problems with women. While there is some truth to this idea, there are often many other truths left out of this conversation.

Being the breadwinner is not a problem per se. Rather, what can create heartache is an over-reliance on material provision to sustain respect, attraction, and attachment. Put simply, this will not work. Unless, that is, a man has no problems with being perpetually seen as a walking ATM.

A reliance on the external violates a key premise of red pill relationships 101 - she must respect you. So, it pays to beware of putting too much emphasis on attraction proxies, as these can be a crutch for generating genuine attraction and attachment.



Social status and monetary wealth can generate very strong interest from women in the short term, and in general, are highly correlated with mating success in the longer-term. However, ongoing respect, attraction, and love cannot be bought. If this premise was false, you wouldn't hear about rich or famous men getting dumped or beta-ised and nagged to the point of heart failure. This is why ignoring the value of "game" or social skils, not grasping the psychology of women, and generally getting lazy post-commitment leads to so many unwanted consequences.

I hope this helps in giving you some ideas to think about. All the best

 

[Lawrence87]

Time has come and gone. Thanks brothers. But America is kind of void of gals who are child free. wtf is going on? Ok on one hand “50% of women will be cat ladies,” but on the other hand - he wanna travel and I own my own home - no rent. No 50/50 bs. Still radio static. What do gals actually want?

Really they want a strong, visionary man to follow, but society tells them such men don't exist and tries its hardest to make it so.

Whenever you see a woman doing something "out there" like living off grid or something its always following a man. Without that they will just default to whatever other women do because in the past that was a good measure of how to succeed as a woman, now its a measure of how to fail.

 

[SeekingTruth]

@KulturedKaveman
Wanted to chime in.
I was a lot like you in my 30s. Dated and pined after the wrong girls. Often fixated on something physical instead of what's upstairs. If you were messing around with her, it's even harder to break free. (Lesson is do NOT do this). The attraction is strong and some women just have that physical presence that's hard to shake. (I suspect this is the real reason you can't move on). But realize that a lot of this is manipulation (subconscious on your end. Consciously by the female. She has had years of learned social interactions with men).

Financially and physically I always had my stuff together, so I was never worried. Waited it out and found my 15 year younger wife when I was around 40ish. It was someone that I worked around.
I did the travel (frequent travel to Mexico to visit a friend). I did the apps. Both a waste of time for me.
I've given this advice before but try to set your sights on smaller towns. Do not waste time with city dwelling women or careerists. No single moms. This can be done. Upper 30s is no single forever, childless, death sentence for men. If anything, it got easier for me since strangely enough I was getting more attention than in my 20s.
I now have two children and my wife still hasn't broken 33. Things are good. You got this.

 

[scary_robot_music]

Really they want a strong, visionary man to follow, but society tells them such men don't exist and tries its hardest to make it so.

This is a good point. I wonder if any of you other guys have noticed the recent trend on social media of women complaining about "mankeeping." That is, it's better to be single than be with a man because men are childlike beings who you have to spend a lot of time taking care of physically and emotionally, like a puppy or a small child.

Thing is, there might even be something to it with how a lot of guys are nowadays. How society tries to make it so, like you put it. How the way guys are told to behave around women is the opposite of what actually creates attraction in them. Add to that how women love to follow the latest trend and you have yet another way in which clownworld discourages people, mainly overeducated white people, from getting together and having children and lasting families.

 

[SeekingTruth]

This is a good point. I wonder if any of you other guys have noticed the recent trend on social media of women complaining about "mankeeping." That is, it's better to be single than be with a man because men are childlike beings who you have to spend a lot of time taking care of physically and emotionally, like a puppy or a small child.

Thing is, there might even be something to it with how a lot of guys are nowadays. How society tries to make it so, like you put it. How the way guys are told to behave around women is the opposite of what actually creates attraction in them. Add to that how women love to follow the latest trend and you have yet another way in which clownworld discourages people, mainly overeducated white people, from getting together and having children and lasting families.

Here's the takeaway...do not date any girl that has social media. They exist. Or get off social media yourself then you don't have to worry about it.

I think it's psychologically better if one doesn't know these things exist. To stay away from thinking all women are like this now and causing you to sabotage yourself with new women. The reality is that less than 10% (and that's a stretch) actually know anything about these trends. So why fret? You're just making things harder on yourself and chasing your tail trying to keep up with how the crazy women think. What a waste of time.

 

[Australia Sucks]

Here's the takeaway...do not date any girl that has social media.

This is so true. In my experience the difference is night and day between women who have social media and women who do not have social media. I don't have social media nor did I ever have it. Social media is garbage unless you need it for your work or business there is no reason to have it. It rots peoples minds.

 

[KulturedKaveman]

I'm not sure if I understand the content and intentions of your post. Are you seeking support and/or advice? If it's the latter, would you like to explain the situation(s) in more detail? What does 'radio static' mean in the context of your interactions with women?

The more detail you provide to the readers, the more tailored feedback you can get in return. This means more relevant and actionable advice for you to potentially benefit from.

