A Day in the Life of Donald Trump’s Greater Israel
7:00 AM: You wake up groaning under 40% annual inflation. Fox News is extolling what a great honor it is to send Israel $50 billion dollars (the latest monthly extension) and what a great honor it is that the draft is being reinstated to fight in war against Iran which, unfortunately, requires boots on the ground. News claims that giant corporations have scaled back DEI, though, and they recommend doing your patriotic duty and signing up as soon as possible to help our greatest ally!
8:00 AM: You head to work (early, you need to work 2-3 jobs to not even make ends meet). The number of non-whites despite Trump's "mass deportations of illegals" is greater than ever - it almost seems like he's "illegally deporting" in reverse and bringing more in. Well, he did expand the H1b visa program for Indians by 2 million per year, but at least that's legal immigration, right?
9:00 AM: You receive an email announcing your draft number. Luckily selective service is digital and they have all of your information, so you don't have to go into a physical location! It's very convenient. Your draft number puts you at least a couple months out from service - the war will have to be over by then, right? ...right?
12:00 PM: You use your Trump-sponsored CBDC to buy lunch. Luckily it's not programmed yet to prohibit you from purchasing meat, but the news says those regulations are coming to help combat global warming.
2:00 PM: You try to go on the internet to independent sites but, after the "Iranian hack", internet use is strictly monitored - for your own good, of course. Reddit and Fox News are still easily accessible, though, so you can take comfort in that.
3:00 PM: It's always a strange thing watching liberals on the street wear pro-Trump t-shirts, but that's what it's come to. You observe liberals, obese boomers, and even a smattering of Mexicans and blacks wearing Trump t-shirts -- he's brought them all together. It almost brings a tear to the eye.
6:00 PM: Your obese liberal girlfriend is wearing her Trump t-shirt again as she waddles around your small, dimly lit apartment. "Look how reasonable and moderate I am, I can update my opinion to take in new information. Look, even Reddit has come around on him!" she exclaims proudly. You want to die.
8:00 PM: You look at your account balances - they're negative, you will need to take out another payday loan. You can't let yourself get fired either as Trump cut back on unemployment benefits (but not for non-whites).
10:00 PM: You can't take it any longer; you cry, and cry some more. There is no hope. You turn on Fox News and, like Winston Smith, try to appreciate that it's all worth it because Israel just annexed parts of Lebanon, Syria, and Egypt. You're doing your part.