Relocating to Japan

Yeah, my mother, who is conservative and Christian, does not like the thought of arranged marriages.

Instead of viewing it as a communal effort of vetting, support, direction etc she views it as men controlling women, stifling freedom, patriarchal inequality etc.

I tried to explain it to her that arranged marriages are part of Christian ethics and traditonal societal structure but it's like talking to a brick wall. She just gets mad.

I've realized this topic is a major trigger for my mother and sisters. It's weird. If I explained this stuff to our average Filipina woman she would totally be on board with me.
It's a proof of what we say about women in general around here. I look back at ever being open to the idea that most had agency vs emotional thinking, at this point, and laugh.
 
I would love to live in Japan.
But I make no starry eyed assumptions about the fact that
1. I will always be a second class gaijin
2. I have to learn all of the language
3. I have to follow all of the Japanese cultural quirks right down to autistically sorting trash.
And I am OK accepting this.

My biggest fear is their criminal system. No thank you.
 
I think this will happen as well, just not soon enough. It seems that asians are also just generally more feminine all the way around, which is a racial reality as they don't have as much dimorphism, so that is a part you leave out that if you are also fairly high value as a european looking man, you'll be exponentially more attractive to an asian woman and that also keeps her in line to a great degree that's just not the case with euro descendant girls. The only price you pay in my view is the kids not looking (as much) like you, which is a sticking point for some, but not others.

European women are much more feminine in their teens and very early 20s, and many of the couples I know who are happily married and with strong families are couples who met in high school and never really explored too much with other people. Even in Sweden, which has a reputation of being the most progressive country for women and sex, most of the women that fit this category were pretty low status. The highest status women didn't even really ever hit the dating market but were instead swept away by someone in their daddies business circles. But middle class girls were usually pretty marriage focused too, didn't appreciate time wasting (this also applied to male friends) and instead would often opt for short term holiday flings rather than doomed relationships in their community.

Another thing that seems to know no borders is that many of the worst girls (who had fathers) had their dad's wrapped around their fingers in a manipulation relationship. Their dad's were simps. So while genetically I think that European women have just as much history with arranged marriage as with east Asian women, their dad's are often too soft to temper their daughters.
 
Another thing that seems to know no borders is that many of the worst girls (who had fathers) had their dad's wrapped around their fingers in a manipulation relationship. Their dad's were simps. So while genetically I think that European women have just as much history with arranged marriage as with east Asian women, their dad's are often too soft to temper their daughters.
Good point. This is the spoiled wealth effect problem of the modern day, and europeans do the best, so they are the most affected. I enjoyed the post, Laner.
 
I've never seen this happen, and I've been to over 60 different countries over the span of 20 years.
This includes Italy and Japan which I have been to both over 10 times each.
I agree. I've never received hate for being a westerner. Although that being said I have been to some countries where people are extremely nationalistic and not overly friendly to foreigners in general regardless of their country.

To the extent that people in some countries have a bad perception of Americans, etc its because of the amount of ignorant Americans running around. If you go to a country at least speaking a little of their language, being respectful of the local culture and at least having a vague understanding of their culture and history you will find you get treated a lot better.
 
Also, Japanese women are very overrated. You see the prettiest examples in entertainment and media, just like anywhere else, and the average girl, though less fat than her western counterparts, is not as dazzling as you may expect, and have picked up various negative behavioral attributes through osmosis from western entertainment, which Japanese women absolutely love. Beyond all that, you'll run into big issues with non-verbal communication and things like that. I ended up marrying a (white) Brazilian. I suggest you do that instead.
I have not been to japan yet but I met a decent amount of Japanese girls in Australia over the years. I agree that average Japanese girls look nothing like their J-Pop stars or flight attendants, etc. However Japanese girls are usually thin, with long hair and youthful faces. Although they are not in the top tier in terms of beauty like Slavic or Baltic women, etc are however with the Japanese girls you still have a huge supply of 6s and nowhere near as many girls that are below a 5 like you do in the west. While an average Japanese girl is no stunner and cannot compete with a Ukrainian the average Japanese girl still looks better than an average woman from an Anglosphere country.
 
@Australia Sucks I was listening to a podcast which went onto the topic of Japan. Mainly on other topics but about 50 minutes in they said a few words :

The main point was how they have managed to recreate a number of Western cultural things in their own way - Japanese denim modeled on American denim, Japanese whiskey modeled on Scotch whiskey, the inventor apparently studied in Glasgow. Few other examples. One they didn't mention which I can think of was the motorcycles and bicycles which come out of Japan.

I was thinking about the 2 threads you started on here of unlikely destinations - the Japan thread and the Kosovo thread. I've been to Japan and would happily go again but not to Kosovo and will probably avoid it and never go there. Then I thought how you picked 2 potential extremes to visit - if it were a choice of only going to Japan but not setting foot outside it anywhere else in Asia, or only going to Kosovo, but not setting foot outside of it anywhere else in Europe - which one you would choose...
 
