Since the end of my atheism in late 2019 I have been plagued by demons.
I did not realise it, for some reason I judged it as a separate matter, but now I realise it has a connection.
At first I was confronted by a demon that sought to trick me in 2020. I rejected the fallen angel proclaiming my soul belonged to God and sought a Priests advice later that year when I realised the event was still affecting me...
After that, I had many struggles with depression, but God helped me overcome it. What had destroyed me as an atheist was overcome by God alone.
In 2022 I was attacked from a different angle. I was overcome by a strange fit of desire, mainly centered on escaping my mundane life. In hindsight, something unnatural happened.
I would spend while days lying down in bed abd daydreaming. I would write pages of notes for my ideas and I still remember most of it now.
I prayed to God if I could have my desire fulfilled, and I received a strange and very suspicious answer that I should jump off a specific bridge over a motorway.
I believed this answer and rationalised explanations for it. And even walked to the bridge a few times, but did nothing.
Later that year I became frightened, convinced that Satan would easily trick me after hearing warnings that many would be fooled by the anti-Christ and damn themselves.
I became despondent that someone as sinful as I was destined to be tricked and fooled into sin. Which itself is actually a sin I have since found.
I later discovered something called the Law of Assumption on 4chan. I don't actually remember when I discovered this, but I think 2022 should be the earliest possible date. Important, but I will get back to it once I reach the point I investigated it seriously.
In 2023, I discovered a conspiracy theory claiming that the Pagan God's of Ancient Sumeria, the Anunnaki were actually Lizard ghosts that were using reincarnation to eat people's memories, and that they'd corrupted Christianity to hide this. Strangely, I haven't revisited this memory in since late 2023, and only now do I realise "corrupted Christianity" is every heresy that has ever existed.
I recognised this as pagan and gnostic nonsense, but for some strange reason I felt a strong sense that it was true. My gut has never led me right so I still doubted it, but I've never had sensation anything like that, so I was unsure.
I was later attacked by demons that I assumed were said Anunnaki, and revisiting those memories of being told I should jump off a bridge, further rationalised explanations for it, and started attempting it.
Before or after I started believing it, I found the Law of Assumption. I doubted it, but tried it anyway. It claims you can manifest events by imagination. It opens with inoffensive stuff like that with people claiming it's just psychology, but when you read the books of actual practitioners it's all heresy. It appears to be aimed at atheists and claims you can prove it yourself.
Though it also starts with Bible quotes, which conflicts with that assessment.
Matthew 17:20
King James Version
20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
Matthew 7:7-8
King James Version
7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
I believed it mainly because of these quotes.
At some point I managed to crawl onto the guard rail roof of said bridge which was covered in mold and crawled halfway down it attempting to fulfil that wish with suspicious origins.
I then after visualising a scene for several hours managed to walk on the guard rail roof of the bridge at the middle of the night, while it was raining and should have been incredibly slippery, but convinced myself to stop before jumping off the overhang at the middle, because I loved my family and didn't want to even risk hurting them.
The incidents with demons continued after this.
I then became convinced the "Anunnaki were preventing me from jumping off due to mind control and tried again. This time I slipped when giving up at the exact same spot and happened to hurt my waist while falling with a full moon over head. I got angry and assumed the moon had something to do with the "Anunnaki".
I then walked on the overhang again and just continued past the middle to the other side when I couldn't jump off. I then did this at least another 2 times. Probably 3.
I then stopped having the courage to reach the part that was over the motorway and would stop around the area where the trees were next to the road.
I was spotted by a passerby who was concerned and called the police. I was very thankful to him at the time, but I'm rather confused because I remember him having the appearance and candour of a stereotypical liberal. Bugman and all. I have no clue why. Were the demons trying to get me to not listen to him by making me see him as someone I disapproved of? I also remember him getting quite angry at me because his children could have seen me which sounds rather reasonable.
After this I was talked to by my parents, my neighbour, even my priest. My priest told me I had been saved by God. He said that was the reason I was filled fear at hurting my family when I was about to jump.
I continued studying the Law of Assumption and read one of Neville Goddards books.
This was when I discovered the Heresy part. I had been praying for an answer from God I would not misunderstand for over a year at this point. So while I refused to believe the heresy within and attempted to reconcile it, I was very much affected when I read that Neville defined his self concept as "To not be misunderstood".
I became convinced that this was a answer from God, and my concerns were dashed, but I still refused to accept that heresy was true or that the Orthodox Church is wrong.
Neville mentions Saint Thomas Aquinas who once said "The ancients had Christianity but it was not called Christianity." Neville argued he referred to the Law of Assumption and not that Abraham knew of the Trinity.
After that point, I started seeing quotes from Saints online, that at a glance, appeared like they supported a similar idea. Or that God would fulfil your desires if you kept asking. Like that quote that we should "Wrestle with God in prayer by perseverance to receive his blessing."
I became convinced the Law of Assumption was true.
