Are dating apps in any way good for Christians?

[TruthTeller]

Very good point about not discussing the "market". Especially with naive folks that find the whole idea of a "sexual marketplace" repulsive while being told to wash the dishes by their fat unattractive wives.

Oh yes, these types are the worst. They have an obese wife at home and want to give YOU advice because you don’t have a wife so in their mind they feel they are superior cause they have something at least. Yet their wife is completely repulsive.

In same way I will not talk about the gym too much with people that are out of shape, even if I just had the best workout ever.

It is all good surrounding yourself with winners and like minded people (spiritually and politically), but due to social circles we will run into some people with lower standards and lower understanding of what a good virtuous life can

 

[Thomas More]

So what’s stopping you from going there? Work? Family to care for? Finances?

I’ll give you the taking care of family but the other stuff is a cop out.

Don’t want to quit your job? Take a leave of absence if you are in the US. You can do it for a ton of reasons. Build a good relationship with a doctor and tell them you are depressed because of your current life situation and they will help you with the paperwork. You will probably still be paid, your job will be protected and you can take a few months to go travel. You are under no obligation to tell your employer you are seeking a foreign wife.

Agreed. Part of the reason the guy over there gets the girl is because he took the risk and adventure to go there and do it. He's "that guy" because he actually got up and did it.

 

[RedLagoon]

So what’s stopping you from going there? Work? Family to care for? Finances?

I’ll give you the taking care of family but the other stuff is a cop out.

Don’t want to quit your job? Take a leave of absence if you are in the US. You can do it for a ton of reasons. Build a good relationship with a doctor and tell them you are depressed because of your current life situation and they will help you with the paperwork. You will probably still be paid, your job will be protected and you can take a few months to go travel. You are under no obligation to tell your employer you are seeking a foreign wife.

What? In America they keep paying you for being depressed and you don't have to tell your employer anything about going travelling "for a few months"!?
Why would anyone ever leave such a place?

 

[TruthTeller]

What? In America they keep paying you for being depressed and you don't have to tell your employer anything about going travelling "for a few months"!?
Why would anyone ever leave such a place?

There are federal laws where you can take paternity / maternity leave, take care of an ill family member, or a health condition. If the poster can make a case that the current social situation is affecting his mental health and get a doctor to sign off he can take leave.

He should not be explicit and say his ‘depression’ is due to the state of women in West because that would probably offend someone, and hurt his case. But there are guys I’ve known that have done it, traveled, got married or found a girlfriend overseas. Then they went back to work.

 

[Maddox]

So what’s stopping you from going there? Work? Family to care for? Finances?

I’ll give you the taking care of family but the other stuff is a cop out.

Don’t want to quit your job? Take a leave of absence if you are in the US. You can do it for a ton of reasons. Build a good relationship with a doctor and tell them you are depressed because of your current life situation and they will help you with the paperwork. You will probably still be paid, your job will be protected and you can take a few months to go travel. You are under no obligation to tell your employer you are seeking a foreign wife.

You forgot health.

 

[Get2choppaaa]

There are federal laws where you can take paternity / maternity leave, take care of an ill family member, or a health condition. If the poster can make a case that the current social situation is affecting his mental health and get a doctor to sign off he can take leave.

He should not be explicit and say his ‘depression’ is due to the state of women in West because that would probably offend someone, and hurt his case. But there are guys I’ve known that have done it, traveled, got married or found a girlfriend overseas. Then they went back to work.

So poster should con his job because he wants to travel to find a wife?

If he works at an at will state he can be fired at any time when it's found out he's traveling to go wife hunting?

 

[Unending Powerhouse Match]

So poster should con his job because he wants to travel to find a wife?

If he works at an at will state he can be fired at any time when it's found out he's traveling to go wife hunting?

I agree, we should be reluctant to take advantage of Jewish handouts. It's antisocial behavior.

Although the Jews have created a system of lies where you can get a free multi-month-long paid vacation because of "mental health" (Jewish quackery), you signed a contract where you gave your word that you would work in exchange for that money.

 

[Get2choppaaa]

Yeah, we should be reluctant to take advantage of Jewish handouts. It's antisocial behavior.

While the Jews have created a system of lies where you can get a free multi-month-long paid vacation because of "mental health" (Jewish quackery), you signed a contract where you gave your word that you would work in exchange for that money.

I just think it's unethical.

And I also wouldn't want anything on my performance record showing I had a mental health issue.

