Dinner Parties in a Degenerate Age

S

stadtaffe

Orthodox
Heirloom
Over the last few months I was invited to some dinner parties, and it reminded me of something that seems to not exist much anymore as it once did.

I was talking to a friend about how that used to be a more common thing, cooking, inviting people around, sitting at a dining table, and even without googling it I could surmise on my own why this does not happen much anymore
  • why cook when you can order uber eats which also saves you cleaning up?
  • why make conversation with people when you can just read and message on your phone?
  • cooking skills in general are declining
  • the mainstream culture does not allow political disagreements or discussions anymore
Those were my thoughts on why the mainstream may not be into it, but it seems the internet has no shortage of articles on this topic :

www.dailydot.com

Screens, space, or woke friends? People are debating the decline of dinner parties

'Maybe there's no dinner parties because we're not allowed to disagree with friends.'
www.dailydot.com www.dailydot.com
+
+
www.uexpress.com

Are Dinner Parties Dead? - Miss Manners

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Though our family was not wealthy, I inherited Mom’s china, silver, crystal and linens, and I love using them. They remind me of her, an...
www.uexpress.com www.uexpress.com
+
www.verywellmind.com

Dinner Parties Are In for 2025, And They’re Essential to Easing Our Crisis of Connection

Dinner parties have become hugely popular in the past year, so we put together a guide on how to host one and reap all the mental health benefits—especially for the socially anxious among us.
www.verywellmind.com www.verywellmind.com

I looked at all those articles and may quote some sections when time allows.

I can cook, with a bit of effort, have participated in hosting birthdays and the like but right now lack both the dining table and the utensils, let alone the guests. I'm trying to psych myself up to this as I definitely respect the folks I know in various places who do this.

The elites want a more atomised society, to dumb everyone down, discourage thinking and discussion and so the MSM is not really going to encourage or endorse dinner parties any more.

Do any of you host dinner parties or are planing to start? Any thoughts on this topic in general? It's only going to work in 2025 with certain kind of guests I would think, more of a fringe activity these days unfortunately.
 
Funny I went to one which was a bit high society recently, a married couple invited me who were stealthily trying to hook me up with the sister of the wife, there were also two other couples there. It was a nice time until one of the wives turned out to be a horrendous liberal and that's all she wanted to talk about. Everyone else just shut up and let her go with it because they actually had decorum and didn't want to ruin the evening, unfortunately she did that all on her own she couldn't take the hint when nobody was engaging and just kept going.

The couple called everyone after we left apologizing, they had no idea, apparently even the husband of the woman offered an apology. My only advice would be to choose your guests carefully, even if you avoid social issues and politics some just can't help themselves.

Before that the last one I went to was more casual and it was as a couple. It was really nice until the girl I was dating at the time basically decided to use everything that was talked about as something to attack with later with wild accusations. Which was pretty hypocritical considering the things her family and friends would talk about around me, but you can't reason with crazy I suppose. So she ruined it, again make sure you have the right guests....
 
Last edited:
My wife and I used to have people over for backyard BBQs and holiday dinners. These meet a lot of the same purposes as a dinner party. However I think a dinner party is something more specific, more focused on sitting around the table for food and conversation. I haven't actually been to a true dinner party for a long time.
 
FrancisK said:
Funny I went to one which was a bit high society recently, a married couple invited me who were stealthily trying to hook me up with the sister of the wife, there were also two other couples there. It was a nice time until one of the wives turned out to be a horrendous liberal and that's all she wanted to talk about. Everyone else just shut up and let her go with it because they actually had decorum and didn't want to ruin the evening, unfortunately she did that all on her own she couldn't take the hint when nobody was engaging and just kept going.

The couple called everyone after we left apologizing, they had no idea, apparently even the husband of the woman offered an apology. My only advice would be to choose your guests carefully, even if you avoid social issues and politics some just can't help themselves.

Before that the last one I went to was more casual and it was as a couple. It was really nice until the girl I was dating at the time basically decided to use everything that was talked about as something to attack with later with wild accusations. Which was pretty hypocritical considering the things her family and friends would talk about around me, but you can't reason with crazy I suppose. So she ruined it, again make sure you have the right guests....
Click to expand...
Again this is a problem with a lot of liberals they just need to shove their views down other people's throats. Most conservatives are okay with other people having a different opinion and are happy to be live and let live whereas the ultra liberals need everybody in the world to know their opinion and agree with them and if you do not agree you are a horrible person.
 
