Older Men, Younger Women
- Thread starter Maddox
- Start date
I'm 40 my entire family tree has been trying to marry me off this summer per usual because I made the mistake of letting it slip that the girl i told them that I planned to marry whenever they would ask is not in my life anymore, they just kept asking me what was wrong when they saw me always down and figured it out. So now they keep presenting me with these 20 something girls and I just can't bring myself to be interested, somewhat because I know I'll have nothing in common with them but mainly because I'm an idiot and feel like I'm still in mourning over what I lost....yes I know full well how incredibly dumb that is and it's not as if anyone would do that for me but I can't help it I'm not a heartless robot and can't pretend to be one just because someone else is.
They do this because they all married girls younger than them or men older than them. The old world mentality is that an older man can better raise and provide for children, so that's what they are pushing on me and it's fully accepted in my culture. They obviously tell these girls about me, give them my marrying/provider credentials, show them a picture or whatever maybe they've seen me somewhere and asked about me, tell them about my strong family lineage and they give the go ahead, then I'm supposed to go talk to them I guess and see if we click....I've just blown them off up to now and they're getting frustrated with me continually turning them down. They are usually sisters or relatives of my cousins wives, nice girls from good families raised the right way.
I have a big family wedding tomorrow, I've been hitting the gym hard all summer keeping myself occupied even doing cardio the bane of my existence and I have a perfectly tailored new Armani suit with a brand new watch and cuff links I've been saving specifically for this wedding and was looking forward to dancing for my cousin who i grew up with and love but honestly now im just dreading dealing with it because I know im going to be hounded. I would much rather not go don't care who I disappoint, but that would leave my mom and sister to go by themselves which I can't do to them, my dad isn't going he hates weddings.
I'm curious to hear everyone take on this topic, especially those from cultures where this isn't really common place.
They do this because they all married girls younger than them or men older than them. The old world mentality is that an older man can better raise and provide for children, so that's what they are pushing on me and it's fully accepted in my culture. They obviously tell these girls about me, give them my marrying/provider credentials, show them a picture or whatever maybe they've seen me somewhere and asked about me, tell them about my strong family lineage and they give the go ahead, then I'm supposed to go talk to them I guess and see if we click....I've just blown them off up to now and they're getting frustrated with me continually turning them down. They are usually sisters or relatives of my cousins wives, nice girls from good families raised the right way.
I have a big family wedding tomorrow, I've been hitting the gym hard all summer keeping myself occupied even doing cardio the bane of my existence and I have a perfectly tailored new Armani suit with a brand new watch and cuff links I've been saving specifically for this wedding and was looking forward to dancing for my cousin who i grew up with and love but honestly now im just dreading dealing with it because I know im going to be hounded. I would much rather not go don't care who I disappoint, but that would leave my mom and sister to go by themselves which I can't do to them, my dad isn't going he hates weddings.
I'm curious to hear everyone take on this topic, especially those from cultures where this isn't really common place.
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Now that I am getting "older" I notice a lot of 20 somethings very interested in me. When I was in my 20's or 30's, it was sparse. I'm a tall, good-looking guy. I work out. I eat right. I have done so for about 30 years now. But it wasn't until the last few years that the 20 somethings took notice. A long with the 20 somethings, are the 30 somethings, 40 somethings, even older women hitting on me.
What has changed? Maybe I look a little older and that draws the attention. Certainly, I am more confident, both directly with then and indirectly when talking to others and they are watching me. Posture would be better from more confidence. Mannerisms, tone of voice, other people (women and men) wanting to be near me to get a good laugh. These things add up big time. The attention is almost overwhelming at times.
So, with all said, I can see that women in their 20's will still go for many of the same men when they hit 45. They simply want a confident provider. That is how they are biologically wired.
What age range would I go for, if I were to start dating? 25 to 33. Old enough to have some life experience (disappointment, struggle) young enough to still have children with. Any younger and they just simply don't understand anything about the real world. Everything has been handed to them, they are often mentally still children due to this. Older than 33 and having children becomes difficult. And having children really should be the source of the relationship. Without children, it can be a lot tougher to keep a woman in a western country interested and involved.
As far as having "more in common with them", I really don't have all that much more in common with women my age v. 20 somethings. A little bit sure, they have more life experience and appreciate more, but they are still women and still expect you to bail them out, which is way bigger than remembering the same TV shows or movies. If I am going to have to take on the responsibility, and be the backbone, then I might as well get the woman who can still produce children.
What has changed? Maybe I look a little older and that draws the attention. Certainly, I am more confident, both directly with then and indirectly when talking to others and they are watching me. Posture would be better from more confidence. Mannerisms, tone of voice, other people (women and men) wanting to be near me to get a good laugh. These things add up big time. The attention is almost overwhelming at times.
So, with all said, I can see that women in their 20's will still go for many of the same men when they hit 45. They simply want a confident provider. That is how they are biologically wired.
