The NoPorn / NoFap Thread - For Those Who're Serious
- Thread starter JCSteel
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This is perhaps the best decision that any young man can make in the modern world. I know that when I ceased filthy activity such as this, I felt the anxiety (of which I had plenty) melt away.
I've had a serious relapse recently. While I feel I'm getting closer to God in some ways(reading scripture, daily prayer, visiting an Orthodox Church for the last month) I've been misusing dating apps which are a trigger for unhealthy behavior and lust. Coupled with that, I eat compulsively and spend too much money. These lapses of self-control will only draw me away from the direction I want to go.
What worked for me was before quitting cold turkey was to limit myself to once a week, and only while doing pe gym exercises . Deleting all porn is pretty essential . I do have relapses sometimes but am 2 months porn /masturbation free currently
Hands down the best way to reduce lusts and appetites' is to fast. Fasting and prayer is basically a way of nuking all kinds of worldly desires. If one seriously follows the Orthodox Calendar and all of it's prescribed fasts, you will transform in a number of ways, one of them being control over lust. Fasting even once a week will seriously clamp down on lust.
It just makes me sad all those young folks that grew up on filth from all the video sites, at least we had to search for this crap when my generation was growing up.
Some EU states have discussed bans, but I wish they would just publicize the negatives both spiritually (though the atheists might be blind to that aspect) as well as mentally and physically. Governments should treat it like cigarettes. Treat it as a serious addiction and all its dysfunctions.
Some EU states have discussed bans, but I wish they would just publicize the negatives both spiritually (though the atheists might be blind to that aspect) as well as mentally and physically. Governments should treat it like cigarettes. Treat it as a serious addiction and all its dysfunctions.
I’m not sure how that would work? I mean banning sites on the internet? China and sone Mideast/Muslim countries try to do it. But you get at round it with a proxy.
As much as I like the idea of banning filthy sites, what good is it if you can just walk outside and see women's asses hanging out, or massive cleavage on display?
Seriously, I couldn't control my lusts until I started regular fasting. Fasting before communion on Sunday, and at least once a week of full vegan fast (plus no oil), usually I fast on Wednesday no matter what because that breaks up the week. Sexual appetites' plummet after a fast (and prayer), try it and see.
Countries like UAE and Kazakhstan block VPNs. Very difficult for normies to get a functioning VPN in UAE, but there is still Reddit and Twitter.
Of course it won't but it would limit the usage. Plus the kids on their phones would not find it as easy as it is now.
Agree with you definitely. Especially in Eastern Europe where we have the conservative slut phenomenon. Fasting definitely helps, but for people that are already aware of the spiritual and mental effects of porn.
A ban might at least start a conversation in the broader society and help the average addict. Because for now the tractors control the narrative and make it look all positive. If the married women realize what it is doing to their husbands they might also pick the right side for once.
This is what I meant about cigarettes, they are still widely accessible but public opinion turned on them slowly throughout my lifetime after the governments emphasized the harms of smoking. (feeling strange to give credit to an EU government, but perhaps with other hidden agendas they made this one happen).
The main thing these days that stops me from masturbating and watching pornography is that every time I did in the past, it made it much more difficult to hear God's voice. As you continue to retain semen, God's voice does get far stronger, to the point you understand you are just a vessel for His work.
I'm going to get a little more personal than I would have on RVF here..
My main issue is that I don't have enough going on in my life, and for various reasons, some better than others, I can't resist going back on dating apps. Dating apps can be misused in many ways, and they can become a gateway drug back to masturbation and pornography. I've gone for weeks without masturbating, only to be drawn back in, because I wanted some virtual stimulation with real women on an app. In the end, for me, dating apps become an all consuming addiction, I spend tons of money trying to boost my profile and get more matches, I talk to dozens of women, but I usually end up deleting my account after a week or two. This has been my pattern for the last several months. I've ghosted a lot of women in the process. There's something insidious about these apps, but I don't know how else to meet women. I want some company and stimulation in my life, while putting God first. Once I delete my account and I'm texting one woman at a time on my phone, it's different, and I can think clearly; when I'm on an app with tons of new women who I could potentially match with, I lose control.
