Finding a traditional wife abroad

[scary_robot_music]

They would rather marry what you call a "loser" than date outside their culture and be branded for the rest of their lives taking a chance on the random guy who showed up in their country trying to pick them up, it seems you're having trouble grasping this concept thinking you're still in the west....it's actually the opposite of not having standards and it has nothing to do with how long you've lived there.

Is being against women marrying foreigners particular to the Balkans? I've lived in a lot of places in Latin America and Eastern Europe where it was considered pretty normal for women to marry American or other Western guys. We were generally considered more likely to be faithful and stick around to raise the kids, and less likely be violent drunks. Granted, some people didn't like their women marrying foreigners, but they seemed to be in a small minority. Usually when I'd tell locals my girlfriend or wife was from their country the response was very positive.

Men in my wife's home country occasionally get upset about gringos "stealing" their women. My wife always responds by asking if they've tried not being shitty boyfriends and husbands.

 

[FrancisK]

Is being against women marrying foreigners particular to the Balkans? I've lived in a lot of places in Latin America and Eastern Europe where it was considered pretty normal for women to marry American or other Western guys. We were generally considered more likely to be faithful and stick around to raise the kids, and less likely be violent drunks. Granted, some people didn't like their women marrying foreigners, but they seemed to be in a small minority. Usually when I'd tell locals my girlfriend or wife was from their country the response was very positive.

Men in my wife's home country occasionally get upset about gringos "stealing" their women. My wife always responds by asking if they've tried not being shitty boyfriends and husbands.

It's true for any conservative recently former third world culture, you marry your own kind and openly dating is still taboo. Latin and European cultures are not conservative by any means, being religious alone does not make you conservative culturally towards relationships.

But your experience should be a good lesson, you can find a good woman anywhere as long as you find the one that recognizes you are a good man of value.

 

[Get2choppaaa]

They would rather marry what you call a "loser" than date outside their culture and be branded for the rest of their lives taking a chance on the random guy who showed up in their country trying to pick them up, it seems you're having trouble grasping this concept thinking you're still in the west....it's actually the opposite of not having standards and it has nothing to do with how long you've lived there.

Bingo.

Some people don't see the values alignment issue and think they can "Game" their way into another culture's women.

There's generally a difference between women who marry in culturally traditional societies and thier preferences vs the western material centered relationships preferences.

 

[stadtaffe]

I just want to hear to e thoughts of others who are familiar with the Balkans on what are the top spots in the Balkans for wife hunting and the nuances of different Balkans countries etc

Have you got something against Serbia? It's probably as good as it gets in the region for what you're after.. Probably a lot less small minded than Pristina or Skopje. I saw enormous potential when I was there and met a lot of women.

It's true for any conservative recently former third world culture, you marry your own kind and openly dating is still taboo.

Skopje and Pristina fall into this category, third world is a bit strong and nasty, but they are less developed and although Serbia was unfortunately bombed in the 90s, they're a decade or two beyond the places you have chosen.

Whatever anyone posts here though possibly goes in one ear and out the other with you so not sure if it's worth anyone's energies to try to offer advice..

Serbia probably does not want to join the EU, they're aligned with Russia and do not want to sell out to globohomo and hopefully it stays that way. The places you are chosing in the Balkans would want to join the EU for the advantages but they are miles away in terms of the various requirements for levels of development.

 

[scary_robot_music]

Bingo.

Some people don't see the values alignment issue and think they can "Game" their way into another culture's women.

There's generally a difference between women who marry in culturally traditional societies and thier preferences vs the western material centered relationships preferences.

You put this very well. When I met my wife I was at a low point and considered myself an agnostic. Nevertheless there was something about her so I decided to start seeing her even though fornication was not on the table. She'd never really had a serious boyfriend because of that, but I at least got where she was coming from because I was raised religious too and had also once been opposed to sex outside of marriage.

So instead of fornication, she got me to attend mass with her, I liked how that felt, we got married, and here we are. I'm very blessed that I had the upbringing I did and didn't pass her up like other guys did before me.

 

[Rational1]

Is being against women marrying foreigners particular to the Balkans? I've lived in a lot of places in Latin America and Eastern Europe where it was considered pretty normal for women to marry American or other Western guys. We were generally considered more likely to be faithful and stick around to raise the kids, and less likely be violent drunks. Granted, some people didn't like their women marrying foreigners, but they seemed to be in a small minority. Usually when I'd tell locals my girlfriend or wife was from their country the response was very positive.