A lot of the gaijins in Japan are just there because they hate their home countries. I was one of those as well. You get so comfortable there it's dangerous. There's no real grit to the guys and the girls are stuck in arrested development as well. There seems to be a basically egoless state with the group think there. It's not something a Westerner can easily adapt to. Though many Westerners delude themselves into thinking they are mini celebs.

For women stuff I was there from 2010-2019 so I experienced it changing. For casual sex it was decent but for wife hunting in my opinion it's better to meet a woman outside of Japan. The actual traditional Japanese women won't date foreigners. But plenty of women will. It's just they will be Westernised. I think men saying they will give up their Western lives and 'turn Japanese' are simply saying it due to utter hatred of their own countries. Once you start to grapple with the frustrations in Japan that feeling starts to fade and you start to think 'at least in my home country I felt alive and like a human being!'

I started to question if Japanese people were not just automatons at times. It felt particularly vapid and soulless. Glad I'm not there and I would only go back on a nostalgia trip. I don't miss anything about it.

I got more casual sex there than I would have had in the UK and it skewed my understanding of ease of getting casual sex (I found it easier there than any other country I've lived in) but I don't think Japanese would make good wives. They get sulky and weird because they are out of touch with their emotions and don't know how to express them healthily. They become passive aggressive monsters as a result. Just no. Stop romanticizing Japan. I don't recommend it. Just go for sightseeing and maybe some cheeky fornication but leave. Please.
 
They get sulky and weird because they are out of touch with their emotions and don't know how to express them healthily. They become passive aggressive monsters as a result.

Can confirm this is true.
A lot of it (not all) has to do with Japanese culture frowning upon saying important things directly or openly.
It's a style of communication which takes years to understand, and most westerners will never grasp it fully.
 
Japan seems to be in a downwards economic spiral, precipitated by the long-term effects of the Plaza Accords, undermining their monetary system. The Yen is down nearly 50% the last couple of years vs the US$, and with the population decreasing housing is relatively cheap now. So as a destination it is becoming more affordable.

This house near the ocean is going for US$38k:



I would imagine this is going to attract a lot of young families from Oz, US or the UK who can't afford to buy in Sydney, Melbourne, LA/SF/NYC London etc.
 
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Japan seems to be in a downwards economic spiral, precipitated by the long-term effects of the Plaza Accords, undermining their monetary system. The Yen is down nearly 50% the last couple of years vs the US$, and with the population decreasing housing is relatively cheap now. So as a destination it is becoming more affordable.

This house near the ocean is going for US$38k:



I would imagine this is going to attract a lot of young families from Oz, US or the UK who can't afford to buy in Sydney, Melbourne, LA/SF/NYC London etc.

If Japan offered an easy option for retirement for outsiders, I'd consider it.
 
Two key items on that angle:



The trend towards homes formerly occupied by the elderly in Japan being dumped on the market is going to keep growing in the next few decades.
 
Two key items on that angle:



The trend towards homes formerly occupied by the elderly in Japan being dumped on the market is going to keep growing in the next few decades.

Japan is soooo overcrowded, and living spaces so tiny and overpriced that ANY natural and slow reduction in the population can only be a net positive. People who have never visited Japan have no idea what it's like to have 125 million different people squeezed onto a slim long island.
It would be like cramming in one third of the entire US population into a small long strip of territory in the center of the USA.

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If Japan offered an easy option for retirement for outsiders, I'd consider it.

This is a topic that is coming up more and more for my wife and I. She still holds Japanese citizenship and there is a certain nostalgia that she has for Japan and the retirement community there. We will be going there in October and looking at homes for her mother, as her dad is having more trouble keeping things going for the two of them. So in a way, it will be a bit of fact finding mission as to what retirement could mean for us.

Her father, though, would rather retire in Thailand or Malaysia. According to him, the elderly care infrastructure is just as good as Japan, while being even cheaper. From the Yen perspective, he is correct, but for us on $CDN it is less of a factor and Japan is even a relative bargain especially in housing and food.
 
^In Thailand or Malaysia, he would be able to have access to cheap caregiving, domestic help, around $400/mo, that's a big deal. Also those would be pleasant places to spend a month of two with your elders, especially in winter.

Given the size of the elderly population in Japan, I would imagine they are a lot of them retiring in SE Asia.
 
Given the size of the elderly population in Japan, I would imagine they are a lot of them retiring in SE Asia.
The problem is a lot of Japanese people (especially the older ones) only speak Japanese which it makes it hard for them to retire in another country.
 
Does anyone know how hard/easy it is for Australians to live in Japan for a couple of years or so? We both can teach English. We might buy a cheap house and an appartment and rbnb it or maybe something else while the children go to school and learn Japanese. I'm just brainstorming at the moment.
 
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