They might say you need to have a form from a Dr ... Next thing you know, Sigmund Freud is diagnosing you with PTSD/PCOS/PMS/sandy vajayjay and next thing you know, you are on a list for mental health instability and future gun ownership is in question..


This is why, when getting out to the Marines, I was very very clear in not claiming PTSD during the VA disability screening. I checked a bunch of other physical boxes... But nothing mental.

I can elaborate on all that in another post...as far as how the gov tries to throw meds at disabled vets...but that's a different story.

 

[TruthTeller]

So poster should con his job because he wants to travel to find a wife?

If he works at an at will state he can be fired at any time when it's found out he's traveling to go wife hunting?

The poster can do what he wants. I was stating an option that I have seen done before.

You can’t really argue against the fact that a certain amount of the negative mental health of men in this country is due to the increased masculinization of females and the inability to find suitable mates. Tucker Carlson has spoken about this openly.

You can be fired in an at will state for anything at any time. You stated yourself that you have icons on display which is fine, but of course if regime change comes and you God forbid, get an atheistic boss, they will go through the channels to fire you if they want to target you. Of course they can never say it was for the icons, but they will come up with another reason. It’s just the world we live in.

If the poster or another guy ‘games’ as you say the system and comes back happier and becomes a family man, I don’t see the problem. I’m not advocating sex tourism or just traveling to play the field.

 

[TruthTeller]

I agree, we should be reluctant to take advantage of Jewish handouts. It's antisocial behavior.

Although the Jews have created a system of lies where you can get a free multi-month-long paid vacation because of "mental health" (Jewish quackery), you signed a contract where you gave your word that you would work in exchange for that money.

So is paternity / maternity leave, or taking care of an ill or dying family member also part of this quackery you speak of? Because they are covered under the same umbrella.

Mental health is Jewish quackery ok. You do know that the majority of suicides in this country are working class white men between 30 and 50 correct? (I may have gotten the ages wrong) so what are they supposed to do?

If you are making the argument that they should be getting their faith right and working with a spiritual counselor, I agree with you. If you are also making the argument to avoid counselors who are atheists and pill pushers I agree with you there as well.

But to say all mental health is quackery is just an absurd statement.

I guess you’ve never met anyone who say lost their legs from an IED or saw their 25 year old friend get their hand blown off. Mental health is a real thing that affects many people.

I agree the system is broken especially without a faith component, but you’re making a very obtuse blanket statement.

 

[Blade Runner]

You can’t really argue against the fact that a certain amount of the negative mental health of men in this country is due to the increased masculinization of females and the inability to find suitable mates. Tucker Carlson has spoken about this openly.

Yes, and sadly he also gets soundbyted with answers to questions like Charlie Kirk's, where he says, "have tons of kids and worry about all the other stuff later". As if that isn't easy as heck for someone born into what he was born into, or from his generation, to say.

And I'm not saying it's wrong, but it's lacking all reality and context, even though presumably "good" advice in the bigger picture.

As we've stated in other threads, when you take women out of younger ages and direct interest in family formation, you end up having a really small number of women that are attractive to men, and tons of men who do above average to really well and phenomenal. That skew ruins the entire market before you even take tech and propaganda into consideration.

You can be fired in an at will state for anything at any time.

I agree with you. Especially at this stage in the game, if you keep doing that Con Inc. stuff of playing by the "rules" when the others don't, you become their idiot fodder/sucker.

 

[Get2choppaaa]

The poster can do what he wants. I was stating an option that I have seen done before.

You can’t really argue against the fact that a certain amount of the negative mental health of men in this country is due to the increased masculinization of females and the inability to find suitable mates. Tucker Carlson has spoken about this openly.

You can be fired in an at will state for anything at any time. You stated yourself that you have icons on display which is fine, but of course if regime change comes and you God forbid, get an atheistic boss, they will go through the channels to fire you if they want to target you. Of course they can never say it was for the icons, but they will come up with another reason. It’s just the world we live in.

If the poster or another guy ‘games’ as you say the system and comes back happier and becomes a family man, I don’t see the problem. I’m not advocating sex tourism or just traveling to play the field.

I agree in a lot of ways to what Tucker is saying as a MACRO trend, but I think there's nuance to it for those looking for a wife.