Men in my wife's home country occasionally get upset about gringos "stealing" their women. My wife always responds by asking if they've tried not being shitty boyfriends and husbands.

Yep. Again not sure why certain gatekeepers are telling @Australia Sucks what he can or can’t accomplish overseas. It’s up to him, his value, and his effort. These threads usually devolve because if Australia succeeds, then it will make others feel inadequate. Kind of like how nobody wants you to make more money than them, be more fit, or whatever. I wish Australia the best in his endeavors.

 

[Lawrence87]

Yep. Again not sure why certain gatekeepers are telling @Australia Sucks what he can or can’t accomplish overseas. It’s up to him, his value, and his effort. These threads usually devolve because if Australia succeeds, then it will make others feel inadequate. Kind of like how nobody wants you to make more money than them, be more fit, or whatever. I wish Australia the best in his endeavors.

Nonsense.

Nobody is dictating anyone's actions, it is about keeping the purpose of this forum on track. It's a Christian forum, ergo topics soliciting advice on how to attain a sinful relationship are not allowed. Call it gatekeeping if you want, but this forum would quickly go to s**t if we started to allow degeneracy like that. There are plenty of other places where you can solicit such advice. People can do so at their own risk. The minute it's allowed here, this place would take a dive. People need to stop whining. This forum is literally called Christ is King, and people are crying because they can't solicit advice on how to sin.

 

[Rational1]

Nonsense.

Nobody is dictating anyone's actions, it is about keeping the purpose of this forum on track. It's a Christian forum, ergo topics soliciting advice on how to attain a sinful relationship are not allowed. Call it gatekeeping if you want, but this forum would quickly go to s**t if we started to allow degeneracy like that. There are plenty of other places where you can solicit such advice. People can do so at their own risk. The minute it's allowed here, this place would take a dive. People need to stop whining. This forum is literally called Christ is King, and people are crying because they can't solicit advice on how to sin.

No you’re speaking nonsense. The thread says finding a traditional wife abroad, where did I say I wanted him to succeed in doing anything else? Oh yeah I didn’t. In another thread guys were claiming finding a virgin was impossible and I said it’s because they failed at it and didn’t want others to succeed. That’s what I was referring to, so get off your high horse and work on your reading comprehension.

 

[Lawrence87]

No you’re speaking nonsense. The thread says finding a traditional wife abroad, where did I say I wanted him to succeed in doing anything else? Oh yeah I didn’t. In another thread guys were claiming finding a virgin was impossible and I said it’s because they failed at it and didn’t want others to succeed. That’s what I was referring to, so get off your high horse and work in your reading comprehension.

Alright Karen, keep your hair on.

 

[Rational1]

Alright Karen, keep your hair on.

Ahh can’t respond so throws out dumb insults like the keyboard jockey that he is.

Maybe contribute to the thread and help Australia Sucks. You seem to portray yourself as an authority, so what should he do?

 

[FrancisK]

Yep. Again not sure why certain gatekeepers are telling @Australia Sucks what he can or can’t accomplish overseas. It’s up to him, his value, and his effort. These threads usually devolve because if Australia succeeds, then it will make others feel inadequate. Kind of like how nobody wants you to make more money than them, be more fit, or whatever. I wish Australia the best in his endeavors.

Latin America and Europe is not the same as the Balkans and I'm sure you know that. You just want to talk down to everyone, that seems to be your MO around here you're not actually trying to help the guy.

To try to claim the men here don't want to see another man succeed is disgusting and I've never seen evidence of that, that seems to be something only in your own mind.

 

[Lawrence87]

Ahh can’t respond so throws out dumb insults like the keyboard jockey that he is.

Maybe contribute to the thread and help Australia Sucks. You seem to portray yourself as an authority, so what should he do?

