Elopement/Wedding Planning

[TheSurveyor]

Hello Everyone,

So my fiancée and I are getting married are were considering an elopement type of wedding. We thought about how stressful having a wedding reception would be for both of us (we both have large families).

Note: We are both practicing Catholics and plan on going all out for The Mass. Just the reception is what we want to skimp out on. We’re planning on inviting close family and friends, feeding them and then calling it a day.

My family doesn’t really support this decision and are the usual “big party” type. Probably comes from a more modern misunderstanding that the reception is more important than the ceremony, when in reality, it’s the other way around.

What are your thoughts? Did any of you elope? Or do you think it’s important to have a proper reception?

 

[Thomas More]

Hello Everyone,

So my fiancée and I are getting married are were considering an elopement type of wedding. We thought about how stressful having a wedding reception would be for both of us (we both have large families).

Note: We are both practicing Catholics and plan on going all out for The Mass. Just the reception is what we want to skimp out on. We’re planning on inviting close family and friends, feeding them and then calling it a day.

My family doesn’t really support this decision and are the usual “big party” type. Probably comes from a more modern misunderstanding that the reception is more important than the ceremony, when in reality, it’s the other way around.

What are your thoughts? Did any of you elope? Or do you think it’s important to have a proper reception?

Congratulations on the upcoming wedding!

Can you just have a reception in the church hall with punch and cake? That's much cheaper than a banquet room with full meals and bar.

Big family get togethers are very important at weddings and funerals, but you're right not to want to pay $50-100/head for 200 people.

 

[Seng Hock]

I am not married yet, so I don't have direct experience with this. However, I remember seeing a post on RVF that talks about it.

On one hand, marriage is a once-in-a-lifetime ceremony, and it's also a sacrament. Therefore, it would be wise to treat this special event with the utmost care. Make the marriage ceremony count. It also marks the beginning of a marriage, so it would be wise to start it with all effort. I know people who rented a very large reception hall and invited 1.000 people to their wedding.

On the other hand, some people don't like to invite too many people, don't like the hassle, or don't want to spend an extraordinary amount of funds on the wedding and would rather save it for married life. I know some people who only invited close friends and family members. Every church usually has some kind of hall, meeting room, gazebo, etc. that parishioners can rent for the reception after the marriage ceremony. I see Thomas has already posted about this above.

Congratulations on your wedding!

 

[Get2choppaaa]

You don't have to spend a whole lot on the reception or wedding itself. Your options may vary but I would encourage you look at an early wedding service and a brunch/lunch type reception.

It is important for the families. We had 100 people there. Wedding was in the morning 11 am. Reception followed at the Church Hall. By 3 pm we were done and it was all over.

I paid for mine and it cost me $2500

$1000 for the photographer
$400 for the Church hall/facilites
$300 for clergy
$200 for the flowers
$600 for wine/champagne/beer/food.

It was really worth it for us to have the wonderful ceremony and be able to walk nextdoor and have the party. And all the photos were really nice for both sets of family and our friends.

You won't appreciate it that day. But when you look back you will.

 

[TruckDriver9]

If she tells You, she doesn't want a wedding reception:

Just like when she might tell You, she doesn't want anniversary gifts, or that she's not hungry.
Wedding is the only day when she will legit feel like a princess - the dress, all the attention, etc. If You don't deliver, she will hold it against You.

 

[TheSurveyor]

Congratulations on the upcoming wedding!

Can you just have a reception in the church hall with punch and cake? That's much cheaper than a banquet room with full meals and bar.

Big family get togethers are very important at weddings and funerals, but you're right not to want to pay $50-100/head for 200 people.

So here’s the update: getting married relatively soonish. We’re having a smaller wedding/elopement. We’re inviting a small number of close relatives and keeping costs low. Keep us in your prayers!