Forgiveness Before Repentance

H

Helmsman

Protestant
Heritage
I got cheated on a while back. We don't have any contact. It cut deep. She never apologized. After cooling off I chose to forgive her. Didn't tell her that. Not going to unless she reaches out which won't happen. Simply between God and I.

If God doesn't extend His forgiveness to us till we repent, is it a sin to forgive someone if they don't apologize?
 
Forgiveness is a virtue, plain and simple. It's got nothing to do with apology or repentance from the other party in our personal cases. And in fact this virtue is described as a prerequisite to receiving God's forgiveness.

Matthew 6:14: “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
 
You have to forgive her but you don't have to put yourself in a position to be cheated on by her again.

Between God and men, God's forgiveness causes their repentance. Not the other way around. Sorry this happened to you. God will be with you.
 
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This is a tough one. In the King James Bible Christ while on the cross says "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." This would indicate that forgiveness can be granted for those who do not repent. However, Christ's statement also indicated that those individuals did NOT apprehend that what they were doing was in fact wrong under the archaic Roman law of the age and didn't recognize who he truly was. If someone cheats in a relationship then they know full well that what they did was wrong. It is then incumbent upon them to apologize and for you to forgive. We've all been there at one time or other in a relationship.

You will know when you have truly forgiven her when you are glad that she did what she did to you. Because if she didn't, you would never have experienced the blessings that God had in store for you afterward. Wait on the Lord and trust in him, He won't let you down.
 
Forgiveness is not letting people off the hook, it's understanding the fallenness of man and releasing the millstone of unforgiveess from around your neck. There is always a consequence to sin, which reminds me of this story:

A man in his despair casts himself off of a tall building to end it all. He immediately realises his mistake and cries out to God for forgiveness for what he has done. God replies, "Yes son, you are forgiven. Now, I'll see you in about three seconds".

So yes, you must work on your forgiveness for her transgression, but in the real world you need to move on from her and cast her adrift, especially if she's unrepentant. She won't thank you, she'll probably despise you for it, but that's for her to answer for on her judgement day.
 
Helmsman said:
I got cheated on a while back. We don't have any contact. It cut deep. She never apologized. After cooling off I chose to forgive her. Didn't tell her that. Not going to unless she reaches out which won't happen. Simply between God and I.

If God doesn't extend His forgiveness to us till we repent, is it a sin to forgive someone if they don't apologize?
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This is exactly how forgiveness should work between humans. It's true we need to repent and believe in Christ as the Son of God to be forgiven by God. However, we should forgive each other even if the other doesn't repent. It is definitely not a sin to do this.

The reason we do this is to obey God, but also because it releases a burden from our own hearts.

As several have said, it is still appropriate to cut people from our lives if they have harmed us and are unrepentant. However, we should forgive them even as we take steps to avoid further harm from them.
 
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