He should not expect to solicit advice about how to attain a non-Christian relationship on a Christian forum and then cry about it when it gets shut down for a start. Then he should start by going to church. Or if he is insistent go to a forum where he can solicit such advice

 

[FrancisK]

I'll be honest I'm not well versed in "game" but I understand the concept just from lurking the old forum during that time. Some things may be useful in regards to women in general but specifically the logistics used for "gaming" women do not translate to finding a wife in my opinion, if that is what you're genuinely after. The guys who went to these countries and slept around with girls slept with the bottom of the barrel outcasts, sure there may have been an outlier here and there but these are not women you want for a wife. It's the same concept as in the west, would you marry a woman who sleeps with guys the same night she met them at the bar? It's the same just on a different scale, a girl who is open to defying her culture on a whim over there in the balkans is probably not wife material and there is a reason why she is willing to do that. Now I'm not saying you're over there just looking for sex, again it's on a different scale you're not in the west.

You want to make the argument that a bottom barrel women from a conservative culture is better than the cream of the crop in the west? I guess that could be entertained but if you ask me a low value woman is low value no matter where she lives, not the woman I want raising my children. It goes the other way as well, a good man is a good man regardless of where they are from and good women see that.

There are certainly places where just being a westerner means you're something special and will help you but the places you're visiting it does not necessarily apply. There is also the aspect that things were different a decade ago when guys were visiting these places for "game", the luster of simply being a westerner has worn off considerably since then for multiple reasons and the reasons guys visited them for "game" do not really translate to why you're visiting them.

From the way your standoffish in regards to all of this I'm not entirely sure if you're genuinely looking for advice but if you are mine would be to go home and make yourself more valuable to a good woman. There are good woman anywhere you go, you just have to make it so that you have value to them. I think that's a much better tactic, especially for yourself as man, than to go somewhere hoping the bar is lowered for you.

 

[Let God Arise]

Orthodox (and by extension all Christian) men should not be seeking tips on how to game, "date", play the field, or manipulate women in any fashion. That is dishonest and anti-christian. NO Christian men should be acting like this. Christians are called to a much higher standard and to not follow the ways of the world. If you cannot find a woman who is wife and mother material, start by asking yourself first if you are the high-caliber man such a high-caliber woman would look for or deserve. Look inwards first, before outwards. That is my tip for you. But I'm sure you'll blast me too for mentioning it.

 

[FrancisK]

Orthodox (and by extension all Christian) men should not be seeking tips on how to game, "date", play the field, or manipulate women in any fashion. That is dishonest and anti-christian. NO Christian men should be acting like this. Christians are called to a much higher standard and to not follow the ways of the world. If you cannot find a woman who is wife and mother material, start by asking yourself first if you are the high-caliber man such a high-caliber woman would look for or deserve. Look inwards first, before outwards. That is my tip for you. But I'm sure you'll blast me too for mentioning it.

Absolutely true, maternal instinct is not dead. A few generations of degeneracy does not override all the generations before it, it only overrides it for the women you don't want anyway. A good woman will recognize that you're a good man and naturally gravitate to you, but you have to actually be a good man for that to happen.

 

[Rational1]

He should not expect to solicit advice about how to attain a non-Christian relationship on a Christian forum and then cry about it when it gets shut down for a start. Then he should start by going to church. Or if he is insistent go to a forum where he can solicit such advice

Except, I don’t think he’s soliciting traditional game advice. I’ll let him speak for himself on that though. From reading his posts, he seems to hate Australia hence the username and wants to find a traditional wife abroad. He shouldn’t be shutdown or talked down to because of that. Guys have gone after him for wanting virgins, but again that’s his choice, despite the feasibility of finding one. I contest it’s highly unlikely, and if he was a friend of mine I’d tell him he should be more realistic in his pursuit, but I’m not going to go after the guy for it. In fact, we have a member of this very forum who succeeded at that, and with a foreign woman no less.

Again, it’s deep seated competitiveness because his success would be another man’s failure. It’s the same reason American women trash the guy with the attractive foreign wife (he’s too much of a loser to find someone here) or even trash the wife herself (she’s just looking for a green card) While there is some truth in those insults, it doesn’t encompass the totality of every guy seeking a wife abroad. Whether he should go overseas or not is another discussion.

As for my posts or his posts, yes I will personally call out hypocrisy, ideas and posts I find flawed, or general snarkiness.

How many guys here fornicate themselves, watch porn, have girlfriends and have sex before marriage, but are shutting him down for ‘fornication’ and ‘not finding a wife’? Total hypocrisy. Then there are members that seem to use drugs, whether legal or illegal, but hey nobody says anything about that. From posts I read I know that’s the case for some members.

