Dealing with protestant jabs constantly

xLeaves

xLeaves

Hey there guys, I'm cradle catholic. I live with my cousin and his wife, who are protestants, they attend a reformed calavinst church.

Lately, if I'm being honest I feel a growing sense of bitnerness towards them for constant jabs at me and always mischaracterizing the Catholic Church and its beliefs. We just follow the bible and the Catholic Church doesn't, et cetera, et cetera.

I don't mind people not understanding Catholicism, (I'm always learning about it too, I wouldn't claim to be a expert about Catholicism either), and asking questions about it if they're coming from a place of sincerity. But they always throw jabs towards me about it.

The classic ones like like idol worship, worshipping Mary, putting Mary above jesus, the abuse scandals, praying to the dead in relation to Saints, my rosery beads, it's starting to become quite hurtful. It's all done with a air of superiority and ignorance. My cousins wife's family are heavily anti-catholic and pass down strong prejudices to everyone in they're family; but they themselves don't ever really examine why they hold those positions in the first place. A quick google search will tell them otherwise. I'm not even sure they take Christianity seriously, it's just what they have been raised with. It's seems more like a family identity to me.

Not going to lie, I haven't been wholly innocent here though. After the constant jabs, I found myself doing the exact same thing, but too them. You could even say I've mischaracterized a lot of Protestant positions too, So I'm no better, it's just crazy how the quiet resentment has stirred in me about it, that I retaliate with pride and argumentation. I just recently lost my cool today about it. I'm starting to feel anger towards them, and don't like that I'm feeling this way towards people I Love.

I just recently found out through a family friend, my cousin doesn't want to attend our bible study sessions anymore, apparently because of the prayers we do, and because he's feels like a traitor in a sense to his Protestant beliefs? We study the bible, say a few catholic prayers, nothing crazy. It's wild. Of course, this is all conjecture and that's just what some people have told me, but knowing him and but also living with him, it doesn't seem to far out of the realm of possibility for him. I just wished he was transparent with me.

He recently told me, he always found the Catholic Church was creepy aesthetically because he watched a lot of horror flims, and this painted Catholicism in a negative light for him. Which is just stupid to me personally.

It just hurts. It's starting to really hurt my personal faith with this growing resentment. I find myself getting into to arguments out of egotism, to affrim my Catholic positions. I know this isn't what the the Lord wants. It's prideful.

I truly don't hate anyone, and always rejoice when people find the Lord, and take they're faith seriously. Even if it's outside the Catholic Church. We may disagree about certain things when it's comes to theology, but the core remains there. We both believe in Jesus, the resurrection, the crucifixion, and the trinity.


I'm sorry for venting guys, I just wanna see if anyone had similar experience to me. Because it's starting to knaw away at me. Peace be with everyone, and God Bless. Pray for me.
 
I’m a convert and I get the same thing from my dad’s side of the family. Gently correct them when a mischaracterization happens and move on. A little bit of distance can help with these things as well. Probably not practical for you at the moment but it’s easy to nitpick when you live together.
 
Palsofchaos said:
I’m a convert and I get the same thing from my dad’s side of the family. Gently correct them when a mischaracterization happens and move on. A little bit of distance can help with these things as well. Probably not practical for you at the moment but it’s easy to nitpick when you live together.
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For sure, I'm just trying to not talk about it because I'm not getting anything fruitful out of it. Nor do I feel competent enough to talk about heavy theological issues when I'm not really well versed in this area to even have a productive conversation about it. If anything having these conversations just shows how ignorant I am because I know so little. I want to learn about it because I'm curious, not to learn about it just to spite them to win a argument. It's comforting to know you also struggle with it.

I'm just going to quietly pray, read, and go to mass. God Bless.
 
@xLeaves I assume your extended family are not theologians. Here are some counterarguments, corrections, and considerations for you to have when you are pressed by people like this again, whether from inside your family our outside. These are refutations but also just knowledge that most lay Christians don't always possess:

Regarding the idea that "Catholics don't follow the Bible":

The Catholic Church compiled the Bible: The early Church discerned and canonized the Bible in the late 4th century (Councils of Hippo and Carthage, ratified by Pope Damasus I). Without the Church's authority, the Protestant canon wouldn't exist. Catholicism follows Scripture and Tradition: 2 Thessalonians 2:15 explicitly instructs believers to "stand firm and hold to the traditions" handed down by word or letter. The Church preserves both as complementary sources of Divine Revelation.

Regarding the accusation of idol worship and praying to saints:

Catholics venerate saints; they do not worship them. Worship is reserved for God alone (latria), while veneration (dulia) is respect and honor for God's friends. Intercession is biblical: Asking saints to intercede is akin to asking friends to pray for us (James 5:16). Saints, being alive in Christ (Luke 20:38), can intercede for us (Revelation 5:8, Revelation 8:3-4). Statues and images are not idols: Exodus 25:18-20 describes God commanding the creation of cherubim for the Ark of the Covenant. These images served as reminders of God's presence, not objects of worship.

