I have officially relocated to USA, my experience so far, the good, the bad and the ugly

@GoodShepherd - You may want to look into the U.S. Refugee Admissions Program (USRAP) website to get some type of consultation or assistance. Try to go thru the entire USRAP website including the Related Links section. I'm sure you'll find something.

The United States Refugee Admissions Program (USRAP) Consultation and Worldwide Processing Priorities​


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Refugee Admissions Program for South Africans


 
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I arrived in USA from South Africa less than a month ago and wanted to share my long, hard and expensive journey to make it here. No, I am not one of those refugees you recently saw arriving into the USA on TV being greeted by government officials, I came on my own before they actually arrived. Incase you are wondering, I came into America the legal way, we followed the protocols and got all our visas and paper work done which was a slow expensive process due to the exchange rate.

The trip took lots of planning, almost a year and it was a HUGE sacrifice and expense to me and my family, its the biggest risk so far that Iv taken, big because it involves the safety, protection and well-being of my wife and kids. Financially it was also the biggest risk as Iv literally put all our life savings in 1 very risky uncertain basket. It was also quite an emotional toll on us all as we literally had to give up everything we had including our loving pets and all our family, friends, familiarity and our country of birth, not knowing if we will ever have the opportunity of seeing those people ever again or if we would make it here, we secured only a few small sentimental items but we basically had to refine our life's possessions into 1 suitcase each and a backpack, thats it and we came from a big house, big property so we had lots of things.

The trip was long as we didnt fly here directly, it was tiering and we suffered from jet lag when we arrived and 3 days later we all fell ill, with 3 small children we arrived at our destination tired, hungry, thirsty and disorientated. Unfortunately the people who were supposed to help us when we arrived in the US, some family members and one who became a US citizen some time back, let us down and werent able to help us for quite a few days due to some complications and difficulties of their own that we found out later. For about 10 days we had a very dark cloud over us and lived 10 days of hell, it got to the point where I actually had regrets of coming here and worried that I might have made a huge mistake and I even apologized to my wife for leading us here.

It was a shock for me when I arrived as everything is so different to back home and with no help and guidance I almost felt like a new born baby unable to navigate on my own. I know it might sound strange but even taking a shower or turning on a light or opening a door was all a challenge, my wife couldnt even turn on the shower by herself and had to wait for me to get back home from the grocery store to help her, a store that I struggled to buy 3 simple items from, it took me 30min due to all all the products being new to me and all the bright luminous packaging and just how different things work here. Turning on the shower is totally different to back home and even plugging a bath tub I had to call someone to assist me, it so happened the wrong plug was left in the wrong bath tub so it didnt work.

America is a very advanced country, in South Africa we open and close our doors with locks and keys, In America they use keyless locking systems with a digital passcode or access cards, totally foreign to me. All these new things (which are great) made my initial adjustment very difficult.

Fortunately a member of the forum @chancevought whom I had already been in contact with since last year came to our rescue and showed us some real American kindness, he took time out of his day and drove an hour to come and see us and to loan us a car and was the first person to teach me how to drive here as we drive on the other side of the road back home and showed me how to fill up the petrol tank (we have petrol attendants in SA) he also asked us to write him a list of basic survival items we needed, in this part of America Im in you cant survive or do anything without a car or cellphone, we didnt have transport and outside of wifi our phones didnt work, I didnt know whats north or south up or down, the exchange rate from our rands to USD is also terrible and our money is basically worthless here, like peanuts. Our children ate everyday but my wife and I didnt have a decent meal for many days, the best meal I had was at Chance Vought house when I dropped him off in his car, his wife made us hot dogs, Chance Vought said I could have as many as I wanted, I didnt tell him but that was THE best meal I had in days thanks buddy! His wife also packed us a whole lot of oat bars for my kids and a huge bag of chicken nuggets which we still rationing until today, life savers.