I personally dont think things are as bad as some act like on here. I agree culturally, there are lots of trashy women out there. But that's been that way for some time now. I've been married/divorced ect, been in dated college gals after being divorced, before i got remarried... Yes there are plenty of poor choices in women out there. There's also lots of good ones there, people just dont engage well and set their standards on the wrong things. I think a lot of dudes think that this uber hot, trad wife, who is going to check every single box on the planet.... is just going to show up. They wont. Most dudes dont have much to offer those sorts of women, and were'nt plugged into the sorts of activities that would attract that type of girl yet expect it. Trying to use Tinder or Bumble is unlikely to get this for you either.

When I got divorced, I moved to a college town for a while and lived a block from a college campus. I was still active duty in the Marines, and had a couple of girlfriends whom were college girls over the course of the time I lived there. A vast majority of the girls I met weren't marriage material, but there were a couple whom I think would have made a good wife.... In that case, I was the one that wasnt interested in that as I was more into fornicating. In retrospect that was very wrong for both me, and those women.... but it was a phase I went through and after being divorced....pretty common. Point is, men being virgins is very rare, and men living out the peity they are claiming they want is also very rare. SO.... most women can sniff out ingronruity instantly.

Furthermore, most guys aren't virgins, most guys arent fit, most guys arent really that independent, and most guys dont really know how to romantically court a woman and are upset accordingly. (I know there are dudes on this forum that are, but I am making a general comment that is true) I'm not denying that there's tons of garbage women out there. But with courtship, you have to sift through a lot of no's to get the yes you're looking for. Again, I agree, the lack of "shame" for the average girl on Tinder/Bumble is pretty disgusting... that's why I think its important to find women in a hobby/group that is aligned with your values.

Re: Work and traveling:

You're pretty much advocating stealing. That's immoral and bad advice. The Icon thing is a bad comparison. Here's why:

As far as the Icon things at work.... you've got to read the room and pick an industry thats compatible for you. I work in Oil and Gas... my boss is a WASP, his boss is a Catholic from S.America. The trick is to read the room and know how to fly under the radar. If they have hindu's with Vishnu's (which they do where I work) then I cant be descriminated against for an Icon...and the second that's apparent Its a retaliation suit.

Taking an extended period of time off to go wife travel while milking the system IS NOT a good strategy to retain your job. You're likely to suck at work and once you're found out.... you're gone. Also, in a publicly traded company.... you cant fire someone because they dont like your faith. They have to put you on a PIP (performance improvement plan)....which means you've got at minimum, 3 months to show improvement before they get rid of you. If youre a top performer, AND know how to use the HR game.... you're fine. If the company has a religious display policy, they have to also have that in writing. I know because I've had to fire employees, and had to go through that route.... AND I've also experienced a false HR claim. Once that happens you just demand an investigation and nothing happens.... unless they can prove you did whatever you are claimed to have done.... in which case you're not getting accused of something, you're getting written up vs "warned" on it.

Your boss is an atheist you say? he's going to get you fired for your faith? Well he's got to start documenting your poor performance months in advance.... he cant just "fire you" with out cause. There has to be a paper trail or they get sued for retaliation. That's how it works...even in a "right to work" state. There's still a process.

If they find out you're taking a trip abroad whilst drawing a pay check for an illegitimate reason, that is stealing and they can fire you for cause instantly. And if you are suggesting that not being able to find a wife is a reasonable thing to justify a "mental health / leave of absense" type issue.... it will 100% NOT hold up in court if you try and sue the firm after they fire you.

So I'm just cautioning against what it seems like you're advocating here, not to dog you, just as a consideration/concern.

 

[Blade Runner]

Most dudes dont have much to offer those sorts of women, and were'nt plugged into the sorts of activities that would attract that type of girl yet expect it. Trying to use Tinder or Bumble is unlikely to get this for you either.

I agree. The problem is beyond that, even, and I'm very aware of it - the guys that do have a lot to offer oftentimes are hurt or crushed by the social taboo of age gap. This is the main problem since I've talked about it in the past, and it even applies to men in their mid 30s. The silents/boomers/old gen Xers largely don't see a mid 30s guy as being top and offering a ton to a woman. That means a 20 something woman, not a washed up 30 something. You can be a really top guy in several categories and be literally excluded socially, for the most part, which also includes the problem of dislocation or atomization/isolation. I'm not kidding when I tell you that as someone never married, even in Orthodox circles, you'll get a suggestion all the way from 35+ year old women to even divorced women with kids. That's a major insult, but the old people acting like that isn't ridiculous don't think so. It's preposterous, but shows you just now normalized feminist nonsense and a gynocentric society we live in, or at a minimum, unbelievably brainless deference to women.

