Have You Ever Been Set Up On A Date?

[Maddox]

As I look forward to yet another dateless Saturday night, I think about how married people or couples who know I'm single never set me up with their friends. I'm not sure if this is just something that happens to me or if others experience this too. What I have noticed though is this act is looked down upon by our culture, taught through our media via TV shows and movies. Every time I see someone play matchmaker, it's met with derision by the other character.

For instance, just the other night I was watching Frasier. Since the character of Frasier had been dateless for longer than he could remember, his dad tried to set him up with a girl from work. But Frasier, even as lonely as he was, turned him down. That is until his father convinced him that she was a looker. But initially, you would've thought he asked Frasier if he'd like a root canal.

Why is this act being looked down upon as some horrible thing in life like paying taxes? It makes me wonder if there's an ulterior motive here at work; like maybe to keep us single all our lives. I'd guess that it's affecting our society and making others think twice about setting up a friend because they keep seeing characters on TV reacting so horribly to the idea.

Anyone here been set up before or know someone whose been set up by others?

 

[Douglas Quaid]

I don't think it has to be a horrible thing, but it doesn't seem ideal. People usually have low standards when they try to set a man up with a woman, especially as men get older and generally better with age. We're usually talking about women with lots of baggage. It's actually annoying that they'd think we'd want some of them. Maybe a lot of people that look down on this also see it as an act of desperation. I don't necessarily think that's true.

It could always work out, but I'd much rather meet women and approach them on my own.

 

[God's lonely asperger]

Only been set up to psychiatric appointments. I'm satisfied as long as the next one isn't for the ward.

Arranged marriages were always sort of a thing, and still is in India and rare weird countries. No real reason to be opposed to it, like you detail.

 

[Thomas More]

I think it is common for a match to occur through friends. The man is introduced to a woman that his friends know, or vice versa. The way to do this is to schedule a group activity, like a cookout, and invite both parties, as part of a larger number of guests. You might also tell each about the other, but be subtle about it. It's normal to tell people about some of your friends, so just mention your friend Sally, who is a surgical nurse (or whatever), and don't make a big deal about it.

Just put them in the same room together without trying to create any expectations, and see if they start talking and hit it off.

I think trying to actually set up a date creates too much pressure. A group social event with no expectations is the way to go.

 

[Sandalwood Peak]

How is someone going to set us up during peak whorepocalypse in the west?

It’s not 1924, where the girl down the street is sitting on her hands waiting for a man to appear.

A friend group, one with extroverted men, will help you get laid with a type of woman YouTube is flooded with complaints about. Even if shes semi-normal, she still is guaranteed to be a liberal. What kind of woman floats friend group to friend group, doing extracurriculars? If by luck you’re friends with some guys who found real tradwives, then directly ask them and hope for the best.

Married people and couples don’t know any women other than leftover woman. Most married people don’t even like having single friends and will sabotage each other even if they can find one. So if you want to be set up with an overweight 29 year old with a mustache, then I would recommend telling any couple you meet you’re desperate for a date. They’ll make it happen.

 

[Get2choppaaa]

My wife's mother/uncle set us up...or at least introduced us and highly encouraged us to go out.

Her mother was my divorce attny 5 years prior and her uncle was a fellow Marine.

Best thing that ever happened to me.

 

[Blade Runner]

How is someone going to set us up during peak whorepocalypse in the west?

It’s not 1924, where the girl down the street is sitting on her hands waiting for a man to appear.

This is just the straight truth. Without a need, perceived need, or concern for men at all, they've become accessories. I tried to be nice to a few people and come through with showing up and giving a few instances a shot, since they were so rare (I asked myself the same question as OP, why is this SO rare especially in smaller religious or ethnic communities) but it's almost always baggage or no physical beauty. Even if no kids, it's still something like divorced and in 30s, which means, meh

Married people and couples don’t know any women other than leftover woman.

