The NoPorn / NoFap Thread - For Those Who're Serious

When I made my posts in this thread, I only wanted to share my experiences and get input from other posters (which have been helpful, thank you all).

But why does someone walk in thinking everything is a debate and attempt to win arguments? It is beyond me. With every other poster here, I just held conversations as usual, like normal people, except it's online.

Then the same person also calls the church I attended an "evangelical prayer group", and says I went there to "feel ecstatic".
 
staddlelateen said:
You’re misrepresenting my position while simultaneously weakening your own stance to make it appear more defensible. This suggests that you either don’t fully understand your own argument or haven’t taken the time to accurately engage with mine. Here’s some advice, as you seem relatively young: before responding, take the time to genuinely read and understand other people’s positions. It will strengthen your arguments and lead to more productive discussions.
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Quite the patronizing and non-substansive reponse there. Good effort 👍
 
I'm at the end of my wits here trying to quit this garbage. If I end up in hell this will be one of the main reasons.

I'm thinking a more radical approach is necessary. What I've been doing for years and years isn't working and it's time to come to terms with that. Recall what Jesus said unto his disciples at the temple,
Seest thou these great buildings? there shall not be left one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down.
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-Mark 13:2

Not one stone. Not one bit of the old sinful man must survive. Fr. Kosmas in one of his podcasts talks about how difficult it is for modern Christians to do anything good because we've been brought up from young in fantasy and our imaginations run amok. The incessant drone of TV and media drives people insane, and they cannot focus on God.

I always find myself lost in fantasy and it's not going to go away on its own. So I'm really thinking of giving up many things entirely:
1. Movies, TV, and fiction in general
2. Secular music
3. Fast food and most eating out
4. Avoiding crowded places where attractive young women congregate
5. Greatly limiting alcohol or eliminating it entirely

How many times does temptation start because of a girl showing skin on TV? Or you meet some attractive girls at a music festival. Or you're eating and drinking like a glutton and just lose control of yourself.

I'm open to other suggestions if anyone has some. The more I think about it, the more I think this is necessary for me. I just don't know if I can actually do it or if I'll crack. I also don't know what I'll do with all my extra time, perhaps I'll read more lives of saints.
 
Women dressing like absolute whores everywhere I go is turning my stomach now. No wonder dress codes were historically enforced by society. You look away to avoid temptation only to find yourself looking at another young woman with sprayed on yoga pants and cleavage hanging out.
 
Matsufubu said:
Women dressing like absolute whores everywhere I go is turning my stomach now. No wonder dress codes were historically enforced by society. You look away to avoid temptation only to find yourself looking at another young woman with sprayed on yoga pants and cleavage hanging out.
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Most of em don't have a nice body either, so the prostitute wear becomes really unflattering.
 
I think the key to overcoming this sin is to look hard at why we feel disgusted about it.

What I mean is, generally it comes tied up with a lot of pride. We feel ashamed and disgusted because we thought we were better than that. We thought we were more of a man. We thought, through our own efforts, we could overcome our lust by ourselves.

The fact is that pride will give you a long streak of no fap just to give you a bigger fall at the end of it. The demons don't care if you don't masturbate to porn for years on end, these are beings that live for aeons. They will feed our ego, make us feel proud of our streak and then they will smash it down, because they know that our efforts were sustained only by delusional egotism.

The moment we see that we are exactly the kind of person who masturbates to porn, that we actually like it and we return to it like a dog to vomit knowing how shameful it is because we are a slave to our fleshly lusts. Only when we allow that truth to sink in, and we realize how low we really are, and how we can't save ourselves can we see the way out. Turning to Christ not as a part of our masculine self image, but as our actual Saviour, the only hope we have against our sinful state.
 
analyst_green said:
I'm at the end of my wits here trying to quit this garbage. If I end up in hell this will be one of the main reasons.

I'm thinking a more radical approach is necessary. What I've been doing for years and years isn't working and it's time to come to terms with that. Recall what Jesus said unto his disciples at the temple,

-Mark 13:2

Not one stone. Not one bit of the old sinful man must survive. Fr. Kosmas in one of his podcasts talks about how difficult it is for modern Christians to do anything good because we've been brought up from young in fantasy and our imaginations run amok. The incessant drone of TV and media drives people insane, and they cannot focus on God.

I always find myself lost in fantasy and it's not going to go away on its own. So I'm really thinking of giving up many things entirely:
1. Movies, TV, and fiction in general
2. Secular music
3. Fast food and most eating out
4. Avoiding crowded places where attractive young women congregate
5. Greatly limiting alcohol or eliminating it entirely

How many times does temptation start because of a girl showing skin on TV? Or you meet some attractive girls at a music festival. Or you're eating and drinking like a glutton and just lose control of yourself.

I'm open to other suggestions if anyone has some. The more I think about it, the more I think this is necessary for me. I just don't know if I can actually do it or if I'll crack. I also don't know what I'll do with all my extra time, perhaps I'll read more lives of saints.
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If it is feasible for you, I suggest you consider finding a wife. I used to struggle with this issue, as many men do. I was able to get it under control as I was in the process of joining the Orthodox Church. And then around that time I met my future wife, and I knew I could no longer look at that garbage as it was effectively the same as commiting adultery. Then once we were married I no longer needed or wanted to, and haven't ever since.

Now I feel deep regret for all the years I wasted because I had no idea what I was missing, as well as for offending Christ, but at least I know He will forgive. For real though, a good woman who properly takes care of your needs will make it 10000x easier to quit. At least in my own experience. Then instead of feeling guilty you can be happy and carefree because your marital relations are blessed by God. There is no better feeling in this world than enjoying that miracle together while knowing you are justified.

It's also a good idea imho to cut out secular music and media, or really unhealthy and pleasurable food and drink, or whatever things really stoke your passions. For example if you're someone who gets a little drunk and suddenly eats a lot a unhealthy food, or does drugs, or is tempted to have sex outside of marriage, etc; if you address the causes it can really help. However don't go overboard because if it isn't sustainable you'll probably fail and then be worse off than before. I'ts the same idea as a crash diet vs a long term sustainable eating plan, with some splurges allowed.

I will pray for you brother. Keep working, and pray to God for help. You'll figure it out! ☦️ 🙏 🕊️

In Christ,

SoC

Edit: Here is some spiritual wisdom in case you may find it helpful.

1 Cor. 7:8–9: “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am, but if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

St. John Chrysostom (On Virginity, ch. 10): “Marriage is not forbidden, but virginity is preferable. Marriage is good for those who are not able to practice virginity, for it guards them from fornication.”

St. Gregory of Nyssa (On Virginity, prologue): “Virginity is a life of angels but marriage is honorable, since it was instituted by God, and is a remedy for weakness.”
 
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Servant of Christ said:
If it is feasible for you, I suggest you consider finding a wife. I used to struggle with this issue, as many men do. I was able to get it under control as I was in the process of joining the Orthodox Church. And then around that time I met my future wife, and I knew I could no longer look at that garbage as it was effectively the same as commiting adultery. Then once we were married I no longer needed or wanted to, and haven't ever since.

Now I feel deep regret for all the years I wasted because I had no idea what I was missing, as well as for offending Christ, but at least I know He will forgive. For real though, a good woman who properly takes care of your needs will make it 10000x easier to quit. At least in my own experience. Then instead of feeling guilty you can be happy and carefree because your marital relations are blessed by God. There is no better feeling in this world than enjoying that miracle together while knowing you are justified.

It's also a good idea imho to cut out secular music and media, or really unhealthy and pleasurable food and drink, or whatever things really stoke your passions. For example if you're someone who gets a little drunk and suddenly eats a lot a unhealthy food, or does drugs, or is tempted to have sex outside of marriage, etc; if you address the causes it can really help. However don't go overboard because if it isn't sustainable you'll probably fail and then be worse off than before. I'ts the same idea as a crash diet vs a long term sustainable eating plan, with some splurges allowed.

I will pray for you brother. Keep working, and pray to God for help. You'll figure it out! ☦️ 🙏 🕊️

In Christ,

SoC

Edit: Here is some spiritual wisdom in case you may find it helpful.

1 Cor. 7:8–9: “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am, but if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

St. John Chrysostom (On Virginity, ch. 10): “Marriage is not forbidden, but virginity is preferable. Marriage is good for those who are not able to practice virginity, for it guards them from fornication.”

St. Gregory of Nyssa (On Virginity, prologue): “Virginity is a life of angels but marriage is honorable, since it was instituted by God, and is a remedy for weakness.”
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Thank you brother, I appreciate your thoughts and prayers greatly. But I do not think marriage is the solution to this, as when I had a girlfriend in the past I still had the same urges to look at porn. They did not really lessen. I have no doubt that marriage helped you and many others, but my situation is a bit different. My priest told me I would need to quit before I get married.

Also, it's going to be hard to find a wife when I'm indulging in this garbage. It makes it really hard to connect with real women. When I abstain for a week or two, I'm good, I can feel some connection like I'm back from the dead. But when I relapse it's like there's a veil between me and the real world.

My addiction is more mental than anything, I do it for the mental stimulation and fantasy if that makes sense. Usually I don't fall because I'm bursting with sexual energy. I fall because of my other passions: despondency, despair, faithlessness, apathy, anger. And I fall into those often because of fantasy, because I'm always thinking. I know if I can just put all my faith in Christ He will help me, but I don't have the endurance to stay afloat at those times.

That's why I'm thinking cutting out secular media will help, but I may have been too ambitious the other day. I do not think I can cut all that out of my life now, but I can certainly cut down drastically. One or two hours of TV per week won't kill me.
 
Servant of Christ said:
If it is feasible for you, I suggest you consider finding a wife. I used to struggle with this issue, as many men do. I was able to get it under control as I was in the process of joining the Orthodox Church. And then around that time I met my future wife, and I knew I could no longer look at that garbage as it was effectively the same as commiting adultery. Then once we were married I no longer needed or wanted to, and haven't ever since.

Now I feel deep regret for all the years I wasted because I had no idea what I was missing, as well as for offending Christ, but at least I know He will forgive. For real though, a good woman who properly takes care of your needs will make it 10000x easier to quit. At least in my own experience. Then instead of feeling guilty you can be happy and carefree because your marital relations are blessed by God. There is no better feeling in this world than enjoying that miracle together while knowing you are justified.

It's also a good idea imho to cut out secular music and media, or really unhealthy and pleasurable food and drink, or whatever things really stoke your passions. For example if you're someone who gets a little drunk and suddenly eats a lot a unhealthy food, or does drugs, or is tempted to have sex outside of marriage, etc; if you address the causes it can really help. However don't go overboard because if it isn't sustainable you'll probably fail and then be worse off than before. I'ts the same idea as a crash diet vs a long term sustainable eating plan, with some splurges allowed.

I will pray for you brother. Keep working, and pray to God for help. You'll figure it out! ☦️ 🙏 🕊️

In Christ,

SoC

Edit: Here is some spiritual wisdom in case you may find it helpful.

1 Cor. 7:8–9: “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am, but if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

St. John Chrysostom (On Virginity, ch. 10): “Marriage is not forbidden, but virginity is preferable. Marriage is good for those who are not able to practice virginity, for it guards them from fornication.”

St. Gregory of Nyssa (On Virginity, prologue): “Virginity is a life of angels but marriage is honorable, since it was instituted by God, and is a remedy for weakness.”
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I'd also add that it's very frequently correlated with a certain other issue.

Do you issues with being able to sit down and complete entire work tasks?

Reason I ask is because sexual addictions are often caused in part by ADD. Using a non-stimulant medication until habits change may be necessary to remove the habit.
 
For me personally, living without porn/fap becomes more difficult the stronger you get at resisting it. In video game terms, when we’re at level 1, we’re weak — but so are the enemies and the boss. As we level up, we grow stronger, but the enemies and bosses also become harder. By the endgame, we’ve reached our maximum stats and best equipment, yet we now face the most difficult enemies of all.

At that point, it’s a make-or-break situation: if we succeed, we beat the game and win. But if we fail, all our progress feels meaningless because we couldn’t defeat the main enemy that caused problems from the beginning. It’s like in The Witcher 3 — all the hundreds of monsters you’ve slain mean nothing if you ultimately fail to stop the Wild Hunt, which is the main objective of the game.
​

Here are my experiences:

Late 2023:
I had been a porn and fap addict for years. It got to the point where porn was no longer just about lust — it became something meditative like ASMR. It gave me a sense of tranquility and peace, as if it could alter my state of consciousness.

May 2024:
I finally managed to stop watching porn — mostly. But a new temptation appeared in the form of AI photo enhancers. I discovered that, besides enhancing photos of friends and others, they could also be used to enhance pictures of random women online. Without realizing it, I ended up with over a thousand enhanced images on my phone.

That same period, I failed to stay clean during Great Lent and Pascha, just like my first year of baptism, when I relapsed during Christmas, Great Lent, and Pascha. It made me feel like a total loser.

Post-May 2024 to Early August 2024:
I began recovering from that failure, achieving my longest streak ever — over 90 days. During this time, I found a new temptation: the RTX Super Resolution feature on my computer. I realized it could enhance porn videos on the fly. Then, without actively searching for it, I stumbled upon a 4K, high-resolution porn video that blew my mind. Thankfully, I didn’t relapse or experience any spontaneous emissions.

Late August 2024 to October 2024:
After passing the 90-day mark, I felt truly liberated — like I had finally won. But soon after, I relapsed again, this time to European porn. Around this time, I also became angry and resentful toward Christ and His Church, feeling that He was unfair to me. My frustration was so intense that the only thing that seemed to stop my anger was relapsing on purpose.

February 2025:
Third time is the charm, and finally I managed to stay clean through Christmas. But in February, I had a spontaneous emission for no apparent reason. It blindsided me — I wasn’t aroused or watching anything indecent.

March – April 2025:
I unexpectedly discovered a website that hosts full-length porn movies. To my shock, I found many of the same videos from my school days — the same ones that used to be short, low-quality 3GP files — now available in high resolution and uncut. This was a massive trigger, and I ended up failing during Great Lent. Thankfully, I didn’t relapse again during Pascha that year.

May 2025 – Now:
My main enemies today are no longer porn sites but social media — platforms like TikTok and Instagram. They’re filled with endless videos and photos of beautiful women, many of whom enjoy showing off their bodies. Ironically, real women like these are now my greatest source of temptation and the main cause of my recent struggles.
​

I’ve also noticed something strange: the longer I go without porn or fap, the more I get flashes of pornographic scenes in my mind and in front of my eyes. It’s easy to control the physical side — to stop opening porn sites or to refrain from touching yourself. But what about the images that play inside your mind without control?

That’s why I believe the fight against porn and fap is like a never-ending gauntlet — a series of infinite fights that continues until either we are overwhelmed and lose, or defeat the enemies and win.​
 
Is there a way to tell when someone has successfully overcome such a base habit? I mean, if it's someone you know personally, meet regularly and are aware that struggled with this problem at some point in their lives
 
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cormy_cormorant said:
Is there a way to tell when someone has successfully overcome such a base habit? I mean, if it's someone you know personally, meet regularly and are aware that struggled with this problem at some point in their lives
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I think being addicted to porn/fap is such a shameful thing that almost nobody will admit to it. Compared to more common addictions — like alcohol, smoking, video games, drugs, or gambling — this one is far more hidden.

As a result, I’ve never met anyone in real life who openly admits to having this addiction, let alone someone who has successfully overcome it.

However, I’ve seen a few real-life parallels that resemble porn or fap addiction:
Case 1
I have a friend who used to be an alcoholic. His grandfather, father, and brother were all alcoholics as well. He loved drinking so much that he often got completely wasted. But after getting married, he’s managed to stay sober for seven years.

Case 2
I have another friend who was addicted to visiting “massage parlors.” He was actually the one who first introduced our group to them, and for a while, we all got hooked. But after he started going steady with a high-quality, virtuous woman, he completely changed. When I once asked him if he could recommend a good parlor, he said he had stopped that kind of activity. Now that he’s married, he acts even more like a “goody two-shoes.”

Lesson learned:
Doulos was right — the solution is to find a wife. He said that after getting married, he completely stopped doing those things. Based on both his words and my real-life experiences, this might truly be the most effective solution.​
 
Seng Hock said:
I think being addicted to porn/fap is such a shameful thing that almost nobody will admit to it. Compared to more common addictions — like alcohol, smoking, video games, drugs, or gambling — this one is far more hidden.

As a result, I’ve never met anyone in real life who openly admits to having this addiction, let alone someone who has successfully overcome it.

However, I’ve seen a few real-life parallels that resemble porn or fap addiction:
Case 1
I have a friend who used to be an alcoholic. His grandfather, father, and brother were all alcoholics as well. He loved drinking so much that he often got completely wasted. But after getting married, he’s managed to stay sober for seven years.

Case 2
I have another friend who was addicted to visiting “massage parlors.” He was actually the one who first introduced our group to them, and for a while, we all got hooked. But after he started going steady with a high-quality, virtuous woman, he completely changed. When I once asked him if he could recommend a good parlor, he said he had stopped that kind of activity. Now that he’s married, he acts even more like a “goody two-shoes.”

Lesson learned:
Doulos was right — the solution is to find a wife. He said that after getting married, he completely stopped doing those things. Based on both his words and my real-life experiences, this might truly be the most effective solution.​
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What about priests? Friars? Orthodox monks and St. Francis? How did those guys manage to abstain? What makes those guys different?
 
GuitarWind21 said:
What about priests? Friars? Orthodox monks and St. Francis? How did those guys manage to abstain? What makes those guys different?
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I’m not sure what factors work in their favor — maybe we should ask them.

From what I understand, most Orthodox priests and seminarians are built differently from ordinary people. It’s similar to how a gifted athlete possesses abilities that others can’t fully comprehend. These Orthodox men seem to have a deep spiritual strength from an early age, and when they enter monastic life or receive ordination, their relationship with Christ is strengthened even more. As a result, they’re either not tempted at all, or they’re able to overcome temptation with relative ease.

As for Catholic priests, friars, and even saints — do you really believe they all truly abstain? Perhaps they maintain a façade of purity in public, but behind closed doors, the reality might be different.​
 
Seng Hock said:
I’m not sure what factors work in their favor — maybe we should ask them.

From what I understand, most Orthodox priests and seminarians are built differently from ordinary people. It’s similar to how a gifted athlete possesses abilities that others can’t fully comprehend. These Orthodox men seem to have a deep spiritual strength from an early age, and when they enter monastic life or receive ordination, their relationship with Christ is strengthened even more. As a result, they’re either not tempted at all, or they’re able to overcome temptation with relative ease.

As for Catholic priests, friars, and even saints — do you really believe they all truly abstain? Perhaps they maintain a façade of purity in public, but behind closed doors, the reality might be different.​
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My priest will often joke that he’s not computer savvy at all, even when it comes to sending an email. I think that might be a key ingredient. My biggest successes have always come when fasting from any TV or internet. It’s a big dragon to slay.

When you think about film or tv alone, you are seeing 24 successive images a second. Thats a lot of brain CPU firing up to consume something off of a 2D panel. Contrast that with looking at an icon and praying — it’s a completely different world.
 
TheLoneReader said:
My priest will often joke that he’s not computer savvy at all, even when it comes to sending an email. I think that might be a key ingredient. My biggest successes have always come when fasting from any TV or internet. It’s a big dragon to slay.

When you think about film or tv alone, you are seeing 24 successive images a second. Thats a lot of brain CPU firing up to consume something off of a 2D panel. Contrast that with looking at an icon and praying — it’s a completely different world.
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not being computer savvy turns out to be a blessing in disguise in countless situations. sure, you may have trouble filing taxes online. but not having your brain wasted by years' worth of e-dopamine is a priceless asset.
 
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