I thought that remark about not wanting to see women's faces or hear their voices "without my consent" was quite obviously tongue-in-cheek. No, I do not despise women. I do not actually have blood pressure problems, and I do not actually want to move into a cave and eat large insects for the rest of my life in order to get away from women. I have multiple women in my life who I care about, and I have never really had any issues getting along with female coworkers.
As for the rest of my comment, I think those were all pretty accurate observations on my part. Women really do get lots and lots of handicaps, advantages and undue power over a man's fate. I really do wish they would stay in the home and out of public life, because they really do just cause too many problems all the time. They really do turn everything in the workplace and in male-dominated social circles into disgusting sex drama and rise through the ranks of any given organization by leveraging their sexuality. Obviously it's not all women and so on, but I'm just talking from my own personal experiences here, this stuff is all extremely common.
In hindsight, that whole post did come off as very bitter, regardless of its contents. I don't think my views on women are wrong, but I definitely do need to temper my bitterness about the whole thing. Psychology is pure quackery, but I do at times discuss such matters with my parish priest, yes. I'm sure I'll stop being so bitter over time as I practice the faith.
Ok, good to hear you're not as distressed as your prior post indicated. I'll leave things with you for now. All the best
I am posting to suggest to other members that there isn't really much more value to be derived from posting for the 10,000th time about the reasons how there's a lack of women that fits the criteria of being young, hot, and virginal. If we already know the information on why it's difficult to find women with those traits so well that it's been brought up 10,000 times then I don't know what additional benefit there is to go through the information again. The most probable result from continually dwelling on this issue is to get more angry and bitter.
What benefit is there to post remixed versions of "This corrupted society is tricking virgin hot 18-25 year old women into working careers that they are wasting their peak years (which is 18-25 year olds) only for them to come out the other end as washed-up 35 year olds that are not longer as attractive or fertile as their 18-25 year old counter parts. No one can give me any suggestions on how I can find a hot virgin 18-25 year old women even though in a healthy society a successful accomplished men should have no issue finding a hot 18-25 year old woman. A healthy society should allow for 10 year age gaps so men can successful marry a virgin 18-25 year old women"
As for strategies for getting into marriages with good, virtuous women, I do think there should be more of that. It seems like Steady Hands was offering to talk to you one-on-one about it. Also it seems like you are pretty set on eventually going abroad. You seem to be in better position to do so given what you've said about your financial success previously on this forum so why not be the vanguard and make the attempt and report back? We've had plenty of people on the old forums talk about such journeys but for carnal purposes so it would be a new and useful thing to hear about someone making such a journey but with the goal of a godly marriage rather than for collecting flags.
If you are unwilling to do so than the only other solution is to make peace with being single and accept it as your cross to bear in the same way men from the past had to make piece with disease, war, etc. Making peace in this case would just mean not dwelling on the women/relationship question. Don't be like the MGTOWS from 15 years ago that talked about "going their own way" away from women but then end up spending much of their time obsessing over them online.
I honestly don't mean this as a dig, but based on your posting history, I think you'd probably be much happier remaining a bachelor. This also goes for guys like IIMT, Douglas Quaid, Australia Sucks and the other regular contributors to this thread. Even from a historical perspective, marriage was simply not meant for every man, and the modern legal contrivance masquerading as marriage in today's Western world is even less universally desirable. And when you say yourself that "dealing with women is awful", this is not exactly a strong endorsement of your own potential as a husband. Even if you go abroad and miraculously find some beautiful, ultra feminine, submissive, virgin 18 year-old Pinay to be your wife, you'll then realize that at the end of the day, she's still a woman and you still have to live with her for the rest of your life. This will necessarily entail a great deal of forbearance on your part, as you have undoubtedly become very stubborn and set in your ways as a middle-aged man. You will then also be forced to endure the considerable sacrifices inherent to fatherhood and being the head of the family. And let there be no doubt or misunderstanding - this is unquestionably a sacrificial role. You will forfeit a considerable amount of your free time, energy and money by being a good father and husband. It is simply not possible to do otherwise, it is inherent to playing that role.
