Schrödinger's Thread

Paramount Network Lol GIF by Yellowstone


But seriously though...

Shocked Cosmo Kramer GIF


I've heard that when economic conditions sharply decline, previously-independent and obnoxious women transform into feminine trad wives who never question your authority.

Such experiences look promising:



My first reaction:

Season 17 Abc GIF by The Bachelorette


So, does anyone have real, on-the-ground intel about the women in Springfield or other spots in Ohio? Are there many 18 year old virgin 10s there?

No autistic speculation please. Only advice based on real experience is going to help anyone. Otherwise:
Underwear Sydney GIF by Step One


There must be plenty of young virgins there ready to marry ASAP, because they can no longer see a future with (missing) cats.

Alternatively, we can start our own virgin trad wife terraforming ecosystem.

Our first official CIK Meetup scheduled for Spring 2036 will be perfect for planning the first stages of this strategy.

1. Choose a small-medium town of our choice. Minimum verified virgin trad wife population: 1,000.

2. Send in Haitians to consume all the pets that represent the conduit for displaced maternal instincts.

3. Deport Haitians once all pets have been eaten. I suggest we drop ship them to San Fran. The furries can get it too.

4. Walk into the local virgin trad wife support group for grieving cat moms and let them know we are serious about exchanging money for marriage, respect, and not being yelled at for mis-matching the pillow cases and bed sheets.

5. We win.

World Cup Winner GIF by HackerNoon

I'll post some threads when I get there.

-Day Game: Springfield
-Voodoo for Beginners
-Is Being a Driving Instructor Worth It?
 
"How's about I take you home and eat your pussy?" as a chat up line. Depending on what happens when you get there, you'll know whether she's Haitian or just black.

Or, if she asks how you like your steak, "doggy style" is an acceptable answer.
 
In the olden days, when the internet was young, people had the common courtesy to write "DISREGARD" on a failed thread's title. Everyone knew what that meant and would start disregarding said thread posthaste. And there would be a clear post indicating the end of its disregarding period, so that normalcy could be resumed.

Absent these signs, I've taken the liberty to disregard this thread from its very conception to this day. It's all so tiresome. Inform us at least, what are we supposed to do from now on? Continue disregarding the thread? And what if, it wasn't meant to be disregarded in the first place? All my disregarding was for nothing? Amateurs! Learn how to internet.
 
In the olden days, when the internet was young, people had the common courtesy to write "DISREGARD" on a failed thread's title. Everyone knew what that meant and would start disregarding said thread posthaste. And there would be a clear post indicating the end of its disregarding period, so that normalcy could be resumed.

Absent these signs, I've taken the liberty to disregard this thread from its very conception to this day. It's all so tiresome. Inform us at least, what are we supposed to do from now on? Continue disregarding the thread? And what if, it wasn't meant to be disregarded in the first place? All my disregarding was for nothing? Amateurs! Learn how to internet.
Post disregarded.
 
This thread is still discovering itself, but I believe it has the potential to be among the most groundbreaking spaces in the history of the internet. A collaborative exercise in postmodern shitposting, a shared experiment testing the boundaries separating reality and fiction, a place of confusion, wonder, merriment and delight. It is a very special place that cannot be fully explained, only experienced. Indeed, some argue that this thread doesn't even exist at all, and that you are not even reading these words. I believe such critics are both right and wrong. Ultimately, the truth of this thread remains shrouded in the mists of our mutual apprehension, and we understandably recoil from its alien (although undeniably beguiling) nature. But we must forge ahead through the fog of our bewilderment. We must continue our exploration and uncover the mysteries of this bizarre and beautiful place.
 
This thread should be renamed "Schrödingers Thread". Neither deleted, nor undeleted. No one knows for sure, because once empirically perceived or interacted with, it is no longer what it once was and has become something entirely different.
 
This thread is still discovering itself, but I believe it has the potential to be among the most groundbreaking spaces in the history of the internet. A collaborative exercise in postmodern shitposting, a shared experiment testing the boundaries separating reality and fiction, a place of confusion, wonder, merriment and delight. It is a very special place that cannot be fully explained, only experienced. Indeed, some argue that this thread doesn't even exist at all, and that you are not even reading these words. I believe such critics are both right and wrong. Ultimately, the truth of this thread remains shrouded in the mists of our mutual apprehension, and we understandably recoil from its alien (although undeniably beguiling) nature. But we must forge ahead through the fog of our bewilderment. We must continue our exploration and uncover the mysteries of this bizarre and beautiful place.
I believe the contents of this thread aren't even determined until you read it. Until you read it, the thread is only a probability field of things that might be written, but it is the act of reading it that crystalizes the reality of what it says.
 
People keep asking, "What is the meaning behind this thread?"

Or they ask, "What kind of posts should I be making here?"

Some even ask, "Does this thread really even exist at all?"

But truly, these are the wrong questions. The only question you should be asking is...

 
Back
Top