---

---

Also, as I understand it, you are in a good financial position and are willing to pay for your future girlfriend's rent, travel and other things including most of her living expenses. Two comments follow in relation to this.

First, that's awesome - well done! It's great that you have been able to secure your finances and work diligently to the point of owning your own home in your 30s with cash to spare. That's a superb achievement and reflects many admirable traits about you.

Second, I recommend that you take time to consider the pros and cons of leading with money in seeking and building a relationship.

Maybe you can help the readers understand a bit more about your past experience and future plans here. How did financial arrangements work or not work for you in past relationships? Are you offering this to women directly now? Why is 50/50 co-sharing of financial contributions "BS" in your mind? What do you think are the benefits and risks of offering to cover a woman's living and entertainment costs in short-term vs the long-term?

See below for some earlier comments and a video on the topic of using resources and money in relationships.


I hope this helps in giving you some ideas to think about. All the best

I guess what I was trying to get at is pre-pandemic I had other live in girlfriends after the gal in question. But we always split rent and stuff 50/50, cheap vacations, etc. I got to the point where I don’t need to do that anymore and I’ve found dating to be next to impossible and I’m not really quite sure why. I’ve improved myself and I can’t get a woman to look at me. Late 20s chubby brokey, I could get a date and … such. Now early 30s and actually have a place for them to live and can cover everything, can’t find anyone. Makes no sense. I’m even 20lbs lighter.

Second - I’ve already considered leading with money’s downsides. I’d say things in regards to the gal I posted this in regards to were more “authentic” because no money was involved. But however as you take those “red pills” is anything authentic? Men and women both have their roles to play. I know getting a girlfriend and having a house she can live in rent free and be my paid for vacation buddy could have some shady motivations on her end but I’ve gotten over the ideal of unconditional love. That’s for children and dogs. Men provide and women bring the “goods,” and I feel many women intrinsically know this. Hence some of their standards that are superficially bs are really provider proxies.

The only attention I’ve gotten is women who already have kids. I hold my tongue and don’t say “where’s the dad” and stuff like that. I would like to do some traveling now that I have ok income, so would prefer a woman without kids. Should I relax the single mom requirement and maybe allow one kid if they’re willing to have more? The internet is not reflecting reality. On one hand 50% of women will be childless cat ladies according to data and birthrates, but in the wild, they all got kids.

I’m still not rich but in a world where everyone’s crashing out over layoffs and the the job market, achieving middle class in a world where the middle class is dying to me is wicked good.

 

[Sandalwood Peak]

Time has come and gone. Thanks brothers. But America is kind of void of gals who are child free. wtf is going on? Ok on one hand “50% of women will be cat ladies,” but on the other hand - he wanna travel and I own my own home - no rent. No 50/50 bs. Still radio static. What do gals actually want?

Most men are narrowing their options because most women are undatable. Women are becoming more defensive.

I personally think the AF/BB system is out whack which women rely on.

People say there's too many simps. Maybe there's not enough. One of those things is making women super defensive.

Maybe the border between AF and BB has been violated? Maybe the simps are too aggressive with the cash, maybe the AF don't feel like competing for women anymore?

 

[Australia Sucks]

Makes no sense.

It’s just standard “hoeflation” that happens everywhere in the world. As time goes on it becomes increasingly harder to get the same quality of woman you could have got even just 5 years ago. I have seen it happen in every country I’ve been to.

Even the “better” countries in eastern and southern Europe and Latin America etc are still affected by hoeflation but the starting point was better. For example maybe 20 years ago you could get a 9 in Belarus and then 10 years ago you could only get an 8 and then maybe today you can only get a 7 in Belarus (without the right social status and connections, etc). But in America if you could get a woman who was a 7 20 years ago you can only get a woman who is a 5 today.

 

[KulturedKaveman]

It’s just standard “hoeflation” that happens everywhere in the world. As time goes on it becomes increasingly harder to get the same quality of woman you could have got even just 5 years ago. I have seen it happen in every country I’ve been to.

Even the “better” countries in eastern and southern Europe and Latin America etc are still affected by hoeflation but the starting point was better. For example maybe 20 years ago you could get a 9 in Belarus and then 10 years ago you could only get an 8 and then maybe today you can only get a 7 in Belarus (without the right social status and connections, etc). But in America if you could get a woman who was a 7 20 years ago you can only get a woman who is a 5 today.

Hoeflation, lol.

So in Econ you can fight inflation by jacking the interest rate. How do you fight hoeflation? You probably could just couch… heh… it as a women’s issue and you’ll have much more latitude in fighting it. Banning dating apps? Warning labels on social media like smoking?

Imagine signing onto the gram and seeing a “the likes and appreciation received on here is simply dopamine. Excessive dopamine is proven to affect your life satisfaction and outcomes. Do you wish to continue?” I got this from my idea of dealing with porn. Like cigarettes actually require a warning every time you hit the hub. A warning along with links of all the data in regards to all the zoomer sexual dysfunction because of porn.

Simp taxing might also be an interesting tactic.