What age range would I go for, if I were to start dating? 25 to 33. Old enough to have some life experience (disappointment, struggle) young enough to still have children with. Any younger and they just simply don't understand anything about the real world. Everything has been handed to them, they are often mentally still children due to this. Older than 33 and having children becomes difficult. And having children really should be the source of the relationship. Without children, it can be a lot tougher to keep a woman in a western country interested and involved.
As far as having "more in common with them", I really don't have all that much more in common with women my age v. 20 somethings. A little bit sure, they have more life experience and appreciate more, but they are still women and still expect you to bail them out, which is way bigger than remembering the same TV shows or movies. If I am going to have to take on the responsibility, and be the backbone, then I might as well get the woman who can still produce children.
Not really, just once I can retire. Until then, I know I would be a terrible father. And I just may end up being too old, and I okay with that as well. I could never work a 40-hour week and be a father, no way possible could I handle that stress.
I couldn't care less if a woman knows nothing about the real world. I'd honestly prefer it because it's easier to be a man and lead. Even ignoring that they look better and can still have lots of kids, younger women are so much nicer, easier to talk to and fun to be around.
Knowing too much of the real world is making modern women bitter and horrible to date. It's a man's job to take on the world.
Knowing too much of the real world is making modern women bitter and horrible to date. It's a man's job to take on the world.
That's a good point, it's incredibly difficult to get an older woman to follow your lead when she is entrenched into her life of being single for so long, they forget how to not be single and honor their commitment to you and it won't change no matter what you do or don't do. They allow people into their lives that think want good for them but in reality will do anything to sabotage your relationship directly or indirectly because those people became accustomed to just having their way with this single woman mutually using each other for whatever purpose and then you're in the way of that. They think it's some kind of strength when in reality it's a glaring weakness that they just decided to build their life around, it will grind you down and there isn't anything you can do to change it because it's not up to you, it's up to them and they think it's normal.
I personally keep a very small private circle and I don't leave any of my ex's hanging around as much as believe me they all want to be hanging around, that's wrong to do to my future wife and quite frankly I think it's disgusting in general. How do you have a "friendship" with someone you used to have sex with, how does one possibly justify that to the person they want to marry? Why would you hurt the person you love for some sick ego boost? I want my wife to always be secure that her man is HER man, why would you want the person you love to ever feel insecure if you can help it? People who feel insecure do bad stupid things and come to resent you for making them feel that way....
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You sound extremely entitled. Literally every guy in the west would kill to be in your position to be continually offered up younger women from good families for marriage. Literally there are guys planning to uproot their whole lives and move to the other side of the world to have some chance of marrying a younger woman and you can’t even be bothered to get off your arse and meet the younger women offered up to you on a silver platter. You have zero sympathy from me and doubly so given how you trolled me and others in all the marriage related threads while everything is being offered to you on a silver platter so you have no hope of relating to the hardships of other men. Stop the self pity and pull your head out of your arse before you totally waste the opportunity before you.
Brother did you receive the PM I sent you a few days ago?
Not everyone has the same priorities and I certainly do not need any pity, save that for the weak. A "virgin" traditional girl doesn't mean all that much to me the way you have built your goals around it, does it have a good quality to it sure it does but I've been in love real love and I'll take that over a concubine all day every day. Perfection does not override happiness for me, I don't need perfect.
Instead of telling me I'm doing something wrong maybe you should take a lesson from it as it sounds like you want what I am having put in front of me daily. It's not that I didn't have sympathy for you it's that you are doing what you are trying to accomplish wrong and you didn't want to listen to me when I was trying to explain that to you.
When you hold yourself up as a good strong righteous man who is selfless and always does his best for the people he loves the people around you take notice of that and they gravitate towards you and want good things for you. When you throw yourself at whoever and whatever comes your way then your value becomes worthless, do you understand what I'm saying by that? My relatives know who I am as a man as do the people around me which is why these woman see me as a suitable husband and why my relatives portray me as a suitable husband when speaking of me to them, you have to actually present and conduct yourself as the man and person you want to be not just say you are that person because you found a few people who will enable you to think you are then go do things which contradict it. I realize I sound very self absorbed here but I am trying to explain something to you, I apologize for coming off that way as I actually try to always be humble.
Your further problem is a cultural problem but it's only half it, believe me I have relatives around my age who are desperate to get married but they are not being presented with these girls because they haven't presented themselves well in life to earn that praise that I get from my relatives. That's a much further topic that I don't think you would care if I went into.
But all that being said I do hear you, if I told you about these girls that they have tried to hook me up with then you would really be talking down to me. I'm not saying you're wrong I just hold myself to a different standard as to what I think is right and wrong, I lost a woman I was fully committed to and loved more than I've ever loved a woman who I was going to marry I don't have it in myself to just pretend it didn't happen and move on to the next, not yet anyway. To me that is doing something wrong, I don't expect everyone to agree with me on that but I'm also not going to change my morals just because someone else wouldn't do the same for me and moved on the next day. Again presenting yourself and actually living as the person you want to be, not just saying you are that person.
