Raising a Daughter

Thefinalepic

Thefinalepic

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I am the father to a 9 month old girl, obviously there is some time before I have to do the *real* parenting - but I am wanting to prepare for the moment when it does come.

Her mother is a good example of what a woman can be when she follows her feminine imperative, but as a father, I am clueless as how to best guard her from the world of social media/feminism/woke school teachers/etc...

Any thoughts or experiences would be much appreciated.

I will say that becoming a father has given me a glimpse of the love that Our Father has for us - it has been a revelation and strengthened my faith exceptionally.
 
If I were you I'd make sure to go to Holy Liturgy every Sunday and get involved in the community. The people at the Church will help you raise your kid in the right environment, and you might even meet some other parents that are doing homeschooling so you can network.

I used to be a teacher. First public then private. I will never send my future kid (Lord willing) to either school. Just my opinion.
 
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Thefinalepic said:
I am the father to a 9 month old girl, obviously there is some time before I have to do the *real* parenting - but I am wanting to prepare for the moment when it does come.

Her mother is a good example of what a woman can be when she follows her feminine imperative, but as a father, I am clueless as how to best guard her from the world of social media/feminism/woke school teachers/etc...

Any thoughts or experiences would be much appreciated.

I will say that becoming a father has given me a glimpse of the love that Our Father has for us - it has been a revelation and strengthened my faith exceptionally.
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What I can say from my own experience is that discernment is important.

Shielding can be the result of the fear of the parent for the world. This can have negative effects, as you transmit your fears on your daughter. If you feel those, it's good to work on those.

The home situation is the best "training ground" if your home is in order, and she sees it is good, if there is love, she will learn the tools to distinct herself between good and bad, as her father does himself.

What I think is important is to not make it black and white, most teachers, most women in kindergarten, are just normal people like you and me, and not evil witches teaching tranny-ism.

You're a blessed man, having a daughter!
 
Children, don't want our money, or house or gadgets, but our time. Invest your time with her, rough play her and let her explore her environment.

And pray with her every night before going to bed.
When you come home, first go to your praying corner, make a prayer to God, then hug and kiss your wife THEN hug your child. In that order.
 
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My advice would be to make special time for just the two of you, father and daughter, and give her time to talk about whatever she wants, and make time for those conversations with her. With my daughter, I can be quick to want to teach her the "right" way or to point out that something she's learned is untrue, but I have to remind myself how important it is to give her time to talk and process things, and to engage in conversation and not just talk at her. This will ensure that she continues to talk to you as time goes on and doesn't start to keep it inside because it'll just be a lecture or one sided conversation.

Basically what @Edelweiss said; time is paramount. You are very blessed to have a daughter, congratulations! She will be your little angel, but don't shield her too much. Let her explore. My youngest son has taught me that babies are bouncier than you'd expect...
 
My experience with my own daughter is that, once they reach the age of reason (5 or 6), they hunger for and will absolutely soak up information about God, a moral universe and spiritual matters generally. Nature abhors a vacuum, so make sure you and your wife are the one's filling your daughter's mind with good things. In any case, my daughter loved to hear about God, the strait and narrow path, avoiding temptations, etc.

Second, and in contrast to just feeding them ideas, I also found it very effective to engage in a dialogue with her about moral, ethical and also aesthetic issues. I liked to take a Socratic approach, and elicit the ideas from within the child so that she articulates her own view, without my actually telling her what to think. For instance, when I would see some sort of degenerate or morally questionable art in a public place (the moral and aesthetic are truly closely related), I would ask her what she thought about it and we would have a discussion about beauty, about how corruption of the soul can be reflected in art, etc.

I would also add that nothing is more important to a child than integrity. You really have to walk the talk. I became a much better person by being a father simply because I did not want to disappoint her or cause her to feel I am a hypocrite. If they see their parents living an ethical life, and even sacrificing things on principle, they will take the lessons much more seriously.
 
Since the original question was asking for advice for a very young child, and my prior response focused on ages 5 and beyond, I’ll add a word that applies to them at all ages:

Avoid anger, yelling, and certainly physical punishment. It is possible to be firm and authoritative in a way that projects love. Always second and third guess yourself when you have an instinct to lose your temper. Control it, and speak to them calmly, firmly and rationally. They understand and they will get it. I have never regretted holding back anger. This works when they are pre-verbal as well: They will understand your physical queues, your demeanor, your tone and your action in conveying that something is wrong or not to be done. Using anger, yelling, intimidation, etc. adds nothing and can undermine the relationship in the long term. The trust and love that will be built up between father and daughter over time through a firm but gentle approach cannot be exaggerated and it is a precious things when it develops.

A relationship that is even partly built upon force and intimidation is not Christian at the deepest level and it is not good parenting. I am aware of the arguments that corporal punishment is Biblical and that there should be some fear of the father in a child etc. I have become increasingly convinced that chastening the child does not require anger, physical punishment or intimidation. In 99% of cases where it is used, it is the lazy man’s out. And, again, I am not arguing for a “nice” and feminized approach: What I am advocating can be done in an entirely masculine, authoritative and firm way. Look at any image of Christ Pantocrator, and you will see the attitude reflected in His face: Of love with firmness and truth.

Tl;dr: Raise your daughter with firm but loving guidance, maintain your poise and equanimity; never use anger or violence.
 
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