You seem to have a realistic view of the situation that matches mine. The big issue in my opinion is our age. I’m in my 30s and I’m not around single women who are good choices anymore. Usually the women that flirt me randomly fall into a few categories:
1) Married or attached women looking for side action. Usually coworkers.
2) 25-30 something who are very attractive (out of my league) and seem to be looking for sugar daddys. I’m guessing hookers by the photos on their ig accounts and how they dress.
3) Single moms.
4) Career women, usually those with a PhD, JD, or even doctors, who want a guy they can control.
No, no, no, and no.
That's what I found from the bars at the time because that's all that was putting themselves out there by aged 30. You forgot to mention ones with mental illness too, that's one you have to look out for as well!!!
I was trying to maximise probability for the right sort with the right chemistry and they simply were not there as I fished with a very large net. But even back then, the good 'uns in church circles were already spoken for by age 20. There was only one I met at random at a disco thing where there was mutual affection when I was 19, but she lived too far away and I didn't have a car. I didn't know my arse from my elbow either.
I’ve also gotten some bad reactions from Christian women at church, with no explanation as to why.
I think it's always good to see how you fair in the real world vs church. I think young, single church girls (not sure if they're saved or not) are under a colossal number of forces which confuses them like under no uncertain terms. They really do not know what they are doing and I've been at the receiving end of fickle behaviour and it's not chad they're after....at least in bars they are far less confused and you have a good baseline for attraction because they don't have so much confusing forces going on in their heads.
Human love is always conditional and transactional. It's the ugly reality. The only kind of love that is unconditional is Divine love.
Yes indeed, and this is what the gospel is all about. I think love for your own children, and even pets surpasses human love. I think to try and bolster human love, you must have many fundamentals in common and that is rare.
The Madonna-like Christian woman that you should marry gets talked about a lot in churchianity but I've never met one either. Obviously, it's ideal if your life long covenant partner is a believer. But we no longer live in a believing age and so we cannot take for granted or believe the illusion that there are millions of chaste Christian women just waiting for a trad chad.
Do not let the perfect become the enemy of the good.
The scriptures were written in times when conditions were so much more favourable and robust. Undoubtedly, the onus was on the man to behave and keep everything in line.
Now, everything couldn't be more precarious. Even girls who go out to Africa to get rid of their guilt are not immune from 'falling in love' with a local rando.
Your original post almost sounds like you have no hope or faith in marriage or getting married, I am quite young im almost 40, Im not single though Im married with kids so Im not in your situation.
Im putting myself in your shoes if it was me I would either get married and probably quite fast I dont waste time OR I would go become a monk and go live in a monestary, I wouldnt want to be living in sin and I would probably struggle living in society single I think theres too many temptations and I would try avoid them personally.
I dont know what your age is but a man can get married and have children at any age, yes it can be hard, expensive etc etc but its worth the fight and struggle in my opinion, for me personally I dont see the point of earning money and having a house if its just for myself I do that for my wife and kids, it just makes sense to me to rather live a life of service if I were to be single, join the military or something or live for God, this is advice to myself Im putting myself in your shoes and what I think I would do.
I do have hope, but I just don't trust attractive women and the potential for what has given them, or still does, the tingles. I would say this to The Good Lord. I trust myself though from experience. I'm maybe just wiser to how women operate and as I've said before, it's too easy to marry someone who all the other men don't find attractive which would make it disingenuous. The relationship between men and women is no different than a man and his motor car and how much money he has to buy it, and how skilled he is at keeping it on the road. It's sincere to find your level.
As for completely turning to the church, I'm Protestant and there is only one Orthodox church in my province which presumably is for those from EE. I've also invested too much for a past-time which I've wanted to turn into a lively-hood eventually. To serve the church, and undoubtedly the needy, a believer IMO, must more or less sell most of his stuff, assetts etc in order for his ministry to not be hypocritical. I've invested too much in order to try and see myself out for the duration and partly because I want to see some things come to fruition. Is that wrong?
Why do you say join the military?
go with God.