There is also an issue of disagreeing with current groupthink here which cause bans and posters portraying themselves as authorities with absolutely nothing to back it up. To my knowledge there isn’t one priest on this forum, but many members sure act like they’re one.

 

[FrancisK]

Again, it’s deep seated competitiveness because his success would be another man’s failure. It’s the same reason American women trash the guy with the attractive foreign wife (he’s too much of a loser to find someone here) or even trash the wife herself (she’s just looking for a green card) While there is some truth in those insults, it doesn’t encompass the totality of every guy seeking a wife abroad. Whether he should go overseas or not is another discussion.

Stop trying to push this, I have not seen one single piece of evidence on this forum of men wishing other men not to succeed. This exists in your own mind only, you are projecting.

 

[Lawrence87]

Except, I don’t think he’s soliciting traditional game advice. I’ll let him speak for himself on that though. From reading his posts, he seems to hate Australia hence the username and wants to find a traditional wife abroad. He shouldn’t be shutdown or talked down to because of that. Guys have gone after him for wanting virgins, but again that’s his choice, despite the feasibility of finding one. I contest it’s highly unlikely, and if he was a friend of mine I’d tell him he should be more realistic in his pursuit, but I’m not going to go after the guy for it. In fact, we have a member of this very forum who succeeded at that, and with a foreign woman no less.

Again, it’s deep seated competitiveness because his success would be another man’s failure. It’s the same reason American women trash the guy with the attractive foreign wife (he’s too much of a loser to find someone here) or even trash the wife herself (she’s just looking for a green card) While there is some truth in those insults, it doesn’t encompass the totality of every guy seeking a wife abroad. Whether he should go overseas or not is another discussion.

As for my posts or his posts, yes I will personally call out hypocrisy, ideas and posts I find flawed, or general snarkiness.

How many guys here fornicate themselves, watch porn, have girlfriends and have sex before marriage, but are shutting him down for ‘fornication’ and ‘not finding a wife’? Total hypocrisy. Then there are members that seem to use drugs, whether legal or illegal, but hey nobody says anything about that. From posts I read I know that’s the case for some members.

There is also an issue of disagreeing with current groupthink here which cause bans and posters portraying themselves as authorities with absolutely nothing to back it up. To my knowledge there isn’t one priest on this forum, but many members sure act like they’re one.

He started a topic asking for advice on how to meet someone for long term dating, above a Christian marriage. Even if he was not explicitly soliciting advice on 'game' it's still not appropriate for a Christian forum. As a man he can do as he wishes, but there is no reason to expect an overtly Christian forum to provide a platform for his intentions.

It's not about being holier than thou or anything like that. We all have our foibles. That still doesn't detract from the fact that asking for advice regarding anti-Christian behaviour on a Christian forum is inappropriate. One can arrive at this conclusion without being morally perfect, and you don't need to be an authority, or even moderately intelligent to see it

 

[Australia Sucks]

They would rather marry what you call a "loser" than date outside their culture and be branded for the rest of their lives taking a chance on the random guy who showed up in their country trying to pick them up, it seems you're having trouble grasping this concept thinking you're still in the west....it's actually the opposite of not having standards and it has nothing to do with how long you've lived there.

So a local guy who is ugly, dresses like a gangster, cheats on his girlfriend, swears and acts like a 12 year old and earns €300 per month is somehow better than a foreign dude just by virtue of being a local? Somehow that’s having standards? But to date a foreigner would be having no standards?

 

[Australia Sucks]

Have you got something against Serbia? It's probably as good as it gets in the region for what you're after.. Probably a lot less small minded than Pristina or Skopje. I saw enormous potential when I was there and met a lot of women.

Skopje and Pristina fall into this category, third world is a bit strong and nasty, but they are less developed and although Serbia was unfortunately bombed in the 90s, they're a decade or two beyond the places you have chosen.

Whatever anyone posts here though possibly goes in one ear and out the other with you so not sure if it's worth anyone's energies to try to offer advice..

Serbia probably does not want to join the EU, they're aligned with Russia and do not want to sell out to globohomo and hopefully it stays that way. The places you are chosing in the Balkans would want to join the EU for the advantages but they are miles away in terms of the various requirements for levels of development.

I am not against Serbia. It’s on my list of places to visit (probably for a next trip), so I appreciate any insights into Serbia.