So I'm just cautioning against what it seems like you're advocating here, not to dog you, just as a consideration/concern.

I hear you. I just think the system is really stupid and debased, without much loyalty or true trust for anyone, so I find things to be better evaluated with situational ethics.

 

[TruthTeller]

I agree. The problem is beyond that, even, and I'm very aware of it - the guys that do have a lot to offer oftentimes are hurt or crushed by the social taboo of age gap. This is the main problem since I've talked about it in the past, and it even applies to men in their mid 30s. The silents/boomers/old gen Xers largely don't see a mid 30s guy as being top and offering a ton to a woman.

Because in their generation marrying your high school sweetheart was common. First let us not even listen to what boomers have to say since they are the most selfish and out of touch generation in history. The minute I hear stuff like in my day just tell them to shut the front door but with stronger language.

Boomers think because in their day a house cost 20,000 and they could support of family of 4 with a HS education they are some genius generation. 95% would never make if they started today and be on the street.

Now on dating matters they carry this same entitlement attitude. Well in my day I got married at 21! What losers aren’t married these days! My daughter is a princess and a virgin. Ha, their daughter was on the pole or part of a harems but daddy boomer was too stupid to know.

That means a 20 something woman, not a washed up 30 something. You can be a really top guy in several categories and be literally excluded socially, for the most part, which also includes the problem of dislocation or atomization/isolation.

Yes and sabotaged by family or friends. Here’s what tends to happen if you start gaining resources money and are in shape.

Instead of the younger women being like hmm, he’s way more mature and a catch they start wondering something must be wrong with him that he’s not married at that age and they start finding flaws. They don’t realize that in most cases it was a smart move not to get married since the pool is many disloyal and feminist type women.

I'm not kidding when I tell you that as someone never married, even in Orthodox circles, you'll get a suggestion all the way from 35+ year old women to even divorced women with kids.

They want you to be Captain save a ho. Pardon my language, in modern times you will be offered unrepentant Mary of Egypt types or just intolerable materialistic Orthodox and fat Greeks. You know the types who drive their Benz E class to church in an Armani suit while their women dress like harlots. They wear the gold chains and are a mockery to the religion. No kidding I knew a Greek Orthodox stripper with a rosary tattoo, she still goes to liturgy and is works part time as a stripper. The hypocrisy is off the charts.

Yes Lord thank you for our blessing! I’m a good person cause I come to church once a week!

That's a major insult, but the old people acting like that isn't ridiculous don't think so. It's preposterous, but shows you just now normalized feminist nonsense and a gynocentric society we live in, or at a minimum, unbelievably brainless deference to women.

Spot on.

I hear you. I just think the system is really stupid and debased, without much loyalty or true trust for anyone, so I find things to be better evaluated with situational ethics.

Because the only viable solution becomes find a unicorn or travel to a place where age gaps don’t matter much. I’m not even talking a huge age gap, but even a 40 year old successful man will be shamed for dating say a 28 year old unless he is celebrity heck even if he is. Look at the hate Leo gets.

 

[Douglas Quaid]

I always thought it was funny how "conservative" dads spend thousands to send their daughters to college, where they're most likely being brainwashed by communist professors, sleeping around or prioritizing a career over family.

 

[Blade Runner]

I always thought it was funny how "conservative" dads spend thousands to send their daughters to college, where they're most likely being brainwashed by communist professors, sleeping around or prioritizing a career over family.

I laughed at that because I should be crying.

 

[Blade Runner]

Instead of the younger women being like hmm, he’s way more mature and a catch they start wondering something must be wrong with him that he’s not married at that age and they start finding flaws. They don’t realize that in most cases it was a smart move not to get married since the pool is many disloyal and feminist type women.

Yes, it's clear we see eye to eye on this and the more I think about the world and this current situation, the more insane it appears to be. I think the delusion is so high that things people once thought unfathomable are quite obvious in how they'll proceed or people will react. You can read into that whatever you want, but I think it's open enough for people to use their imaginations. It's actually quite sad in general how influenced people are, even Orthodox, by modernity and secularism with all its barbs and they actually think it's "normal." Then they go on to complain about everything in life and don't realize it's exactly what we're saying that is making the situation crazy and thus where their complaints stem from.

