Raising Kids in the Modern World

TheLearningWife

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Health, education, life skills, philosophies, etc.

Best thing we did recently was take an old section of boat rope, throw it across a tree branch, and tie the ends to another cut branch. Free swing. I’m designing a natural playground area as part of meeting our 1000 hours outside goal. Highly recommend.
 
If you have a child with a reactionary character, whatever you want to say to him, say to God first. Kneel before God, and through the grace of God, our words will be conveyed to your child.... Another child may listen to what you say, but though he hears he easily forgets. Therefore, you will kneel and ask for God's grace again, so that our fatherly words will fall upon good soil and bear fruit... Don't pressure your children. Whatever you want to say to them, say it with your prayers. Children don't listen with their ears. They will only listen to what we want to tell them when divine grace appears and enlightens them. When you want to say something to your child, say it to the Panaghia instead and she will do all the work. Your prayer will become a spiritual hug, which embraces your children and captivates them.

-Elder Porphyrios of Athens
 
Prayers for TheLearningWife's child's heart condition. I pray for healing and wisdom for all involved.

This may be slightly off topic, but maybe not.
I think it's very on topic. When our children suffer, we suffer double because we love them so much. It's challenging and strengthening to our faith. "Into your hands, Lord, we commend ourselves" is easy to say for ourselves... It really takes true belief and faith to say, "Let *Your* will be done," when it comes to our own children. It is an extreme humbling, a true submission our God Almighty.
 
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I think it's very on topic. When our children suffer, we suffer double because we love them so much. It's challenging and strengthening to our faith. "Into your hands, Lord, we commend ourselves" is easy to say for ourselves... It really takes true belief and faith to say, "Let *Your* will be done," when it comes to our own children. It is an extreme humbling, a true submission our God Almighty.
That's what I was thinking, but wasn't sure how to approach the topic. I like how you put it.
 
I found this podcast as she did an interview with EMJ :
...however it's mainly about home schooling which for some parts of the world is probably better.
Nice English accent. This is her home page :
 
I just want to share some really good news! My state awards scholarships to parents who want to use the funds for private school or to homeschool. It’s almost $9k a year per child (depending on your county), and $20k+ for a child with disabilities. There are no income requirements. My husband is super happy because this means he doesn’t have to pay for the myriad of extracurriculars we do, and most of them are already registered with it.

I spoke with a representative today, and she said that TX may be getting this soon too. This is such great news for HS families and really makes quality, local programs affordable for all families, and is definitely a financial injection for middle class families and local businesses. For example, cooking schools run by a local chef that serve homeschoolers, quality art classes, local gyms that have HS PE classes, sports reimbursements, etc. You can even use the funds to cover desks, furniture, curriculum.

Accepting $$$ from the government has always been a sticky subject in the HS world, but this seems different (well, it’s done through a non profit I think?), and it’s hard to pass up. What do you think?
 
Take them to church, make sure they have responsibilities and they know they have to earn their keep and life isn't easy or a handout, make sure they have physical hobbies (not the internet and video games), make sure they know right from wrong, support them in good things but make sure to correct them in bad things.....don't just tell them they are perfect and can do no wrong like many parents have done the disservice of doing to their kids. Most importantly make sure they have strong role models, that's probably the hardest one because it's more than just their father they need other family and people close to them to be accountable to and not everyone has that.

These are what I have observed from the outside that makes a difference at both ends of the spectrum, kids that were worthless entitled shits and kids that give you hope for the future.
 
" they need other family and people close to them to be accountable to and not everyone has that"

This is our struggle, you really realise this when your kids get older. Some things can't be done just as a parent, you just won't have the time for it and you also don't want strangers to have a bad influence on them.
 
" they need other family and people close to them to be accountable to and not everyone has that"

This is our struggle, you really realise this when your kids get older. Some things can't be done just as a parent, you just won't have the time for it and you also don't want strangers to have a bad influence on them.

I know, it's by far the hardest one because it's not something you can necessarily change if you don't have it. The problem is that it's very important, I wish I had an answer to that.....the dumb saying "it takes a village" is pretty damn accurate.
 