Americans are very friendly, kind and helpful people and besides all the amazing help Chance Vought gave us including pots, pans, mugs, plates, great set of knives etc etc other people we met also gave us brand new blankets and even furniture and other household items. When I arrived in the US I stayed at a very low budget hotel with only 2 beds in a single room and we are 5 people with nothing, no cutlery, no broom, no dish clothe or sponge etc so these basic items Chance Vought brought to us were life savers, I no longer had to sweep the floor with toilet paper or wash my plastic disposable cup with the small complimentary shampoo with my bare hands. The hotel staff were all non white but very very friendly, welcoming, kind and helpful, some of the hotel guests you could tell were doggy people like drug addicts but even so we were well treated by them and people even held doors open for us and always smiled and said hello. A higher percentage of the guests were black at the second hotel we moved to as we needed a bigger room which we got, the first hotel more hispanics, once we got the car from Chance Vought we moved around to 3 other places trying to get the best deals and find better living conditions, it wasnt easy moving around all the time with all our luggage and 5 people all squashed into 1 car, it became tiring.

Things have turned around since then and we are doing MUCH better now, we are in contact with our family and see them often now and we have transport and can make calls and texts (no data yet we are told our phones are not compatible in USA), we have a nice place we are staying at that was offered to us for 1 month before the previous owners lease expires, we are all well and have now adjusted and we have the ball rolling, we still have hurdles and challenges coming but God has helped us up to this point.

I am very impressed with America It's a great country, people have a high living standard here, fuel is cheap, great products and stores everywhere, America has a bad name for unhealthy foods but there are many good quality foods too and lots of organic products too, I can also see so far that there are lots of opportunities here to earn a decent living that I havent seen in other countries, no shortage of work and business opportunities. The nature is great too, lots of wildlife and big open spaces everywhere mixed inbetween city and suburban life.

I know there are people on the forum who dont like AI but chat GPT has been our best friend here and really helped us with information and even to fill out documents and forms, get info and demographics of neighborhoods and schools ANY information, we are using chat GPT daily its been a life saver in a foreign land.

In closing, if anyone on here would like to advise me on my asylum process if you have any expertise in this process pls DM me, anyone who lives in America and would like to share some helpful info and advise for me and my family about anything feel free to comment I would greatly appreciate. I would also like to ask for your prayers for me and my family, for those who pray, that Gods will be done and for guidance for us🙏🏻
Happy to have you here, brother

If you're ever in the heartland (Crossroads of America) let me know. I'm Serbian Orthodox and we'd love to welcome you to a liturgy.

God bless
 
@Samseau
@scorpion

How do you guys feel about starting a fund raiser for our brother here similar to what we did for the annual expenses? You guys think that's a good idea or just keep it private in PM's?
I think it will actually be more effective if those who are willing and able to offer assistance just post in this thread and/or PM GoodShepherd directly.
 
@GoodShepherd - You may want to look into the U.S. Refugee Admissions Program (USRAP) website to get some type of consultation or assistance. Try to go thru the entire USRAP website including the Related Links section. I'm sure you'll find something.

The United States Refugee Admissions Program (USRAP) Consultation and Worldwide Processing Priorities​


Edit.

Refugee Admissions Program for South Africans


Thank you I will have a look at that!
 
It's better if Shepard can meet or speak with the men here directly, helps build community. (As opposed to an impersonal GiveSendGo style fundraiser)
So far I have spoken to some guys directly on a dm since arriving and have made some connections and Im hoping to even meet up with them some day.

Some are not that far away, in neighboring states, I shall pay them a visit in the future God willing🙏🏻
 
Update on our progress, we have managed to find a place to rent and we scraped just enough to pay deposit and first months rent from whatever savings we had in Rands, from some donations on the forum and from some help from someone back home, thank you very much to all those who have helped and supported me along the way I couldnt have done it without you, it was a real help and we made it!