FrancisK said:
Funny I went to one which was a bit high society recently, a married couple invited me who were stealthily trying to hook me up with the sister of the wife, there were also two other couples there.
Click to expand...
You were essentially a 5th wheel at a couples' dinner party? Good for you, man, these things get old when you're consistently sticking out and eventually it just gets painful. Was the wife's sister decent, or brutal? Just curious since those kind of things usually turn out to be old/fat/uggo girl.

I think the old school dinner parties were more just community events to engender better trust and hope for friends. Looking back, there wasn't as much to do and people were probably OK with it as a way to just do something. Also, if we're really honest, most people certainly from the 1970s on were the same overall now, I'm sure: high school clique-ish, not all that reliable, etc. While the culture was better, much of it is romanticized, even back to the 50s. People were absolutely debased as much throughout the 20th century, it was just largely hidden or less known/media promoted or infested. The 20s in the US, by the way, and in Germany (obviously) were full degenerate in a lot of big cities.
 
A few more reasons why having friends over for dinner is uncommon:
  • Cost of housing: you don't want to invite too many people into a cramped apartment, or over to your parent's house if you live with them
  • Conflicting schedules: when work takes up most of your lives and you have different hobbies, very hard to get timings aligned
  • Cleanup: nobody likes having to do a big pile of dishes the next morning
  • Family: if you have a wife and kids, they take priority
I'm fortunate to have a small group of like-minded individuals with whom I try to catch up with as often as I can spare. We've had at least one pot-luck gathering where everyone brings or prepares a dish, but more often it's easier to have a cheese and meat platter over wine, which is just as pleasing. More often we go to a restaurant that allows BYO wines, which are rare because that cuts into their beverage profits.

Despite all that, I believe there has never been a better time to do dinner gatherings, given the high costs of eating out. If everyone learns a few solid recipes, comes together and open a few bottles of wine, there's no reason you couldn't have a veritable feast at a fraction of the cost of most restaurants.
 
It seems in many ways hosting people in your home in general has become much less common.

I remember before cell phones people would just drop by your house sometimes to hang out. It wasn't a big deal, and you'd maybe have a couple of beers, and catch up.

Even when it was planned, hosting at one's house to watch a movie, grill some food, and whatnot was considered pretty normal.

Now every time someone wants to hang out it's going somewhere where you will spend a lot of money. Of course it doesn't help that the cost of everything has skyrocketed.
 
Blade Runner said:
You were essentially a 5th wheel at a couples' dinner party? Good for you, man, these things get old when you're consistently sticking out and eventually it just gets painful. Was the wife's sister decent, or brutal? Just curious since those kind of things usually turn out to be old/fat/uggo girl.

I think the old school dinner parties were more just community events to engender better trust and hope for friends. Looking back, there wasn't as much to do and people were probably OK with it as a way to just do something. Also, if we're really honest, most people certainly from the 1970s on were the same overall now, I'm sure: high school clique-ish, not all that reliable, etc. While the culture was better, much of it is romanticized, even back to the 50s. People were absolutely debased as much throughout the 20th century, it was just largely hidden or less known/media promoted or infested. The 20s in the US, by the way, and in Germany (obviously) were full degenerate in a lot of big cities.
Click to expand...

No it was 8 of us total, they told me the sister would be there to convince me it was okay when I told them I wasn't going to come to a couples thing. I didn't know they were trying to play matchmaker, guess I should have assumed.

I had never met the sister before or even seen pictures of her, she was really really REALLY sexy. Notice I didn't say beautiful, cute or pretty....only sexy. She knew she was sexy if you understand what I mean. Not my type, not for anything real anyway and my days of wasting my time putting time and effort into the "fun" girl are over, learned my lessons.
 
Australia Sucks said:
Again this is a problem with a lot of liberals they just need to shove their views down other people's throats. Most conservatives are okay with other people having a different opinion and are happy to be live and let live whereas the ultra liberals need everybody in the world to know their opinion and agree with them and if you do not agree you are a horrible person.
Click to expand...

Yes, in the "can you be friends with liberals" thread my take was that you can be friends with them yes, but they can't be friends with you.

The one and only liberal friend I had that was actively in my life lost her mind after Trump won and told me she would never talk to me again over unhinged nonsense. Good riddance...
 
Blade Runner said:
You were essentially a 5th wheel at a couples' dinner party? Good for you, man, these things get old when you're consistently sticking out and eventually it just gets painful. Was the wife's sister decent, or brutal? Just curious since those kind of things usually turn out to be old/fat/uggo girl.