I read more of the book along with the pamphlet I had read at the start and then started trying a bunch of self improvement tactics. I bought Evian water to cut down on fluoride, got outside more and put more effort into finding a job. I fixed my bad sleep schedule, ate better etcetera.
I got a job as a Salesmanship Executive, aced the interview, did a week of online training, and benefited immensely from the exercise, but completely failed to make more than one or two sales in two weeks. Someone I met on a break told me I wasn't suited for being a Salesman.
In retrospect, the managers constantly mentioned stuff like building "greed" and there was great pressure to make sales through any means we had.
I ended up quitting the job on the third week after I was paid several days late and had run out of money. I was spending a lot on food and travel expenses.
This was around May 2023? I think.
After this point I reached an equilibrium where every few months I would reach a checkpoint and decide the Law of Assumption was heresy and I had been tricked by Satan, be reassured by things I had manifested like "signs", and decide it was just a result of my failures.
This might be another of those checkpoints.
I realise now that I have seen a strange mental block in people.
Atheists will achieve mental gymnastics to maintain cognitive dissonance.
I then noticed this mental block appeared whenever discussing Dyophysitism and Miaphysitism. Even when I pointed out that the Wikipedia page claims the Dyophysite argument for Saint Cyril supporting them, is that he said Jesus has One Nature, instead of one personality, people seemed to ignore it.
I started suspecting it was something to do with Satan, perhaps one of his "snares" Saint Anthony the Great warned about.
I then realised the same thing happened whenever I brought up the Law of Assumption. I randomly mentioned it to several coworkers, who all turned out to also be believers. Every single one.
More relevantly, I almost never saw a refutation of it when posting it online. Outside of 4chan and I time I posted it on an Orthodox Discord. That time I mentioned that I had been praying for "An answer I would not misunderstand", and that Neville Goddard had claimed to be the concept of "to not be misunderstood" decades before I was born.
I didn't receive a second response. This is the only time I have seen someone claim the Law of Assumption isn't real or is heresy outside of 4chan.
I think it's the same kind of Mental Block. The same kind of Snare.
I have prayed many times to God, ever since the first day I learned of the Law of Assumption. I have never once heard a negative response, and many prayers went unanswered. Some received what I think were positive responses.
Yet, now I fear that this endless dance of false hope will only continue.
Perhaps I am making a mountain out of a molehill. I felt great despair when I doubted the law more frequently, but I find it more concerning that I felt less despair when I stopped doubting the past few months.
Please pray for me.
God bless you all.
Amen.
I did not realise it, for some reason I judged it as a separate matter, but now I realise it has a connection.
At first I was confronted by a demon that sought to trick me in 2020. I rejected the fallen angel proclaiming my soul belonged to God and sought a Priests advice later that year when I realised the event was still affecting me...
After that, I had many struggles with depression, but God helped me overcome it. What had destroyed me as an atheist was overcome by God alone.
In 2022 I was attacked from a different angle. I was overcome by a strange fit of desire, mainly centered on escaping my mundane life. In hindsight, something unnatural happened.
I would spend while days lying down in bed abd daydreaming. I would write pages of notes for my ideas and I still remember most of it now.
I prayed to God if I could have my desire fulfilled, and I received a strange and very suspicious answer that I should jump off a specific bridge over a motorway.
I believed this answer and rationalised explanations for it. And even walked to the bridge a few times, but did nothing.
Later that year I became frightened, convinced that Satan would easily trick me after hearing warnings that many would be fooled by the anti-Christ and damn themselves.
I became despondent that someone as sinful as I was destined to be tricked and fooled into sin. Which itself is actually a sin I have since found.
I later discovered something called the Law of Assumption on 4chan. I don't actually remember when I discovered this, but I think 2022 should be the earliest possible date. Important, but I will get back to it once I reach the point I investigated it seriously.
In 2023, I discovered a conspiracy theory claiming that the Pagan God's of Ancient Sumeria, the Anunnaki were actually Lizard ghosts that were using reincarnation to eat people's memories, and that they'd corrupted Christianity to hide this. Strangely, I haven't revisited this memory in since late 2023, and only now do I realise "corrupted Christianity" is every heresy that has ever existed.
I recognised this as pagan and gnostic nonsense, but for some strange reason I felt a strong sense that it was true. My gut has never led me right so I still doubted it, but I've never had sensation anything like that, so I was unsure.
I was later attacked by demons that I assumed were said Anunnaki, and revisiting those memories of being told I should jump off a bridge, further rationalised explanations for it, and started attempting it.
Before or after I started believing it, I found the Law of Assumption. I doubted it, but tried it anyway. It claims you can manifest events by imagination. It opens with inoffensive stuff like that with people claiming it's just psychology, but when you read the books of actual practitioners it's all heresy. It appears to be aimed at atheists and claims you can prove it yourself.
Though it also starts with Bible quotes, which conflicts with that assessment.
