Samseau, can this comment stay?
Ex-Catholic, Ex-Orthodox here. Please Stop typing: I had discovered Eastern Orthodoxy "before it was cool". My journey into Eastern Orthodoxy took place between 2004 and 2006. Long before Roosh Valizadeh's controversial conversion in the late 2010s/early2020s and long before the "Orthobro" movement that surfaced in the early 2020s.
I do not encourage anyone to leave their faith/congregation...and I respect those intend to join any E.Orthodox Church for the spiritual benefits only. However, I few words of advice to younger guys so that they could manage their expectations.
1. Regardless of what the spiritual basis of E. orthodox Churches is- over the centuries these churches have developed what they are today. And they are unlikely to change anytime soon.
In most, if not all, cases E. Orthodox churches have an ethno-centric, political function which overrules the spiritual ones. No amount of icons on display would change any of that.
In the West, these churches are practically "safe places" for members of a particular ethnic group. You, as an American inquirer/catechumen with no ethnic and linguistic ties to the particular ethnic community - you are"invading" that safe place. While the priests may tolerate you to a point, I can reassure you: many older members of such churches are less than happy about the recent "open borders for Orthodoxy" view of some of their priests have and complain to their priests about it a lot .
So, if you feel unwelcome when visiting these churches, you know the reasons behind it.
2. I don't see any mention of the Georgian, Ukrainian and Albanian (yes, southern Albania has a thriving Orthodox community) Orthodox churches on these forums- despite these (as of 2004/2005) were probably the "more accepting" ones.
Wonder why the disinterest in those churches on this forum?
3. "Well, I want a church where people at least look White". Well, spiritually not a good reason to join congregation and change your faith.
You might as well join the LDS Church (Mormons) - still overwhelmingly White (with a few Samoan and Tongans here and there) and it is a quintessentially American church that will not feel alien to you- and you will be welcome with a friendly smile not with suspicious glances and a hostile attitude.
4. "Muh white nationalism" White nationalism is niche concept, born in the US. In orthodoxy, and in Europe in general - ethnic/tribal and linguistic ties matter there. See the recent wars in the Balkans and the current war in Ukraine. Plus look at Brexit. -where the uneducated White Brits (due to their hatred towards people from continental Europe) voted for Brexit and since have been happy to flood their overcrowded island with nearly 1 million non-European immigrants (mostly from Nigeria, Jamaica and India) a year since 2020.
Ask a Ukrainian Orthodox person in western Ukraine whether he would rather have a Russian Orthodox or a (well-behaved) Burundian Catholic as a neighbor? Ask White Englishmen - if he could only choose between a few Polish/Romanian builders or a Nigerian family next door? Which one would they choose? The responses (right or wrong) may shock you. Division is real.
It exists in parts of the US, too. I never forget a two-days visit to Portland , Maine in the late 2010s.
The stereotype about Mainers being "inbred and hostile" was certainly true in that case. The only polite person I recall was a recent immigrant from Rwanda (who worked for a local ambulance services.).
5. "I dream of having a Russian/Serbian/Romanian/Greek etc wife".
Well, whatever floats your boat. However, surely you agree that is not a genuine reason to join a congregation. Also, you will soon find...the good women of those communities mostly marry their own kind and they marry young. Your chances of finding one of them and actually marrying one are very low.
Now, the ones you can find and who are potentially willing to marry you will likely be awful and eventually would make your White American ex-girlfriend look like the Virgin Mary.
Don't ask the American guy who is married to Russian/Ukrainian etc woman. Ask an American man who has been divorced by one (Whether in her home country or in the US).
On a more serious note. First and foremost: try spending 1 to 3 months in the country where your "potential dream girl" could come from. (There are plenty of programs by NGOs and other organizations where you can volunteer and can stay in a country almost for a reasonable cost). But even a 2 weeks tourist could suffice if you go there with open eyes. Make sure you actually love her country and the culture/attitude of most people there- before you even consider marrying someone from there. This applies to all ethnicities, by the way.
Also, don't forget - in many parts of Eastern Europe, modern feminism started earlier than in the US. (In the 1950s instead of the 1960s), Many of the EE girls today were raised by single mothers . Divorce rates are very high in most of EE. That's some food for thought.
Also, contrary of what many think here : most countries in EE are only about 5-10 years behind the West when it comes to immorality. The "trans" agenda has not yet "caught up" with them. Everything else has. Also, many countries over there have an even bigger problem with alcoholism and drug abuse than most countries in the West.
Crucially: those girls in EE have access to wifi. They don't know who that Orthodox Saint you are talking to them about is. But rest assured they know Kim Kardashian or Taylor Swift is.
6. If you are in the US - and want to join a congregation for convenience or finding a wife- probably Roman Catholic (in areas with more immigrants) and Evangelical churches in the same areas might offer a slightly (but not significantly) higher chance of getting there. Simply these churches have a younger demographic and better m/f ratio amongst their younger members. Not to mention , many of these immigrants come from countries where family values still exist and divorce is still frowned upon.
At the end of the day, it's your choice.
7. Before you ask "so, what church do you go to". No, we are not going down that route.
All churches today are about control. The original word church in the New Testament meant "the body of believers". You don't need to be a member of a congregation in order to be saved.
Revelations tells us about "false prophets and antichrists". We are in those "last days" now. Most , if not all churches are doomed. If you -knowing this-still go there, your fate is likely to be the same.
Accept Jesus as your savior. Then keep walking in your life as a Christian. Keep a low profile. Your faith and your deeds are the only things that can guarantee your salvation. Take responsibility for your own salvation.
Peace be with you all.
