He passed away unexpectedly.Is your Dad alright? This sounds like the opportunity has been lost.
Hugging your dad
- Thread starter scary_robot_music
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That's what it sounded like. My Dad died unexpectedly abouf two years ago, so I can relate. Still, nobody can really know your feelings about it, other than God. I'm sorry to hear of your loss.
Thank you. It has been a rough day. I was thinking about my words in this thread and just thought it was quite a coincidence. I did hug him between the post and his death, at least, but it does not feel like enough!
We will be praying for you.
Very sorry to hear of your loss. Thanks for your part in getting me to hug my dad.
My father and I have been hugging and telling each other "I love you" for as long as I have memory, and I can't even picture a reality where I would consciously consider anything different.
I will raise a glass tonight.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in our prayers.
This thread makes me sad. And really has provoked a fair amount of thought.
My dad and I had a significant falling out a little over a year ago. Split the family and brother vs brother. My family ended up moving far away, in part because of it.
But he's now in his 70s and I can tell it has torn him apart. My mom almost died a month ago from a rare reaction- won't go into it but the paramedics at urgent care saved her. God has eyes on her. But I realize he and they won't be here forever. Also want my kids to have a relationship with their grandfather.
Maybe it's too much pride but I can't reconcile what he did to my family to spark this situation. And I feel I may regret that for many years.
As a son, hugging your father and really meaning it should be a source a strength. And love.
My dad and I had a significant falling out a little over a year ago. Split the family and brother vs brother. My family ended up moving far away, in part because of it.
But he's now in his 70s and I can tell it has torn him apart. My mom almost died a month ago from a rare reaction- won't go into it but the paramedics at urgent care saved her. God has eyes on her. But I realize he and they won't be here forever. Also want my kids to have a relationship with their grandfather.
Maybe it's too much pride but I can't reconcile what he did to my family to spark this situation. And I feel I may regret that for many years.
As a son, hugging your father and really meaning it should be a source a strength. And love.
Sadly I have the same relationship and since I have kids, I simply cant imagine to not show love to your kids. I have a 4 year old daughter and we are very close. Of course when shes an adult, I will not cuddle her half of the day then I do now but hugging is like the basic thing to do come on. You can clearly see where kids end when they didnt have a loving relationship. Women ending up opening an OF account and young men looking endlessly for father figures on the internet. Its in our hands to change that
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I have a little girl who's just a little older than yours. I like to think that all that time she spends snuggled up with me like your little girl does with you builds toward her being psychologically healthy when she's a teenager and adult. They say women tend to marry a guy who reminds them of their father, so I try to be the kind of man I'd want her to marry when she grows up, if that makes sense. Hopefully she'll find and go for someone like me, and more like middle aged me than young jerk me.
Have you tried telling him this?
That you're struggling with what happened, still have some negative emotions, but want to give him an opportunity to be a part of your kids lives?
If he reject that ect then there's not much you can do.
Father's should be forgiving of their children...but pride is a bitch.
My dad and brothers (even the dog got in on it) got in a physical altercation the morning of my wedding. It was over something stupid and failure to properly communicate that resulted in hurt feelings. That was a very stressful day obviously and I was quite upset that they would set the tone of the day of my wedding like that. But we got over that sh*t and thank God because life was too short. Not saying our situations are the same, but if you think reconciliation is at all appropriate…do it while you can. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
I hug my dad. He gave me a kiss a few times too (cheek). Never felt gay or anything like that.
I love my dad and sadly just like my childhood we don't spend a lot of time with each other as he's a professor now (retired from his main career) and travels.
Ironically the times he comes over are when I'm working so I only see him at the beginning and end of the day.
I married and gave him grandkids and didn't duty to carry on the family unlike the rest of his siblings so he's thrilled to have that.
I just wish he would spend more time with us when I'm not working.
I love my dad and sadly just like my childhood we don't spend a lot of time with each other as he's a professor now (retired from his main career) and travels.
Ironically the times he comes over are when I'm working so I only see him at the beginning and end of the day.
I married and gave him grandkids and didn't duty to carry on the family unlike the rest of his siblings so he's thrilled to have that.
I just wish he would spend more time with us when I'm not working.
My parents were supposed to come for supper on Christmas eve, but had to cancel because my mum was sick. My Dad insisted on driving down with the dessert which they were to bring.
He spent a short while with my family, not long enough to sit down though, but he was very happy to see everyone healthy and of good cheer.
He's never been a huggy/ touchy-feely type, but as I was outside seeing him off, I had this thread in mind when I stepped forward and gave him a good hug.
I can tell by the force with which it was reciprocated that it was genuinely appreciated. It felt good to be able to allow myself to do it, and to feel his love.
He spent a short while with my family, not long enough to sit down though, but he was very happy to see everyone healthy and of good cheer.
He's never been a huggy/ touchy-feely type, but as I was outside seeing him off, I had this thread in mind when I stepped forward and gave him a good hug.
I can tell by the force with which it was reciprocated that it was genuinely appreciated. It felt good to be able to allow myself to do it, and to feel his love.
That's awesome, man. Happy New Year.
I started the practice of hugging my father every time I really visit him or vice versa. If you don't live with your father, I really recommend doing so.
Whether I hit back for him making fun of me for being retarded or other silly things doesn't matter, what really matters is that family doesn't forget they're loved.
Whether I hit back for him making fun of me for being retarded or other silly things doesn't matter, what really matters is that family doesn't forget they're loved.
I was raised by my father since I was six. We lived together until he was hospitalized and I was with him until he took his last breath in 2017. With all that time, I still feel I 'could've been with him more.' And I miss him every single day. I know I will never get over it, rather I will deal with it and live my life as he wanted me to.
He was a tough guy, served two tours in Viet Nam in force recon, but he had a tender heart. I remember two things he said to me, "give me flowers when I'm alive, not when I'm dead" and regarding his final wishes for burial - and in true my-dad form - "I don't give a s--- what you do with me when I'm dead. I'm dead. Cremate me in the BBQ grille out back if its cheaper. Care about me while I'm here."
Point is, hug your father. Hug anyone you feel is close to you and deserving of it - father, mother, man, woman, family or friend. Its not 'gay' or 'beta' or 'weak' or 'lame.'
One day, you won't be able to and you may come to regret it.
He was a tough guy, served two tours in Viet Nam in force recon, but he had a tender heart. I remember two things he said to me, "give me flowers when I'm alive, not when I'm dead" and regarding his final wishes for burial - and in true my-dad form - "I don't give a s--- what you do with me when I'm dead. I'm dead. Cremate me in the BBQ grille out back if its cheaper. Care about me while I'm here."
Point is, hug your father. Hug anyone you feel is close to you and deserving of it - father, mother, man, woman, family or friend. Its not 'gay' or 'beta' or 'weak' or 'lame.'
One day, you won't be able to and you may come to regret it.
Absolutely, absolutely. I got hugged by a good friend I met after a few months of not seeing him. The gay question was questioned and subsequently addressed but I mean who cares man. I still remember it after 5 years as a good show of care.
Sadly he got upset over political autism.