We are 95% unpacked but we are settled, we didnt get the house will originally were trying to get but managed to find something else and was actually slightly cheaper, we were fortunate to deal directly with the owners they own a bunch of houses, liked us and were ok with us moving in without all the paper work. Its not the best house in the world but its a good place to start and Im grateful to be here for the 1 year lease we have signed, the neighborhood is good and its very quite here, its more in the country side so lots of space and flexibility from the landlords for us to basically have a lot of freedom of what we can do on the property. Deep within the backyard if you walk a little you reach a lake and fishing can be done there Im told, thats gonna be good for the kids.


We have registered the kids in public school and they will start in August, the demographics of the school seem really good too and although its public school its just elementary and a good opportunity for my kids to integrate with American kids, play and have some fun Im happy for them.


An important part, I have finally completed the asylum application process, its a very long process, lots of documents to upload and forms to complete, its going to take almost 200 days before I can get a work permit and and 1-3 months after that before I can get a social security number. Maybe South Africans are going to be fast tracked and the process sped up, I dont know but Im not counting on it. The government has recently made it harder for immigrants to come over to USA and even for those who are here its much harder to survive and do things than it was before Im told, its much harder to get drivers license, social security numbers now etc, loop holes have been closed, this is good for America, bad for me right now haha. I must say for anyone trying to move to America, if you not loaded with cash its almost impossible to make it here if you dont have people already living in the US to help and assist you, the process has been much harder than I expected and I needed WAY more help than I thought I would. I truly know what the Lord ment when He said that its better to give than to receive, Im on the receiving side now and it kind of sucks cant wait to be in a position where I can be the giver again, it truly is more blessed. I have encountered many good samaritans along the way.


The fact that the US has a strong currency its a very good deterrent to keeping out the 3rd world especially on lower incomes with weaker currencies from making it here on their own as they gonna need lots of cash to navigate here on their own, I was not a lower income person and even so look how challenging its been.


We not fully there yet but we are doing much better and God willing we will be in a good place soon, thank you for those who have kept us in their prayers they have definately worked, please continue.


I have also found some really good churches that Iv been attending, so far two really good ones and now that Im in the new area gonna try another church thats nearby, I will write my positive experience of Orthodox churches in America soon on another thread.
 
I truly know what the Lord ment when He said that its better to give than to receive, Im on the receiving side now and it kind of sucks cant wait to be in a position where I can be the giver again, it truly is more blessed.

Boy can I relate to this. I hope that at least having to be on the receiving side can help others by giving them the chance to exercise charity. Glad everything is coming together for you so far.
 
Thank you for sharing.
It makes me thankful for what I have been blessed with in this life.

I’ve met few men with your determination and work ethic. Many of us fat lazy Americans haven’t been forged in fire - another mirror for me to look at and ask myself how to become better.
You are not one of those fat lazy Americans @chancevought , you are a very lean guy, you look very good and you are providing very well for your family I was very impressed and also impressed with the way you eat you are more diciplined with food than I am, may God continue to bless you and your family, I couldnt have done it without your help🙏🏻
 
A COMPLIMENT TO AMERICA. Just want to say that America so far on the outside, I havent seen too much open public immorality like Iv seen in other countries, everyone always talk bad about how immoral USA is and Im sure it is too but Iv seen worse in other countries so far so just want to give a thumbs up, at least in the state Im in.

Iv been to countries like in South America where its full of prositution and brothels, public nudity and pornography magazines for sale on the street etc and I havent seen anything like this in USA in public, In Spain many many years ago I also saw on the public TV as a young teenager girls posing nude one by one and selling themselves and their phone numbers shared on the TV, havent seen stuff like that in the US, people seem very decent so far in the US, caring, kind, modest, lots of churchs everywhere you drive, clean, there is a sense of pride and everyone is kind of positive and hopeful and believe theres lots of opportunity around, although I have picked up that things were a little better in the past by what people are saying but they are still very hopeful.

In South Africa people were hopeless and in desperation and misery and you could feel it in the air, I dont get that feeling here. Americans are also always looking out for one another and helping others around them, even when driving I find people are more generous on the road, there are still some assholes and people drive very fast but they give you a lot of chances when turning and changing lanes where as in South Africa I find when you indicate the guy behind you accelerates to close the gap so you dont get in the lane.