It's the social aspect once you are out of the 20s that's gone, and this is spot on. I'll add one more - my fav topic - the social taboo of age gaps. Not that you'd want a 20 something western girl anyway, but married people DO know younger girls but they'll say stuff (and only the older women) like "she might be too young for you" to which I always respond, "No, she's too old" and laugh. They usually don't. That's how far gone this society and gynocentric nonsense is, they can't even be honest that men desire young and pretty, period. Even if they aren't pretty, these women all married young, which makes it more bizarre. Am I marrying a woman for companionship? Did women get interesting all of a sudden in life? LOL

Best thing that ever happened to me.

Good stuff, but your situation was different to start and improbable to say the least, still. Nevertheless, I'm glad it happened since you are obviously quite pleased.

 

[Get2choppaaa]

Good stuff, but your situation was different to start and improbable to say the least, still. Nevertheless, I'm glad it happened since you are obviously quite pleased.

I don't think it's that uncommon actually. At least it hasn't been in my life. I've had family and family friends set me up with prospects on at least 4 occasions before I met my current wife.

Unfortunately most of these women hinder were terrible choices for me, but I was referred to them none the less ...

Kinda depends on your social connection I suppose.

 

[Unending Powerhouse Match]

I agree that it's probably one card in the humongous deck of psyops that the Jews are constantly playing against us in a really awful game of Yu-Gi-Oh where if you lose, you actually go to the shadow realm (hell). They're doing so much to reduce the birth rate, thoroughly destroying all of the institutions and customs and places that used to allow for men and women to get together, why would they leave this alone?

"Oh, your father knows a girl who he thinks is right for you? Well, that's lame AS HELL, and you're a virgin loser if you need your CRINGE BOOMER dad to be your wingman, goy."

It's actually rather subtle and I wouldn't have made the connection if you had not pointed it out. I have seen this in media but I never thought anything of it. Just goes to further show how egregious talmudvision is, when I keep finding new evil things about it on a roughly biweekly basis.

That being said, who is a normie going to match you up with? Nothing good. Look, I love my parents, God bless them, but I've seen the types of women they call things like "smart", and I therefore don't want woman recommendations from them. Same goes for all my friends and extended family. They just don't think like me, they don't see the world in the way I do, because I was trained for years by various internet racists to master the art of thinking-like-a-normal-Christian-guy-100-years-ago-jitsu, and they were not, so when determining whether a woman is "good", they'll ask themselves stupid questions like "Does she know a lot of wacky facts? Does she have a career?" and not questions I care about like "Has she ever stepped foot in a church out of her own volition in her entire life, and if so, did she immediately burst into flames or was she okay?".

 

[aero]

As I look forward to yet another dateless Saturday night, I think about how married people or couples who know I'm single never set me up with their friends. I'm not sure if this is just something that happens to me or if others experience this too. What I have noticed though is this act is looked down upon by our culture, taught through our media via TV shows and movies. Every time I see someone play matchmaker, it's met with derision by the other character.

For instance, just the other night I was watching Frasier. Since the character of Frasier had been dateless for longer than he could remember, his dad tried to set him up with a girl from work. But Frasier, even as lonely as he was, turned him down. That is until his father convinced him that she was a looker. But initially, you would've thought he asked Frasier if he'd like a root canal.

Why is this act being looked down upon as some horrible thing in life like paying taxes? It makes me wonder if there's an ulterior motive here at work; like maybe to keep us single all our lives. I'd guess that it's affecting our society and making others think twice about setting up a friend because they keep seeing characters on TV reacting so horribly to the idea.

Anyone here been set up before or know someone whose been set up by others?

Are these would be match makers actual friends of yours that you spend time with or are these just acquaintances you exchange pleasantries with who happen to know you are a single guy? If they were actual friends of yours who you spent time with you would have already been introduced to their female friends through social gatherings.

I hope you don't throw off the same level of red flags in real life as you do on this forum, that's probably a huge part of your problem. People aren't going to look at a desperate victim mentality older single man and think "gee I ought to really bring this guy around my single attractive female friends".

 

[Sandalwood Peak]

Are these would be match makers actual friends of yours that you spend time with or are these just acquaintances you exchange pleasantries with who happen to know you are a single guy? If they were actual friends of yours who you spent time with you would have already been introduced to their female friends through social gatherings.

