Yeah I do think about that. I don't want to waste her time.
Relationship advice
- Thread starter Tippy
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Yeah I do think about that. I don't want to waste her time.
Then don't.
It depends if you think any relationship that ends is a waste of time or any person who has conflict about a relationship is wasting that person's time.
At the moment, I have made efforts to keep things going but I still have my issues and doubts.
On some level I would like to work things out but if I am not gonna make a full commitment maybe I should end it...but increasingly I think perhaps I can try living with her again. But there's always going to be a voice of doubt and that's what causes me the biggest problems alongside my stupid lust.
I think you should stop talking about it and figure it out for yourself.
Stop paying for sex.
Stop calling them escorts.
They are whores.
Stop banging whores.
This is no doubt why you've got a skewed view about women and sex.
Not only is this disgusting activity...but also an assured way to ensure you have a totally negative view of women.
I appreciate the direct advice.
I have to confess I was driven mad by lust and was often perusing escorts. The fantasy a kind of masturbatory experience in itself. I also have problems secretly peeking at pornography when I am stressed and want some escapism.
Sex and obsession with it seems to be one of my biggest vices right now. Deep down I am disgusted with myself. I think of myself like a cigarette. On the outside perhaps looking totally harmless but inside black and ridden with toxic moral cancer. This obsession with pleasing and pleasuring myself. The constant masturbation in one way or another (harmless touching...harmless looking...harmless flirting...HARMLESS yeah right!?)...
Everything so long as I don't actually have sex with other people I tell myself is fine when all of it is a huge insult to this woman who dotes on me and yet I find her often irritating and want to be left alone to my disgusting sin and vice. Even though when left alone I often go even further into said disgusting behaviours and my existence becomes one under the dictate of satan.
I don't deserve her that's the honest truth. I've been horribly disrespectful to both her and myself and been the exact opposite of a decent Christian or moral human.
I'm not ready for marriage or raising or family. I'm just not. I've got my career sorted out but my attitudes towards women are just wrong at this point in my life. I don't know if I would benefit from just complete detachment from all women for a time while I sort out my faith and spiritual sickness.
I feel the reason I won't break it off is because I'm scared of being alone and not having her support or being loved by anyone.
But it probably is the moral thing to do if I'm going to keep being swayed by my eyes and my disgusting vices.
I'm going to call up the church tomorrow and see about talking to a priest. I just can't go on like this any longer.
I don't think pleasure addiction is the worst vice it's one that makes the most sense to be honest but it's still not acceptable and not a way to live.
They say there is no such thing as a true strength of character until it is tested well mine is being tested now. I hope I can be a better person tomorrow than I am today.
Start treating yourself like you love yourself man.
We all struggle.
God bless you and may your 2024 bring you strength, peace, and fortitude to stay on the narrow path so you might become a happier and more God-fearing man.