I think a lot of single guys build up a fantasy of marriage in their heads in much the same way that many women build up a fantasy of Chad. Both visions are ultimately delusional. Marriage is not an idyllic existence, it's actually a lot of hard, thankless work on behalf of your wife and children. Does it provide men a sense of purpose and meaning? Absolutely. But it also provides a never-ending source of complaint and resentment if you choose to focus on the downsides. And given the interminably negative tone of this thread and its regular contributors, it's safe to say that none of you are the optimistic lot, and would invariably find much to gripe and complain about if you did find yourselves married. Indeed, I would bet that most of you all would then commence posting in a thread entitled something like, "Miserable married men commiseration thread" and fill it with grumblings about the annoyances and shortcomings of your ungrateful wives and children and how much better life was as a single man.
This deserves the old RVF "post of the day" emote.
My point is we probably carry around too much information from discussing women already. The whole relationship knowledge and dating sphere benefits from overcomplicating things and confusing people. Just like any industry they profit off of repeat customers. The same way a psychologist confuses people further.
If we do not want women who have been spoilt from absorbing modern culture and feminist ideas it follows that we should also not be consuming rage bait material about how bad women and society is or go to deep into generalized dating strategies.
The japanese mans message was also about embracing the journey with a positive mindset. Lamenting about the problems and focussing on negatives that you can not change is not going to be of benefit to a future wife. Or yourself in the current moment because it just makes life worse. The risk is also that things will get stuck in the subconcious along with the rest of the dating information with the chance of apearing again somewhere later on in a future relationship to bite us in the ass.
^ Solid posts.
As for strategies for getting into marriages with good, virtuous women, I do think there should be more of that. It seems like Steady Hands was offering to talk to you one-on-one about it.
To clarify, I was offering
@Unending Powerhouse Match individual help. I would consider offering it to
@Blade Runner if he sincerely asked a specific question and provided sufficient contextual information.
On Societal vs Individual Issues
If a man decides he does not want marriage or kids because of the local environment, societal-level trends, divorce, trauma, age, health, self-centred need fulfilment, or whatever else, so be it. That's up to him. I'm not here to push men into marriage. In fact I've talked at length about the importance of serious screening and consideration about such a huge decision, e.g:
https://christisking.cc/threads/who-should-you-marry.556/#post-63179. Ultimately, it's up to the individual man here to determine what they really want, how much they want it, and what they are willing to sacrifice in order to achieve it.
That said, focusing on negative societal-level trends and news is going to make individuals feel more demoralised and hopeless. Conversely, focusing on what individuals can directly control is going to make them feel more empowered and energised.
This does not mean burying our heads in the sand. It's worth acknowledging that cynicism can represent a very powerful mechanism to deal with past, immediate, and imagined threats.
Some level of critical assessment and distrust is needed to survive and thrive, and to justify our decisions to ourselves. It's also important to have an outlet to share frustrations albeit in a measured way.
Conversely, cynicism can act like a psychological defensive shield that protects us from anticapated hurt, rejection, or other pain; whereby we blame external conditions for our personal inactions.
30 second vid:
A deeper dive into cynicism - 1 hour vid:
Yet if someone's goal is to initiate or maintain a relationship, fixating on the things they cannot control and the things they want to avoid won't help much with getting closer to the things they want to personally *gain*.
Just because things are unfavourable
at a population-level, does not mean that someone cannot achieve their goals and overcome the odds
at an individual level. This applies to the dating market, employment conditions, health patterns, etc.
No one is giving up. At least not me, and I've never even hinted at that. What I'm talking about is finding ways and strategies to make things better, or at least give it a shot.
Notice, if you please, ginsu, what happened in the last day here: People told me that maybe I should give up. Think about that. It shows you what's really going on. Read that 3x.
This is sincerely confusing. Would you be okay to share your relationship status and associated goals?
As you are a prolific poster and often discuss problems with the dating market, societal conditions, etc, I think it would help the readers to grasp the basics of your situation and intentions. It's possible to share this without revealing any identifying data.
Also, do you think about what you want to get when writing about issues with women or society? I.E.
- vent and feel emotional release,
- read like-minded opinions and validation,
- help others,
- seek information or wisdom from others, or
- something else?
I've got a few close male friends in their 30s-40s who decided "marriage and kids are probably not for me". It's not my role to convince them otherwise. Best I can do is try to live by example in my own marriage and parenting. And I'm fine with that.
So I truly don't mind if a CIK member is single or not, wants marriage or not, wants kids or not, etc. It's not on me to judge.
I do think it's easier to understand their postings if they share their relationship situation and goals with the membership.
www.campop.geog.cam.ac.uk