I havent seen any sex advertised so far in USA where as in South Africa I noticed more sexual content like billboards advertising sex expos or sex shops, condoms, "safe" sex etc, some bathrooms in South Africa even have condoms inside for people to use Iv seen it a handful of times, havent seen that in the USA yet. Also noticed more abortion advertising in South Africa on public roads and penis enlargment adverts haha, havent seen ANYTHING like that around here which to me its suprising because us South Africans have an image of America as a more immoral place.
 
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A COMPLIMENT TO AMERICA. Just want to say that America so far on the outside, I havent seen too much open public immorality like Iv seen in other countries, everyone always talk bad about how immoral USA is and Im sure it is too but Iv seen worse in other countries so far so just want to give a thumbs up, at least in the state Im in.

Iv been to countries like in South America where its full of prositution and brothels, public nudity and pornography magazines for sale on the street etc and I havent seen anything like this in USA in public, In Spain many many years ago I also saw on the public TV as a young teenager girls posing nude one by one and selling themselves and their phone numbers shared on the TV, havent seen stuff like that in the US, people seem very decent so far in the US, caring, kind, modest, lots of churchs everywhere you drive, clean, there is a sense of pride and everyone is kind of positive and hopeful and believe theres lots of opportunity around, although I have picked up that things were a little better in the past by what people are saying but they are still very hopeful.

In South Africa people were hopeless and in desperation and misery and you could feel it in the air, I dont get that feeling here. Americans are also always looking out for one another and helping others around them, even when driving I find people are more generous on the road, there are still some assholes and people drive very fast but they give you a lot of chances when turning and changing lanes where as in South Africa I find when you indicate the guy behind you accelerates to close the gap so you dont get in the lane.

I havent seen any sex advertised so far in USA where as in South Africa I noticed more sexual content like billboards advertising sex expos or sex shops, condoms, "safe" sex etc, some bathrooms in South Africa even have condoms inside for people to use Iv seen it a handful of times, havent seen that in the USA yet. Also noticed more abortion advertising in South Africa on public roads and penis enlargment adverts haha, havent seen ANYTHING like that around here which to me its suprising because us South Africans have an image of America as a more immoral place.
Fortunately, we have many laws against prostitution or public nudity. Thank our Puritan ancestors for that.

However, the way women dress and behave here is among the worst in the world. Even little girls are sent out wearing skin tight leggings. It's horrible, we are a nation of spineless fathers and feminist mothers. And the general culture of promiscuity is extremely pervasive. Just go to any college campus and you'll see.

So while you won't see blatant sexual degeneracy as you would in Europe or South America, rest assured that it's there under the surface. Like an iceberg where 90% is below water.
 
Fortunately, we have many laws against prostitution or public nudity. Thank our Puritan ancestors for that.

However, the way women dress and behave here is among the worst in the world. Even little girls are sent out wearing skin tight leggings. It's horrible, we are a nation of spineless fathers and feminist mothers. And the general culture of promiscuity is extremely pervasive. Just go to any college campus and you'll see.

So while you won't see blatant sexual degeneracy as you would in Europe or South America, rest assured that it's there under the surface. Like an iceberg where 90% is below water.
Im sure its all true what you saying especially in other cities and states but when I compare USA to other countries Iv visited I think you guys are doing quite well in my opinion and you guys dont deserve the label thats been put on USA when there are far worse countries who should have that label.
 
Congratulations to Shepard for risking everything to give his family a better future. Thank God it all worked out in the end.

What’s truly surprising is the support Shepard received from the forum members. I had the impression that many Americans were growing weary of immigration and wanted to restrict newcomers from entering the country. But with God, nothing is impossible. He softens hearts and moves people to offer protection and kindness to those in need—like Shepard and his family.​

he took time out of his day and drove an hour to come and see us and to loan us a car and was the first person to teach me how to drive here as we drive on the other side of the road back home and showed me how to fill up the petrol tank (we have petrol attendants in SA)
I can relate—where I live, vehicles are right-hand drive for left-hand traffic, and speed is measured in kilometers per hour. I’ve always found it puzzling how some countries have systems that feel neither entirely right nor entirely wrong.

