Gossip? Not good. Unfortunately, it's an "acceptable" sin in many churches. It's hard to monitor and prevent, and isn't easy for church leadership to discipline as they come across as overly harsh when they do. It's also very easy to do if you're not careful.
As for the rest of what you're talking about; part of loving God is loving His people. The people in your local church are the people He has put in your life. I don't know your exact situation, but perhaps you haven't taken the time to know your fellow congregants as you ought. I'm slower to love others than I ought to be, and find myself easily annoyed at having to meet others. But people like the things I have to say, so they want to come up and talk to me, which made me realize that I am called to love the people of God and that I don't do it as I should. In my case, this meant taking the initiative in getting to know them. This means I overlook things like laughing and talking, but once the service starts, my church gets in order.
I do find wearing hats to church to be irreverent and disrespectful.
