Except there's no way to know who is a "White commie," in fact up to 1/3 of the current White race is this way, and they can backstab you at any time, viciously.
Just because someone is White is no reason to trust them, no more than you would a Black. It's time for a Reality Check. Whereas 1 out 8 Blacks may be violent, up to a full third of Whites will have no problem canceling you for not being politically correct. Look at how bad it was with COVID, and that wasn't even about race.
There is no such thing as White solidarity, that's a Talmudic Jewish invention, and there never has been. Tribes need to be a lot more specific than mere race, and even then, simply sharing Italian heritage isn't enough. You need to show more loyalty, and be part of the same Church.
The only time "Whiteness" becomes a factor is when you are outnumbered by other races 5:1 or more, otherwise, Whites simply don't care about such things and really never have. The ones who try the whole "I'm White and so are you" game are usually scammers.
I'm not a big fan of that dichotomy, but it's the most standardized one used by the most amount of people. It's easy to tell who's a "commie", or a "bad white" and it is loyalty like you said. Running off and reporting your fellow white people to the "racism police" puts you squarely in the commie category. There's a million other examples. It's understandable to be somewhat liberal but if you have a disdain for Churches but love Thai Buddhist temples then that's a red flag for me. Which reminds me of the incomprehensible simping for muslims we constantly see from the left. Doesn't seem ideological but plain treachery.
You are correct in highlighting that in isolated instances it's more favorable to be friends with some black guy versus some deranged white freak. Again all these things are not mutually exclusive.
The importance of race is a reflection of our own inherent impotence. You, by yourself, can't conquer territory or do a whole lot against hordes of strangers. So whether you like your people or not you're stuck with them. You also possess a certain amount of privilege within your own kind, whether it be through social acceptance, ability to appeal grievances, or rise in the ranks. Just like your parents, the people around you rub off on you. You should be able to see yourself in them which would naturally make you more sentimental.
Hypothetically you can get a better deal elsewhere. Another race can take you in, treat you better. That fact doesn't somehow disqualify the merit of race. If anything you could even argue that would make that other race better.
Yes, if white countries weren't flooded with foreigners, there would never be such a thing as "white people". We're not always one big happy family. Like has been explained, people identify you as white therefore you are white. It's not a choice for you to make, especially in this culture war stuff.
If modern white people weren't emotional tampons, we could treat race as an observable fact, not something that needs to be front and center or something to be ignored. Like people have been trying to preach, it's all fun and games to deny your whiteness until you're a minority and won't be able to escape that label.