I hope you don't throw off the same level of red flags in real life as you do on this forum, that's probably a huge part of your problem. People aren't going to look at a desperate victim mentality older single man and think "gee I ought to really bring this guy around my single attractive female friends".

No offence but this such a normie comment I have to laugh. You think OP might be too weird for people to introduce him to women? An “introduction” is borderline harmless because habitually single people are the pickiest people alive and 9/10 it leads nowhere.

If you’re a man who struggles to understand/read other men then most likely you’re married to a whore and probably have a whore daughter to boot, since that would make you absolutely retarded. I’ve met many guys like this, they’re everywhere. Relating to other men’s struggles is probably the easiest activity I can partake in. It takes A LOT for me to think you’re a degenerate. It wouldn’t even be called “red flags” at that point, since people would be crossing the street to avoid you. If your wife thinks some struggling man is a wierdo then it would be your job to educate her. I wouldn’t want to be set up by such people.

It doesn’t mean people are obligated to hook you up, but I can’t imagine going out of my way to avoid introducing an acquaintance to a woman. A woman left to her own devices will find the worst stain on society imaginable. Most women will shock you with the garbage they find, have you asking yourself “I didn’t even know this town had this kind of POS”. I would love for women to hook up with someone I’m friendly with.

 

[Blade Runner]

Look, I love my parents, God bless them, but I've seen the types of women they call things like "smart", and I therefore don't want woman recommendations from them.

Forget smart, which of course is very nice to have and secondary overall - you can barely find many 6s around so how are other people going to? But that's the plan, the idea is to actually have someone to offer who is attractive. Youth can be a relative substitute but they won't even do that these days (or for the last 20 years mostly), sadly.

You think OP might be too weird for people to introduce him to women?

This is classic internet-ism. It's around these parts because there are a lot of complainers and those who seek refuge, so it's understandable but I share your amusement.

It doesn’t mean people are obligated to hook you up, but I can’t imagine going out of my way to avoid introducing an acquaintance to a woman.

Exactly. You're normal though. I've said many times that older women AND older men don't want another man to enjoy the company of a younger woman. That's just the world we live in, at least in the postmodern/fem west.

I would love for women to hook up with someone I’m friendly with.

I agree, if a good match, then why not? Disrupt the chaos game and theory. Again, most don't feel this way.

 

[Blade Runner]

A side question here, which I have thought about recently, being over 40: Do you guys ever think about the fact that although you do well, are still in good shape, maybe losing hair but looking good though older, etc, the society thinks effectively that you are ancient? I know that overseas is the only option, but I'm trying to get a sense for just how stupid this society is since we are a small minority here and possibly a type echo chamber, though correct on most things.

 

[Maddox]

Are these would be match makers actual friends of yours that you spend time with or are these just acquaintances you exchange pleasantries with who happen to know you are a single guy? If they were actual friends of yours who you spent time with you would have already been introduced to their female friends through social gatherings.

I hope you don't throw off the same level of red flags in real life as you do on this forum, that's probably a huge part of your problem. People aren't going to look at a desperate victim mentality older single man and think "gee I ought to really bring this guy around my single attractive female friends".

The only friends I have living near me now are much younger than I am, so that is probably why they are not setting me up; because they don't know anyone my age, and don't want to set up a friend of theirs with an older man. This might of also been the case in the last location I lived. To be honest though, when you're a middle-aged man, you just don't have a lot of friends.

But I'm not some weirdo. Not sure if you're getting that impression from this post or the forum in general. If just from this post, I guess I can understand how you'd think that. I assure you, I act quite normal around others and do not make displays of being thirsty.

 

[Blade Runner]

This might of also been the case in the last location I lived. To be honest though, when you're a middle-aged man, you just don't have a lot of friends.

I've thought a lot about the social aspects of how things change over time, and in particular to the USA/western context, which I have lived. I think you are aware of my thoughts on this, Maddox. As you get to mid 30s and older, all social interaction breaks down, and where it doesn't it's actually really good, since you trade quantity for quality. The problem is that without even peripheral connections or reasons to be around many others (whether "good" friends or not) you exponentially diminish the ability to meet chance people and increase the odds that what you bring to the table might be desired. Since western people either do well, well enough (women) or their parents have a lot (spoiled), any success from a man is generally watered down, right or wrong, as perceived by others.