They want you to be Captain save a ho. Pardon my language, in modern times you will be offered unrepentant Mary of Egypt types or just intolerable materialistic Orthodox and fat Greeks.

I don't have a problem picking on any given group because of all the ones that we know about (and may be related to even) you can substitute other immigrants as being similar to whatever the group is in question, if most of them do well in the west, materially. What you are saying is, of course, true. If circumstances didn't make it such that any given daughter reacted to her friends also marrying in their 20s (and did herself), the situation is dire and to be honest, it's so clearly over with, quite literally it's a joke at this point.

Because the only viable solution becomes find a unicorn or travel to a place where age gaps don’t matter much. I’m not even talking a huge age gap, but even a 40 year old successful man will be shamed for dating say a 28 year old unless he is celebrity heck even if he is. Look at the hate Leo gets.

As I was given a hard time on the previous forum for saying that I met one that could have worked, but I wasn't as attracted to, and the others that I as attracted to weren't the same culture or religion (and thus less practical for marriage), the point remains that if there are so few options and so few younger pairings, you're on average not going to get any number of people to pair up. Women will always have a fair number of offers, if they are even reasonably attractive, the problem is that if you don't have young women that you are trying to get together with successful men, the men quite clearly aren't going to be interested in bailout scenarios, which most become. And that's being nice.

As you state, I don't even think a guy who is early 40s would ever even get the social opportunity to link up with a late 20s, and even if he tried and it was going towards working, the odds are that many would sabotage it. The devil is really in those details. When it comes to the reality of women and the modern view of them with nonsense feminism, or whatever you want to call it, I think it's far more black pill than anyone realizes. That's mostly because if you don't go to another country, your only prospective female will be someone who is almost 3 points lower than you. After working long and hard to be someone, no guy is going to do that, and the game is over before it started.

 

[canuckj]

I know the world is depressing but if you are a single guy who isn't finding any suitable mates online dating is an option, It doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. Believe me you can meet real women this way (with some serious vetting and due diligence) and then actually meet in person (several times) and check things out. If it can work for me I am sure it can work for a guy with more advantages such as wealth, height, etc. .

I was able to meet a women about 12 years younger who is pure and devout. I know all her friends and family and everything seems totally legit. We have been going strong for almost a year and are discussing how to marry and start a new life together. I don't understand any of this but really believe God is the best matchmaker and has given me way more than I deserve. One suggestion is to have an open mind on appearance, ethnicity, etc.

An interesting trend I noticed is that due to extreme inflation and cost of housing many western women are now looking to pair off and find a husband. I have had numerous younger women in Canada message me. Many of them are not suitable marriage partners and really only want a roommate. Buyer beware .

 

[TruthTeller]

I know the world is depressing but if you are a single guy who isn't finding any suitable mates online dating is an option, It doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. Believe me you can meet real women this way (with some serious vetting and due diligence) and then actually meet in person (several times) and check things out. If it can work for me I am sure it can work for a guy with more advantages such as wealth, height, etc. .

I was able to meet a women about 12 years younger who is pure and devout. I know all her friends and family and everything seems totally legit. We have been going strong for almost a year and are discussing how to marry and start a new life together. I don't understand any of this but really believe God is the best matchmaker and has given me way more than I deserve. One suggestion is to have an open mind on appearance, ethnicity, etc.

An interesting trend I noticed is that due to extreme inflation and cost of housing many western women are now looking to pair off and find a husband. I have had numerous younger women in Canada message me. Many of them are not suitable marriage partners and really only want a roommate. Buyer beware .

What websites do you use?

 

[canuckj]

What websites do you use?

The one I met my girlfriend on is Christian Cafe. The secular one I was getting some interest on is Hinge.

I am no expert and in fact have lots of questions for everyone. What I did was put a lot of work into making a good detailed profile and using good photos (without any real filters). Marketing is actually a big part of my job and many women commented that I looked confident and serious. I added things like the fact I am learning Spanish, want to travel to Latin America and my match must want and be able to have children. I also specified an age range. I actually never messaged anyone first as I wanted to see who would accept the age gap. For me it was an experiment to prove to myself this was a waste of time. What I found was very much the opposite.

I prayed to the Lord for a wife and am trying to follow Him. He put a perfect woman into my life and we are discussing marriage this year. One thing I prayed very earnestly about was that no one's time would be wasted and that if it was God's will it would lead to marriage and at least one child (or end within the first month of our correspondence). I was also very honest with her and the fact she is really too good for me.