Marriage Advice

[thejoyofhate]

I got married earlier this year. We had a Traditional Latin Mass wedding and the TLM was one of the first connections we bonded over. Fast forward now, 11 months into marriage and close to 2 years of knowing each other I need advice.

The one issue that always caused a fight was that she was a little overweight. I would tell her as nicely as I could and she would shut down or get very angry at me. She has a condition called PCOS which makes weight loss hard so I was giving her the benefit of the doubt and bitting my tongue being as patient as possible.

This past month she just had a surgery to help with pcos symptoms and infertility. At the same time this is the heaviest she has ever been. On a bmi chart she is in the obese category. One of the first things the doctor said to me was she needs to get to a healthy weight. I tell her this, I tell her than having this extra weight is not helping with fertility either, and that if we do get pregnant our child could be harmed due to her being overweight. She freaks out on me, cusses me out (not the first time) and screams she’s getting a divorce (not the first time). This is a typical reaction to even trying to talk about a health concern.

I don’t know where to turn. I am trying my hardest but it is difficult to be with someone who can read a bmi chart and see it says obese but not do anything about it or if she does it’s half commitment to a diet or occasional exercise.

Any advice would be helpful. Thank you for taking the time to read.

 

[RedLagoon]

You just tell her she's fat. Knocking her up might help too. Worked for me while having 4 children. My wife is still (almost) as crisp as she was before.

Seriously though; she wants you to take control so it's best to look in the mirror and see what's the thing that can get your lady enticed. Don't give up.

Don't ever beat around the bus brother.

 

[Laner]

Lead by example. Make fitness something that you can do together, so it's like a cheat code for relationships. Women often want to spend more time with their husband, and men want their women to have attractive bodies. Why this works is because you both push each other in the moments where fitness becomes hardest; when it comes time to actually do the work.

This also works in the kitchen. Learn to cook healthy food - animal protein and fats mostly. Cook together and don't let the snacks sneak back into the relationship until you have the weight under control.

 

[Get2choppaaa]

Gonna give you a little real talk from someone who's been through the Gambit on divorce/remarriage and learned what does and doesn't work with women along the way.

Firstly, you married her knowing she was overweight... So no idea why you'd expect her to change. People don't change on a whim.

PCOS is a hormonal issue. Not an excuse to be fat.

You should absolutely do a work out plan together. Take charge and tell her that we need to do something about it.

Her cussing you out is unacceptable. She's lashing out because she knows it's true.

Next time she tells you she's gonna get a divorce tell her to go ahead and file. That sorry sort of crap is totally unacceptable and if she's gonna do that now when you're trying to tell her you're unhappy with her weight... She will pull the same card on you when you have kids together.