This is generally the reason overseas is so important, and its additive features of women realizing since monetary success is harder to come by, they have to be young. The current western woman is so spoiled or propagandized, they think an interesting man is only a similar age guy that has the resources of a man who is in his 50s. It is beyond preposterous at this point, and is evidenced by the surveys of women who think most men make between 100-500k a year, or at least 30-40% do so they shouldn't have to worry about finding one.

 

[staddlelateen]

The only friends I have living near me now are much younger than I am, so that is probably why they are not setting me up; because they don't know anyone my age, and don't want to set up a friend of theirs with an older man. This might of also been the case in the last location I lived. To be honest though, when you're a middle-aged man, you just don't have a lot of friends.

But I'm not some weirdo. Not sure if you're getting that impression from this post or the forum in general. If just from this post, I guess I can understand how you'd think that. I assure you, I act quite normal around others and do not make displays of being thirsty.

No one cares about men, especially older men. Just look at the homeless population. It's 90% older men. It's one of life's hardest truths. If you want to get a woman, you're going to have to do it yourself. Honestly, I would take Blade Runner's advice and go abroad to find a woman there.

 

[Blade Runner]

No one cares about men, especially older men. Just look at the homeless population. It's 90% older men. It's one of life's hardest truths. If you want to get a woman, you're going to have to do it yourself. Honestly, I would take Blade Runner's advice and go abroad to find a woman there.

We're on the same page. Even if there are exceptions, it is a prove the rule type phenomenon. Unfortunately, it's pretty clear that the dog eat dog world comes out on this topic, though it makes no sense: there is and should be great interest in families honing in on good men for their daughters or relatives. I wonder if some of these dads actually think their daughters make good decisions on average, or they just don't care and mail it in after a while - just like with their wives (What can I do? Just don't annoy me). It's an interesting question.

 

[Wutang]

I told this story once on the old Roosh forums. I was part of this church small group and one of the people leading it set up a meet-up for me with one of her old university classmates since I had told her in the past that I was on the dating market. The friend she set me up with was some sort of corporate lawyer in NYC but was a church goer and actually was some sort of group leader at her church for kids and teens. I was told that she was a "good Christian girl" so I figured it was worth meeting up with her just to see what's she like.

Well we met up in the city and one of the first things she told me was that she was already semi-seeing someone. Despite that, we were already at this food court type place and I hadn't eaten so I figured I might as well get something to eat and hang out with her for a bit. I had made the mistake of talking politics on dates with other girls prior so I had told myself I would avoid that going forward, but once we sat down to eat the very first thing she asked me was what I thought about the government shutdown (this was during Trump's presidency). I think you guys can already guess how the rest of this played out.

I remember the subject of homosexuality came up at some point and her comment about that was "I know what the Bible says about that...but -". This girl had gone to Colombia University for undergrad and seems to have been a NYC resident for most of her life so I saw this an example of how much being in a very "worldly" environment can really just cause you to compromise your values. Also while the woman definitely wasn't a dummy and was well-spoken, I remember being underwhelmed with the points that she was giving me when we were talking about Trump. Everything she was telling me were basic MSM talking points with her ivy league and law school education not really adding on any additional depth to what I was hearing and reading all the time from CNN, New York Times, etc.

 

[GodfatherPartTwo]

I had made the mistake of talking politics on dates with other girls prior so I had told myself I would avoid that going forward, but once we sat down to eat the very first thing she asked me was what I thought about the government shutdown (this was during Trump's presidency). I think you guys can already guess how the rest of this played out.

Of all the things to discuss, imagine worrying about "the government shutdown." Leftists have way too much time on their hands.

 

[Blade Runner]

came up at some point and her comment about that was

you just jogged my memory regarding a similar encounter a long while back (I think I was even in medical school at the time)

anyway, I met a girl (I think her father was literally a priest, by the way) and talked to her for a bit and the question came out, pretty directly "are you anti homo?"

I couldn't believe it on so many different levels, beyond the fact that that would even be asked, let alone asked like that

amazing world we live in with these modern ... I'll just leave it at that.