Sex addiction (all forms)

T

Tippy

Catholic
Heritage
I am writing this because I've been acting out lately and I'm sick of it.

I want to hold myself accountable.

I'm not going to count self-pleasure but any other sex act (outside of a comitted relationsip) or pursuit of such I am going to post here to hold myself accountable.

If anyone has any advice or tools I could use I would also appreciate that.

Thank you
 
Roosh used to talk about praying in Jesus's name to save you from temptation. I think this can work, but I think the trick is really, sincerely wanting the Lord to help you in this way. Chastity often sounds like a good idea in theory, but as men when we're confronted with the opportunity to not be chaste it's very difficult to turn down.
 
No secular means have ever worked for me. We need to crush love by love. Love of sin by love of God. In order to stop, we need to cultivate a love for God that is greater than our love for the sin.

There's no single solution I can give you because I struggle with this myself. Just focus on your spiritual life with prayer, reading scripture, attending church services, etc. Turn your will over to God, know He loves you and wants you to stay pure for your own good. Keep busy, beware idleness. Don't look at attractive women, but if you have to only look at their faces. Watch the mind constantly and don't let even the smallest sexual thoughts take root. Sexual thoughts come into your head against your will, but you can choose whether to ignore them or follow them. If you can ignore, it's easy. But if you let one one thought fester and grow, then you're dealing with a monster that is really hard to tame.

But I will tell you what my priest told me. When we struggle with temptation and feel the suffering it causes us, it's a sign God has not abandoned us. Even in the darkest moments. Woe to those who are hard of heart and feel no compunction for their sins.
 
I am going to start donating 5gbp to church every time I act out in an extreme way. I have had to donate 5gbp today due to acting out.

Acting out behaviours for me include:

Watching pornography
Visiting escort sites

The place I have chosen for now is my local catholic church though this may change later.

I will also start reflecting here daily on my triggers and my attempts to work through those.

If anyone else has recovered and has some tools which helped please let me know.

Thank you.
 
This is spiritual warfare brother. Before anything else you must first fortify your position and practice discipline. Without the grace of God you will make no headway, so regular prayer is essential. Install the Auxilium Christianorum app on your phone and aim to recite it x3 daily along with the Angelus (I pray these prayer and more at 6am, midday and 6pm).

By the sound of it you need to make regular confession too, as regular Mass attendance and Holy Communion are also essential. This is the sort of structure that's a prerequisite for such a battle. There's no point in discussing other tools unless you have the backbone of a prayer rule and regular Mass attendance. Don't think about doing what you need to do, just do it. It's a cliche I know, but it's so true.
 
The first thing is that it is difficult, even the great King David fell dramatically because of his sexual desire. God knows it's a struggle. That is not to say you get a pass, but I believe God is quick to forgive these sins on account of it pretty much being the easiest way for the demons to trip us up. It doesn't help at all how permissive our society is of porn and immodesty etc.

None of these are excuses for not trying to be chaste but we should try to avoid despair. The Christian path is one of falling and getting back up.
 
I feel you on this. I've had my own struggles and at this point it's a sheepish confession to the priest. He did have good advice for me, and that was to focus on doing less in the moment. For example, if the temptation comes, don't try to focus on staying clean for X amount of days. Be ready for when the temptation pops up and fight that battle. If you win, keep walking forward. If you fail, get up and keep walking forward. You will win some and lose some. Overall, keep moving forward so that maybe the next time there is confession, instead of falling 150 times, it's only 149 times and that's still progress.

One thing I was inspired to do recently was pray for those I've seen in videos or images, that they would come to know Christ and to see the truth. If the demons are going to bait me with lust, I figure praying for the bait (the people involved) that the demons use will hopefully help those involved in pornography get out too. So I pray for all involved, and also the whole production crew behind it, that they would come to know God. The way I see it, the viewers and the producers and performers are all prodigals at one side or another of the pigs trough -- I should pray that we all get out.
 
TheLoneReader said:
The way I see it, the viewers and the producers and performers are all prodigals at one side or another of the pigs trough -- I should pray that we all get out.
Click to expand...
I think that's one of the ways, though particularly specific. We tend to not be in prayer or ignore the prayerful mind, but that also comes when the flesh is constantly agitated due to modernity, the literal desert that sex and female companionship can be, and then being hounded or bombarded by images, ads, movies, etc. One thing I'm trying to do is dwell less on it, as your spiritual father says as well. This could turn out worse, but I doubt it will in that the world really hasn't changed all that much and it won't (for now), and that includes the culture being built in for what it is. For me, that's just the old women get older and the not all that interesting younger women even get older and more jaded, less attractive. We're going into a 20-40 year period of depopulation of various kinds, so really all this has been built in for quite some time, if we are honest.
 
TheLoneReader said:
I feel you on this. I've had my own struggles and at this point it's a sheepish confession to the priest. He did have good advice for me, and that was to focus on doing less in the moment. For example, if the temptation comes, don't try to focus on staying clean for X amount of days. Be ready for when the temptation pops up and fight that battle. If you win, keep walking forward. If you fail, get up and keep walking forward. You will win some and lose some. Overall, keep moving forward so that maybe the next time there is confession, instead of falling 150 times, it's only 149 times and that's still progress.

One thing I was inspired to do recently was pray for those I've seen in videos or images, that they would come to know Christ and to see the truth. If the demons are going to bait me with lust, I figure praying for the bait (the people involved) that the demons use will hopefully help those involved in pornography get out too. So I pray for all involved, and also the whole production crew behind it, that they would come to know God. The way I see it, the viewers and the producers and performers are all prodigals at one side or another of the pigs trough -- I should pray that we all get out.
Click to expand...
That's a good way of looking at things man.

I think a lot of it can be situational. As in, if you live in a major city by yourself you're obviously going to be more tempted.

And not JUST because of what you see but because of the general harshnesss/coldness/hostility of that environment also leading to self-soothing as a necessity.

I'm starting to understand that I haven't developed healthy tools to relax/deal with stress and a lot of this stuff goes back to my childhoold/adolescence.

But basically this has little to do with sex and more to do with my own pain/boredom/stress management system being faulty in a major way.

Yeah I like the mentality you said about just trying to win each battle as it comes instead of being obsessed with never ever failing.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top