I'm off the apps now but I know I'll experience the temptation to go back on. I've got to address the root issue, whatever it is...
I've been visiting a church regularly but I don't want to force anything there, since it's small and mainly older people and a few families. I feel that church is primarily about worship, although the sense of community and friendship that could develop is a great blessing.
I suppose I felt the need to make a confession. I'd welcome any prayers and advice.
My main issue is that I don't have enough going on in my life, and for various reasons, some better than others, I can't resist going back on dating apps. Dating apps can be misused in many ways, and they can become a gateway drug back to masturbation and pornography. I've gone for weeks without masturbating, only to be drawn back in, because I wanted some virtual stimulation with real women on an app. In the end, for me, dating apps become an all consuming addiction, I spend tons of money trying to boost my profile and get more matches, I talk to dozens of women, but I usually end up deleting my account after a week or two. This has been my pattern for the last several months. I've ghosted a lot of women in the process. There's something insidious about these apps, but I don't know how else to meet women. I want some company and stimulation in my life, while putting God first. Once I delete my account and I'm texting one woman at a time on my phone, it's different, and I can think clearly; when I'm on an app with tons of new women who I could potentially match with, I lose control.
I'm off the apps now but I know I'll experience the temptation to go back on. I've got to address the root issue, whatever it is...
I've been visiting a church regularly but I don't want to force anything there, since it's small and mainly older people and a few families. I feel that church is primarily about worship, although the sense of community and friendship that could develop is a great blessing.
I suppose I felt the need to make a confession. I'd welcome any prayers and advice.
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My advice is to learn some partner dancing, swing/salsa/tango (popularity varies country to country), and avoid dating apps. Also you can Church hop and if you find a young parish, courtship there is recommended.
I can attest to that. The one thing that finally made me seize this type of self-harming activity is the question of "What follows after the orgasm?" The anticipation or lust is gone (for the moment) just as the struggle to resist temptation. What state does the mind reach after the activity? It feels numbed and pacified in my experience. My connection to God feels severed. It is that very emptiness that I'm afraid of experiencing again, which is the reason I've managed to quit it.
Despite this, I still experience a form restlessness and increased anxiety after months of no nocturnal emission. Has anybody experience in regards to dealing with this?
It's doable. VPNs can be blocked. China successfully blocks them, though they do allow some state-approved ones. Now, it is still technically possible to bypass all of that if you use something like a Tor bridge, but at that point you've made it hard enough that I am sure you will be able to protect a lot of souls from that filth.
Some of my other great struggles have been alcohol and drugs, but as a comparison, my falls with porn and masturbation always felt much worse spiritually.
I mean physically I felt worse from a hangover or comedown, but the spiritual 'ick' from P & M is really soul destroying. Harder to get back up from that. So much shame.
It has never been worth it. It's a real knockout punch...
Marriage is the answer for me. St Paisios has words about getting married to restrain our lust if I recall correctly.
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Maybe the anxiety/restlessness is related to our paranoia about whether we will be tempted/fall to P&M in the future, a fear of the devil and his satanic iconography, and once again becoming our own gay boyfriend.
But perhaps, if we truly could commit to never doing it again, that would melt away.
I don't think there is any evidence to show that it's necessary. Just more satanic lies.
Makes me think of men who are virgins and have never masturbated. These guys do exist.
We are capable of doing this also.
You're keeping your masculine energy within you instead of spilling it. If you don't put enough of it to use in an average day - and most men do not, because sedentary office jobs are the norm in most places today - then it's normal to feel restless, although I'm hoping that the body will adjust to the increased energy eventually.
As other users have said, prayer and fasting do wonders to keep this in check. Also, I recommend keeping your phone physically as far away from you as possible when you go to bed. You're very weak when you're trying to sleep with a restless mind. If you use your phone as an alarm clock, consider using an actual alarm clock instead, if you can.
It is in the bible too.
1 Corinthians 7:8-9
Here it is in the Orthodox study Bible with the corresponding note below:
