Ukraine basically had attacked Russia first, back in 2014 when they broke the Minsk agreements and attacked the Russian population of Donbas. This went unreported in the western press and Russia showed restraint to the level of folly until they finally retaliated in 2022. I don't think Ukraine was ever going to attack Russia proper.Why didn’t Russia wait for Ukraine to attack first? Being the defender would have been more internationally popular than being the aggressor.
A caveat, I've seen some strong supporters of Ukraine claim that the Russian separatists in Donbas broke the Minsk agreements first by attacking the Donetsk airport. Maybe those here who are more knowledgeable could comment on who first broke the Minsk agreements. but my understanding has always been that it was the Ukrainians.