I think the old school dinner parties were more just community events to engender better trust and hope for friends. Looking back, there wasn't as much to do and people were probably OK with it as a way to just do something. Also, if we're really honest, most people certainly from the 1970s on were the same overall now, I'm sure: high school clique-ish, not all that reliable, etc. While the culture was better, much of it is romanticized, even back to the 50s. People were absolutely debased as much throughout the 20th century, it was just largely hidden or less known/media promoted or infested. The 20s in the US, by the way, and in Germany (obviously) were full degenerate in a lot of big cities.
Click to expand...

I see this potentially shifting soon as more and more girls get burnt out from the "swipe right" scene.
The pretty, sought after girls might just start showing up more.
But yes, definitely there was a 1 in 10 chance something like this worked and usually upon entering the room your were like "ohhhhhh shiiii......"
 
I suggest you meet up with those in your church and ask them if they'd like to have dinner. Either they can host or you can. My pastor frequently hosts dinner that his wife cooks. And so I will hang out, some other people from the church will be there. We will invite guests who visit the church. It is a good thing. When my friend and I became new members at our church, we made it a point to have a dinner get together with each family there. I didn't meet my grandmother until the same year she died. I would visit her and cook steak dinners with wine for her, my dad, my brother, and I. I remember one time the four of us were sitting around this small table eating when she said "I like this, it feels like we are a family."

I did not grow up having dinner with my family. So the traditional family dinner was foreign to me. But I can tell you, it is a good thing. Fast food has sort of replaced the family dinner. I love church pot luck. You don't know what you have until it's gone.
 
FrancisK said:
Funny I went to one which was a bit high society recently, a married couple invited me who were stealthily trying to hook me up with the sister of the wife, there were also two other couples there. It was a nice time until one of the wives turned out to be a horrendous liberal and that's all she wanted to talk about. Everyone else just shut up and let her go with it because they actually had decorum and didn't want to ruin the evening, unfortunately she did that all on her own she couldn't take the hint when nobody was engaging and just kept going.

The couple called everyone after we left apologizing, they had no idea, apparently even the husband of the woman offered an apology. My only advice would be to choose your guests carefully, even if you avoid social issues and politics some just can't help themselves.

Before that the last one I went to was more casual and it was as a couple. It was really nice until the girl I was dating at the time basically decided to use everything that was talked about as something to attack with later with wild accusations. Which was pretty hypocritical considering the things her family and friends would talk about around me, but you can't reason with crazy I suppose. So she ruined it, again make sure you have the right guests....
Click to expand...
Same thing happened to me yesterday at a lunch I went to. American Democrat woman took over the conversation just spouting Democrat talking points. Everyone else was polite but it ruined the atmos.
 
To the point of dealing with those with different views (left vs right, conservative vs liberal, male vs female), it's a fact of life that not everyone is going to think the same as you. Either bear with it, learn to change the subject, or simply stop associating with them.

I know I'm in the minority when I support Trump over Biden, so I just don't mention it. If it comes up in conversation, I just shrug, maybe crack a wry smile and comment that we live in interesting times. There are times where it's better to be friendly than to be right.

An excerpt from one of my favourite books:

"115.
Get used to the failings of your friends, family, and acquaintances, as you do to ugly faces. Where there is dependence, try for convenience. There are nasty-minded people whom we cannot live with and cannot live without. It takes skill to get used to them, as we do to ugliness, so that they won’t surprise us on some dire occasion. At first they frighten us, but little by little they stop looking so horrible, and caution foresees, or learns to tolerate, their unpleasantness."
 
That's an interesting thought regarding "dinner parties." I associate the Classic American Dinner Party very much with Boomers. People my age and younger don't really do formal "sit-down" dinners at peoples homes. We're much less formal... backyard bbq or everyone brings something type of get-togethers is much more common (at least in my social circle). Younger people don't even have homes... can't have a proper dinner party without a "dinning room."

Younger people who literally can't afford the space to have people over for dinner obviously choose to go out.

"Avocado toast"

ETA: If you're wanting to try out a dinner party someday, I would suggest trying an Open House first. This is a casual open invitation for invitees to stop by for a bit and have a refreshment. They're usually held in the afternoon within a time block (i.e., 1pm-4pm) sometimes around a holiday. People pop in and out, some stay for a while. It's a way to invite all kinds of people over to mingle or whatever without trapping anyone. It's good practice for having people over.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top