Do you all think that no one has pulled off the "bring her back to the US" thing, or that it's just 90%+ failure rate? Do you think if you had several kids that would change things? I don't plan on it and am not asking for that reason, I'm just curious as to the real number and real reasons why it's such a fail for some dudes who go abroad.
It's a fail for some dudes, but not all. Plenty (statistically the majority) of marriages go the distance, plenty of men have happy families. The thing is, you are disproportionately going to hear from the men who's marraige/family situation crashed and burned. Happy family men are too busy raising their families to complain on reddit or youtube.
If you want to give yourself the best chance possible to not eventually get rinsed by a women (regardless of where shes from), you need to focus on character first, looks second. Too many men think with their little head, and go for the outright sexy girl, and overlook major character flaws. Especially if you are just genetically average Joe and not Chris Evans, I'd say this is even more important.
If she is a materialistic women who is obsessed with beauty and loves to flaunt it, she will have a sea of options in the west and who knows if she'll be tempted. She will be bombarded if she enters the workplace, enters friendship circles or even just goes out and about in the community, goes to the gym or the coffee shop etc. horny aggressive chads are going to shoot their shot.
Me personally, I'd rather have the humble, modest girl. The girl who shows me she is a good woman, and an ideal mother to my kids. Not the woman who shows me she knows how to seduce men and find excitement. And if this woman so happens to be more or less average, your typical 5-6, so be it.
To give this the best chance at going the distance, you have to ask yourself, first and foremost, who exactly is the type of woman I want being the mother of my children, and then ask yourself what type of woman is going to make a great partner in raising a strong family. Not starting out focusing on who's going to make a the best sexual partner (again, where most men focus). Of coarse, you should be attracted to her, but again, be realistic and choose someone on your level. Maybe that sounds harsh, but most men are average, you don't have to land an 8 to feel fulfilled with your marraige, and if that's the sort of fulfillment you need, you are probably doomed. You need to find fulfillment in the family you build, and find a woman who will also thrive off of that fulfillment. I'd avoid women who will strive for fulfillment in climbing the career ladder, chasing lofty academic accomplishments, acquired material objects, various forms of excitement, etc. Find a women who is a believer in God and follows your lead, and wants to give you children and raise a strong family.
I say all of this, and I'm going through it myself. I am an American in a relationship in an Asian country with a local woman. I choose her for all of the reasons I outlined above. Of coarse I think she's beautiful and truly she is but she showed me that inside she is a great woman to raise a family with. We just had a son and I am going through all of the visa processing now to bring them to the states.
I'll say one last thing. I'm approaching 40, when I was around 30 I told myself "when I find the right women sometime in my early to mid 30s I will commit to her and settle down and have a family". I see a lot of other men doing this too, but we just end up spinning our wheels holding out for the perfect girl. As I got into my late 30s I honestly felt alone and that might have to do with losing my parents and siblings growing distant as years go on, but also it sucks being an older man and not having a family. I spent years more or less living alone in apartments and going from one girlfriend to the next. That felt so empty and I had to eventually bite the bullet, commit to a great girl that I realize isn't perfect, and start living my ultimate goal of having a family. I used to think to myself that I just want to raise life. Have a wife, multiple children, dogs, cats, chickens, maybe goats, and just raise it and watch it all thrive, and I couldn't be happier now that I'm on that path.