I know, it's by far the hardest one because it's not something you can necessarily change if you don't have it. The problem is that it's very important, I wish I had an answer to that.....the dumb saying "it takes a village" is pretty damn accurate.
A village of like-minded Christian families would be great. The Amish seem to make it work. There doesn't seem to be many other options, and the "village" the left envisions raising your children is rife with rainbow flags, atheists, and lots of minorities to abuse your child.
 
A village of like-minded Christian families would be great. The Amish seem to make it work. There doesn't seem to be many other options, and the "village" the left envisions raising your children is rife with rainbow flags, atheists, and lots of minorities to abuse your child.

"Village" of course isn't literal, it just means you have a lot of good people in your life for your kids to draw examples and guidance from. But they have to be good people, you can have the largest social circle in the world and if they are garbage it will be a bad outcome

I've seen both sides, I've seen kids that were completely worthless disrespectful entitled garbage and their families had a huge social circles....but they weren't necessarily good people so that's where the kids got their examples from. More recently I've seen my first cousins kids who are tough, smart, respectful and hard working they give me hope for the future. They have 3 uncles, 5 aunts who are all married to good men and then more older cousins like me that they can probably count. People who hold them accountable and who they look to make proud.

I have other specific examples I have seen simply because I have such a massive family and everyone has kids but for these two sets of kids they are actually all around the same age. The mother of the first set of kids always asked why I never brought my cousins around because they were all the same age and her kids didn't really have any friends. I could never tell her that if I brought my cousins around her kids I'm not sure if they would have slapped them or slapped me for it. Even though they were the same age the difference between them was incredible, the bad set of kids who were teenagers might as well have been toddlers and my cousins can come sit at the table with the men like they belong there. The best I could describe it was that one set was still children and the other set was young men and they were raised as such.

They actually did share some interests they are still kids of the same age after all, it was all just a matter of the difference in how they were raised
 
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"Village" of course isn't literal, it just means you have a lot of good people in your life for your kids to draw examples and guidance from. But they have to be good people, you can have the largest social circle in the world and if they are garbage it will be a bad outcome

I've seen both sides, I've seen kids that were completely worthless disrespectful entitled garbage and their families had a huge social circles....but they weren't necessarily good people so that's where the kids got their examples from. More recently I've seen my first cousins kids who are tough, smart, respectful and hard working they give me hope for the future. They have 3 uncles, 5 aunts who are all married to good men and then more older cousins like me that they can probably count. People who hold them accountable and who they look to make proud.

I have other specific examples I have seen simply because I have such a massive family and everyone has kids but for these two sets of kids they are actually all around the same age. The mother of the first set of kids always asked why I never brought my cousins around because they were all the same age and her kids didn't really have any friends. I could never tell her that if I brought my cousins around her kids I'm not sure if they would have slapped them or slapped me for it. Even though they were the same age the difference between them was incredible, the bad set of kids who were teenagers might as well have been toddlers and my cousins can come sit at the table with the men like they belong there. The best I could describe it was that one set was still children and the other set was young men and they were raised as such.

They actually did share some interests they are still kids of the same age after all, it was all just a matter of the difference in how they were raised
I agree. Even if a set of parents raise their kids with discipline and a good moral foundation, the kids can still be influenced by the other adults they see in their life. If the aunts and uncles are a mess, and if the parent's close friends are a mess, then kids will absolutely take them as examples to follow in spite of their parent's example.

Parents should make sure that they only hang around with other adults who are the kind of example they want their kids to follow. When kids are surrounded by an entire family and social circle of responsible and moral adults, then they are most likely to follow that path.
 
A village of like-minded Christian families would be great. The Amish seem to make it work. There doesn't seem to be many other options, and the "village" the left envisions raising your children is rife with rainbow flags, atheists, and lots of minorities to abuse your child.
Why not?

It can't be that hard to organise can it?

There's certainly be been a better chance for people to do this than now right?
 
I agree. Even if a set of parents raise their kids with discipline and a good moral foundation, the kids can still be influenced by the other adults they see in their life. If the aunts and uncles are a mess, and if the parent's close friends are a mess, then kids will absolutely take them as examples to follow in spite of their parent's example.