For example, the UK drives on the left but uses miles per hour. Meanwhile, continental Europe gets one part right by using kilometers per hour, but drives on the right side of the road. Then there’s the US, which drives on the right yet still measures speed in miles per hour. 💫😵

Also to fill up my petrol tank I find it very cheap it cost only $35 where in South Africa it would cost me about $83 dollars to fill up my tank with a currency thats x20 weaker than the USD which was really expensive to do in South Africa, most cars in South Africa couldnt afford to fill up their tanks they just topped it up as they needed while here its the other way around the garages are all empty and people fill up their tanks to the max each time.
If you're looking to save even more on fuel, consider getting a 125cc underbone or scooter. They're inexpensive to run and maintain, and they truly offer great value for money. In city traffic, you can expect around 30 kilometers per liter, and under ideal conditions, up to 50 kilometers per liter.

They may seem small at first, but trust me—once you get used to them, they’re surprisingly capable. They can carry two adults and two children, making them a practical option for small families. Plus, they make commuting a breeze: lane splitting is possible, parking is easy to find, and maneuvering through traffic is simple.​
 
Congratulations to Shepard for risking everything to give his family a better future. Thank God it all worked out in the end.

What’s truly surprising is the support Shepard received from the forum members. I had the impression that many Americans were growing weary of immigration and wanted to restrict newcomers from entering the country. But with God, nothing is impossible. He softens hearts and moves people to offer protection and kindness to those in need—like Shepard and his family.​


I can relate—where I live, vehicles are right-hand drive for left-hand traffic, and speed is measured in kilometers per hour. I’ve always found it puzzling how some countries have systems that feel neither entirely right nor entirely wrong.

For example, the UK drives on the left but uses miles per hour. Meanwhile, continental Europe gets one part right by using kilometers per hour, but drives on the right side of the road. Then there’s the US, which drives on the right yet still measures speed in miles per hour. 💫😵


If you're looking to save even more on fuel, consider getting a 125cc underbone or scooter. They're inexpensive to run and maintain, and they truly offer great value for money. In city traffic, you can expect around 30 kilometers per liter, and under ideal conditions, up to 50 kilometers per liter.

They may seem small at first, but trust me—once you get used to them, they’re surprisingly capable. They can carry two adults and two children, making them a practical option for small families. Plus, they make commuting a breeze: lane splitting is possible, parking is easy to find, and maneuvering through traffic is simple.​
Yip the forum members really came through, I have spoken to some over the phone and still busy contacting more so made a few connections which was good to make, I never imagined in the past that something like this would happen. I havent officially "made it" there are still hurdles and challenges I need to cross, I only "made" the journey to get here sucessfully.

@chance vought was a good driving teacher to me, he threw me in the deep end, he basically handed me the keys and made me drive him home which is over a 1 hour drive through all kinds of busy roads and highways and calmly guided me verbally, somehow I made it back home alone, I now understand all the road rules and ways, the car is a manual transmission so I also had to get used to changing gears with the other hand, drive on the other side of the road, go from kilometers to miles.

What I struggled with for a few weeks is visibility, judgment and I kept straying to the right side of the road a lot automatically for some reason while my brain, body and eyes started adjusting and developing new driving habits, I was stopped by a cop once and I think it must have been because of this, he might have thought I was a drunk driver?

Yes there are lots of immigrants around but Iv noticed that America naturally assimilates the other cultures, Iv seen for example Chinese people here but you can see that they are American Chinese the American culture and way of life has rubbed off on them and they have been "Americanized"

Apparently diesel cars here cost around the same as petrol cars I heard? Diesel cars are rare everyone drives petrol but diesel engines last longer and they are also more economical on fuel, in South Africa diesel cars used to be rare just like they are rare in America now but as fuel prices and car prices increased , diesel cars became highly sought after in SA, so "maybe" one day we might see the same patterns happening here?
 