I am telling you this with full sincerety, I mean no disrespect to you.
You just got lucky that you come from a culture where people still try to set up quality men with a quality woman.
There are plenty of guys who are objectively high quality men but they just don't come from a culture where its seen as being acceptable to try and set people up. Or just that people (even family members) or to self absorbed to be bothered to help others. Especially when there is some risk involved imagine being the person who set two people up and they get married. Then later they go through a nasty divorce the finger of blame can be pointed at you which is why some people are hesitant to do it.
Your situation is not only about being a good person (plenty of good and worthy men never get offered to be set up in the way you are), you are in a lucky set of circumstances where a lot of other people simply do not have that luck.
I've had people try to set my up occasion but the quality of women on offer left much to be desired and was frankly insulting.
There are plenty of guys who are objectively high quality men but they just don't come from a culture where its seen as being acceptable to try and set people up. Or just that people (even family members) or to self absorbed to be bothered to help others. Especially when there is some risk involved imagine being the person who set two people up and they get married. Then later they go through a nasty divorce the finger of blame can be pointed at you which is why some people are hesitant to do it.
Your situation is not only about being a good person (plenty of good and worthy men never get offered to be set up in the way you are), you are in a lucky set of circumstances where a lot of other people simply do not have that luck.
I've had people try to set my up occasion but the quality of women on offer left much to be desired and was frankly insulting.
Yes, that's just a psychological game to stop younger women and older men from matching. As if men care about very much at all "what women think" apart from their family and child care decisions.
Precisely, it wasn't meant for them, and now we see why.
That is correct.
Seriously. By the way, where are these guys even coming across that number of 20s girls that are "clearly showing signs of interest"? I think this is the biggest part of success and my personal, as well as others, failure in general: getting to be out and around others who might be interested. Why I don't think it particularly matters anymore is that in the west the quality is so low, regardless of age, and age gaps so taboo, it's typically a situation in which things are dead on arrival anyway.
There's your answer.
Brother please read my words, I have relatives around my age who nobody is trying to hook them up with anyone and these guys are actively searching for wives from my culture....hell their moms are at church and weddings soliciting for them every chance they get. Nobody wants them.
Do you know why that is?
Because they spent their lives living in degeneracy and that is how they are viewed. The culture I'm in that you are saying is luck worked against them because in my culture everyone knows everyone and they have a bad reputation because they decided to do nasty things chasing attention and they are stained for it. I'm not saying that is you but I am illustrating that it's more than luck, who you are as a man is what matters most.
Brother I promise you that if you present yourself and live as a good strong man a good woman will find you. When I say good man I mean genuinely good, not just good as in you are able to hide the bad that you do and tell yourself in your head that you are good.
Going to other countries hoping the bar is lower looking for "dates" is not something a good man would do. Please understand I am not trying to put you down, just as before you thought I was trying to put you down when I was trying to help you. What you are doing obviously isn't working right? So why not hear my words then?
It's funny how complicated things get even when things are in order. I think there are too many pitfalls in general when you don't do things according to historical standards, as hard as they are to pull off (getting married younger in general, having countries with similar cultures and religions, etc). It just screams modernity and lack of survival difficulty. Once we got away from that, things became relatively doomed, especially when women got more optionality in life.
That's not his point. Whether you believe a random on the internet you haven't met or not (I wouldn't blame you), the point is that you live in a culture where behavior, achievement, appearance, etc (or lack thereof) matter. What we're telling you is that for large portions of the west, there are numerous high value men (indeed they might not be most men) that have nowhere near options, or connections, due to (the kicker) a dirth of women. Of course, the conversation isn't complete without saying that the valuable men certainly expect women who aren't old, fat or ugly.
This video is so accurate it makes me question if the person is real, lol
"Don't ever be a gf"
Yes, that's the point lost on most in the last 60 years.
I understand but the inverse is true, I know plenty of western young men not of my culture who married good women and raised beautiful families. I also know men of my culture who married absolute trash and I know men of my culture who are desperate to get married and nobody will have them.
It goes both ways. You have to make yourself valuable to a good woman. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that values haven't devolved with women in modern society but it's not as simple as that and if you just concede to that it's not going to work out well for you.
A tale as old as time. It's a good feeling. I'm at an age where I have younger and older women showing interest in me. Used to be mostly older women.
The whole point of dating someone is not only to see if there is a commonality, but to build a commonality. The first part is pushed too hard and the second part is totally neglected by the feminist culture.
Obviously, the feminists main concern is fast, meaningless sex, so the "build a connection" part doesn't really come into play for them.
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They see you as a strong candidate, this is why i say not all is lost. A couple generations of filth does not override all the countless generations of maternal instinct! I have absolutely also noticed this, especially lately and I honestly think it's because I don't show any interest so it gets their brains churning....
Don't use a shower for a couple of days, eat only onions and garlic, when talking to girls, stare at their chest fixately, and you'll be untouchable, trust me.
Genius!!!