Regarding their belief that Catholics worship Mary and put her above Jesus:

Catholics honor Mary because she is the Mother of God (Theotokos), as defined at the Council of Ephesus (431 AD) and supported by Luke 1:43, where Elizabeth calls her "the mother of my Lord." Mary points to Jesus: At the Wedding at Cana (John 2:5), Mary directs the servants, "Do whatever He tells you." Marian doctrines glorify God: The Immaculate Conception, Assumption, and her title as Queen of Heaven reflect God's grace and the dignity He bestows on her as the mother of Christ. These teachings highlight Jesus' divinity and role as Savior.

Regarding the abuse scandals in the Church (all mostly post Vatican II):

Acknowledge the sin and wrongdoing: The Church is made up of fallible humans, and abuses must be condemned and addressed. Remember the distinction between sinners and the Church: The Church as the Body of Christ (Ephesians 5:27) is holy, even if its members sometimes fail. No institution is immune: Abuse scandals are not exclusive to the Catholic Church but occur in Protestant communities and other organizations. Condemnation should be universal, not selective.

This part below is just in case you have to show them that their Church is not immune to scandals because of the individual infallibility of weak-willed men:

Sexual Abuse Scandals​

  • Southern Baptist Convention (SBC):
    • A 2019 report revealed over 700 cases of sexual abuse spanning 20 years involving hundreds of pastors and church leaders.
    • Allegations include cover-ups and lack of accountability across SBC-affiliated churches.
  • Ravi Zacharias:
    • The late apologist was accused of sexual misconduct, including harassment and abuse of women in massage parlors he co-owned.
  • Hillsong Church:
    • Multiple scandals involving sexual misconduct, including the resignation of pastor Carl Lentz for infidelity and allegations against Hillsong’s founder, Brian Houston, for covering up his father’s sexual abuse.
  • Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) Churches:
    • Investigations revealed a widespread pattern of abuse and cover-ups, with numerous pastors accused of sexual assault on minors.

Financial Misconduct and Fraud​

  • Jim Bakker (PTL Ministries):
    • Convicted in 1989 for fraud and sentenced to prison after embezzling millions in donations.
    • Accused of misusing funds to finance a lavish lifestyle, including building a Christian theme park.
  • Benny Hinn:
    • Frequently accused of exploiting followers through the "prosperity gospel," promising miracles in exchange for donations.
    • Faced investigations into financial mismanagement and luxurious spending.
  • Robert Tilton:
    • Prominent televangelist exposed for misappropriating donations while claiming to pray over them.
  • Eddie Long:
    • Megachurch pastor accused of misusing church funds to settle lawsuits related to sexual misconduct.

Moral Failures of Leaders​

  • Jimmy Swaggart:
    • Defrocked by the Assemblies of God in 1988 after being caught in a prostitution scandal.
    • Publicly confessed but was later involved in another scandal.
  • Mark Driscoll (Mars Hill Church):
    • Accused of bullying, spiritual abuse, and creating a toxic church culture, leading to the collapse of Mars Hill Church.
  • Bill Hybels (Willow Creek Community Church):
    • Accused of sexual harassment and abuse of power, resulting in his resignation and church leadership upheaval.

Child Abuse and Neglect​

  • Josh Duggar (Independent Baptist Church):
    • A prominent figure in a conservative Christian family, convicted of possessing child pornography after earlier molestation allegations.
  • Tony Alamo Christian Ministries:
    • Tony Alamo convicted of sexual abuse and exploitation of minors under the guise of religious leadership.

General Misconduct and Hypocrisy​

  • Ted Haggard:
    • Evangelical leader and president of the National Association of Evangelicals resigned after a scandal involving a male escort and drug use.
  • Jerry Falwell Jr.:
    • Former Liberty University president, embroiled in scandals involving inappropriate sexual behavior and financial misuse.


Regarding Praying to the dead and the Saints:

The dead in Christ are alive: Jesus states, "He is not God of the dead, but of the living" (Luke 20:38). Saints in heaven are part of the "great cloud of witnesses" (Hebrews 12:1) surrounding us and cheering us on. Intercession is supported by Revelation: Revelation 5:8 shows the saints offering the prayers of the faithful to God, indicating their ongoing role in salvation history. Misunderstanding prayer: Catholics do not "pray to the dead" as if communicating with spirits. Instead, they ask the Saints to intercede with God, just as Protestants might ask fellow believers to pray for them.

On the topic of Rosary beads being unbiblical:

The Rosary is a meditation on the life of Christ: Each decade corresponds to biblical events, including the Annunciation (Luke 1:26-38), Crucifixion (Luke 23), and Resurrection (Matthew 28). Repetition is not condemned: Jesus' warning in Matthew 6:7 against "vain repetition" refers to meaningless prayers, not sincere, meditative repetition. Psalms often include repetitive phrases (e.g., Psalm 136). Structured prayer aids focus: The beads are a tool to guide prayer and reflection, much like a Protestant prayer journal might be used.

Practice charity and respond to criticism calmly and with love: "Always be prepared to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you. But do this with gentleness and respect" (1 Peter 3:15). Share Catholic teaching resources, offer Catechisms, writings of early Church Fathers, and apologetics from figures like Scott Hahn or Trent Horn to show them the biblical and historical basis for Catholic beliefs.
 
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