Matthew 17:20
King James Version
20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
Matthew 7:7-8
King James Version
7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
I believed it mainly because of these quotes.
At some point I managed to crawl onto the guard rail roof of said bridge which was covered in mold and crawled halfway down it attempting to fulfil that wish with suspicious origins.
I then after visualising a scene for several hours managed to walk on the guard rail roof of the bridge at the middle of the night, while it was raining and should have been incredibly slippery, but convinced myself to stop before jumping off the overhang at the middle, because I loved my family and didn't want to even risk hurting them.
The incidents with demons continued after this.
I then became convinced the "Anunnaki were preventing me from jumping off due to mind control and tried again. This time I slipped when giving up at the exact same spot and happened to hurt my waist while falling with a full moon over head. I got angry and assumed the moon had something to do with the "Anunnaki".
I then walked on the overhang again and just continued past the middle to the other side when I couldn't jump off. I then did this at least another 2 times. Probably 3.
I then stopped having the courage to reach the part that was over the motorway and would stop around the area where the trees were next to the road.
I was spotted by a passerby who was concerned and called the police. I was very thankful to him at the time, but I'm rather confused because I remember him having the appearance and candour of a stereotypical liberal. Bugman and all. I have no clue why. Were the demons trying to get me to not listen to him by making me see him as someone I disapproved of? I also remember him getting quite angry at me because his children could have seen me which sounds rather reasonable.
After this I was talked to by my parents, my neighbour, even my priest. My priest told me I had been saved by God. He said that was the reason I was filled fear at hurting my family when I was about to jump.
I continued studying the Law of Assumption and read one of Neville Goddards books.
This was when I discovered the Heresy part. I had been praying for an answer from God I would not misunderstand for over a year at this point. So while I refused to believe the heresy within and attempted to reconcile it, I was very much affected when I read that Neville defined his self concept as "To not be misunderstood".
I became convinced that this was a answer from God, and my concerns were dashed, but I still refused to accept that heresy was true or that the Orthodox Church is wrong.
Neville mentions Saint Thomas Aquinas who once said "The ancients had Christianity but it was not called Christianity." Neville argued he referred to the Law of Assumption and not that Abraham knew of the Trinity.
After that point, I started seeing quotes from Saints online, that at a glance, appeared like they supported a similar idea. Or that God would fulfil your desires if you kept asking. Like that quote that we should "Wrestle with God in prayer by perseverance to receive his blessing."
I became convinced the Law of Assumption was true.
I read more of the book along with the pamphlet I had read at the start and then started trying a bunch of self improvement tactics. I bought Evian water to cut down on fluoride, got outside more and put more effort into finding a job. I fixed my bad sleep schedule, ate better etcetera.
I got a job as a Salesmanship Executive, aced the interview, did a week of online training, and benefited immensely from the exercise, but completely failed to make more than one or two sales in two weeks. Someone I met on a break told me I wasn't suited for being a Salesman.
In retrospect, the managers constantly mentioned stuff like building "greed" and there was great pressure to make sales through any means we had.
I ended up quitting the job on the third week after I was paid several days late and had run out of money. I was spending a lot on food and travel expenses.
This was around May 2023? I think.
After this point I reached an equilibrium where every few months I would reach a checkpoint and decide the Law of Assumption was heresy and I had been tricked by Satan, be reassured by things I had manifested like "signs", and decide it was just a result of my failures.
This might be another of those checkpoints.
I realise now that I have seen a strange mental block in people.
Atheists will achieve mental gymnastics to maintain cognitive dissonance.
I then noticed this mental block appeared whenever discussing Dyophysitism and Miaphysitism. Even when I pointed out that the Wikipedia page claims the Dyophysite argument for Saint Cyril supporting them, is that he said Jesus has One Nature, instead of one personality, people seemed to ignore it.
I started suspecting it was something to do with Satan, perhaps one of his "snares" Saint Anthony the Great warned about.
I then realised the same thing happened whenever I brought up the Law of Assumption. I randomly mentioned it to several coworkers, who all turned out to also be believers. Every single one.
More relevantly, I almost never saw a refutation of it when posting it online. Outside of 4chan and I time I posted it on an Orthodox Discord. That time I mentioned that I had been praying for "An answer I would not misunderstand", and that Neville Goddard had claimed to be the concept of "to not be misunderstood" decades before I was born.
I didn't receive a second response. This is the only time I have seen someone claim the Law of Assumption isn't real or is heresy outside of 4chan.
I think it's the same kind of Mental Block. The same kind of Snare.
I have prayed many times to God, ever since the first day I learned of the Law of Assumption. I have never once heard a negative response, and many prayers went unanswered. Some received what I think were positive responses.
Yet, now I fear that this endless dance of false hope will only continue.
Perhaps I am making a mountain out of a molehill. I felt great despair when I doubted the law more frequently, but I find it more concerning that I felt less despair when I stopped doubting the past few months.
Please pray for me.
God bless you all.
Amen.