Yip the forum members really came through, I have spoken to some over the phone and still busy contacting more so made a few connections which was good to make, I never imagined in the past that something like this would happen. I havent officially "made it" there are still hurdles and challenges I need to cross, I only "made" the journey to get here sucessfully.

@chance vought was a good driving teacher to me, he threw me in the deep end, he basically handed me the keys and made me drive him home which is over a 1 hour drive through all kinds of busy roads and highways and calmly guided me verbally, somehow I made it back home alone, I now understand all the road rules and ways, the car is a manual transmission so I also had to get used to changing gears with the other hand, drive on the other side of the road, go from kilometers to miles.

What I struggled with for a few weeks is visibility, judgment and I kept straying to the right side of the road a lot automatically for some reason while my brain, body and eyes started adjusting and developing new driving habits, I was stopped by a cop once and I think it must have been because of this, he might have thought I was a drunk driver?

Yes there are lots of immigrants around but Iv noticed that America naturally assimilates the other cultures, Iv seen for example Chinese people here but you can see that they are American Chinese the American culture and way of life has rubbed off on them and they have been "Americanized"

Apparently diesel cars here cost around the same as petrol cars I heard? Diesel cars are rare everyone drives petrol but diesel engines last longer and they are also more economical on fuel, in South Africa diesel cars used to be rare just like they are rare in America now but as fuel prices and car prices increased , diesel cars became highly sought after in SA, so "maybe" one day we might see the same patterns happening here?

They're trying to get rid of diesel powered vehicles for the same reason they're promoting electric junk.

I'm glad you're doing ok btw.
 
Yip the forum members really came through, I have spoken to some over the phone and still busy contacting more so made a few connections which was good to make, I never imagined in the past that something like this would happen. I havent officially "made it" there are still hurdles and challenges I need to cross, I only "made" the journey to get here sucessfully.

@chance vought was a good driving teacher to me, he threw me in the deep end, he basically handed me the keys and made me drive him home which is over a 1 hour drive through all kinds of busy roads and highways and calmly guided me verbally, somehow I made it back home alone, I now understand all the road rules and ways, the car is a manual transmission so I also had to get used to changing gears with the other hand, drive on the other side of the road, go from kilometers to miles.

What I struggled with for a few weeks is visibility, judgment and I kept straying to the right side of the road a lot automatically for some reason while my brain, body and eyes started adjusting and developing new driving habits, I was stopped by a cop once and I think it must have been because of this, he might have thought I was a drunk driver?

Yes there are lots of immigrants around but Iv noticed that America naturally assimilates the other cultures, Iv seen for example Chinese people here but you can see that they are American Chinese the American culture and way of life has rubbed off on them and they have been "Americanized"

Apparently diesel cars here cost around the same as petrol cars I heard? Diesel cars are rare everyone drives petrol but diesel engines last longer and they are also more economical on fuel, in South Africa diesel cars used to be rare just like they are rare in America now but as fuel prices and car prices increased , diesel cars became highly sought after in SA, so "maybe" one day we might see the same patterns happening here?
V8 or diesel only in a truck. The eco boost v6s will burn out early.
 
They're trying to get rid of diesel powered vehicles for the same reason they're promoting electric junk.

I'm glad you're doing ok btw.
What I find lacking in electric cars is a home solar or alternative power station option and a portable charging option that should be sold standard with the car so a person can basically charge their car anywhere at no cost, this would be a pretty good option, if the price of the electric cars could be cheaper too then it would really make a difference, this would lower the cost of owning transportation and lower transport costs. I find electric cars have way too many gadgets, luxury and tech in them and thats fine I guess but this is driving up the cost, I dont need a finger print scan to unlock my car door a regular key will do.

Not sure if this was the case in the US but when petrol was cheap in SA the diesel price was actually lower but now its higher than petrol, Iv noticed in the US that diesel in about $1 more per gallon than petrol Im wondering if this has always been the case or is it a new thing?
 
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