Parents should make sure that they only hang around with other adults who are the kind of example they want their kids to follow. When kids are surrounded by an entire family and social circle of responsible and moral adults, then they are most likely to follow that path.

That's exactly what it was, the family around them which wasnt much wasn't a good example and the "friends" of the family were horrendous. The family weren't bad people they just weren't a good example as they had their own sets of issues and the kids had those issues in their faces. The "friends" of the family on the other hand were a horrible example to follow for the kids and unfortunately they were very entrenched in their lives as socializing was extremely important to this family....to the point where it didn't matter if they were good or bad people they just tried to put themselves out there for everyone and also let everyone into their lives. I won't bore with the specifics but the kids were modeling their lives after these bad examples because that was all they knew and the parent saw these terrible examples as just part of their lives as normal even promoting them, she allowed them to influence her children to their detriment and the manifestation of it was glaring....but that how she herself lived so she never saw it that way.

I felt bad for her kids even as rude and disrespectful as they were I still felt bad for them because i knew it wasn't their fault. Whenever I tried to say something she would get upset, she was content to just bury her head in the sand and keep going like everything was normal even if it meant her kids had severe issues because of it that were only going to get worse as they got older. My genuine attempts to help out of care as an outside observer who was allowed to see the bigger picture were taken as insults.
 
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Why not?

It can't be that hard to organise can it?

There's certainly be been a better chance for people to do this than now right?

People can't just relocate wherever they want. 99% of people are job limited. That's why our communities are so fractured to begin with.

The best bet for your children is always to find a good Orthodox Church, and spend lots of time with the people in it.
 
Hey @Samseau can us Ladies get posting privileges in the “Family Matters” section? I have a lot of homeschooling and family info to contribute, but I’d have to make a duplicate thread in Ladies General as it stands. Thoughts?

Or if not, can someone please post this in the Homeschooling thread:

Sold a Story Podcast.


I’m on episode 3 and highly recommend if you’re starting out homeschooling and are stuck between phonics and sight-reading/whole word, or maybe you want to understand the debate between the two. Why does America teach kids to read like struggling readers?

Description:
“Millions of kids can't read well. Scientists have known for decades how children learn to read, but many schools don’t know about the research. They buy teacher training and books that are rooted in a disproven idea. In Sold a Story, Emily Hanford investigates four authors and a publishing company that have made millions selling this idea. The podcast has won some of the biggest awards in journalism. Twenty-five states (and counting) have changed their reading laws because of it.”


Episode 1: The Problem
Lee Gaul watches his daughter’s lessons during Zoom school and discovers a dismaying truth: She can't read. Little Zoe isn't the only one. Sixty-five percent of fourth graders in the United States are not proficient readers. Kids need to learn specific skills to become good readers, and in many schools, those skills are not being taught.

Episode 2: The Idea
Sixty years ago, Marie Clay developed a way to teach reading she said would help kids who were falling behind. They’d catch up and never need help again. Today, her program remains popular, and her theory about how people read is at the root of a lot of reading instruction in schools. But Marie Clay was wrong.

Episode 3: The Battle
President George W. Bush made improving reading instruction a priority. He got Congress to provide money to schools that used reading programs supported by scientific research. But backers of Marie Clay’s ideas saw Bush’s Reading First initiative as a threat.

Episode 4: The Superstar
Teachers sing songs about Lucy Calkins. The longtime professor at Columbia University’s Teachers College is one of the most influential people in American elementary education today. Her admirers call her books bibles. Why didn't she know that scientific research contradicted reading strategies she promoted?

Episode 5: The Company
Teachers call books published by Heinemann their bibles. The company's products are in schools all over the country. Some of the products used to teach reading are rooted in a debunked idea about how children learn to read. But they've made the company and some of its authors millions.

There are 18 episodes. Does anyone care to do a deep dive on Marie Clay, Irene Fountas, Gay Su Pinnell, and Lucy Calkins? I find it interesting that they’re all women, seem very few men supported this idea, and it’s hard to find any background information on them. Something smells funny about the whole thing, especially the extreme reverence shown to them by other women. One teacher said, a first edition book by Marie Clay was kept in a vault and treasured, and she was compared to Isaac Newton 🤡
 
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