I’m a bloated Everyman. I turn 34 in a month. Am I too old to start studying a martial art? I’m not trying to become some sort of gram star or pro fighter. My goal, get in shape and self defense. Be HONEST haha.
If you do it like a sport and avoid any risk of injury, it can be a way to get back in shape that is fun if you're with like-minded people and all the psychos have been filtered out of the dojo.
If you approach it like an actual fighting art and intend to learn how to really fight, there is no way to do that without getting injured. It depends on the person, but someone your age is past the point where you can recover easily from even small injuries, so most likely this approach is a bad idea.
Don't try to learn to fight, just use the sport-fighting environment to get into shape.
What are the qualities needed for self-defense?
(1) Confidence: It's similar to picking up girls that the most important thing is confidence, which comes from experience. So how do you get experience fighting without being injured? You can't, but you could approximate fighting experience and avoid injury you're too old from which to recover.
(2) Intensity or determination, aka courage: Beginners train discipline as an approach to developing intensity, which is just the ability to focus your mind on a task, but with fighting it becomes courage because you have to match your will against your opponent. You can get this by training with real fighters even if you don't actually spar (in order to avoid injury). They'll tell you when you have to act at the difficult times in training and if you hack it, you'll become more determined.
The requirements for prayer and fasting build discipline in a person and aid them in focusing their mind and minimizing distractions for specified periods of time, so you have a parallel practice to accompany your Karate Kid montage sequence, lol.
(3) Opsec / awareness: Once you have intensity, which some people substitute with rage—not a good idea—you need to
think about fighting all the time and imagine scenarios wherever you are without getting too weird about it.
"That guy looks like a jerk who wants to sucker punch someone. Is that a bulge around his waistband? Glock or colostomy bag?"
Do it all the time.
(4) Offense: you have to have the strength and speed to hurt someone, and some kind of technique, even just one. This is the easiest part of training and where the vast majority of people mistakenly spend 99% of their time. You only need a couple of moves to deal with street crime and barroom sucker punchers.
(5) Defense: in addition to awareness of your enemy(s), you need to have a defensive mindset and some techniques for minimizing harm to yourself. Boxers are great examples in their footwork, head movement, and how they size up their opponent.
Luckily, your potential attackers only have a few moves and their main one is the element of surprise, so once you remove that with your awareness, you've created a deterrent that the bad guys will usually notice and avoid you. They are continually sizing up their victims wherever they are and will notice those who are aware.
(6) Concealed carry: Do all the above and also learn to carry reasonably well, which takes a few years of practice IMO.